Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Opportunity Lost

***Edited to add***
I have become aware that there are a number of people who have concerns with the novel, The Shack. I am citing it in this post to give credit for the quote I read - not because I hold this novel in the same esteem as the Word of God. Don't worry!
*******************
I finally had a break in my list of things To Do and told my children I was going into my room to read for a while.
On the surface I was trying to be a good model for them - you know reading a book, rather than spending time in front of the computer or some other electronic device. But the truth is, I needed a reprieve. Just needed to steal away from the noise for a few minutes to lower my blood pressure and anxiety level. And if I happened to set a good example for reading in the process, well, happy day.
So I slipped into my bedroom and flopped down on my bed with a copy of The Shack. And as I opened it up to chapter three, this is the quote I found waiting for me:

The soul is healed by being with children.
- Fyodor Dostoevsky

I did a double-take, and then nearly started to cry.
I thought, God, is this some kind of a joke??? For weeks I have had the ache in my soul to get away and be alone with YOU, without interruption, without being needed by another human being. Being with YOU is the healing I need.
But here is this guy saying it is being with children that heals the soul! O, LORD, I love my children. I would die for them. You know it! Why do I feel such a need to hide from them right now?


Have you been there? Need to get away, but the opportunities seem to be getting away faster than you can catch them?

* You may remember my disappointment a few weeks ago of not getting the retreat I had hoped for.
Opportunity lost.
* For the past four summers I have gone away for a couple of days to a Women of Faith conference. But this year, finances said NO.
Opportunity lost.
* My mother-in-law is taking the kids for a few days at the end of the month, and I thought maybe that could be my opportunity to get away. But my husband and I really need to spend time "alone" together and we are going to visit a bed and breakfast while the kids are with Grandma. I hate to admit that I struggled with wanting to not give up what I was considering another opportunity to be alone.
But to some extent that, too, seemed like another opportunity lost.
(Soooo hoping you won't misread my love and respect for my husband by that last statement.)
* Kathy Troccoli is going to be in concert in Michigan in August and I thought perhaps I could take a day to myself and finish it up at the concert. Granted, August feels like it's a long way off, but I would have something for which to look forward. However, when I checked the calendar I saw that Brian and I already committed to attending a wedding that day.
Opportunity lost, again. *heavy sigh*

So there I sat - fresh out of hope that I am ever going to have an opportunity to get away by myself. Staring at the words, The soul is healed by being with children. Wondering what on earth God was trying to say to my very weary, someone-get-me-out-of-here, I'm-on-the-verge-of-tears soul.

Not that I want to leave you on a low note, but I sat with these feelings for a while, so why shouldn't you??? LOL
I'm bad.
Come back tomorrow and I'll let you in on what I think God was trying to say.

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11 comments:

luvmy4sons said...

Hugs...I SO understand. My post today interestingly...well, I understand. Till tomorrow then. Hugs!

Chatty Kelly said...

I don't want to "blow" the point your going to make tomorrow, but I have 2 comments to make.

#1 - The Shack is NOT the Bible. So it doesn't necessarily mean that it was God speaking to you. (Although God can speak to us through any medium).

#2 The Bible is the Bible.
Mark 1:35 Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.
Mark 6:32 So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place.
Luke 4:42 At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place.

If Jesus often felt the need to "get away from it all," I think you're in pretty good company.

That doesn't mean you don't love your kids! It just means we all need time (Even Jesus) to retreat, spend time with God, refresh & renew.

Sharon said...

I came over from Leslie's blog. You have a cute blog here. When my kids were younger I used to get up really early like 5:00 am so that I could get my quiet time with the Lord. I would spend abuot an hour with God and then an hour doing my meal planning and tidying up the house or whatever to prepare me for the day. I would like to get back into that, but I am older and more tired now and it's hard to get up! Well, actually, I get up three days a week and walk at 6:00 am and the other days I sleep wake up basically just in time to get in the shower and get ready for work! Hang in there! You are doing a great job!

Hugs, Sharon

Jerralea said...

I totally understand your feelings. When I was a SAHM, I longed for the day to have a few hours to myself. The year my youngest started school is the year my hubby became disabled, and I had to go back to work. I never did get the house to myself!

I'll be interested in tomorrow's post to see what you feel the Lord was telling you through this experience.

Ronel Sidney said...

Very interesting!! I have felt this same way before, I can't wait to hear what God was speaking to you.

I, too am reading the Shack and agree it isn't the bible yet I also believe God is able to speak to us through many different things other than the bible.

Anonymous said...

wow...at this VERY moment, I TOTALLY understand!!!! BIG HUGS!!!!
As I type this, I have the timer set for my daughter to play quietly...

Looking forward to your post tomorrow!!
Patricia nyc

Proverbs 27:19 said...

LOL!!!

Mind you, I am not laughing at you, Karen, my dear. I am laughing in agreement with your feelings on wanting to be alone.

smooches,
Larie

Melanie said...

Talk about "surviving WOMANhood." SOMEtimes it is a thankless, lonely job. And yet I know that even Jesus felt like we women feel from time to time. He was (and is) touched by the feelings of their (our) infirmities.
Bless you, Karen. You're in good company.
Melanie@Bella~Mella

Amanda said...

Well... I am pretty ANTI The Shack, as I feel it has led so many astray and I am having a hard time believing the God is actually talking to anyone through a book that defames him, but I am so confident in YOUR discernment that for you, I do not worry.

And of course, I love getting to see how parenting is going in your house... you always put things in perspective for me in such an amazing way!!

Love to you!
Amanda

Jessica said...

Been there.

Edie said...

This better be good :) because for one, I'm one of *those* people you referred to in the edited portion of this post, and two, my granddaughters were wild banshees all day today! The refused to obey anything I said and Emily argued with me ALL day over getting chocolate milk. LOL!

I'm going to read your "Opportunity Found" right after I read your "Do Not Be Afraid". I need that one more. :)