Tuesday, October 12, 2010

We Crack Me Up

*big grin*

I can laugh about it now.

But last week - when I was feeling so overwhelmed by my job, and life, and my family responsibilities - I wasn't laughing. I really did want to talk with Brian about how I was feeling, and I figured since the whole thing had been brought into the open at small group Sunday night, well, surely he would ask me about it and I could talk to him more.

Only, he wasn't asking.

Even when I thought about it really hard.

So, I was feeling rather unloved. I mean, if my husband cared about how I was feeling, surely he would have noticed my tears and would have come rushing to my side to be my knight in shining armor.

But he didn't.

So when he came home from men's group Tuesday night and told me they'd been talking about expressing their feelings with their wives, I couldn't help but see the door God was opening. And I walked through it.
I said, "Actually, I've been wanting to talk about my feelings for a while." And I proceeded to tell my husband that I had been feeling unloved over the past couple of days, and I explained why - because he hadn't asked me about my tears Sunday night.

My poor husband sat there slack-jawed, with his eyes as big as saucers.

He said, "But whenever I ask you about something and you start crying, you always say you can't talk about it. I thought I was doing the loving thing by not asking."

I think that's where I started laughing.

He was absolutely right. When I'm crying, I can.not.talk. And I have been known to say before, "Don't make me talk about this." Ah, yes. I could totally see where he was coming from.

So for two days I had been sitting here, feeling unloved because Brian wasn't asking about my feelings. And for two days he thought he was being loving by not asking me about my feelings and making me cry again. Bless his heart. He was trying to do the right thing!

We crack me up. Seventeen years of marriage, college degrees in Communication and Social Work - and we still can't figure out how to talk to each other. Anyone know where I can sign him up for mind-reading classes?



Mari said...

I love this! You have just described my husband and me quite well, and probably lots of other couples too. Thanks for the smile this morning!

Anonymous said...

This is too funny...just last night at our LPM {Ladies Prayer Meeting} this same discussion was brought up. Go figure...grin***

Blessings my friend...
Debby Ann

TheUnSoccerMom said...

oh wow!! something similar happened to me and Jon last week, but I've yet to say anything. Thank you, I think I'm going to now.

and that is funny! You're so blessed to have a Godly husband. :o)

Deirdre said...

If you find that mind reading class, let me know! I need it.

gianna said...

okay, that is AWESOME!
I love how they can be so confused and yet so completely right.

Wendy said...

Every time I run into that situation, I remember a scene from the Dick Van Dyke show. Laura was crying, Rob had no idea what was wrong and she says, "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!"

Bless their hearts, we really do make it hard on them sometimes, don't we? LOL

Irritable Mother said...

Mari - It's good to know we aren't alone. *grin*

Debby Ann - It's good for us women to talk about it with each other. Here's to taking the conversation to our husbands!

Jodi - I'll hold you to it. *wink*

Deirdre - Sure will!

Gianna - I'm trying to not be so confusing, but I don't do a very good job sometimes. My poor hubby.

Wendy - Ah, yes, we do. Half the time I don't understand my own feelings. I guess it really isn't fair to expect him to figure me out. LOL!

Heather {Desperately Seeking} said...

I'm not sure if this should make me feel better or worse. Having only been married just shy of 5 months, I keep thinking that it will get better... that we will find a way to communicate and this silly stuff will go away.... but maybe it's not supposed to? Maybe we're supposed to try, always striving to do the right thing, and continue learning?

I don't know...

I just know that somedays? I can't figure out why my husband (a) married me and (b) sticks around.

Irritable Mother said...

Heather - It should make you feel better. *grin*
Honestly, Brian and I joke about our communication attempts - pathetic as they may be sometimes. But God's grace runs deeper than our best attempts, and it flows over onto us. We're so thankful!
Always easier to laugh in hind-sight. So important to keep striving and learning.
And in my opinion? You should stop trying to figure it out, and just thank God that He brought such wonderful man into your life.
Love you!

jackie said...

This made me smile because my husband never asks about my feelings. But, it's not that he doesn't want to, he already knows how I am feeling by looking at me. He also knows when it's ok to ask, if that makes any sense :)

Irritable Mother said...

Jackie - Has your hubby taken that mind reading class? *grin* Sounds like you two have a good thing going!

Cindy said...

Let me know if you find a mind reading class!