Thursday, May 06, 2010

Because I Need Grace, too

So the other night I scurried home from work, got dinner ready as quickly as I could, told Matthew to get ready for soccer practice, and rushed him out the door so we could get there on time. It was hectic, to be sure, but I was glad we were going to make it.
However, just as Matthew got out of the van and I was about to exhale, he let out a howl. "Ooohhh! I forgot my water bottle!" And then he pleaded with me, "Will you go home and get it for me?"

Honest moment:
I did not want to go home and get that water bottle. I mean, I did want to go home, but I didn't want to turn around and go back to the soccer field. I wanted to curl up in a heap and hide.
I have told Matthew enough times to make sure he has everything he needs before we walk out the door. He knows a water bottle is necessary at soccer practice. This is not new information. Oh, I did not want to go get that water bottle.

But there I was, driving home with every intention of finding a water bottle for my son and taking it back to soccer practice for him.
Arghhhh! What was going on with me? He didn't deserve this kindness!
(Could I really call it kindness when I was grumbling about it???)

In an attempt to make some sense of the situation, I asked myself, "Why am I doing this for him?"
And as I pondered what could possibly be causing me to do something for someone, which they simply did not deserve to have done, I came to understand.

Why was I doing this for him?

Because I need grace, too.



Jessica Nelson said...

Great example. :-)

luvmy4sons said...

Yes. What a good mom! I have found myself many times doing the very same thing. I struggle sometimes now that they are older with the question of whether I should bail them out. I know that they need to learn consequences of failing to plan and all of their choices. My husband is better about not catering to them as he puts it and wanting them to be "men". When they were young though...never a question but hard to define the line at times. And when I choose NOT to save them or aid them and I let the consequences fall I fight that horrible feeling I am not a good mom...usually God sweeps in and shows me the fruit though and its good. Personally, I would always rather run back and get the water bottle for them. Love your heart. Always so full of grace! You encourage me in this!

Jerralea said...

Oh this has happened so many times to our family, too! When should we extend grace, and when should we let them suffer the consequences? Really difficult to choose. But of course, when I mess up, I always want God to extend ME grace!

Amanda said...

I seriously cant come to your blog when I am hormonal because all I do it cry.

In a good way.

I think.


gianna said...

Grumbling is my middle name. Gianna Grumbling Kordatzky. There you have it. And my name (Gianna) means God is Gracious. name is God is Gracious as I'm Grumbling Kordatzky.

Oooooh. That was a reality check for me. Just now. Seriously.
Thanks, Karen for helping to open my eyes!

Sara K. said...

Funny how parenting can do that to us... help us see how much grace & love WE have been given by the Lord!! :) God has obviously blessed you with the ability to see those profound lessons through your parenting situations -- thank you for helping us see them too! I feel like my eyes have been more open lately to seeing God's hand in a more personal way during my day. Yay!

On Purpose said...

Being a mom is full of moments to take and receive grace~

Irritable Mother said...

Jessica - Thanks.

Leslie - Yeah. That's a hard line. I know they need to experience natural consequences. That's good and necessary.
The thing I try to keep in mind is who will be adversely affected. eg. Matthew's coach and teammates would have had to put up with his fussing and negative attitude.
When I don't want to *make* other people suffer for my child's poor choices/failure to remember things, I am more likely to 'extend grace'.

Jerri - Like I said to Leslie, I try to think about who ELSE is going to be affected by my child suffering his (or her!) consequences.
And I am thankful that God knows when it's best to bail me out, and when to let me *suffer*.

Amanda - Well then, you don't need to wash your face today. *grin*

Gianna - Love how God arranges those reality checks. :)

Sara - God shows me SO MUCH through parenting. And I am forever grateful.
I'm glad He's opening your eyes, too!

Nichole - Sometimes it's easier for me to give grace than to receive it.
Sounds backwards, I know. Guess it's part of my perfectionistic tendency, which I need to put OFF every day.
Ironic, isn't it? I need God's grace to receive God's grace!
What a mess I am. LOL!

Edie said...

You're a good mom. You love your son. It shows. You are setting a good example. We all need to practice grace. :)

km said...

A good lesson...I know how much I NEED His grace and forgiveness...and that's how much I should extend.