When Wheels are like Wings

Well, poo.

I have this great picture of Matthew posing by his new (to him!) car, and for some reason my "server" is rejecting it every time I try to load it into this post. Not very good service if you ask me! *ahem*
I mean, I'm sure it isn't operator error.

Anyway, Matthew looks cute nice too stinkin' grown up next to his new car.
Or maybe that's just the way my mother-eyes see it.

That is, in many ways I still see him like this:

My little guy who follows his big brother around, drinking from the sprinkler, doing whatever he does.

But, alas, Matthew has ventured out on his own. Negotiated the financing with Dad, searched for the car he wanted, tested it out, talked it over, and made the decision.
He drove us to dinner Saturday night, drove himself to Meijer Sunday afternoon (To get air fresheners - because the previous owner smoked. And a snow brush. Gotta have a snow brush!), made his own way to school Monday morning, and went off to work Monday afternoon without needing to ask if he could use my van. He seems to be very much enjoying this new level of independence.

And it's moments like this - when a mom watches her youngest child driving off into the sunset (OK. There's no sunset right now. It's cloudy and gray and looks rather dreary outside. But that just isn't poetic!) that she realizes, sometimes wheels act an awful lot like wings...
*****************************************************************************************************
Well, how about that? I decided to try once more. I prayed, Please God???
And the picture loaded. *grin*

I'm a Luddite

Stop the Ride. I Want to get OFF!

Whew!

I'm a bit dizzy. Feel like I've been on some kind of roller coaster.
One minute I'm up.
And the next I'm down.
All is well.
And woe is me!
Yesterday it seemed to be going full-throttle.
I started off the day in prayer. And I started off the prayer time with praise - going through the alphabet and praising God for His attributes. HE is All-Knowing, BIG, Compassionate, Divine, Excellent, Faithful, Gracious... I delighted in dwelling on God's goodness and power and amazing love. I prayed for the many people and circumstances God has put on my heart, and I thanked Him for knowing what to do in each circumstance. It was a simply glorious time!
As the morning went on, I found myself reading articles and opinions of the political sort. Some people expressing relief and others disdain. There was grumbling and arguing. And I began entertaining thoughts and arguments in my own head about what is good and what is bad, what is fair and what is unjust. Part of me wanted to roll out my case for all to see, and another part of me said it would be foolish to do so and would just contribute to the chaos. So I kept silent on the outside, but inside I entertained thoughts of concern for the future of our world.
Thankfully, my morning also included the need to work on Precepts homework - which got me back to focusing on God. I studied about His desire to work in us and our role in obeying. I was reminded of God's holiness and perfection, and His Spirit inspired me to seek Him. Annnnnd, eventually I had to go and run some errands.
My return home meant a return to chores. As I was folding sheets and towels and putting them away, I noticed my spirit starting to grumble again. When the boys find their towels hung nicely on the rack like this, do they realize I have washed and replaced the towels? Are they thankful? Do they even care??? And what about Brian? Does he notice the clean sheets and towels? Every week? Right on schedule? Without any prompting or requesting? What about dinner.every.night? And all the other things I do around here all the time without being asked? Does anyone really appreciate me???
(I'm not even kidding. I honestly went through this monologue in my head. *blushing*)
Then I had to sit down and ask myself what was going on. Why was I all over the place like this? How could I be praising one moment and grumbling the next? What was happening to me???

God, in His goodness, wasted no time answering my questions. Because as I thought it through I could see: Every time I was "up" I was looking at HIM. And every time I was "down" I was looking at me.
I could sense His Spirit nudging mine and saying, This isn't a new lesson, is it, dear one?
And as I cozied up in His embrace my heart answered, No. It isn't. I'm getting off the roller coaster now.

Where is your focus today???

Ya Think?

Have you ever had (what you thought was) a really good idea?

A plan so inspired, you assumed it must have come directly from heaven?

But when you tried to put it into motion - even prayed that God would work out the details -
everything.just.stalled?

No?
Really???
Well, aren't you special.
Let me tell you what it's like. *wink*

A few weeks ago I started a new Bible study with my Precepts class, and as soon as we were underway I was super excited about it. I mean, I can't help myself. I love the Word of God, and every time I start studying it inductively and God starts speaking to my heart and His Spirit starts changing me, well I just get hyped and I want EVERYONE to study it with me! Anyway, as we were getting into Philippians I immediately thought of someone with whom I would like to go through the book one-on-one. Oh, to see this young woman learn about having joy in Jesus in all circumstances!
Yes, I thought, this will be wonderful!
My initial invitation to do the study was met with, well, uh, joy. But in subsequent days the enthusiasm and intention to follow through seem to have been lost. (And not from my side of the equation.)
I have attempted following up with the idea of doing the study together, but when my communication is left without response I tend to interpret the message to be, "I'm not interested anymore." And I don't want to push this young woman away, so I let it go for now.
Then, two of my Precepts friends asked me about the situation and as I was filling them in I also told them about recent thoughts which have come to my realization. That is, as we have gotten deeper into the study we have uncovered beautiful Truth - but it is hard stuff, and I am not sure this young woman is at a place in her life where she would be able to receive it as beautiful. God has encouraged me greatly through the gems He has shown. But I am not certain my young friend's heart is in the same place as mine. I fear the difficult lessons which I find to be wonderful would somehow cause her to want to distance herself from Him.
In short, I think she might not be ready for this brand of meat yet.
And as I was talking with my friends about these thoughts it occurred to me, Gee. Maybe God knows her heart. Perhaps He knows she isn't ready for this study just yet. It might be this really good idea was mine, not HIS. I suppose HE could be the One stalling my plans. Maybe, just maybe, God is perfectly in control of the details after all!

Ya think???

Harpagmos

Please, Take the Time NOW

Last week I told you about my regret in assuming I would have time to visit with a dear friend. Well, the same day I took our appointment for granted, I also speculated that I'd have time to visit with another dear lady when I went back to Edgewood in February to do church. She wanted to tell me about something that day but I was on my way out the door - and she "didn't want to keep me." I hugged her and said, "Next month I'll come early so we'll have time to talk, OK?"
Well, next month when I go back to lead the church service, I will have attended this dear woman's memorial service the day before.
Yes.
She passed away this week.
And it's crazy. Because she seemed perfectly fine when I saw her earlier this month.
But, again, I am reminded - We don't own tomorrow.

Oh, I know. We all have things to do. Busy schedules pulling us this way and that. But I cannot imagine I didn't have 10 minutes to spare to listen to a story that Sunday. (Which likely would have turned into 15, or 20, or 25 minutes. But, so what???)
I am realizing that relationships are so much more important than calendars. Life is uncertain. And the only moment we truly have is the one we're in right NOW. While some things can't be put off, most of them can wait. So let us resolve to take 10 minutes to listen. (Or 15, or 20...)
I believe it will be time well spent.

How to Help Moms in the Grocery Store

Have you ever been to a grocery store?
During any of your visits, have you ever observed a mom shopping with her young children?
Ever seen her scrambling to keep them in line?
Or frustrated, because she's failing?
Maybe you've been that mom?
Taking for granted that you answered "yes" to the first four questions, have you ever reached out and tried to give that mom a hand?

Monday when I was shopping for our weekly groceries I came across one such mom and her son in the meat department. I'm guessing Little Man had brought along a new toy. It looked kinda like this:

And he was using it to touch just about every.thing.
I could tell the mother was tiring of Little Man's propensity to pick items up with his grabbing toy. In fact, even if I hadn't seen her with my eyes, I would have been able to assess her emotional state by the weariness I heard in her voice.
From an outsider's view, I didn't think Little Man was causing any harm. But I could so relate to that mother. I knew she was feeling like the entire store was watching her, judging how well she could, or couldn't, control her son's behavior. Been there. Done that. Don't wanna go back!
And so, in an effort to let her know that Little Man's behavior wasn't bothering her fellow shoppers I leaned toward her and said, "Excuse me. I could use some help reaching something. Do you think your son could assist me?" When she got Little Man's attention and he came toward me I feigned being unable to reach a roll of sausage, and asked if he would please help me.
Oh, if you could have seen the pride in his face as he maneuvered that grabbing tool over the sausage, picked it up, and successfully delivered it right into my hand. It was a precious sight.
I then thanked Little Man profusely, gave mom a wink, and carried on with my shopping.

Annnnnnd, my point?

I have been grocery shopping without my children for about 12 or 13 years now. And I still haven't forgotten how difficult some of those trips were! As a mom who's been there I am prone to notice other moms who are there right now, and my heart goes out to them. But I don't think it's enough for just my heart to go out. Moms need tangible support. So my habit has become to watch for moments like the one I saw Monday, and to reach out in word or deed to give that mom encouragement.
Maybe it's a knowing smile and a whispered, "Hang in there!" Sometimes I talk to the kids and compliment them for being a good helper in the store. Occasionally, I get to do something fun like I did with Little Man.
The point is, all moms need encouragement - and maybe especially so when they're grocery shopping with the kiddos.
So, for the love of humanity and the well-being of future generations - when you're in the store please pay attention to the moms with children. If it looks and sounds like all is well, carry on. (Smiling at her and commenting about how adorable her children are would be acceptable, too.) But if she's getting frazzled and it seems as though angst is rising please extend a gentle gesture to let her know she isn't alone, and you aren't thinking poorly of her.
Your kindness will go a long way.
For her and the kids!

But GOD

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

~Psalm 30:11-12

Last week, God used someone else's tragedy to open my eyes.
This week - as the tragedy became greater - HE is using it to give me hope and remind me of HIS glory.

What began as a story about a family of four in an auto accident - with one family member killed and another in the hospital - has become an 11-year-old little girl left in a world without her big sister, her father, AND her mother. So many of us have been praying and asking God for a miracle while watching the heart-wrenching scenario unfold. And now we are left with what would appear to be a tale which cannot possibly have a "happily-ever-after".

But GOD.

That is, perhaps there would be no possibility of a "happily-ever-after" if God were not in the picture.
But, HE IS.
As I sat with the news of the mother's death and the knowledge that a sweet little girl had lost her entire family over the course of nine days, I was reminded that our prayers are not wasted. A faithful saint confided that she believes God has a plan for this little girl - that He is going to do a miracle as He writes the story of the rest of her life. And as I bowed my head in prayer for this precious child - asking God to save her, and redeem this situation, and use it for His glory and the expansion of His kingdom - I received a text from a friend who is also praying, which reminded me that God can use this story to inspire many people in years to come.
Suddenly I was transported from a place of feeling distressed and forlorn to a position of worship before a God who turns wailing into dancing. Who replaces sackcloth with garments of joy.
Ah, this story has not ended with a lonely little girl. She has extended family who all know the Lord, and I believe He will use them as He continues to write her story. As I prayed for her, I envisioned a grown woman with an amazing testimony. In my mind's eye I could see her on a platform sharing the tragedy she endured at the age of 11, and telling of the redemption she experienced at the hand of God. My heart delighted at the thought of how many, many people God will reach through her testimony of suffering and enduring faith.
Because that's what God does.
It's how He works.
The God who gives beauty for ashes, who turns imprisonment into evangelism opportunities, who delivers His faithful servants from giants and lions and fires, who conquers the sin and death of all mankind through the life and death of One - that God will not allow our suffering to be wasted.
Maybe today you find yourself in shock because of hardships which have come upon you. Perhaps calamity has struck without warning or mercy, and you're on the edge of despair. Or maybe you are a witness to another person's tragedy, and feelings of hopelessness are surrounding you - even though the struggle belongs to someone else.
If we were alone in the adversity, if there were no purpose in our pain, if redemption was not an option, despondency would have to be our response.
But GOD.
Hold onto HIM!!!

How To Play With Your Teenager

I think most mothers of teenagers will agree with me when I say that "play time" with teens is quite limited.
That is, I am no longer the go-to for entertainment. Mommy, will you read me a story? Watch this movie with me! Mommy, I just want you to hold me. Can we play Candyland? (I specifically remember wanting to run away in some of those moments...)
And now I find myself ecstatic when my kids "invite" me to play along with them.
Anyway - back to my point. I don't have a lot of play time with my nearly-grown-up kiddos.
Which is why I secretly don't really mind that Matthew never gets up with his alarm in the morning.
The kid is a heavy sleeper!
Because that means I always get to go in and play with wake him up.

The regular morning routine is this:
6:30 - Matthew's alarm and my alarm go off. I hit snooze; Matthew doesn't budge.
6:39 - My alarm sounds again. If Matthew hasn't gotten up (which is the typical behavior) I groan, get up, and go across the hall to play.
6:40-6:45 - I open the door, turn on the light, and announce to Matthew that it's his lucky day, because he gets to go to school. (Or, if the timing was right, and I just heard the "Clean Joke of the Day" on the radio - I tell Matthew the joke. So he gets a chance to groan. *wink*) I then proceed to ask Matthew if he's getting up on his own that day, or if he needs my assistance. Note: He NEVER gets up on his own! So I walk over to his bed and either grab the blankets and pull them off, or skip the blanket step and go right to poking and tickling. Matthew swats his arms at me, calling out, "Stop it! Stop it!" and I dodge. Then I go in for more poking and tickling, and he keeps flailing his arms. Sometimes he gets me good, but most of the time I'm quick enough to get out of the way. And occasionally, if I am not convinced he's awake enough, I pull him right out of bed so he drops on the floor.
By this time, I am confident that he's awake so I go back to lay down for a few more minutes. Always listening of course, to make sure he gets up. Now and then I have to go back for a repeat performance.

One morning as Brian was observing this routine he commented something about Matthew depending on me for his wake-up call. And hinted at the fact that I could just not go in - thereby making Matthew take responsibility for himself. While I could see his point I conceded the fact that I like going in to get Matthew up each morning, because it is a rare time when the two of us laugh and play together. Besides, I said, the reason I hit snooze every day is to give Matthew a nine-minute opportunity to get up on his own.
Brian got my point.

The thing which absolutely touched my heart was the day Matthew was calling out for me to "Stop it! Stop it!" and I said, "You know, if you just got up on your own I wouldn't come in here and torture you every morning." And he responded by smiling and saying, "Yeah. But this is when we have fun!"
And at that moment I knew, my teenager still likes playing with me.

Time for Verse 2

I Don't Have an Appointment Today

When I left my place of employment on January 14, 2015, I did so with the promise that I would continue to help a very precious lady as often as I was able. Because of company policy changes, she could no longer be driven to her quarterly eye-doctor appointments and she was very concerned about how she would get to them. I told her, "You call me. I'll drive you to your appointments."
She did.
And, so did I.
I loved the days I took D to her doctor appointments. Her smile, her charm, and the fact that she never failed to tell me how much she loved my grandma always lifted my heart.
Besides, I enjoyed getting caught up on how my old friends were doing at Edgewood.
D kept me up to date on everyone.

The first of January found me visiting Edgewood, again, because I was privileged to bring the message for their afternoon church service. And, of course, I also stopped in to say Hi to my dear friend, D. She was surrounded by her family and smiled as we hugged. I didn't stay long, because I had to get out for church. Besides, we had an appointment coming up and I would catch up with her then.
Today was the day for that appointment.
But the appointment was cancelled. Because D passed away the day after I popped in to say, Hi.

Oh, how precious and fragile our lives really are.
Had I known that Sunday was her last...I surely would have lingered.
If only I'd been aware...
If I'd realized...
If...
Have you uttered those statements, too?
Indeed, tomorrow is not a guarantee. For any of us! And so I resolve to stop taking it for granted. I will ask the LORD to slow me down, to help me savor the present moment, and to lead me leisurely through my days. Because I don't know when my next appointment might get cancelled.

Cold Water Isn't Such a Big Deal

So, Saturday morning I stood outside my shower for longer than usual.
It always takes a while for the hot water to make it to my bathroom, so waiting is not out of the ordinary. But as time passed I got tired of the delay and just hopped in - knowing it would warm up, eventually.
Except, it didn't.
Rather, it got colder.
As in, I only had the water on to get wet and rinse. No way was I going to STAND under that cold water. BRRRRR!
Later that morning as I was complaining to telling Brian about my shower, I learned that his had only been lukewarm. And Matthew piped up that his was also cold.
Hmmmmmm. Problem with the water heater?
Brian checked it out and re-lit the pilot light, figuring he would get to replacing the thermocouple Sunday. And for a little while we had warm water again.

As this was all going down, and the boys were none too happy about the prospect of a less-than-hot shower Sunday morning, I tried to help them with their perspective. I said, "Imagine how thankful Muthiani would be to have a house with a shower in it - even if the water wasn't hot!" (Muthiani is a little boy in Kenya whom we sponsor through Compassion International.) I continued unsuccessfully offering bits of wisdom to improve their mindsets - but, honestly? I was also not looking forward to my shower the next morning.
In fact, when Sunday morning came around and I turned on the shower (and waited) with no sign of even lukewarm water - I changed my plans. Washing up and shampooing my hair in the sink would have to suffice. It was entirely too cold of a day to stand in a cold shower. Besides, Brian would get to replacing the thermocouple in the afternoon - and all would be well again.
Except, when the thought-it-was-broken part was replaced, the problem wasn't fixed. And we were back at square-one. Brian, feeling defeated. And both of us disappointed that we were going to have to hire a professional to come in and fix the trouble. Because we're super cheap and we prefer to do our own work when possible.
Annnnnd, the boys. They were not happy, either.

Monday morning found me with a plastic tub and a kettle of boiling water heading into my bathroom. I made a mixture of boiling and cold water to suit myself and stood in the shower doing my best to quickly shave my legs and wash up. All the while aware - while the water was warm, my wet skin left me feeling rather chilled. After drying my body I knelt on the floor, leaned into the shower stall, and washed my hair with what was left of the warm water. Y'all, my posture was neither becoming nor comfortable. Somehow, I didn't think even Muthiani would be happy with this set-up.
But I got the job done, and finished getting ready.

Upon sitting down to eat my breakfast - while silently congratulating myself for making it through my troublesome morning without complaint - I opened my computer to check in with Facebook. It was on my church's prayer page that I read about a family who'd been in an auto accident Saturday. One daughter was killed, the mother is in a coma, the other daughter has been traumatized by the event, and the family is not trusting in God.
I bowed my head to pray for them, and let it hang a little longer as I thought, So the water's cold. At least the house is warm. And I have warm clothes to wear. So, we have to call a plumber. Thank God we have the money to pay for it. My kids are well, I am healthy, and I know the God of the universe loves me. How can I possibly be grumble about my circumstance? I don't even know what it's like to experience trouble!

Perspective checked?
Check!

My Help

Soooooo BIG!

Have you ever played Soooooo big with a baby?
You know, when you take their hands in yours and say, "How big is 'Baby'?" Then you lift their arms up over their head and sing, "Sooooooo big!" And then you both explode in giggles.
I love that game!

Well, this week - between I'm Asking, my new verse, my daughter's friend, my church's Facebook prayer group, my Life Together group, my Precept group, and a praying friend who faithfully sends me requests - I have sort of felt like I'm playing Soooooo big with God.
That is, Wednesday evening as I was praying with a heart full of burdens I found myself asking, How big is God? How can He possibly keep track of all these needs? How is it that He doesn't forget, never overlooks, and always knows what to do? How big is HE??? Then with a smile in my heart, and all the faith HE has placed in me I proclaimed, God is soooooo BIG!!!
Do you know that Truth, my friend?
Can you fathom in your mind how incredibly BIG our God is?
Honestly, His BIG-ness is too much for me to grasp.
I do not understand how He sees and knows and does all things.
Perfectly.
I can't explain how God can tend to the details in my life and yours, while simultaneously holding the rest of the universe together in perfect balance.
I.don't.get.it.
But I believe it. Because I have seen Him move and I have experienced His touch. God always does what is right - right on time.

So it is with confidence in His BIG-ness and His ability to do all things that I ask. That I lay these many, many needs before Him - and trust Him to act.
Because God is soooooo BIG!!!

LOVE Prays

There is a young woman - to whom I did not give birth - but who I consider practically a daughter.
She has been my daughter's best friend, and virtually part of our family, for many years. And my surrogate mother's heart is aching for her right now, because of her struggle.
Thus, I am skipping the time I would normally spend blogging today, so I can pray for her instead.
Because that's what LOVE would do.

I would love for you to join me in prayer.
God knows the details. Thanks!

Same Plan, Different Psalm

God is our refuge and strength;
an ever-present help in trouble.

~Psalm 46:1

Several years ago (I think it was 2010?) a friend and I memorized Psalm 139. We did it by learning one verse on the 1st and 15th of every month, and meditating on that verse during the days in between.
And, wow! Was that ever a blessed experience for me.
God continues to speak to my heart the encouragement He brought to me seven years ago.
It is a beautiful thing.

Annnnd, with the beginning of a new year and the desire to be molded and transformed more into image of Jesus - I have decided to do it again. Except, this time I am going to go through Psalm 46.
If my math is correct, this adventure will take me through the middle of June.
But I trust the blessing will take me through the end of my days.
I share this information with you to let you know - I will likely be doing a lot of posting about Psalm 46 over the next five and a half months. And I share this information with you also - to invite you to join me on this journey. God has given us His Word for our benefit and so that we might know Him and love Him more. While I am eager to share with you the ways He speaks to me through Psalm 46, I would love it even more if you were able to experience it for yourself. So we could share in it together.
So, what do you say?
Are you in???

I'm Asking