Man's Best Friend

I had to do a double-take yesterday when I saw this scene.

I mean, Mindy is a devoted and loving dog. She adores her big brother.
But this chin-on-the-chair thing? I hadn't seen that behavior before.
I wondered what Josh was doing which was so interesting to her, that she got sooooo close.
Then I looked a little closer and I saw a sandwich in Josh's right hand.
Ahhh, yes. Then I understood.
She was interested in the food, not the phone.
So I did a little sneaking around to capture the moment in a picture, and now I cannot help but chuckle every time I look at it. Oh, how that little dog depends on her brother for snacks and walks and love and stuff. They're quite a pair!

You're Worth It

Tulip Time

So I went to Holland yesterday.
Holland, MICHIGAN, that is!
In honor of Tulip Time.

Wanna see???

I captured Elizabeth and Phil in this picture, too. *grin*

The trip to Holland was another example of things not going according to original plans, while God worked it all out in spite of me. I love, LOVE how HE does that!
Enjoying the beauty of His creativity was a bonus.

Once Upon a Time

I don't very often think of things I did five years ago.
Honestly, I hardly remember half the things I did last week!
But yesterday had me remembering something I did in 2013 (Or maybe it was in 2012. Yeah, it probably was. Er, I'm not entirely sure.) and delighting in the fact that God never forgets.

That is, I received an email from someone I do not know - with this picture attached:

The writer of the email had seen this post and was encouraged by the devotion. God used it to speak to her heart, and the fact that she took whatever time was necessary to track me down and send me an email spoke to my heart, as well.
The thing is, I cannot recall the last time I thought about that devotion. Like - it's probably been years. Yet, yesterday somebody picked up her Bible and read those words which I penned several years ago. And God spoke to her - so much so that she posted the devotion on Facebook for anyone to see. And her friend saw it - and God spoke to her heart, too.
No matter that I'd virtually forgotten I had ever written those words.
God hasn't forgotten, and He isn't finished speaking through them.

So I sat at the table, my computer opened in front of me, nearly in tears as I thanked God.
Thanked Him for carrying me through those really difficult years.
Thanked Him for the truths He has spoken to my heart and used to shape my life.
Thanked Him for the opportunity and ability to share those truths through the written word.
Thanked Him for knowing what we need - when we need it - and for delivering it at just the right time.
Indeed. Our God is good.
And I want to be His instrument!

The Motivation Behind Snuffleupagus?

Do you remember Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street?
Big and bulky.
Always a little bit sad and melancholy, as I recall.
But something about him made me like that big ol' wooly mammoth-ish creature.
And yesterday, something made me think about Snuffleupagus for the first time in a looooong time.
That is, I was outside spreading mulch.
Nah, that sounds too easy.
The truth is we ordered a few yards of mulch and it was delivered to our driveway. In one great big heap. And the non-ease with which we hence had to maneuver around the driveway motivated me to get started on spreading mulch.
So I got busy shoveling the (wet and heavy) mulch into the wheelbarrow, wheeling the (heavy) wheelbarrow to its destination, and dumping and spreading the (wet and heavy) bright-bark-goodness around my landscaping. (After, that is, I bent over and dug up weeds which were in the vacinity where I would be spreading the wet and heavy mulch.)
To say my back was aching would be an understatement.
To say I was feeling a little bit sad and melancholy as I looked at the big heap of mulch waiting to be shoveled and relocated would be quite accurate.
Perhaps the gloomy feelings I was having as I stared at the big and bulky heap of shredded red stuff is what caused me to see Snuffleupagus in it.
What do you think?
Can you see the resemblance?

Anyway, as I trudged through the chore of shoveling mulch into my wheelbarrow - tired of the work, feeling sorry for myself that I had to do it, yet intrigued by how much that big ol' pile looked like Snuffy - I decided this: Whoever came up with the idea of Snuffleupagus - his character, his look, and his outlook - must have been shoveling mulch when the idea came.

Now, if I can just get over seeing a smooshed Snuffleupagus every time I look around my yard. *wink*

My Girl Graduated

And this is why I didn't post a video devotion yesterday.
Was pretty busy this past weekend!

The Attentive Gardener

Ahhh, it has finally warmed up for good (I hope!!!) and I am enjoying getting outside and tending to the plants and flowers all around my house. I've been weeding and feeding and transplanting and weeding and raking and counting buds and weeding and pulling off dead stuff and searching for new life and weeding some more.
Two nights ago it rained, and yesterday as I walked around the house to look for weeds which needed to be pulled (And sprouting trees. Ugh! Those little helicopters from maple trees get everywhere!) anyway, as I was walking around the house I was so happy to see more growth appearing. The hostas are beginning to show their leaves. The flowers on the mertyl are blooming. Just about all the trees have buds. Even a climbing flowering vine-type-plant which I divided (and thought I might have killed because I cut the roots) is standing up and producing green leaves.
It seriously brought me so much delight to see how everything is growing. Further, the growth - and the anticipation of how beautiful it's all going to be - increased my desire to kneel down and bend over and get my fingers dirty by digging up weeds.
Because I want those plants to be as healthy and beautiful as possible.
I am looking foward to enjoying them all summer long. (Oh, yeah! Did I mention how well my new lilac bush is doing? I think it's going to produce some delicious smelling flowers this year!)

So, what's the point?
This isn't a garden blog...
The point is, as I was admiring my plants -so pleased with their progress - and as I was diligently searching out weeds and dead stuff which could ruin their beauty, I was reminded of two things.
One, Gardening 101 should be a required course for all seminary students. Because there are sooooooo many sermon illustrations waiting to be discovered in caring for plants.
And, two, God is an Attentive Gardener.
As I was tending my plants, God spoke to my heart and convinced me of this: The delight HE finds in watching me grow into the woman HE intends for me to be, and the care HE puts into weeding out sin in my life and pruning away the dead stuff and every other thing HE does to make me grow in beauty - far outweighs what I'm doing in my yard for my plants.
I thought of how intently HE must watch over me, over all of us(!), and I couldn't help but give thanks for His perfect care. For the weeding HE graciously and tirelessly performs in my heart, for the precise removal of dead things which would hamper my growth, for the nourishment HE provides through His Word and the growth HE spurs through His Spirit. Ahhhhh, Lord. Thank You!
The love, the tenderness, the time, the patience, the fullness of His care for us amazes me!

Come to think of it, perhaps Gardening 101 ought to be a required course for every new believer.
Oh, how HE has used it to inspire my faith and trust in Him!

I Guess I'm Nesting

What do you call it when you get the urge to clean your daughter's bathroom - because she's moving home in four days and the bathroom hasn't been cleaned (or used!) for months?
When you've gotten used to stains on the basement carpeting but now feel they must be cleaned? (Because your daughter is moving home in four days, and her room is in the basement.)
And the next thing you know you find yourself on your hands and knees scrubbing the shower, cleaning the toilet, washing the floor, and even scouring the grout between each tile. Then, before you can do anything about it - you're pretreating spots, assembling the carpet shampooer (Is that even a word?), and cleaning the basement carpeting.
Not to mention the fact that before all these shenanigans began you had lugged the vacuum out to the garage to thoroughly clean the van? Which you have meant to do for weeks, but only became motivated enough to actually do it because you knew in four days you were going to be loading all your daughters things into it and bringing her home.
The only way I can explain it, is this: I must be nesting again.
But, what gives? I mean, I didn't even get this crazy the first time I brought her home 22 years ago. Of course, the size of my belly at that time was prohibitive of things like getting on my hands and knees to scrub floors...

Ahhh, I'm looking forward to bringing my girl home. For one more last time ever.

I'll Never Do That Again

So, I gave Matthew his allowance yesterday.
And I'll never do that again.
Not because he has done some terrible thing and now I'm cutting him off. Rather, because I don't give Elizabeth or Josh allowance anymore, either. Haven't done that since they graduated from high school. And next month - Matthew will be a high school graduate!
In fact, this marks not only the end to Matthew's allowance, but also the end to me giving allowance to anyone. Yeah. No kids anymore. (Officially, even, as Matthew turns 18 in a couple weeks.)
I had another last-ever in March, when I attended my last ever parent/teacher conference.
It won't be long until I have my last ever wake-up-at-6:30-and-listen-to-be-sure-Matthew's-up-for-school.
Now that I think about it, I'm sure I have passed my last ever sign-this-for-your-minor-child form.
And pretty soon I will never again have to keep track of school calendars and events and half-days and snow days and all that other stuff which fills the mind of a mother with school children.
Because my children have all grown up.
And things are changing around here.

But some things won't change.
No matter how old they get, how far they go, or how long they're gone I'm always going to wonder if they're safe, and eating well, and having everything they need.
Regardless of the number of days since they've become independent adults, I'm still going to view them as my babies and they'll continue to hold that place in my heart.
And even when they're well-adjusted, successful, productive adults I will continue praying for them - trusting God to care for them as adults, just like He did when they were children.
Yeah.
That'll never stop!

Last-Minute God

I Learned Something This Week

Wednesday night I went to the movies.
(That's part of the reason I didn't post anything yesterday. Instead of being home crafting a post, I was at the movie theater having my nerves tested. *ahem*)
That is to say, my guys wanted to see "A Quiet Place" (Er, two of the three wanted to see it. Three went along for company. Like I did.) so even though I didn't know what it was about - and not expecting to learn anything about family dynamics - I went to the show.

And, not being one who likes to spoil surprises, I am not going to tell you about the movie. But I will tell you the amazing lesson I learned about families and conflict and self-control:
If you have ever described yourself as an irritable mother, if you find yourself prone to yelling at your offspring when they misbehave or make messes or - say - start a fire in the house because of carelessness, if not seeing eye-to-eye with a family member tends to lead to you raising your voices with one another, if disobedience and defiance from the children in your family result in angry outbursts from the parents in your family, if you've ever wondered how to keep your kids quiet for more than 30 seconds, or if stepping on a two-inch nail with bare feet (while you're in labor, walking down stairs, scared for your life, and no one is around to help you) makes you feel like releasing an out-right blood-curdling scream, if any of that ever happens?
Just imagine there are weird aliens invading the land who will eat you if you make a single peep, and I'm telling you - an unbelievable* capacity to keep quiet will take over.

So there you have it, a life lesson for every family.
Have a great weekend. And let me know if you see any good movies!

*Yes, I chose this word very intentionally. LOL!

Parenting Young Adults

So, Brian and I sat alone at the dinner table last night - a scene which is occurring more frequently these days - contemplating our role as parents of young adults.
Do you remember when your children were little and you felt completely responsible for their lives?
How about the days when they came to you with important questions, and you wondered if you were giving the correct answers? (You know, like, "Why is the sky blue?")
When it broke your heart to see them fall, because you didn't want them to be hurt?
When their tears brought on your own?
Maybe you're in the midst of those days right now.
Let me tell you, as a mother of 22, 20, and (almost)18 - not a lot changes!

Brian and I sat at the table discussing how our parents interacted with us when we were that age, and questioned - should we follow their example? Or take a different route? We deliberated life decisions each child, er, young adult is making and wondered how much input we should give. There were practical behaviors to be debated and common actions to consider. We weighed the pros and cons of offering advice, or letting them figure things out on their own.
And we frequently came back to the same conclusion:
I don't know.
See? The thing is, just like when they were little we feel responsible for their lives. Sometimes they still ask important questions (Albeit, more significant than why the sky is blue.) and we aren't sure of the correct answer. We still don't want to see them fall, because they're our kids! And we don't want them to be hurt. And the tears? Yeah. Same effect these days as then!
Still, we know from personal experience that we can't give them life experience by telling or showing or relating or cajoling or, or, any other way. Some things they've got to do on their own. And they might fall. And there might be tears. And we might want to step in and kiss the boo-boo and make it all better. But they aren't little children anymore, and we've got to learn how to parent adults.
Thankfully, we aren't in this alone.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

James 1:5

*******************************************************************************************
I remember hearing a quote when I was in the midst of late-night feedings, dirty diapers, temper tantrums and all the throes of having young children.
It went something like this: Parenting isn't for sissies.
Yeah. Like I said above. Not a lot changes!

When Hard Things are Good Things

I don't really like saying hard things.
Do you?

I really don't like hearing hard things.
And I'm guessing you're in agreement with me on that point as well.

But sometimes those actions are necessary.
Because, let's face it: we can be blind to our own failings and offenses.
We can be going through life intending to do the best we can, believing we're doing alright, completely unaware that we're crossing a line.
And if we're completely unaware of our transgression, what are we to do?
How can we make a change?
How can we know a change needs to be made?
Unless someone who sees what we're doing, someone who cares about us and wants what is best for us and those around us, someone who is willing to do the hard thing - to risk a moment of pain in exchange for a lifetime of peace, someone who is a true friend - tells us.

I was on the "hearing" side of some hard things recently, and it was, well, hard!
The words were delivered after the speakers had been in much prayer, and they were spoken with thoughtfulness and love. But it was hard. And I cried. And the ones who were delivering the message were concerned about me, sorry for the woundedness I was experiencing.
Even so, they shared their hearts with me. I knew they spoke truth, and I knew they spoke in love, so I listened. But it was still hard. Yet, just like the other hard times I have faced in my life, I know God has a good plan for this one as well.
Oh, I know it wasn't easy for them, but I am glad these friends of mine listened to and obeyed God's Spirit as He prompted them to speak truth to me.
I am so thankful for friends like that in my life.

Do you have a friend like this in your life? Are you willing to be one?

When HE Doesn't Change the Circumstance

Are We Done Yet?

So yesterday I was downstairs sorting laundry and, as I turned the corner to take the first load into the laundry room that contains the washer and dryer, I nearly stepped into a puddle Mindy left behind.
(Not sure if she's getting more stealthy or just broadeneing her range. Usually when she pees on the carpet she does it in plain sight and I notice it as soon as I enter the basement. This one came as a surprise.
*And when I say surprise, I don't mean a happy surprise. Grr.*)
I groaned and went to get my cleaning supplies - to take care of her mess before I continued with my original chore.
And, yes, I glared at the dog each time I passed her. I mentioned how annoyed I get with her messes. And I might have even engaged in a bit of a stare-down with her at one point, hoping to drive home the message that I really wish she would stop peeing in the basement.
I admit. I may be giving her too much credit, acting as if she understands English and can interpret non-verbal communication.
Annnnd, in a short while everything was done and I thought that was the end of it.

Silly me.

I should have remembered God never wastes an opportunity to speak to my heart.
Because as I sat at the breakfast table - with Mindy in view - I was sort of still grumbling to myself when I had the sense that I just felt God nudge me.
So, you get tired of taking care of Mindy's accidents, do you? You think she ought to know better by now, do you? You're ready to be done with forgiving her, are you?
Gulp.
Suddenly I knew where He was going with the line of questioning. I realized God is sooooooo much more patient with me than I need to be with Mindy. I became aware once again of His grace which covers me even though I know better. And I could not deny the fact that He forgives me more times that I can count. So I smiled at His methods of teaching me, and I bowed my head and humbly thanked my Father for His grace and mercy toward me.

Then I had a thought. OK, God. Have I learned my lesson? Have I done a good job? Huh? Have I? Because if I've learned what You wanted me to learn, maybe You could get Mindy to stop peeing on the carpet???
I'm not sure, but as soon as I finished that thought, I might have noticed a slight rumble in the heavens as God shook His head and sighed, Oh, Karen. You're missing the point.

*blush*
I'm thankful He's so patient with me.

Touched by an Angel

Awwww, she's gone and done it again.

My sweet Angel has absolutley blessed my heart!

That is, yesterday I attended her Home-going celebration and I learned so much more about this precious woman of God than I could possibly have known from our Tuesday afternoons together.
I heard about a lifetime of faithfulness which started when she accepted Jesus as a young girl, and continued as she followed Him all the days of her life.
I heard about Angel calling out "Preach it!" during sermons, getting so excited about the reading of the Word of God that her whole body shook, and dancing in and out of her seat at church.
Her grandchildren told stories of driving hours and hours to visit her, the unconditional love she poured out on them - and the prayers she prayed over them before they left. (Including, Lord, don't let this boy drive too fast while he's going home.)
There was a man who looked to be in his 70s who told about Angel taking in his family and caring for them when he was making bad life decisions. He told how God used her and - loved through her - to change their lives.
There was the woman who told about never being able to leave Angel's house with a negative attitude. Because no matter what this woman was feeling, no matter what she said - Angel was always able to find the positive side of the situation and inspired her to grab onto it.
But I think my favorite testimony of all came from a young boy about the age of 10. One of Angel's great-grandsons. He wept as he told of the days when he would visit his grandma after school, when he would come there sad - but she would cheer him up. Sometimes, he said, when he was 5, or 6, or 7 - his grandpa would tell him not to go into Angel's bedroom and disturb her. But when Grandpa turned his back, Great-grandson would sneak into Angel's room, and she would talk to him. She would love him. And she always sais it was OK for him to "disturb" her. I sat in the church listening to this boy - on the verge of tears, myself - saying, "Oh, baby. Sweet baby," wanting to wrap him in my own arms and love him some more for Angel.
But more than any other feelings, I sat in that church full of thanksgiving to God for the work He has done - and the legacy which continues - through Angel.
And I decided, when I grow up? I want to be just like her!!!

More of HIM

HIS Ways, Not Mine

Many are the plans in a (wo)man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19:21

Ahhh, sometimes I have to laugh at myself and the plans I make.
And sometimes I just laugh at myself - regardless of my plans. *wink*

See, Tuesday I spoke for a group of moms, and as I was wrapping up I invited them to visit my blog - as a way of keeping in touch and keeping encouraged. I *might* have said something like, "I try to post something every day Monday through Friday, to encourage and lift up."
And that really is my goal.
But obviously, it doesn't always happen.
Like this week, when Tuesday's and Wednesday's activities didn't allow me time to write. And I sit here laughing at the irony of telling a group of women, "I usually post daily on my blog" - the day before I'm going to be unable to post for two days in a row.
Yes. I do believe God enjoys a sense of humor.
(His own, that is. I am not sure He's so impressed with mine. Haha.)
So, there's that.
I make plans sometimes, and God has a different idea - and we go with His. Because I am not about to argue with Him. And His plans are always better, anyway.

Yeah. There's that. And there's also this.
The other side of the HIS ways, not mine equation.
A long time ago God called me to a speaking ministry, and I love it. Love, LOVE it!
In fact, there is nothing I love more than talking about Jesus. (I mean, I love God more than talking about Him, and I love worshipping Him more than talking about Him. But, you get my point, right? My spirit soars when I get to talk to women about my Jesus!)
OK. But there is one part of this speaking thing about which I don't get particularly excited. That is, the "marketing". The need to find women's ministries and introduce myself to them and let them know about what I do, blah, blah, blah. But it's necessary. I get that. And so I do it.
A few times a year I spend days searching for churches, reading their websites to learn about their women's ministry, placing calls or sending emails to make contact with them, and praying, "OK, Lord. It's up to You. I've done what I can. Now I'm waiting on You. If You want me to minister to the women at this church somehow, I trust You to make the next move."
And, honestly?
It gets discouraging sometimes when months go by and not a single word comes from anyone.
But then moments like this week happen, when I get an email from someone at a church with whom I have not been in contact for nearly a year. In the email she says one of the women's ministry leaders asked her to contact me and the next thing I know I am scheduled to speak for their Christmas Tea in December. And I could swear I hear God speaking to my heart something like, Dear one, remember? We're going with MY ways, not yours. You said you would wait for Me. You said you would trust Me to move. (Yes, I know you didn't want to wait so long. But, remember, My timing is perfect.) I'm moving now. And I will continue to move. All you need to do, dear one, is be faithful and wait patiently.
Just be faithful and wait patiently, He says.
That's all.
OK, Lord, but I'm gonna need Your help!

Are you waiting for God to show you His ways? How's that going???

Sometimes, You Just Get Silent

I've said it before, and I still believe it's true.

I think the hardest phase of parenting is...
...the one you're in right now.
Because you've made it through the phases you've been through. And they didn't kill you.
You're pretty sure it's going to get better. Somehow. So you have hope for the future.
But the phase you're in right now? It's so hard!!!
Because it's the present.
And you're living it.
Right.now.

And, wow. Some of these present days are really tough.

Last week Brian and I had a good, albeit difficult, conversation with our 20-year-old son. (Actually, I didn't do much of the conversing. I was mostly biting my tongue and praying.) And I guess the "success" of that discourse threw me off, because I thought it meant we had reached a point of being able to talk things out rationally.
I figured we could now get past emotion and rely on reason to guide our interactions.
Apparently, I was mistaken.
Because yesterday that same son was really upset about something. He'd gone fishing all day Sunday and was uploading footage onto my computer yesterday to edit into an awesome video for his Youtube channel. In the process, he discovered that none of the video included audio. Something happened - and he didn't know what - which resulted in "my whole day being wasted!" So, Josh said. He was mad.
And pretty sad, too. I heard it in the tears that almost dripped from his voice.
So I went into problem-solving-mother-mode and I tried to suggest things which might make his outlook a little brighter. Cuz it really stunk seeing and hearing my boy so disappointed. I made my best effort at being both sensitive to his pain and realistically optomistic. The ideas I offered were - I thought - good ones. It's stuff I would have tried if I were in the same position. And it all seemed reasonable to me. If Josh could get past his emotion, I thought he would benefit from my opinions.
But, no.
My son was able to come up with a rejection for each proposal I made. Even when I tried to explain myself more clearly. He wasn't having any of it. And it seemed like we were about to start raising our voices with each other. Over a situation in which I was just trying to help!
So I got silent.
Because I didn't want to get into a shouting match while trying to help my son.
And as I sat in the silence I prayed for him, asking God to lift his heart. I thought of 101 encouraging words I'd like to say, scriptures I'd like to share, and pieces of advice I'd like to give. But I stayed silent. Because God wasn't nudging me to speak.
Only to pray.

For an instant, I longed for the days when I could simply pick Josh up and give him a kiss - and see all his troubles fade away. Because I wanted so much to ease his burden. But then I remembered those were also the days of car seats, and poopy diapers, and temper tantrums, and a bunch of other things I don't miss - and I decided to be thankful for today.
Yeah. Even though I've been doing this mom-thing for nearly 22 years (Tomorrow. Elizabeth turns 22 tomorrow!) it's still hard. Every day is a new situation and I'm learning as I go.
How thankful I am that when I don't know what to do I can just get silent - and pray!

HE Knows