Wednesday, March 14, 2018

What's LOVE Got to Do With It?

So I've been thinking about love lately.

The outlook for lasting relationships in today's world, that is.

This thought process started with a conversation I had recently with one of my honorary daughters.
She was telling me about some relational struggles she's having and how hard it is to persevere when most of her generation is telling her to just quit. To send him packing. To get rid of the difficulty and start afresh with somebody else. ***read that: Someone with whom there are no problems - which will make for a suitable replacement - until said stand-in reveals he has issues, too. At that time, previous suitablity becomes null and void and must be re-replaced with another proxy who will suffice until inevitable complications surface. Repeat ad infinitum.***
I was simultaneously pleased and saddened.
Pleased that my girl recognizes the madness.
Saddened by the reality of the whole situation.
It seems like our world has become a place where struggle is taboo and comfort is to be elveated above all else. Where the most important factor in a relationship is our personal "happiness", with no room for personal character growth via strife, conflict, or serious effort. For many people, a relationship in 2018 is a situation in which you shouldn't have to give up your preferences, where the "other" is expected to please you in every way, and offenses are unexcusable.
And it breaks my heart.
Because there is no way a relationship can survive those standards. And standards like those are going to produce shallow people whose lives are based purely on feelings, and who will never make it in an imperfect world.

My honorary daughter and I were talking about romantic relationships, but the current state of affairs isn't limited to those connections. We see it in families, neighborhoods, peer relationships, in the church, and at work. If one party offends another, today's world allows the offended to righteously declare that they have been wronged and move on to find someone who will treat them better.
Nevermind addressing the offense, dealing with the differences, and growing through the process.
Nah. That's too much work!
The thing is, I remember a time - some 25 or 26 years ago - when somebody told me about lasting love, which makes for a lasting relationship.
It's love that has a will.
It makes a decision, doesn't depend on feelings.
It stays in the mix when times get rough.
And it commits to seeking the best outcome for everyone involved.
I have lived and received this love in my marriage, my family, and my friendshps - and I have seen it in the lives of many people around me. It isn't easy, but it is possible.
And it is imperative for a lasting relationship.

So that's what I've been thinking. What do you say about it?

Karen

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