Good Mom, Bad Mom

Surely you've heard of the Good Cop, Bad Cop phenomenon, right?
The former takes a sympathetic, supportive stance toward his subject, convincing the subject that the cop cares and can be trusted.
The latter takes a hard-hitting, no excuses stance toward the subject and shows no signs of grace or mercy.
Somehow the two work together to bring about a desired end. The truth.

Did you know there is also a Good Mom, Bad Mom phenomenon?

I didn't, either.

Actually, I just made it up. Er, I just noticed it.

Sometimes I'm the Good Mom.
I take Joshua fishing. I allow him to keep the snakes he brought home. And the bugs. I let him go to 7-Eleven to get a Slurpee with his friends. And he likes it when I do these things. He tells me he knows I love him because I let him keep the bugs.
And I feel good. Feel like I'm getting this mothering thing "right."
I mean, look at my kid. He's smiling!

But sometimes I'm the Bad Mom.
I tell Joshua to turn off the computer and unload the dishwasher. I look at his room - which he says he cleaned up - and make him come back to do more. Including making the bed. I require him to respond obediently right away, and suffer the consequences if he doesn't. He gets mad. Says I'm not doing a good job of being a mom because he isn't learning anything from my dumb rules.
And I feel like a failure. Feel like I'll never get this mothering thing "right."
I mean, look at my kid. He's crying!

I'm tempted to only play the part of Good Mom. If I am only "nice" all the time, and only do the things that please my children, and only require of them what they want to give, won't they grow up to be the happiest of people and think they had the best mom in the whole world? Why, we would likely avoid all conflicts and my children would never be sad. Wouldn't that be wonderful???

But then I come across things like this and I am reminded of the importance of intentionally shaping my children. Playing Good Mom 24/7 would not make me a "good mom." I cannot let them live in their egocentric worlds and have them believe the world revolves around their desires.
No.
If I am going to be a "good mom," I must find that balance between Good Mom and Bad Mom. I must love my children tenderly, and discipline them with graceful strength. Oh, so easy to write. So much harder to execute.

If only there were someone who could give me a script, a play-by-play description of every day. Then I could get it right. I could know exactly what to expect and how to respond. Dare I say? I could be perfect!
But, alas, there is no script. I must rely completely upon God for the grace to find a balance between Good Mom and Bad Mom. So here I am, on my knees, trusting my Father to make me a good mother. Believing He will work Good Mom and Bad Mom together to bring about the desired end - children who become godly adults.

How are you doing today? Feeling more like Good Mom, or Bad Mom?
We're going to make it. By God's grace, we're going to make it!