Lovely Moments

As I was driving over to see Lovely yesterday, I noticed a moth clinging to the base of my windshield. I was on the highway, going 70 MPH, and that little guy was struggling to hold on so he wouldn't be swept away by the wind.
And I do mean struggling.
As in, I was nearly ready to pull off to the side of the road to let him fly away peacefully - because he made it look like staying safe was such a hard task.

Then I noticed what song was playing on the radio, and how perfectly it fit with the scene playing out before my eyes. So I grabbed my phone and recorded my insect-friend's journey - that I might share it with you. (I love that God speaks through every.little.thing!)
On the days when you're feeling like this little guy, when life seems to be dragging you through a 70 MPH wind, my friend - stop holding on, and just BE HELD.

P.S. I'm taking a vacation! Will be away from the blog for the rest of the month. See you in July! :)

When You Begin Your Day...

by asking the Holy Spirit to order your steps, and take you to the places HE wants you to go - to do the things HE wants you to do:
*You might find that your time is spent in ways you hadn't planned.
*Which may mean you haven't the time to devote to creating a blog post.
*Which is fine. Because you've trusted God to lead you.

May your day be filled with promptings of the Holy Spirit, leading you to the good works HE has prepared ahead of time for you to do.

HE Heard

Oh, how I love it when God shows Himself.

Monday morning I posted the video I had recorded Sunday night - about my need to trust God.
My knowledge that I could/should/wanted to trust Him, even though the circumstance is troubling.
In the recording of the video I prayed, asking God to give me the strength to do what I cannot do on my own. And even though I was "recording" a video to be posted here, my prayer was real. That is, I wasn't just saying words for the sake of a blog post. I was seeking the help of the Holy Spirit!
So, anyway I put a link to the blog post on Facebook and was eating my breakfast while perusing other Facebook postings when I came across these words written by a friend of mine:

It is going to be a wonderful day...Trust Him. Every detail of your life matters to Him. He will restore the years as He has promised!

I read them.
And I read them again.
And I thought, Are YOU talking to me???
And, yes, I read those words one more time.
I thought about the truth that every detail of my life does matter to God. That HE sees all, and knows all, and is able to do all things. Yes, HE is even able to mend broken relationships and restore what has gone missing. Our GOD can do all that!

I mean, just look at what HE did in the span of twelve hours.
I prayed and asked for His help. And HE heard.
His Spirit prompted a dear woman hundreds of miles away from me to type out a hope-filled message.
HE saw to it that those words would appear on my Facebook page, and HE gave me the grace to understand that HE was speaking to my heart - in response to what HE heard in the outpouring of that same heart the night before.
And that ministry of His Spirit to mine increased my ability to trust.

Oh, thank You, LORD, for hearing, and speaking, and growing my faith.
Thank You for what You're going to do in my circumstance.
Thank YOU!!!

Friend, HE hears you, too.

Thanks. I Think.

*groan*

"I am so stupid!" I complained.

And then my knight in shining armor asked, "What happened?"

So I explained that I had just typed out a message to send to a friend on Facebook and instead of hitting "enter" to send it, I inadvertently clicked on the "x" in the upper right corner. And a message popped up informing me I hadn't yet sent the message, and asking if I really wanted to leave the page. Annnnd, I clicked on "OK" without thinking through what I was doing.
The result?
The message was gone, and I was left groaning - and condemning myself for my stupidity.
"Oh," he said. And I looked at him with an invitation to keep talking.
"Well, I was going to argue with you about being stupid. But..."
We locked eyes, laughed, and said simultaneously, "That was stupid."

It's great when we can avoid arguments. *wink*

I Need To Make a Decision

Lovely Moments

Ahhhh, Lovely.
She is such a bright spot in my week.
And I thoroughly enjoy the hour-or-so we spend together each Thursday afternoon.
Yesterday when I arrived, Lovely was not in her apartment - so I went searching for her in the dining room, where I found her finishing her lunch. We chatted with her table mate over their last few bites, and then debated between going for a walk outside and chilling out in her apartment. Ultimately - the chilling out option took precedence, as we had to go back anyway to put her left-overs away. And by the time we got there, Lovely wanted to rest.
She keeps telling me not to get as old as she is. Says it's hard on the body!
So I opened her curtains to let the sun shine in, and we sat together to talk about dogs and kids and changing times and what life was like during the Depression. She told me many things which she has said before, and a couple of new memories, too. And I was reminded how precious it is to have a friend who is twice your age.

When I left Lovely, I went to Merry's to say, Hello, and share a hug.
I couldn't stay for a visit with Merry today, because I had another appointment.

That is, I needed to help someone else get to her appointment.

We currently have a house-guest staying with us (I'll call her Hopeful, because she is!) and she has been actively seeking a job. Hopeful has been busy applying for various positions and yesterday afternoon she had an interview. So after I visited Lovely and Merry, I drove Hopeful to her interview. As she got out of the van I said, "Knock 'em dead!" and she smiled as she responded, "Uh, I don't want them dead. I'd like them to employ me!" Good point.
Anyway, as she was interviewing I was praying - asking God to provide for her needs. Annnnd, when she got back into the van, Hopeful declared, "I nailed it!" She will find out within the next 48 hours if she got the job. But I know right now that God is faithful, and I trust He's doing a good thing in and for her.

And in writing it all out I realize - my life is full of lovely moments. Yes, there are hard times. Yes, I struggle frequently - with motherhood, and otherwise. But God shows me each day that there are lovely moments, and I am thankful.

How about you???

I Heard it Through the Grapevine Walls

In a perfect world, children and their parents would have completely open communication. Each would tell the other their secret dreams and aspirations. There would be no apathetic responses when one asks the other about their hopes for the future. No blank stares when questions like, So, what are you thinking about for life after high school? are posed.

But I don't live in a perfect world.

In my world, sometimes a momma has to resort to eavesdropping overhearing conversations to learn things about her offspring.
And when that happens?
This momma gets happy.

Such was the case last night.
Matthew was playing games online with some friends. He had on his headset and was carrying on a conversation when I walked past his room to say goodnight. And as I went into my own room I heard him saying, "Yeah, I signed up for Physics next year, even though I don't need another science credit. You know, just for LOLs."
*pause*
"Well, I figured I'm going to need to know that stuff for my career."
And I'm all, Wait a minute! Did those words really just come from my son? The same one who says, "I dunno," whenever I ask him about college 'n stuff???
And there arose in me a glimmer of hope that the guidance we're trying to give as parents and the prayers I'm offering to God on behalf of my son, may actually be producing something fruitful.

Thank You, God, for the glimmers!

Bless His Heart. He Tried!

Have I mentioned here that Brian recently bought a new (New to him, that is.) car?
Well, he did.
And since that day he's been spending a lot of time watching Youtube videos about changing the oil, and the transmission fluid, and the brake fluid, and just about everything else he can change on that car. He's like a little kid with a brand new toy.
So, this past weekend Brian was in the midst of another maintenance project when I noticed him going through my kitchen utensils and pulling out the baster. I had a bad feeling about what he was going to do with it. And moments later he approached me asking if it was a "good" baster.
"Well, it's the only one I have," I replied.
Brian wanted to know if he could use it for changing the brake fluid. You know, would that be OK with me. He'd, uh, wash it when he was finished.
I said I didn't care if he washed it, or not. Because if he was going to use it for car stuff, I was going to buy a new baster. I am not going to take a chance of feeding my family brake fluid for dinner.
He said, "So, it's OK for me to use it? You don't mind getting a new one? I mean, I wasn't sure if it was a Creative Memories baster."
Uh, he meant Pampered Chef.

And I chuckled, realizing a guy with his toys has trouble keeping track of a girl and hers.

Does the Bible Really Say That? Part 4

Does the Bible Really Say That? Part 3

Lovely Moments

Murphy and his annoying Law just might be the end of me.

I went to visit Lovely yesterday, and - as usual - we had lovely moments. We talked about many of the same things we usually discuss. Lovely laughed every time I told a joke, even though she's heard them all before. (Well, not ALL of them. There were a couple I'm sure I haven't told her before.) We even discovered another connection which makes our world smaller. That is, Lovely used to attend the church of which my aunt is a member. My aunt was over last weekend to help celebrate Matthew's 17th birthday and when I mentioned Lovely's real name, Aunt Sue said she thought Lovely used to go to Plymouth Congregational. Lovely and I have found several connections since meeting, and it was fun to confirm another.
When my time with Lovely came to an end, I went to visit another woman who lives in the same facility. This woman - I'll call her Merry, because she is! - used to live at Vista Springs when I worked there, and it has become my habit to spend time with her after my moments with Lovely. Anyway, Merry and I were talking - trying to solve all the worlds problems - when my phone rang.
It was Josh.
So I answered.
He got out of work earlier than expected and wanted me to come pick him up.
I explained that I was visiting a friend and would leave to pick him up "in about 10 minutes".
Only, you know how it is when you're visiting with a friend, right?
It was more like 15 or 20 minutes later that I finally said good-bye to Merry, and I could just picture Josh pacing at work. Waiting for me to get there. Soooooo, to say I wasn't paying close attention to my speed as I was driving would be quite accurate. Actually, to say I was aware that I *might* be going faster than usual would be completely true. But I was thinking about picking up my son - and the fact that I hadn't left Merry's when I told him I would leave.
So I was late.
And I hate making people wait for me.

Annnnnd, that's just about when I saw the police car in on-coming traffic.
I observed in my rear view mirror as he turned around.
I continued watching as he turned his lights on and off to get people to move over.
And then he got behind me.
Only, when I pulled to the side, he didn't pass me - as he'd been doing to all the others behind me.
Nope.
He pulled over, too.
Super nice police officer, he was. Asked me if I knew why he had stopped me. Yes. And did I know how fast I was going? Yes. (As soon as I saw him on the road I looked at my speedometer. I was going 45, in a 35 zone. Oops.)
Long story, shortened - he came back to the van with a ticket for me. Said, although I have an excellent driving record, he had to do something because I was going 10 over. And if he lets people "off" when they're doing 10 over, they probably aren't going to change their behavior. (It didn't help that they guy looked young enough to be my son. I felt like I was being lectured by a KID!) And I'm thinking, Yeah. But the reason I have such an excellent driving record is because I typically obey the speed limit. I don't do 45 in 35s! Except for this one day when I'm in a rush to pick up my son from work, because he got out earlier than expected - so I'm admittedly going faster than I usually do. And you just happen to be on the same road as me. Stupid Murphy, and your dumb Law!

It's been several hours since that incident occurred. And I'm still trying to determine if there was anything lovely about those moments.
The prognosis is not good.
But I did learn my lesson: Let 'em wait! *pouty face*

It Takes a Cyber-village

So, Monday evening as we're getting ready to sit down for dinner, Matthew was in a quasi-panic state. He couldn't find his car keys so he was searching the house - going through the trash, calling everyone into action. But I (being the wet blanket that I am, and not wanting the food to get cold) said it was time for dinner, and we could look for the keys later.
By the time we had finished eating I had completely forgotten about the lost keys. But not so, Matthew. He started looking in, around, and under everything in sight. And before he totally tore apart the house I suggested he go look in his car. I mean, I have been known to leave my keys in the ignition a time, or two, and figured it was worth a try.

Though he scoffed at the idea, he went out to look.

And when Matthew came inside and told me the keys were - in fact - in his car, I didn't understand why he didn't have a happier demeanor. Until he added the detail that...the car was locked.
Oh.
"Do you have a spare key?" I asked.
He didn't.
"Oh. OK."
So I suggested Matthew get a coat hanger, or something, and try to break in to his car.
But he's never done that before.
Didn't know how to do it.
(Me, neither!)
So I did my best thinking and said, "Youtube it. There's gotta be someone who has posted a video about unlocking your car without keys."
Annnnd, there was! So Matthew got a hanger and went out to give it a try.

Side note: When I was in college I was at a weekend camp when a fellow student locked her keys in her car. One of the cooks at the camp was a former car thief, so someone had him come out to her car and - he got it opened in seconds. Totally God redeeming this guy's past! Anyway, I figured with a little coaching Matthew could do the same thing.

I figured wrongly.
He got the hanger stuck in the door and was beside himself. Fortunately, I was able to wiggle it out. But although the hanger was free, the keys remained locked away. So Matthew and I went back inside, figuring it would be best for Brian to get home and try breaking in before we called a locksmith.
And I decided to also tap into my most reliable resource: Facebook!
I posted a simple plea for help:

Bummer! Matthew has locked his keys in his car.
Any local friends good at breaking into locked cars???

Among the helpful replies and suggestions was this one: You guys need AAA.
And I'm all, Whoa! I think we do have AAA.
Brian confirmed it, I got on the phone to call for roadside assistance, and within half an hour a very nice young man was in our driveway breaking into Matthew's car.
It was beautiful.
And I couldn't help but shake my head, and laugh a little, at the notion that we would have ended up calling and paying for a locksmith, had it not been for my Facebook friend's off-the-cuff comment.

And so, when it comes to meeting practical little needs - I will continue to post my queries on Facebook, for all my friends to see.
Because it really takes a cyber-village to keep this girl on track. *wink*

God IS Good

When Time Won't Stand Still

One week after my girl left for Colorado, moments after I completed a discussion monologue about how to take on adult-like responsibilities for oneself, the very day my baby turned 17 years old - a.k.a. yesterday - Josh gave me hope that all this growing up isn't really happening.
That is, Josh sold his Jeep several weeks ago and has yet to buy a replacement vehicle. Which means most days he is scheduled to work - I drive him in. Because I usually have places to go during the day for which I need to use my van. Most of the times I've driven him to work he has been opening - so nobody is there when we arrive.
But not so yesterday.
Co-workers saw me bringing him to work.
And as I dropped him off, Josh mumbled, "I don't like you bringing me to work. I feel like a kid."
And there - for just a moment - I looked at my physically-adult-but-developmentally-not-quite-there-yet son - who wants so much to be a man and do manly things, who is anxious to be able to have the freedoms of an adult yet doesn't seem eager to tackle the corresponding responsibilities - and thought, But you are, aren't you? Aren't you still my little boy?

This new phase of parenting is a tricky one. Trying to convince a man-child that he needs to listen and learn - because he really doesn't know everything he thinks he knows. Attempting to teach "adulting" to one who would rather just go fishing all day. Wanting to do it all without losing one's ever-loving mind. All the while seeing a small blonde-haired, blue-eyed toddler in one's memory, just wanting to pick him up and never let him go - assuring him that Mommy will always be there to make sure he's OK.

Yeah. That's pretty much what it's like in my world right now.
Looking at my man-child, remembering my toddler - trusting that if I could teach him to walk and run, I can also show him how to fly.

Who Am I?

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday which got me thinking.
And helped me discover an answer to a really big question.

Who am I?

That question was raised as my friend and I were discussing the stresses and struggles of trying to handle the multiple roles we have. Especially when we are playing two or three or more of those roles simultaneously.
For example - when we are serving with our family at a church function: We may be a wife needing to support her husband, while we're a mother who needs to restrain redirect rebuke manage her children, at the same time as we are a Sunday school teacher who ought to be a good role model, while also being a small group leader trying to make sure group members are plugged in to an activity - and attempting to be all these things to all these people all at the same time?
Well, it can be overwhelming.
And sometimes we end up blowing a gasket and damaging our witness.
Can I get a witness???

So, what's a girl to do?

My friend and I decided we need to be convinced of our identity in Christ first.
And make our moves from that position.
As I pondered that thought I said, "Yes. I am a child of God - first!" A child of God.
If I am a child, it follows that I don't know everything, can't do everything, need help.
And if I am a child of God, then God is my Father and it follows that HE is the One who knows everything, can do everything, will help me.
Therefore, in answer to the first question, I am a child of God.
And in answer to the second question, I need to surrender myself to HIM. That is, I need to accept my position as a child, and God's position as my Father. Once that's settled, I need to seek and accept guidance from HIM, being obedient to HIS direction, and trusting that HE will work in me that which is good and right.
Oh, that sounds so simplistic.
Too easy.
Almost too good to be true.
But if my heart would just be humble enough to accept that plan, to believe that's who I am...
I have a feeling I'd be feeling peaceful a lot more often.

What do you think???

Feeling Helpless from Afar

So, my girl?
Made it to Colorado just fine. Thoroughly enjoyed her roommate's companionship on the road-trip, was having a nice weekend with her roommate's family in Denver, and was looking forward to getting moved into her apartment and starting her internship Monday.
That's the report Elizabeth gave me when we spoke on the phone Sunday afternoon.
And my momma's heart was happy.

However.

But.

In spite of that good report.

Just a couple of hours later, she called Brian because as she was driving up the mountain - the engine quit. And she needed some advice.
Brian called our insurance company to get the car towed to a repair shop. And her roommate's family said she could borrow their car for the time being. Our responsible young lady even took it upon herself to say she would pay for whatever work was necessary on the car. And it seemed as though the small hurdle would be conquered.

However.

But.

In spite of that hopeful outlook.

Monday afternoon I got a text from Brian: Ouch! The Camry is dead.
Seems that little car got to protesting after the drive out west, and up the mountains, and just plopped right down and blew its little engine. (Guess it never read the story about the little engine that COULD.)
Since none of us wants to pay $7,000 to put a new engine in an old car, well, now we have to (help our girl) figure out what to do with a car that doesn't have anywhere to go. And can't get there, anyway!
Additionally, we're going to need to (help our girl) figure out how to get a new car - or decide if she can get by without one.
If she decides to do without, then there's the detail about how she'll get herself and her stuff back to Wheaton at the end of the summer.
And at this point, I'm thinking it's a good thing I know God knows how it's all going to work out. HE knew the summer would begin with this unexpected (to us) obstacle, and HE knows how it's going to end. HE is bigger than the mountain that killed the car, and the 1,300 miles separating me from my girl right now is not too much for HIM.
So, I choose to trust. Although I feel helpless because I am not "there" with my girl, I choose to trust in the One who IS.

By the way, if you know anyone in the Denver/Vail vicinity who needs some scrap metal - tell them I can hook 'em up with a lot of it! *wink*

HIS Business is Greater

Choosing Well

I could write a blog post tonight (Tuesday, as I'm writing...) for someone to read Wednesday.

But my daughter invited me to watch a movie with her and her friends.
And tomorrow she's leaving for Colorado - where she'll be until August when she goes back to school, where she'll be until next May when she graduates. And Who knows where she'll be after that???
So, I hope you won't take it personally when I say I am choosing to spend the evening with my girl, instead of thinking about a blog post.

Because Who knows how much longer she'll call this house "home"??!!

Does the Bible Really Say That? Part 2

Coming Home

It's time for this momma to hit the road!

That is, today I am driving to Wheaton to pick up my girl and bring her home - after completing her third year of college. Tonight I get to meet her new "interest" as we have dinner together, then we'll go to her church for a worship night, then back to her apartment to load up and get some sleep - before hitting the road again tomorrow to come home.
I cannot wait to have her back under my roof. (Even shampooed the carpet in the basement and cleaned her bathroom so she'll feel nicely welcomed back. *grin*) Although it will be for a very short time. That is, Wednesday she's leaving again - a few days visiting Grandma, then a trek out to Colorado for her summer internship. And yes, we're planning a family vacation to Colorado this summer to visit!

I know I've said it before, but this seeing-your-daughter-grow-up thing is tricky for a momma's heart. So proud to watch who she's becoming. Excited to observe her facing adventures. Enjoying conversations about adulting and preparing for the next steps. And remembering that precious baby girl I brought home from the hospital more than 21 years ago - recalling that I had to teach her how to eat and sit-up and walk and get dressed and brush her teeth and tie her shoes and...not sure my heart is ready to release her into that big world out there.

Trusting God will watch over and care for my baby girl.
And my momma's heart!