Hold Me, Please

I had time today to work on my new book. Ahhhh. It felt good.
Right now I am primarily working on the "Your Turn" sections of the entries. As I write I am praying for the women who will read this book, and it thrills my heart to realize God knows exactly who they are and He will orchestrate their days to bring these words and their circumstances together at just the right time.
I commented to Brian about this thought while we were eating lunch and he said, "Do you realize He also knows the women who will read your fourth book?"
My fourth book?
I said something about not being sure I would be writing a fourth book. Brian just smiled and said, "I bet you will."
He is my best cheerleader.

So, while I will be talking more about my first book next week (participating in the Fall Y'all blog give-away party) today I am sharing from "Book Two." Yeah, that's how I have it labeled on my computer. Haven't settled on a title yet, though I am leaning toward, Got Hope? More Confessions of an Irritable Mother.
I welcome your feedback on that title, BTW!

Hold me, please

I was in the kitchen getting dinner ready when I heard Matthew scream from outside. It sounded like an Ouch! That hurt! kind of scream, so I went to meet him at the door and find out what was wrong. When he came into the house I sat down on the step and Matthew just climbed up on my lap so I could hold him.
Sitting there together, Matthew did not say anything and I really did not do much either. I just told Matthew I loved him and I knew he was hurting. I rubbed his back and assured him he would be OK soon. As far as I could see, there was no blood to wipe up or dirt to brush off. So I rocked him and told him I loved him until he was ready to get up and go play again.
I remember sitting on the step with Matthew thinking, Gee, I am not doing much for him, am I? With no obvious ailments to treat, I was wondering about my usefulness. Tender words and touch did not seem very practical for treating whatever had happened to make him scream. He never did tell me what happened. It seemed he just wanted to sit on my lap until he felt better.
In time he did feel better, and rushed back outside.
After Matthew was off on another adventure, I considered how the scenario in which I had just played a part was like a picture of how God tends to my needs. He understands when I am hurting and is always waiting for me to come to Him for comfort. When I come, God tenderly holds me and assures me of His love. He gives me confidence to know I will be alright.
I have come to realize God has full knowledge of every situation which is hurting me and He may or may not do much about it. Sometimes God moves in the circumstances and eases my pain. On other occasions He allows time and circumstances to work themselves out. God alone knows what is necessary and I am convinced whatever He does is perfect and right – even if I cannot see it at the moment. And just as it was with Matthew and me, now I understand sometimes it may simply be God’s comfort and love I need to get me through a difficult time until I am able to run again.

Your Turn: How are you doing today? Is there a situation in your life right now which makes you want to yell, “Ouch! That hurts!”? Your Heavenly Father knows all about it, and He cares about your pain. Will you allow Him to speak His love to you, and to assure you everything is going to be alright?
Imagine yourself sitting on His lap, leaning upon His chest. Sometimes I wrap my arms around myself or cup my face in my hands, as if they were His own, and think about Him physically holding me. As you are sitting there, ask the Lord what He wants to say to you. He is your Abba Father, and He loves you so much! Can you hear Him telling you of His love?
God does not mind if you wet His shoulder with your tears. Go ahead and tell Him about your pain, and let Him lift you up as He covers you with love.

Praying you will hear God speak His love to you today!

God Hugged Me

I don't know if I have said it here before, or not, but I am convinced God hugs me, kisses me, and tells me He loves me through the arms and mouth of my seven year old son, Matthew. If you have heard me speak or read my book, you know the story about Matthew wetting his pants (again!!!) and God taking that opportunity to tell me He loves me. Well, it goes beyond that story and today was another occurrence - this time in the hugging department.
I was working with the boys on their spelling homework, practicing for the tests they each have tomorrow. After I corrected their work I told them they needed to write each word they had misspelled, five times. Joshua didn't like my decision and was putting up quite a fuss. (He was also mad at me because I had orignially told him he'd spelled "built" and "build" correctly, but when I looked more closely at his paper - and when it wasn't upside down to me - I realized he had gotten them wrong.)
How quickly we moved from, (quite calmly)"You need to write these words five times each," to, (mustering up all the self control I could find to keep from screaming)"Don't talk that way to me, young man. You need to sit down here and write those words...Get back here! I don't want you walking away from me when I am talking to you."
I let Joshua go into his room to write his words, on the condition he didn't slam his door on the way. Meanwhile, I stood in the dining room breathing deeply, trying to remind myself, This, too, shall pass.
Just about that time, Matthew came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist in a tender hug. I started to pray - asking God to grant me wisdom in this thing called mothering, and for the grace I need to love these kids. I thanked him for Matthew, believing He was hugging me through him, and at just that moment Matthew squeezed harder and held on.

I'm telling you, God hugged me today!

I wonder if you pay attention where you'll see Him show up, and who He will use to love on you!?

Rehearse the Truth

Ahhhh. I had a great weekend!
My mother and I attended the Spaghetti for the Soul conference. This conference is a relatively new event put together by Kathy Troccoli and Ellie Lafaro. Actually, it was put together by God. Kathy and Ellie are His instruments and He uses them wonderfully. You can go here to check out Kathy's schedule and see if they are bringing the conference to a location near you. I highly recommend attending if at all possible.
Both Kathy and Ellie shared great teaching (and, of course, great singing!) and I could write several posts about the things I heard. There is one thing, however, which particularly resonated with me and it is that one thing I am choosing to write about today.

Kathy spoke about Elijah and his response to the threat Jezebel made on his life in 1 Kings 19:1-15. Prior to this time the prophets of God had been put to death by kings who did evil in the sight of the Lord. Elijah had just had all the prophets of Baal put to death and when King Ahab reported the news to Jezebel she sent a message to Elijah saying, "May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them." (19:2) On hearing this message Elijah was afraid and ran away.
In verse four it says he "went away a day's journey into the desert. He came to a broom tree, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. 'I have had enough, Lord,' he said.'Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.'" Kathy asked a great question. "What did Elijah do with that day while he was journeying? What was he filling his mind with?"
I think we get a hint as to what Elijah was thinking that day by the response he gave to God later in the chapter. Twice when Elijah was hiding in a cave and God asked him what he was doing there he replied, "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." (v.10 and 14) Elijah was rehearsing all the things which had gone wrong when he answered God, and I have a feeling those were the same thoughts filling his mind as he walked along the road that day.

Can you picture him?

Poor Elijah has just had a bounty put out on his head by an evil woman. She is even willing for her gods to deal with her ever so severely if she doesn't have him killed! And he's walking along thinking, Oh, what do I do? I have been totally sold out for God, but for what reason? His people aren't listening to me. They have rejected Him. They have ruined the altars which were set up for Him. They've killed all the prophets before me, for crying out loud! And I'm next in line!
If I had been mulling over those thoughts for a day's journey, at the end I think I'd be asking God to take my life, too.

That is why I loved Kathy's encouragement for us to rehearse the Truth. Elijah's circumstance (and ours, too) didn't reflect the Truth or God's power. This morning I read the events leading up to Jezebel's threat.
* During a drought in the land, God sent Elijah to a brook where he could get water and He sent ravens to bring Elijah food every morning and evening. (17:1-6)
* God provided an endless supply of flour and oil to a widow so she could provide Elijah with food every day. (17:7-16)
* God brought the widow's son back to life after he had died. (17:17-24)
* God showed Himself to be the One True God, and Baal to be false, when He sent fire from Heaven to burn up the altar Elijah had built, and which he had also drenched with water three times. (18:16-39)

What if, when Elijah heard Jezebel's message, he reminded himself of all the amazing things God had been doing. What if he responded to Jezebel's call for her gods to "deal with her ever so severely" by reminding her that God Almighty had just proved her gods were nothing? What if, instead of rehearsing the things which were going wrong, Elijah rehearsed the Truth?
* God is all powerful.
* God is perfectly faithful.
* God has always taken care of me.
* God will care for me in this situation, too.
Do you think Elijah would have found himself sitting under a tree asking God to take his life?

So, my friend, Kathy asked the question of those of us in the audience, and you know I have to ask you. When your circumstance is troublesome, what do you rehearse in your mind? Do you play the difficult situation over and over in your mind, looking at it from every scary angle? Or do you speak Truth to yourself and remind yourself of Who God Is?
We need to rehearse the Truth.
* Our circumstances will continue to change, but God never will.
* He is bigger than every problem we have and more powerful than every trial we face.
* God will never leave us nor forsake us.
* He loves us with an everlasting love.
* No situation will come upon us which God will not use for our good and His glory.
* He is holy and perfect, and we can fully trust Him.

I don't know what circumstance you are facing today, but I know what is True. I pray you will be encouraged as you rehearse the Truth.

Needing Grace, part 3

I cannot believe I didn't think of this aspect of needing grace when I started this series. But yesterday I spoke for a moms' group and much of the conversation around the table after I was finished centered around this topic. As I sat and listened I thought, Yes. There needs to be a Part 3!
More than having angst over a perpetually messy house, and more than feeling worthless as "just a mom," I have struggled significantly with trying (and failing!!!) to be a perfect mom. And judging by the conversation I heard yesterday, I am not alone in this struggle.
Before I had children I thought being a mom was going to be easy. The moms I watched on television as I was growing up seemed to always get it right within their allotted thirty minutes. I never noticed (or cannot recall) my mom being less than perfect. Everywhere I looked I saw moms and I thought, How hard could this mothering thing really be???
When I got married and started hanging around married people, naturally I was exposed to more women having babies. Even they made it seem easy. Just read this book. It will tell you everything you need to know! Or, Listen to these tapes. Your baby will be sleeping through the night in no time! With so many great resources floating around I was sure if I just did my studying, I would be well equipped to be a perfect mother.
Silly me.
Sure, I got some great advice from those books and tapes, and from other moms who have "been there." The thing I found out, however, was all that great information didn't make me perfect. Talk about a rude awakening!

One of the moms yesterday related a similar frustration. She said before she had kids, she was an engineer. For every problem she encountered on the job there was a book to read which would provide a solution. And it was always the same - Every solution worked. Every time. She could encounter and overcome her problems at that time. She felt good about it.
Not so with kiddos. As the kids grow up, every mom realizes there are no books which will address and perfectly solve every problem, every time. Rather than knowing how to manage things perfectly and thereby feeling good about ourselves, we find ourselves surrounded by children who are a constant reminder to us that we are not perfect. How easy it is for us, in this situation, to lose hope. How tempting to think, I cannot get it right. I will never get it right. I'm probably ruining my children's lives. They need a better mother. I should just do them a favor and run away!
Thoughts like that one have honestly run through my own mind more than a time or two.

Several years ago I thought I was the only mother who struggled with the concept of not being perfect. Truly, I thought every other mom had it all together, and I was the only one who didn't. How wonderful it was to me when I learned I wasn't alone. None of us moms is perfect.
Therein is the third dose of grace I believe we need to extend to ourselves. Say it with me, I am not a perfect mother. Knowing we aren't perfect, and admitting it, frees us to throw off the unrealistic expectations that we will do everything perfectly as we raise our children.
Yes - We do, and will continue to, make mistakes.
Yes - We will encounter situations and offer what we believe is the best solution, only to find out later we were way wrong.
Yes - In spite of our best efforts our children will accuse us of being mean and unfair, and sometimes they will be right.
Yes - We will be driven to tears over our failures time and again, wondering if our children stand a chance of becoming well-adjusted adults.

It would be understandable to me if you were thinking right about now, So where's the hope in all this??? The Hope I have found is in the knowledge that, while I am not perfect and never will be, my Heavenly Father is perfect and always will be. He loves my children more than I do. He knows perfectly what they need. And in all His love, knowledge and wisdom, He saw fit to make "imperfect me" the mother of my children.
Because I trust God and believe He knows what He is doing I am able to accept my imperfections, with confidence my children are going to be okay. Yes, I will fail. But God is bigger and more powerful than my failures and He can handle it!
So, what do you say? Will you extend yourself the grace which tells you it's OK that you aren't perfect? Because God IS!

MomsBlogging.com contest!

We interrupt this series on Needing Grace (Yep. There will be a part 3.) to bring you the following announcement:
MomsBlogging.com is hosting a contest to find the meanest mom in the blogosphere. And the prize for being the judged the meanest mom? A copy of my book, Confessions of an Irritable Mother, and a $25 Super Certificate to spend as you choose. Not bad, eh?
Yes, I am still going to do a give-away of my book on this blog at the end of the month, but you really should check out this contest. I can't wait to read the entries. I'm hoping I can prove to my kids I am not the Meanest Mom in the World, after all. *grin*

Check out the details of the contest here.

Needing Grace, part 2

So we seem to be in agreement on the house issue. (BTW, all the bathrooms got cleaned in my house today! New thing we started with the new house: I clean my bathroom, Elizabeth cleans hers, and the boys clean theirs every Saturday morning. I love having everyone pitch in!) Now, how about the other issue that seems to keep surfacing. The one about being "just a mom"?
I know some of you work outside (or inside!) the home, so maybe you don't struggle with this issue as much. But many women I've spoken to who refer to themselves as SAHMs feel like they don't "do" anything. When meeting someone for the first time and the inevitable question, "So, what do you do?" comes up, many SAHMs respond with, "Nothing," or, "I'm just a mom."
But why? Why do we often feel like we don't "do" anything? Is it just because we don't get paid for it? Honestly, when I get the annual statement from Social Security which shows my income and the amounts I have paid into Social Security over my lifetime I think, Was I really contributing more to society when I was a junior in high school than I am now?
I think this feeling of nothing worthwhile was a bigger struggle for me when my kids were younger. I remember Brian coming home when Elizabeth was a baby and telling me about some great evangelistic conversations he had on campus that day, or the out-reach events he and his students were planning. I would listen and think, How nice. Well, let's see. I changed three poopy diapers today and washed the sheets again. Oh, and I made it through the store in spite of having a crying baby for half the trip. Yeah, I'm really making an impact for the Kingdom. *sigh*
At another time Brian was taking classes toward another degree and would tell me about the things he was learning. It was right about then I realized my brain was turning to mush. Green Eggs and Ham was the most intellectually stimulating thing I had read in months and, as much as I love Dr. Suess, it just wasn't making me feel like I was doing anything which would allow me to make a difference in the world.
As I said, this area isn't as much of a struggle for me personally anymore but I have talked to and heard from enough moms who are battling these feelings now that I wanted to address it here.

Being a mom is important.

Mothering does matter.

Read those statements again, and read them aloud if you need to!

Mom, your children need you. They can't pay you with more than hugs and kisses and they have no retirement plan to offer. (Except they'll pay you back for all the love you're pouring into them right now!) Although sometimes it feels like they're fighting against all the good things you're trying to do for them, you really are making a difference - in the Kingdom and in the world - because you are taking care of your child(ren).

Just as I believe we need to extend grace to ourselves in the realms of our homes, I believe we also need to receive it in our roles as mothers. You matter to God, and what you are doing matters to Him. Though sometimes we think being "just a mom" is insignificant, God doesn't think so. He has entrusted you with a child He created, and your role in that child's life is crucial.
Love.
Pray.
Hope.
Trust.
God knew what He was doing when He made you a mom. He delights in you. He is always with you. Now, lift your head up, ask the Lord to strengthen you for the work He has prepared for you, and go love your kids!

Needing Grace, part 1

Have you ever had an experience wherein you find yourself having a very similar conversation with several different people, and you begin to wonder if God is trying to tell you something? That's been happening to me over the past several days and it has led me to want to write about it here. At this point I am thinking this will be a two-part post, but I will leave it up to God to decide when it ends!

This first installment is prompted by an email I received yesterday from a mom who has just started reading my blog, a conversation I had recently with a mom who just had her fifth (!) baby, talk which was going around the table at the MOPS group I spoke for this morning, and countless other conversations I've had with mom friends throughout the years. Survey says, We are tired of our messy houses. We don't want anyone to just "pop in" because we will be humiliated at the condition of our abode. We don't know how we can have both kids and a clean house, and we are frustrated! Are you in agreement here?
I have struggled with this issue for years. Before kids I had a strict weekly cleaning regimen and, due in part to the fact my husband and I were the only ones "making messes," my little apartment was so clean and tidy. I took pride in my home. It was orderly and I felt in control.
Three kids later, I still have a strict cleaning regimen. I am constantly picking things up and feeling like I need to be more strict.

Brian, install a shower in the garage.

Kids, you must shower before entering this house.

No playing in the dirt - you might bring some of it in the house!

If you have to eat, do it outside. I don't want any crumbs in my house! So what if it's 30 degrees out there. If you're hungry enough, you'll eat!

Toys? Why do you need toys? They'll just get left on the floor and I'll trip over them. No more toys in my house!

Do you see where I'm going with this line of thinking? Kids are kids, and even the best ones get messy. We can train them to be careful and take care of their things (and, oh, am I trying to get that done!) but the bottom line is, if we have kids in our house we aren't going to be able to escape that "lived-in" look.
I think each one of us mothers would agree with that statement, yet so many of us still seem to battle with feelings of inadequacy when it comes to the condition and cleanliness of our homes. Why??? When you go over to another mom's house, do you scoff at the basket of unfolded, or worse yet - unwashed, laundry? Do you count how many dirty glasses are sitting on the counter? Are you bothered by the books lying on the floor, rather than neatly stowed on the bookshelf?
No? Why not? Oh, because she's a mom and you realize she is taking care of her kids in addition to trying to maintain a household? I see. You're extending grace to her. That's nice. And that's what we do, right?
I remember picking Matthew up from a friend's house once. His mother apologized to me for the mess as we went to the basement to get the boys. Honestly, I didn't know what she was apologizing for. It just looked to me like boys had been playing. Everything seemed as it should be.
And this woman who just had her fifth baby? I took a meal over to her and as I stepped over a few toys to get into the kitchen, she also apologized for the mess. Are you kidding? Although I was aware of the mess, I really didn't notice it. Or at least I didn't care. She'd just had a baby for goodness sake! I couldn't imagine having five kids, let alone an orderly home with a newborn.
So I wonder, if we can be so reasonable in what we expect of other mothers, if we can give them all amounts of grace, why can't we extend grace to ourselves? Why must we have unrealistic standards for our own homes?
I am not advocating throwing in the towel on trying to maintain a nice home, or giving up on teaching our children responsibility for taking care of themselves and their things. What I am desiring is for each of us uptight moms to adopt realistic expectations for our homes, and to love our kids in the midst of the messes.
Do you think that's possible? Can you come to the place where you will be OK with someone dropping in unexpectedly? I love the saying a friend shared with me several years ago: If you're coming to see me, stop by anytime. If you're coming to see my house, please call ahead. I would like to think my friends are more interested in me than in my house. I know that's the way I feel about them! And I bet your friends are more interested in you than the condition of your house, as well.
I remember when I went to Florida to speak for some MOPS groups last year. The woman with whom I was spending the night told me in an email that, although she had two boys and a small house, she would do her best to make me comfortable. I responded to her by reminding her I'm a mom, too, and if she had a basket of laundry in the hallway, if she didn't dust before I came, and if she left drops of dried milk on the table I would feel right at home and would be very comfortable. It was so easy for me to give her that grace. But I knew if the roles were reversed, if she were coming to stay at my house, I would be working like a mad woman to get everything cleaned up.
(That reminds me of one day when I was dusting - just because it needed to be done - and Elizabeth asked me quite excitedly, "Are we having company???" She's very observant! LOL)
So, moms, what do you say? Can we agree to give ourselves grace when it comes to our homes? In the end I think this attitude will benefit not just ourselves, but our kids, too. I don't want my kids to think a clean house is more important to me than they are. How about you?

Having said all that, I want to share a resource which has been very helpful to so many women when it comes to keeping the house under control. FlyLady.net Lots of great ideas and encouragement there! I especially love the concept of doing a little bit at a time. Baby steps. I can do that!

Prayer for Failure Moms

A couple of days ago I put a counter on my blog so I could gain more information about traffic to this site. One of the things I have just found as I am looking at my account is this: I can see what key words people enter into search engines which ultimately lead them to this blog. Kinda cool, eh?
There is one mom out there for whom I am earnestly praying today. She found my blog after typing in the phrase, "I feel like a failure as mother of teenager." Reading those words, I could only imagine her sitting at her computer - perhaps after a fight with her child - feeling utterly hopeless, feeling like she is ruining her child, wishing that child understood Mom wants what is best for him/her but afraid said child only sees the Meanest Mom in the World. And so she types in what she's really feeling. I feel like a failure.
I have soooooo been there! In fact, even though it's a rotten place, I still visit every now and then. And those are the days I most question whether or not I really will survive motherhood. I question whether or not my children will survive motherhood!
But, friends - fellow moms in the trenches - there is Hope!
This morning I started memorizing Psalm 30. (On occasion I memorize a Psalm by meditating on one verse per day, writing that verse down and carrying it in my pocket and referring to it throughout the day. A week or so ago I read Psalm 30 and knew this was the next one I wanted to commit to memory!) Verse one says this:

I will exalt you, O Lord, for you lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me.

As I meditated on that verse, one of the things I did was thought about my "enemies." I told the Lord, I don't consider my children to be my enemies but sometimes mothering feels like an enemy. Er, maybe it's my expectations that are my enemies. Yea, like my expectation that I'll do everything perfectly. Or pride. Yes, pride wants me to do everything perfectly so people will look at me and think I'm so good. Lord, do not let pride gloat over me. I want to exalt You - not me.
I have come to understand God is strong and I am weak. And in my weakness He is glorified because He gives me the strength I need to make it through. I know what it is to feel like a failure mom. I know how it feels to be afraid your children are never going to understand you really, truly have their best interests at heart. Some days I actually ask them, "Do you think I wake up every day thinking of ways I can make your life miserable? I don't want to make you upset. I am trying to train you and shape you. My desire is for your good!"
Somehow in the midst of this struggle I am finding more and more Hope. I am becoming more convinced my children are going to be OK. It is true I am a broken, imperfect woman, which translates into a broken, imperfect mom. Sometimes I feel like a failure. Can you relate?
But my friends, here's the Hope. God loves our children more than even we do. He is bigger than our failures and imperfections. He has made us our children's' mothers on purpose and He will faithfully see us through this journey.
Pray. Pray for your children. When you are at your wits' end with your kids, pray that God will calm your heart. Pray that He will open their eyes to see your love for them. Pray that He will guide and protect them through their future. And trust in His faithfulness to do these things.

So, where are you today? Feeling like a failure mom? Please let me pray for you.
Father, perfect Father, thank You for loving this imperfect mother. You know her heart because You formed it. You know her fears because You listen to her cries. You know her weaknesses and her needs because You know everything about her. Today I am asking you to cover her with Your love. I am asking You to fill her to overflowing with hope in who You Are. Lord, please give her the confidence she needs to know You are in control and working all things for good. When she is feeling weak please remind her You are her strength and help her to trust in You. And, Lord, please give her children the grace to understand she loves them even when she seems tough, and she really does have their best interests at heart. Thank You, Lord, that in the midst of holding the universe together in perfect balance You are concerned about the things concerning us. Amen.

My Own Give-away

So the other day when I was posting about who won Tricia Goyer's book, the thought crossed my mind, Hey, I ought to do a give-away with my book. Then a couple of you left comments to that same end, and I have decided I'm going to do it.
My dear friend Annie is going to make a button for me when she gets home from vacation. I haven't decided if I'll do a random drawing or make you work for it - like tell me in 50 words or less why you need a copy of Confessions of an Irritable Mother. I figure I still have time to think about it, but I wanted to give you a heads up.
Hope you're having a great day!

Open for Business!

OK, so I have told you previously we have a room in the basement which we are planning to use as an office and guest bedroom, right?
Little by little, we had been working on that room. We had painted the walls and Brian installed a couple extra electrical outlets. He was changing out the light fixture (It had been a neon light - very bright and rather noisy. Just didn't seem fitting for a bedroom.) and my job was to paint the ceiling, which I planned to get to - someday.
Someday came upon me quickly. We had a guest coming Friday night, so I painted Wednesday, bought carpet Thursday and had it installed Friday - a full six hours before our guest arrived! Sometimes I need serious deadlines to get things finished.
So, we are officially ready to receive guests. Here's a picture of the room waiting for you whenever you're in my neighborhood.
Seriously, if any of you blogging buddies of mine are ever in mid-Michigan and need a place to stay, you are welcome in my home!

Of course, if you stay here, you're going to need to be OK with bugs. Ring did it again. She laid another egg sac last night. I didn't know a praying mantis could lay more than one egg sac, but now I do. Yep, we have three egg sacs which Joshua is already planning to carefully place around our yard in the spring.
But don't worry, the bugs are all kept in Joshua's room upstairs and the guest room is in the basement. The only other critter in the basement (besides Elizabeth!) is Chloe, Elizabeth's mouse. You should be safe enough. *grin*

And the Winner is....

Polly P.!!!
How fun to do my first give-away. I very scientifically wrote each of the entrants name on pieces of paper and picked one! Oooooo Ahhhhhh
So a copy of My Life, Unscripted by Tricia Goyer will soon be on its way to Polly in Ireland. For the rest of you who wanted a copy, you can still head over to Barnes and Noble, or even Amazon if you don't feel like leaving the house.

This Means so Much to Me

Mathetes is the Greek word for disciple, and the role of the disciple (per the Great Commission) is to make more disciples.

Two dear blogging friends have given me an award. Karen and Heather have both passed on the Mathete's Award for excellence in discipleship. Awards are fun, but it is what each of these two said about me, and the ways God has been speaking to my heart lately that make this particular award so meaningful to me.
Karen said, She has a passionate desire for other Mum's to draw closer to God and to press in whilst going through the refining fires of parenthood. She is humble, motivated and open to go wherever God will lead her on this path. God has gifted her in writing, with compassion, with truth and with a refreshing 'realness' that we can all relate to.
And Heather said, She's on my wavelength. She exudes Christ in all she does and truly is a mentor to me on my spiritual walk.
It has truly been my desire to be used by God to draw women to Himself. Lately I have been thinking about how I might be able to be a greater influence for Him, for the gospel, in my writing and speaking and it blesses me to no end to have these friends recognize this pull in me. So, thank you, Karen and Heather. You have both encouraged me tremendously!

As blog awards often do, this one also has "rules." They are simple.
Winners of this award must pick five other "disciples" to pass it on to. As you pass it on, mention and provide links for:
1) Dan King of Management by God as the originator of the award.
2) The person that awarded it to you.
3) Name and sites of the five that you believe are fulfilling the role of a disciple of Christ.

One thing I love about the blogosphere is the community of Christian sisters I have found here, and so with joy I will pass this award on to five of these wonderful women.

Jenny at A Coach for Life, because she is shares honestly about her relationship with God. Not just the rosy times, but the struggles, too. It is Jenny's real-ness that moves us to seek God with integrity, and I absolutely love that about her.

Sweet Mummy at It's OK to be Weird, because she also is real - in her pursuit of God and her quest to be a good mom. She has learned wonderful things from the Lord and willingly shares her heart, and I think that's just what a disciple should do!

Jenileigh at Jenileigh's Journey, because she is passionate about God and her family. Jenileigh is another sister who shares her ups and downs and allows us to grow through her experiences. I'm so glad she is a part of this community!

Annie at My Life as Annie, not just because she is discipling me in computer stuff (!!!) but because she is a model of grace and perseverence to me. This woman has been through so much with her daughter Izzy, but she still sees God as faithful and she wears (and writes with) a grace I want to grow into.

And Karen at Karen's Ramblings, though she's already received the award I must give it again. Karen prays, she is shaped by God, and she shares these things with us - on her own blog and when she comments. There is no question Karen deserves this award twice - or three times, or four...

Karen also told me she thinks I am Totally Fabulous.
She is so sweet!
I will happily pass on this award to a few fabulous friends: Heather, Penny, and Shawna. You guys are awesome!!!

The Parable of the Loose Tooth

He did it again.

God spoke to me tonight through a very ordinary circumstance, and even through my own words.

Joshua has been working on a loose tooth for a couple weeks now, and when he came home from school today he gave me a big smile and pointed to a new hole in his mouth. I smiled back, "Oh! You lost your tooth!" He didn't make too big of a deal about it at the time, but as I was saying Good-night tonight, Joshua wanted to tell me more.
He said when he was standing in line to go out for recess he told his friend, "No matter what I have to do, I am going to lose this tooth today!" But it just wouldn't come out. A short while later, when Joshua wasn't "messing" with his tooth, out it came. As he retold me the story he said he was surprised that when he was trying to pull the tooth out it wouldn't come, but when he left it alone it came out. "Isn't that weird?" he asked.
I looked at my dear son and said, "You know, honey, many things work that way. Sometimes we try and try to make something happen, but we can't get it done. And then when we let go, the thing we've been trying so hard for finally comes through."
At the very moment those words were passing over my lips, it were as if God was saying to me, Listen to what you're saying. These words are from Me. And I immediately thought about the issues I've been trying and trying to bring into being. I've mentioned briefly some things I'm struggling with regarding Matthew, and there are other issues with Joshua. As I considered Joshua's tooth tonight I realized I've been trying to pull a few teeth around here, too. But tonight God was reminding me He's the Dentist, and I'm just the hygienist. I need to help the kids "keep their teeth clean" but the pulling is up to Him.
It isn't always easy to remember my role. I want to see results now. I don't want to wait. Tonight, through a simple conversation about a loose tooth God reminded me my role is to trust and obey - and let God be God.

How about you? Have you been trying to pull some teeth?

My Life, Unscripted by Tricia Goyer

When you were an adolescent, how did you make decisions about guys and relationships? Did you think things through to their logical conclusion, or did you let your heart do all the “thinking”? Who helped script your life?

I wish I could say I prayed and sought the Lord on everything, and I entered my marriage with no regrets or lingering memories. But that would be a lie.

The truth is, I didn’t meet Jesus until I was a freshman in college so seeking His input during my teen years really wasn’t an issue. And pretty much the extent of any other leading I had was a very simple script. My mom said, “Nice girls don’t do it.”
Please don’t get me wrong, I am not faulting my mother for the decisions I made as a teenager. I knew she didn’t want me to do what I was doing. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have been sneaking around. But her admonition did nothing to motivate me.
As far as I could see, Nice Girls weren’t very desirable. They got teased and called names (and not nice names, either). They were never welcomed into the “in crowd.” People snickered at them when they walked by, and looked down their noses at them. Nope, being a Nice Girl wasn’t going to motivate me to make (what I now realize are) good relational decisions.
So I followed the crowd. I did what “everyone else” was doing. I felt used and unloved but, in my messed up adolescent mind, I thought I was acceptable.

I am so thankful I met Brian, and that he introduced me to Jesus. In both of them I found forgiveness, true love and real acceptance. Along the way God put a desire in my heart to speak honestly with teens and encourage them to make better choices than I had. As a result, for four years I spoke for an abstinence education program called S.M.A.R.T. (S*xually Mature Aware Responsible Teens) – two years as a volunteer, and two years on staff. And now that my daughter is approaching her teen years I have a renewed sense of urgency to think about teens and relationships.
I believe it is the combination of my past, present and near future which make me so excited about Tricia Goyer’s new book, My Life, Unscripted. In this book, Tricia draws on Biblical principles to guide girls through the tumultuous teen years by teaching them to have a plan of attack before temptation or hardship come. I love how Tricia says it:

Looking back at my drama-filled teen years I now wonder ... What was I thinking?

The truth? I wasn't. I lived from day to day on every wave of emotion. Some days excitement and passion partnered up, pattering wildly within my heart.

Other days, depression and anxiety were my silent friends. I lived each day as it came, with no plan for my future, for my relationships, or for my heart.

I lived my life completely unscripted ... and, well, it didn't go well for me. Teen pregnancy and a broken heart were only two consequences. Yet my prayer is that when teen girls are asked Who's Writing Your Life? their answer will be ME ... with the guidance of God, My Director.

I have thoroughly enjoyed reading My Life, Unscripted. Tricia writes to adolescent girls. She relates with them in a been there, done that, learned my lesson the hard way so you don’t have to, here’s a much better way to go about it kind of way.
While I am not planning on relinquishing my parenting duties to Tricia, I am absolutely planning on giving this book to Elizabeth to read in a couple years. (She’s only eleven now…) I am sure it will be a great tool as, together, we work through her teen years.
If you would like to take a peek at the book, you can read chapter one here.
You can get your copy of My Life, Unscripted at Barnes & Noble where it is part of their back-to-school end cap promotion. OR, you can leave a comment here letting me know you would like to be in a drawing for a free copy. I will select the winner from all comments submitted by midnight October 5, and Tricia’s assistant will send you a free copy. Feel free to let your friends who have teenage or pre-teen daughters know about this give-away so they can enter to win, too.

Live and Love TODAY

Oh, friends, God is so good!

Remember that neighborhood Bible study I mentioned joining? The one with the rat lovers? Well, we are studying the book of Isaiah and this morning I finished Lesson One. At the end of the lesson we were asked to consider our first impressions of Isaiah and his message and then to note any response we had to what we observed. Maybe it is because I am so desperate, but the thing which really stood out to me in the overview of Isaiah was hope. Some things we looked at in the overview seem harsh but I kept seeing it come around to restoration, and that always gives me hope.
The last verse for this week's reading was Isaiah 65:19 and it truly jumped off the page and into my heart today.

I will rejoice over Jerusalem and take delight in my people; the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard in it no more.

Right away I thought of my kids. Could I say, "I will rejoice over this house and take delight in my children"? Sometimes I honestly don't feel that way.
We've been having some trouble with Matthew - his behavior, his attention (more accurately, his lack of attention), general obedience. Sometimes he does well and other times, not so much. I want to raise him to be a responsible, respectful young man. I want him to be a joy to his teachers, classmates, and everyone else with whom he comes into contact. I am trying so hard to teach him well, but some days I feel like a total failure and I think maybe I should send him to his room until he's 18. Have you been there?
So, anyway, this morning when I read about God rejoicing over Jerusalem and delighting in His people I was encouraged, but more so when I read that "the sound of weeping and of crying will be heard no more." It was as if God were reminding me once again we will make it through these hard times, and the kids will be fine when they grow up. There will come a day when I won't feel like crying over some failure or imperfection every day. Those sounds will be heard no more!
I just sat with those thoughts and thanked God for His never-ending patience with me and for the amazing hope He gives me every day. I wrote, I can delight in my children and trust the day will come when there will be no more weeping or crying.
Sitting in that hope, however, I was reminded of another thing God has put on my heart recently. I don't want to miss today because I'm too busy hoping for tomorrow. Yes, today has challenges in it but I know there are good things, too, and I don't want to miss them. Like the joy of waving to my boys when they're riding off on the school bus, and the hugs they give me before they leave. I don't want to miss those! And the heart-felt apology Joshua gives me after he has yelled at me. I don't want to be so looking forward to freedom from trials that I miss his tender plea. I want to live and love TODAY. And so my closing prayer for my quiet time this morning was, Lord, help me to love them now and enjoy them now even as I trust You to take us through the hard times.
Here's to a wonderful day, today.

Bug Catchers!

When Joshua's first praying mantis laid her egg sac, she died within two days. His second mantis seems to be heartier. She is showing no signs of slowing down and this morning Joshua wanted me to take him over to his school so he could catch bugs to feed her. With Joshua's bug net and bug cage in hand, we piled into the car and drove to school.
Joshua was quick to show me the best spots to catch bugs, and I watched him wander into the tall weeds after a moth. He returned quickly to deposit the moth into the cage I was holding and asked if I wanted to come into the weeds, too. I just smiled and said, "No, thanks." I could imagine all the prickers in there and wasn't interested in getting a collection of them on my jeans. Instead I enjoyed watching Joshua go after the bugs.
He really is impressive. Sometimes he slowly and quietly approaches his subject, pauses to assess the situation, then quickly pounces and snatches it up victoriously.
Other times he takes his bug net and chases a moth or butterfly, then swish, swish, he has it in the net. I couldn't get over how quickly he was able to get the moths in the net. If there is a skill for bug catching, Joshua has it.
It also made me laugh to hear him talking to his prey. "Ha, ha. Now you're going to be lunch for a praying mantis." Then, plop, into the cage they would go.
At one point I told Joshua I think he's a really good bug catcher. He smiled.
A few minutes later I saw him crouching down looking at something and he called to me, "Mom, do you want to catch one?" I went over to where he was and he said, "Do you see it?" I didn't. He pointed harder and said, "Right there." I still didn't see it. I had seen lots of bugs previously but they somehow all managed to hide from me and I was afraid this one would elude me, too. But Joshua was giving me a chance to catch a bug he found and I didn't want to lose this one. I thought, C'mon, Karen. Look! See the bug! Don't mess this one up. "Oh, I see it!" And I tried to grab it as quickly as I'd seen Joshua move. "Did you get it?" Joshua asked. I had a bunch of stuff in my hand. Leaves and grass, for sure. But then I felt something moving and I said, "I think I have it!" Joshua opened the cage and I, oh so carefully, opened up my hand to deposit the grass hopper.
By then it was time for us to head home, so we made our way back to the car with our cage full of bugs. All totaled, there were three moths, one butterfly (which Joshua thinks he wants to keep as a pet until it dies so he can put it on his bug board) and five grasshoppers. Joshua had a very satisfied look on his face and I was glad I had agreed to take him bug catching. I complimented him on his successful hunt and he thanked me for helping. I replied, "I only caught one bug." Joshua was quick to remind me I had pointed out the moths and one of the grasshoppers to him. "I wouldn't have gotten them without your help," he so graciously added.
We high-fived each other and smiled. Yep. We're bug catchers!

Check This Out!

How fun! Heather has posted an interview with yours truly over at MomsBlogging.com. Check it out! (You might have to scroll down to find it...)

Critter Update

I haven't written about our critters recently, and have a couple new developments to report...

I told you previously about Ring, the praying mantis, and the egg sac she laid. I don't think I mentioned Joshua caught another praying mantis. This one was another female and Joshua did a fine job catching other bugs and keeping her well-fed. (I even caught some lunch for her while Brian and the kids were gone last weekend!)
We now know she had a delicious meal of a male praying mantis before Joshua caught her, because she just laid an egg sac, too. So now we have two! Joshua is beside himself with excitement at this new development. This morning while we were walking to the bus stop he told me he wanted to be sure I did all the gardening I need to this fall. He doesn't want me to do any digging or pulling of plants in the spring. His concern is when the baby mantids hatch, if I start messing around in the garden I might disturb their homes.
I love to "watch" his thought processes regarding these egg sacs. He may not be so excited about school work and chores, but his concern for these bugs shows me he really can think things through and anticipate the future.
(BTW, did you notice we had this conversation on the way to the bus stop? In spite of Joshua's recent request that I don't always walk with him to the bus stop, each day this week he has asked me to come with him. He loves me! *grin*)

The other critter update is about the rats. You may recall my shock when an apparently-normal adult told me - in the presence of my kids - she loves rats and used to have one as a pet. Well, last week I joined a neighborhood Bible study and found myself in a room full of God-fearing Christian women who started talking about rats! Several of them were singing the praises of these rodents as pets. I'm not kidding! I sat there simultaneously laughing and kicking & screaming inside, wondering, God, are You trying to say something to me here? Yeah, if He is talking to me about rats through these new friends, I am definitely doomed!
If I do give in to this crazy request someday, you can be sure I'll post a picture here!

On a different note, I had a great time speaking for a group of moms last night. Once again, God delighted my heart with an opportunity to see Him bringing hope to these women. I love the time I have to share my story and, with all my heart, I desire to be used by God to be a blessing to each of the moms present. However, I think my favorite part of these events is the time after the meeting when I am able to talk with women and hear their stories. It blesses me to hear about how God has used me story to minister hope to other moms!

Too Busy

You know I have been working on my book, right? So today I am posting one of the entries because, well, I have so much to do today. Enjoy!

Too Busy!
OK, I know you’re going to understand me in this situation. You’re going to understand me because you’re a mom, and I’m a mom. So you can relate to how busy I am, right? We moms have a lot to do!
Take care of the kids. Keep the house clean. (Yeah, right!) Do the laundry. Feed the family. Get the groceries. Wash the dishes. If you’re married, you have a husband to attend to, as well. Oh, yeah! Don’t forget the in-laws are coming over for dinner tonight. So much to do!

So on a particularly busy morning, I was trying to get out the door to go to the grocery store. I had asked my husband if there was anything in particular he needed me to get for him from the store and he told me he wanted some snack things. “Snack things?” I asked. “Like what?” He so helpfully replied, “Just snack things.” We then proceeded to engage in a conversation about what particular food items would satisfy my husband’s snacking desires – you know, the snacks which include the right amounts of protein and good fat, are easy to grab and go, and don’t cost a small fortune per ounce. I did want to listen to him and get what he wanted, but the whole time we were having this conversation I was keenly aware of the fact I needed to hurry. Brian had tasks to get done that morning, too, and if I was going to be able to go shopping sans kids, I really needed to get going.
Besides the voice I heard in my head, telling me to hurry up, I began hearing other voices while Brian and I were trying to have this conversation. They were the voices of my children - the same children who know they aren’t supposed to interrupt my husband and me when we’re talking. But my children didn’t seem to care about what they already knew. They just wanted to request things from the store, too. They wanted to know if I would read a particular book when I got home. Could we play this or that game? What were we going to have for dinner? When was I going to be home? You get the picture. Finally, in desperation I held the palm of my hand out toward my kids, turned my head away from them and boldly proclaimed, “Not listening!” It got silent quickly and I heard a little voice say, “That isn’t very nice.”
I stood in my own silence and knew that little voice was speaking truth. It wasn’t nice for me to shut them out. I was feeling overwhelmed at the moment. I wanted to get out the door and accomplish my tasks. I had so much to do! But pushing my kids away and telling them I wasn’t listening to them was not a nice thing.
As I stood there in the silence, regretting my unkind behavior, another thought came to my mind. I’m sure glad God is never too busy to listen to me.
Oh, you can be sure God is busy. Right now He is holding the universe together in perfect balance. He’s watching seeds get planted and He’s making them grow. He is causing the sun to rise over one side of the world and hanging stars over the other. He just brought forth a bunch of birds from their eggs and now He’s watching them in their nest.
Countless prayers are being lifted up to heaven and God is listening intently to each one. Somewhere there is a woman crying over a broken marriage, a husband who has lost his job and doesn’t know how he’s going to face his family with the news, a teenage girl who has just found out she’s pregnant, a young man who wants to go to college but can’t come up with the funds, and a little girl whose heart just broke because her best friend moved away yesterday. Each of these people is crying out to God for help, and He is caring for them.
Then there’s me. Here I sit in my little corner of the world, feeling overwhelmed by one household. So I go to God. Lord, I’m tired and I’m feeling overwhelmed right now. I have so much to do. I need Your strength. Will You give me the grace I need to make it through this day? I need wisdom and patience in dealing with my kids. Lord, will You give me wisdom? Please help me make right choices. Father, I can’t do this mothering thing without Your help. I need You, Lord. Please help me!
In my moment of need, while God is holding the universe together, He does not stiffen His arm in my direction, turn His head away and proclaim, Not listening! He is never too busy. God is not overwhelmed by running the world. My barrage of little requests does not stress Him out. He can handle it!
Whatever you encounter today, you can face it with the confidence of knowing God is able to handle it. He is attentive to your every word and He will never stop listening. Nothing is too big or too difficult for Him. And just as wonderful is the fact, nothing is too small or too unimportant either.

Your Turn: Are you feeling overwhelmed because you have “so much to do”? Do you sometimes feel like you just can’t handle it all? Make a list of all the things burdening you today, then read Psalm 118:13-14. Ask the Lord to be your strength and song. Spend time in prayer, telling God your needs and thanking Him in advance for meeting them. Thank Him because He faithfully cares for you. Remember He never gets tired of you and proclaims, Not Listening! While you’re at it, why not write down Psalm 118:13-14 on a small piece of paper to carry in your pocket, so you can refer to it throughout the day?

What a Wonderful Day!

Ahhhh, what a wonderful day I have had today!
Would I seem like too much of a weirdo if I told you it's my birthday and the wonderful gift my husband gave me was taking my kids away with him this weekend so I could be totally and completely by myself all day? Guess it's out there now, so if that makes me seem like a weirdo...Oh well!

Here's the background:
A few weeks ago my husband asked me if I would mind if he participated in a conference the weekend of September 21. I looked at him and said, "Well, except that weekend happens to be my birthday, I guess I really don't mind." He started to back-pedal, but I tried to assure him I truly did not mind if he was gone.
Well, a few days later he asked what I would think of him taking the kids with him to the conference. (It is being held at a camp we went to this summer, which the boys absolutely loved.) I looked at him and said, "Are you serious?"

He was.

So I started thinking about what I would do with nearly 48 hours all to myself. (If only I didn't have to sleep...) I spent all Friday evening writing and sending out a newsletter for my Irritable Mother subscribers. The last newsletter I wrote was on June 19. Funny how moving to a new house over the summer can put you behind on things you'd like to do. Anyway, I was glad to get that newsletter out.
Then this morning, I woke up and took a shower (Didn't do my hair or make up, and I haven't seen a living soul all day so I'm really glad I didn't waste the time!) and I have been sitting in front of my computer almost all day, working on my next book. It has been wonderful! I have my first draft of each of the entries almost completed. Still have to do the Your Turn (application) section on most of them, write the final chapter and do a bunch of editing before I turn it over to my editor. And, of course, she'll have plenty of re-writing for me to do after she gets through with it. But I made so much progress today and I am thrilled. Going into this weekend, I realized I haven't touched this project in two months, so it feels especially good to make so much headway today.

Now, it's 10:02 and I realize I haven't eaten dinner yet. Guess I'll grab something quick and then I'm going to bed to read for awhile. I am participating in a Blog Tour for Tricia Goyer's latest book, My Life, Unscripted. I just started reading it last night and am impressed so far. I'll be posting about it on October 3 and will have a copy of the book to give away, so be sure to check in!

I hope your day was a wonderful one, too!

5 Things You Want Your Kids to Know ~ a meme

Claire at One Passion…One Devotion started a meme and tagged me for it, oh, a month ago!!! And I am finally getting around to it.
The meme is 5 Things You Want Your Kids to Know. Those participating are supposed to share the five things they want their kids to know before they “grow up” and then leave a link to their meme in the comment section of Claire’s original post.

Soooo, what do I want my kids to know?

1. I want my kids to know with absolute certainty there is One True God, the Creator of the universe, who is personally and passionately interested in them.

2. I want my kids to know God’s love for them is unconditional, that there is nothing they can ever do to cause Him to love them any more or any less. I do not wish they would think, “OK, if God loves me ‘no matter what,’ then I can do anything I want to and He won’t care.” I just want them to have a grasp on His amazing grace given to us through Jesus, and to realize they cannot earn or lose His love, but can freely receive it because of Jesus’ sacrifice for us.

3. I want my kids to know God is in control, even when life is hard and things don’t seem to make sense. Having confidence in His control, I want them to come to the realization the only logical thing for us to do in this life is to TRUST HIM.

4. I want my kids to know my love for them is forever. Not that I’m hoping for hard times and bad decisions on their part, but if the day ever comes when they do something really bad, I want them to know I will not turn them away, rather, I will continue loving them.

5. On a much more superficial level, I want my kids to know the table isn’t “cleared” and the dishes aren’t “done” until all flat surfaces have been wiped clean! I would like them to know this standard waaaaay before they "grow up." Like, very soon. (Can you tell this is quite fresh?!)

Yeah, I’d really like Elizabeth to take more interest in a couple personal hygiene issues, I’d like Joshua to master his multiplication tables, and I’d really like Matthew to “know” how to not wet the bed. But if they can only embrace the concepts in this list, I will be a very happy mom!

What about you, Mom? What do you want your kids to know before they grow up? I am not going to formally “tag” anyone, but I will ask you to let me know if you’re going to participate in this meme, because I’d like to read what you have to say.

Thanks, Annie!!!

Oh, Annie, now you've really made me smile! See, y'all, Annie knows what a hopeless case I am and she knows how to expalin things in Simple Simon terms so I, yes - even I, can accomplish amazing feats on the computer. And now, I can proudly display my awards. Yee-ha!!!

Thank you!

Have you ever wished you were gifted in an area so you could do something cool, but you just aren't? Have you ever witnessed people do things that look really good, and they make it seem easy, but when you try to do it you just get the big ERROR message?

Me, too.

I have recently had two dear women give me blog awards. Sweet Mummy gave me the You Make Me Smile award which, according to it's originator, is given to bloggers "who have inspired me through their blogging; the stories they tell and the lives they lead with grace and dignity. I visit their blogs for encouragement." I have appreciated the encouragement I've received from reading Sweet Mummy's blog, and it blesses my heart to know she feels the same way about me.

Then Heather at Desperately Seeking Sanity (Don't you just love that name???) gave me the Blog Friend Forever award which is "presented to awesome BLOG owners who keep their readers excited about their posts. Their blog posts are interesting (NOT spammy) and worth reading and keep their subscribers looking forward to each and every post." Heather is a hoot, and I am honored that she thinks I'm interesting. Well, several people think I'm *interesting* but no one has ever given me an award for it before. LOL!

So, there are really cute buttons that go along with these awards, and Sweet Mummy was sweet enough to try to help me figure out how to "grab" it and display it here, but I just can't do it. *sigh* I am completely computer inept. Simple cutting and pasting, I can do. Browsing and uploading are not to difficult for me. But that is my limit. *heavy sigh* And so, I graciously accept these awards (with sincere thanks Sweet Mummy and Heather) and am resigning myself to the fact I just can't display the buttons. *sniff*
But I can pass the awards along, and if you link back to Sweet Mummy and Heather, maybe you can figure out how to get the buttons!
Jenny, Heather, and Annie - You Make Me Smile!
Leigh, Jen, and Shawna - You are Blog Friends Forever!
Thanks to each of you for sharing your hearts and lives with the rest of us in the blogosphere.

A Testimony to God's Sovereignty

It was almost two months ago when we decided to sell our house and move. Though the housing market stinks right now I had confidence God would sell our house for us. I was praying for the family who would buy it, imagining a young girl who would fall in love with Elizabeth's room and a boy who would love the jungle in the boys' room. Knowing God knew the right family for our house, I prayed He would lead them to us.
We also realized it may be necessary for us to rent our house to someone, so while we were putting it "on the market," we also advertised it as "for rent."

One day a woman, a man, and two kids came to look at the house to rent. I was kind of staying out of the way but did notice the kids (a boy and a girl) seemed to really like the house. The man and the kids went outside and the woman stayed in to talk with Brian and I further. At that time she told me she was in the process of a divorce (The man with her was her brother, not her husband - as I had originally assumed.) and they were looking for a new home so they could start over. She told me about the struggle the past several months has been for them - particularly her son. I felt drawn to pray for, but as she sat down to fill out an application and then said she needed to get back to her kids outside, I chickened out and missed the opportunity. (So I thought.)
A day or two later, she knocked on my door. She came in and said she had a couple more questions and her son wanted to see the house again. I told her I was so glad she came because I'd wanted to pray for her the first time we met and was kicking myself for letting her go without praying. I asked if I could pray for her right then. She got a little teary and asked if her son could join us. He did.
I prayed for them, we hugged, she cried and we experienced God's love together. As this woman and I talked further, her son went outside and climbed up in the tree fort. She told me he really liked the house, especially the tree fort, and that is when I was sure I wanted them to live in our house. I knew this young man was struggling with his parents' divorce and it gave me a certain joy to think of him being able to climb up in that tree fort to just be alone with his thoughts in prayer, experiencing the love of his Heavenly Father.
While I wanted to sell the house, just so we could be "done" with it, more and more I was believing God meant for this woman and her children to live there. They needed a new start, free from the memories associated with their old house and I prayed that God would arrange things as He knew they should be.
Well, Saturday they moved in! This is part of the note she gave to us.

I want you to know that you have and still will be impacting my life and those of my children by renting us your home, by praying with [my son] and I that day, and by simply allowing God to use you in whatever way He will. You will never know how much it meant to me to find you and have everything fall into place so quickly.

We don't always have the privilege of seeing God's hand at work so clearly, but there was no missing it this time. I am so blessed and soooo thankful, and I couldn't not tell you about it.
Are you seeing His hand today?

BTW, TimeOut was great this weekend. I did get to meet Elisa Morgan - even sat by her at lunch. The best part was the conversation I had with my friend on the way home, all about Jesus and why I have faith in Him. Another example of the sovereignty of our God!

Real Quick!!!

I want to thank each of you for your prayers and encouraging words regarding last night's speaking engagement. In a word, it was Great! It was a lovely group of moms, they were very warm and welcoming to me, and God was definitely on the move.
I'm home only briefly now, as I'm leaving in an hour to go to the TimeOut for Women! conference in Grand Rapids. Since 1997 I have attended this conference with my mil, but this year she can't make it. Instead I am going with the woman who was each of my kids' first grade teacher. She's great and I'm really looking forward to it.
Tomorrow at the conference I will be able to meet Elisa Morgan. (Elisa is the CEO of Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers - for all you non-MOPS types who may not have known who she is...) I am very excited about this opportunity.
Gotta run,now. Have a great weekend!!!

In Expectation

Thursday morning I am flying to Wisconsin to speak for a MOPS group in the evening. Some of you may recall my post from yesterday mentioning Brian is out of town this week and, being the concerned women you are, you may be wondering who is going to watch my kids while I'm gone. This afternoon I was wondering that same thing.
I had made arrangements for someone to be here when the kids got home from school, and to stay with them until another friend is coming over to spend the night with them. I was so pleased at how it all came together. Yesterday I called to confirm these arrangements and when I finally spoke with the babysitter today I learned she is unable to be here after all.
I panicked.
I had already gone through my list of relatives for help with child care and no one was available. Now I didn't know what I was going to do. OK, I knew enough to cry and pray. Oh, did I pray! Lord, I know You know what I need to do. I know You know who will stay with my kids Thursday afternoon. I know You can work this out. I know You are able. I know it will all be OK. Father, please show me what to do!
And He did. I called my new neighbor who had welcomed me so kindly to the neighborhood, and who told me, "If you ever need help with anything, just ask!" Her son and daughter walk with Elizabeth to the bus stop each day and she was happy to step in for me Thursday afternoon. Whew! Crisis averted!

Needless to say, however, I was on the edge emotionally by this time. Plus, the unplanned time I spent trying to figure that situation out set me back on dinner preparation. Tonight was Curriculum Night at the boys' school so we needed to eat a little earlier to get to school on time. Great, I needed more pressure.
Dinner time brought its own stresses. Then, as we were walking out the door to go to school, I was looking in the mirror to make sure I had successfully wiped away the mascara which had been running with the tears down my cheeks. Elizabeth assured me I didn't look like I was crying. She's so sweet.
When we got home from Curriculum Night and I was saying goodnight to the kids, (and was looking at the dirty table and dishes I'd left behind in an attempt to get to school on time...) Brian called. I hadn't been crying for awhile, but I let it go with him. He prayed for me and the Lord reminded me of what is True. He IS bigger than my troubles. He WILL carry me through them. And one day He's coming back and He WILL remove me from them completely! This time the tears were happy tears.

So why am I calling this post "In Expectation"? Because I am reminded of previous times when I have been on the verge of a speaking engagement and it seemed like everything was falling apart, but then God did a wonderful work in the hearts of moms who are overwhelmed and broken just like me. I am expecting Him to do it again.

As I was writing this out tonight I thought, Man, I sound really pathetic. Guess what?
I am! I am a broken woman. I am absolutely hopeless without my Savior. But I am trusting Him to take this broken vessel named Karen and to use her to minister hope and healing to other broken moms Thursday night. Please pray with me to that end!

And I don't know if Becky (the coordinator of the group to whom I'm speaking Thursday) reads my blog, but if you are reading I hope I'm not freaking you out. I am going to be fine and we're going to have a wonderful evening. To God be the glory!!!

Now She's Up!

My day started out horribly, but ended wonderfully. Someone, please pass the Super Mom Award. LOL!
This morning Joshua was upset that he couldn't find a bug to feed his praying mantis and was concerned it was going to starve and die while he was at school. (Which, therefore, made school a terrible place to be.) He was upset with me because he didn't think I care as much about the praying mantis as he does. (Got me there!) He thought I was unreasonable for not going to the pet store to buy crickets to feed said mantis.
Well, the good news is Joshua found two grasshoppers at recess and since I had packed a snack for him in a ziploc bag he was able to use the bag to transport the bugs home. And I was given "credit" for helping him get bugs for the praying mantis. Bonus! Spot (the praying mantis) immediately enjoyed one of the grasshoppers, Joshua was happy, and I got placed back on his "good list." Oh, I'm happy!
Then Elizabeth told me she and a friend were talking about going to each other's house to make a cake for their class at school. In trying to decide whose kitchen they should use, Elizabeth's friend asked, "What's your mom like with messes?" Elizabeth said, "Oh, she's OK with it as long as you clean it up." And her friend said, "Then let's do it at your house. My mom is too picky."
What's this? Someone is preferring me as the less uptight option??? That makes me happy!
And when I tucked the kids into bed tonight, Joshua called me back into his room to tell me something *important.* In school today he had to write in a journal about what he's been doing lately. He wrote about the bugs he's been playing with. (For the record, Ring died and is now on the bug board. Spot is the new praying mantis. We have two grasshoppers - of the non-food-for-Spot variety - and one large dragonfly which used to be flying around Joshua's room and is now proudly displayed on the bug board.) Tonight he told me he also wrote he knows I love him because I'm letting him have these bugs in the house. Yep, for the love of Joshua. No way I'd allow it otherwise!
Honestly, I'm not real crazy about these critters, except it does give us opportunity to talk about God's creativity and attention to detail when we examine Jumper close up. More than that, though, it makes me very happy to know these little bugs in the house help Joshua know I love him so much!

One of *Those* Mornings!

This morning I did not like being a mother. Oh, I still love my kids like crazy, but this mothering thing...I was so ready to let it go!

Brian left yesterday afternoon for Denver. He's there this week receiving training for a new business he's opening soon. (It's a personal training franchise called Fitness Together. Yep, I'm thinking he should walk around with a t-shirt that says, "If you want a body like mine, you've got to train at Fitness Together." That'll bring the clients in!) Anyway, I'm flying solo this week and this morning I thought I was going to crash and burn.
I'll skip the details. It's probably enough to say Joshua was unhappy about everything, Matthew was mad at Joshua, and I was looking for somewhere to run away and hide. At one point, when two out of three of us were in tears and the other one was just grumbling, I honestly wondered if I should let them stay home from school. Not that I wanted to spend an entire day with this chaos, I just wasn't sure I wanted to send them out in this condition. Seriously, it was that bad of a morning.
Thankfully...
A lot of prayer and a nice walk to the bus stop seemed to help all of us.

At the bus stop I met another mom and as we were walking home she invited me in to her house for a visit. Oh, there is so much to get done today and I really thought I should pass on the invitation, but I went in anyway. I am so glad I did! We had a delightful conversation and after about an hour and a half of visiting, we found out we are very much alike. When I got home I found that no one had folded the laundry, cleaned up the kitchen, gone to the grocery store, or any of the other things I need to do today. Yep, those tasks are still here. And now I'm going to conquer them all, feeling a little refreshed from time spent with a new friend, and feeling hopeful that God will carry me through even my most difficult mothering moments.

I Bet This Won't Surprise You

A week ago I posted about the various critters we've had invading, I mean visiting, our house. One of those critters is a praying mantis the kids have named Ring. I mentioned Joshua is keeping Ring well fed (which is why we thought the bug was so fat) and I also referred to this particular bug as he. Well, well, well...
This morning Joshua called me excitedly and said, "Look what Ring made last night!" I went out and saw something that looked like a mini-wheat sitting on top of the cage. Although there was a box of Mini-Wheats on the breakfast table, I knew Joshua wasn't tricking me with cereal. Ring is a she, and she was fat because she had a bunch of eggs just waiting to be laid! Yep, that was an egg sac she made last night and now we have a slender bug. (I should have known it wasn't a male. Haven't all the males mated and been eaten by this time in the season?)

I got on the Internet to learn what I could about praying mantis egg sacs while the kids were in school today. I learned females lay their eggs in the fall (in sacs containing between 20-100 eggs!) and they hatch in the spring. I also learned that some people actually buy these eggs to put in their gardens because the adult praying mantis will eat pests. One site said, "Due to high demand praying mantis egg sacs are unavailable until 2008." Aren't we the lucky ones? We got an egg sac for free!
So the plan is, we're going to put the egg sac in a box in the garage for the winter and will put it among the flowers in the spring so the eggs can hatch and eat the pesty bugs around our yard. (I wonder if they'll eat the off-spring from one of the two bees that stung me the other day. That would make me happy!)
I think I might be as excited about this egg sac as the kids are. It really is amazing to think this thing was produced by a bug over night. And I'm glad for the "science lesson" God has just dropped in our laps. So long as we get them outside next spring before they hatch and take over the garage!

Once again, I live in a zoo.

To Amanda, mother of 4

Amanda, I am so glad you visited my blog and left a comment. First I would say, No! You are not alone. Second, I would love to talk further with you and am praying you'll stop by here again and will see this message. Please email me at Karen@IrritableMother.com.

In Hope,

Oh, No! It's Starting!

I have always known my children weren't going to stay little forever. I knew the day would come when they would grow up and wouldn't need me, and maybe wouldn't *sniff* even *sniff* want me. *sniff, sniff* But I thought they would at least be teenagers when that happened.

Elizabeth has been doing a wonderful job this week of getting up on her own (though she did forget to set her alarm last night and I had to wake her this morning). She gets herself ready, gets her breakfast, and leaves for the bus without any prompting from me. This behavior is such a change from last year, and I have admired how much she's grown up just over the summer. It did scare me a bit last night when we went to the shoe store though. The clerk measured Elizabeth's foot and, are you ready for this? (I wasn't!) My little girl's foot is a half size larger than mine!
OK, so she's really growing. But she's only eleven. What happened to waiting for her teen years before she started growing up???

Well, at least I still have my little boys, I thought. Then came this morning. Joshua asked, "Mom, do you have to walk us to the bus stop today?" (Background: Tuesday I went with them just so they could find it, but we had to turn several corners along the way and it seemed a bit confusing. So yesterday we went to a different one - maybe a slightly longer walk but waaaaay easier to navigate. I suggested this second bus stop specifically so they would be able to manage going by themselves, but I didn't expect Joshua to ask me to not go with them!) I asked him why he didn't want me to walk with them and he said, "I want to grow up a little." Oh!!! Matthew does want me to walk with them (he even holds my hand!) so I asked Joshua if it would be OK with him if I walked them to the bus today, but didn't tomorrow. He agreed.
So we're walking along this morning and I'm looking at Joshua - he's only 9! - and realizing he is growing up right before my eyes, too. We talked about school and bugs and the neighbor's cat, and I tried to cherish the moment. Then the bus came and even though he's growing up, even though his new friends were standing around, Joshua hugged me and gave me a kiss and told me he loves me. As he boarded the bus we even did our "You Rock!" routine. And as the bus drove away I saw both of my little boys sitting in the back of the bus, waving good-bye to me out the back window. Precious, I'm telling you. Absolutely precious!

I still don't know what to do about this "growing up" thing happening so far ahead of schedule, though!

I'm Doomed!

Yesterday was my kids' first day of school. Everyone got up and dressed and was excited to go to their new school. Our new neighbors came over to walk with Elizabeth to her bus stop, and about an hour later I walked with the boys to theirs. It was after school, when Elizabeth and I walked to meet the boys as they got off the bus, that I realized I'm doomed.
Also standing there, waiting for her son, was a neighbor I hadn't yet met. We chatted for a few minutes and she seemed quite nice. When the bus came and our boys all got off somehow the conversation turned to bugs and mice. (Go figure. Joshua comes upon the scene and there goes the conversation!) Something about this woman's demeanor made me think she wasn't so big on bugs and mice and she seemed eager to change the subject. However, before I could do anything about it Elizabeth told her we have pet mice, and she said something about wanting a rat. I thought, Great. Here goes any chance this woman will ever want to come visit our house!
But, no! She smiled and told us she loves rats, that she used to have one. Immediately Elizabeth engaged her in a conversation about the merits of having a rat for a pet and I practically stood there watching all my arguments against said pets, flying out the window. (OK, I really only have one argument. I think their tails look like snakes, and that just creeps me out!)
This woman's testimony about pet rats, coupled with the fact one of Joshua's pet mice died yesterday and the other one has got to be going any minute now, has me fearing I will soon be inundated with requests for a pet rat. This is why I think I'm doomed. A reasonable sounding adult said she likes rats, and my kids heard her say it. We're going to have an empty cage soon! Pray for me friends! I need to be strong. I must resist the temptation to give in to this insane request. I cannot say "Yes" to a rat. Besides, what will my mother say if I tell her I'm going to let my kids have a rat??? She'll never come to my house again! (OK, perhaps that's the real reason I don't want a rat. I'm almost 36 years old and I'm still trying to please my mother!)

I want to thank those of you who were praying for me and the women to whom I spoke last night. It was a great evening. If you are interested, I would love it if you checked out my schedule and prayed for each of the groups for whom I speak. My prayer is always that God would prepare the women for what He wants to say to them, that He would bring hope and healing to their hearts, and that He would reveal to each woman the ways He is using her struggles for good. I have a group of ladies from my church to whom I send out regular prayer requests for my speaking, but I was so encouraged by the comments and emails I received from you about praying that I wanted to share my schedule with you so you could continue praying. Thanks so much!

Party Time!

When we decided to move, my kids were understandably sad to be leaving their school and friends. We didn't move very far though, and we assured the kids they could still see their friends. Even so, they wanted to have a party to say goodbye.
That is, they wanted to throw themselves a going away party. As in, while I was in the midst of packing our stuff, cleaning and fixing up the house to get it ready to put on the market, and dealing with my own feelings about moving, the kids wanted me to invite over all their friends so they could say, Goodbye. Call me crazy but I thought that was a really bad idea.
Fortunately I was able to think fast and I suggested rather than having a "Moving Party," we should have a "Moved-in Party." I told the kids they could invite their friends over to our new house, and that way everyone would know where we live. (And I could buy myself some time!) The kids agreed, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Well, as you know, we're in our new home. Starting about five minutes after we were here, the kids have been asking, "When can we have our 'Moved-in Party'?" This past week I was thinking about it, realizing school was just around the corner, and declared Sunday afternoon to be the official time for the Moved-in Party. I had the kids make a list of who they wanted to invite and I got on the phone to extend the invitations. We started brainstorming ideas for activities and went shopping to get some party supplies. (The shopping trip was another opportunity for me to be thankful that I have a creative and frugal daughter. She wanted to get a pinata for the party but we couldn't find one at the Dollar Store. The ones at WalMart were $15 and $16 and I just couldn't see spending that much money on something kids were going to destroy with a baseball bat. She said, "That's OK. I'll make one." So she decorated a brown paper bag and called it a pinata.)
Finally this afternoon, after a week of anticipating, fourteen of my kids' friends came over for an afternoon of games and fun. We had a three-legged race, batted the pinata, ate snacks, and played sardines. After the "organized" activities the kids gravitated to their respective groups (the little boys, the bigger boys, and the girls) and did their own things.
I walked in on the girls playing Truth or Dare and taught them how to play HaHa. (Did anyone else play that game at slumber parties?) The bigger boys enjoyed catching bugs, and Joshua thrilled them all by feeding Ring a moth. And the little boys climbed the trees and the sign in our front yard. It was a true joy to see them enjoying themselves so much.
In fact, Joshua just walked through the room and said, "This was a fun day."
Yes, some days I feel like I'm getting it "right." Some days the kids are happy with the things I do for them. Some days I'm a little more able to overlook the crumbs on the floor and the doors that keep getting left open, and I can just be happy that my kids are having fun. Today is one of those days, and I'm going to cherish it!