Thursday, July 28, 2016

Worth Remembering

Last week I received an email from a very worn-out, discouraged mother. Who happens to be expecting her fifth child(!) at the end of next month.
As I typed out my response to her, I couldn't help but remember the struggle of having littles. Of battling feelings of jealousy towards a husband who "got to" be gone so often for work and work-related activities, when I "had to" be home with the children. While simultaneously being grateful beyond words for his efforts and long hours - which allowed me to be home with the children. (Yeah. That nearly gave me whiplash, too. No wonder moms are such volatile creatures! *wink*)
I could recall the angst I felt toward their angst. The days when I wanted to fall on the floor kicking and screaming, simply because they were. And it wasn't because they made it look so attractive. It's just that I felt like I was about to explode, and kicking and screaming seemed like a good release.
I resonated with her disdain for a young child's expression of disrespect - though I've found it doesn't change much when they're teenagers. *ahem*
And with sadness I identified with her comment that she often finds herself so angry and short-tempered that she doesn't even laugh when her kiddos do something cute.
Oh, those were some tough days.
Then, yesterday morning during my quiet time, I was reminded again of another years-ago struggle.
When I longed, even ached, for quiet time alone with God. When I simply wished for an uninterrupted opportunity to read my Bible and pray. When I would have loved to not have to tip-toe down the stairs, fearing that one creak in the floor would invite a trio of "helpers" - who would do anything but help.
OK, let's be honest. At the time I just wanted to be ALONE. If God were limited in His ability to be all places at all times, I probably would have been content for Him to rock the babies in the other room while I decompressed. Alone.

And the crazy thing?
I found myself enjoying the memories.
That is, I found myself reflecting on God's faithfulness to see me through those moments days years, and I recognized the value of what HE did in me through the struggles. God led me to consider His wisdom and power and attention to detail, and He showed me once again that He hasn't wasted a single trial which I have endured. Rather, He has used all of them - - to shape my character, or grow my faith, or enrich my understanding of what a good, good Father HE IS.
And so I can say - though the times were difficult - they are so worth remembering, for the sake of giving glory to God.

Are you in the middle of a struggle right now? May you be encouraged to know, God has not forgotten you. In fact, He is in the process of doing something beautiful.


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