Thursday, March 01, 2018

Late Night Ramblings

Have you ever thought your child was home, called him to set the table for dinner, and discovered he isn't home, after all?
So then you figured he must be at work, because where else could he be?
But then you think, Wait a minute! I don't remember seeing him this afternoon when I got home from picking up the van. And you start to think, What if he got into an accident after he dropped me off at the shop to pick up the van?
But you know that's a ridiculous thought, because - surely - you would have seen the accident when you were driving home the same route he would have driven.
So you try to dismiss the thought.
But it lingers.
And as the evening progresses you consider texting or calling your child, just to be sure he isn't dead is at work. But you think you're being silly, and you tell yourself, Of course he's fine.
Except your anxious mother's heart is arguing with the rational part of your brain. So you can't go to bed when you want to because you'll just feel better if you see him walk in the door after work. Because even though he's totally fine, and the police would have contacted you by now if he'd been in an accident, and you're over-reacting by worrying, and all that stuff - you just want to see him with your own eyes.

Then, like music to your ears, you hear the garage door open and close - and you walk out and see your son cuddled up on the floor with the dog. And you rush over to him and hug him and tell him you love him, and you're so happy to see him.
You confess the worry you've been battling for the past few hours, and he says, "You know, you could have called me."
Then you're all, "But I thought I was being silly. And you wouldn't have been able to answer, anyway..."
And he says, "You thought I was dead, and you didn't even call me???"
And you're left trying to figure out how to convince your son you really do love him, even though you didn't call...

Has that ever happened to you?
Yeah. Me, neither.
Good night. My son is home, and I'm going to bed now.


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