Tuesday, January 26, 2016

What Am I Worth?

I enjoy many things at the beginning of a new year.

Doing taxes is NOT one of them. *ahem*

And because my husband likes to be on top of them (i.e. As soon as tax documents start coming in the mail, he's entering information into the computer.) he asks for my ministry tax information early.
So, guess what I was doing Sunday evening.

*insert agonizing groan*

I try to keep good records, and I use the previous year's worksheets as a reference - so the process, itself, isn't too big of a deal. The part I don't like is the inevitable battle which takes place in my heart and mind over the question, What am I worth?
Because the course of doing taxes requires that I add up my income and expenses.
And once that is done, it's pretty easy to do the math to answer the question, How much did I make?
Which translates to, What was my contribution to the family?
Which unnecessarily (yet persistently) leads to, What am I worth?
And the reason I so dislike answering that question while preparing my taxes is because, Sunday night the answer would have been, "Pretty close to nothing."

Now, I've been through this cycle before. Jesus has picked me up in previous tax-years when answering those questions brought me low. I know my worth comes from Christ, alone. And nothing is greater than the price of HIS life, which He was willing to pay for me.
But Sunday evening as I was crunching numbers, HE showed me something new. That is, while my income and expenses were almost the same amount, nearly half of my "expenses" were in the category of "Charitable Giving". And 85% of that category went to the support of my little Compassion girl in Ecuador. (I remember when I decided to become a Compassion sponsor those many years ago telling God, I'm going to trust You to provide for this sponsorship through my speaking, and book sales.)
As I looked at the numbers Sunday night, tempted to evaluate myself as not being worth much, God's Spirit prompted me to ask a different question.

How faithful is God?

Looking at the numbers, the answer was so easy to see: HE provided precisely what was necessary to meet my needs (and those of my sweet Noemi).
So, how faithful is God???



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