Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I Know I Need Help, But...

So, it was settled. I was struggling with depression and anxiety.

Now what?

My doctor recommended trying an antidepressant, and some counseling.

I knew I needed help. I wanted help. But, honestly? I wasn't so sure about taking the meds.
I don't have a problem with medicine, itself. I just didn't want to admit I needed it. I mean, I'd have to go to the pharmacy to get my preseciptions filled. And I used to work there. Those people know me. And they know what fluoxetine is. When I went to pick up my presecription, they would know I was struggling with depression.
And I didn't want them to know that.
I felt embarrased.

But I so desperately wanted to feel better.

So I agreed to the plan.
And my husband filled the prescription for me the first time. (Love him!)

"Mental Illness" isn't covered by our insurance, so counseling was going to be a financial hardship. But my doctor had an idea. She recommended a book for me, which she said had everything in it we'd be covering in counseling. I was overwhelmed with the size of the book, but she assured me I could skip parts of it. *whew!*
Amazon came to the rescue. I got the book really cheap, and started reading.

So, I was reluctant to admit my struggle. And I was reluctant to get the help I needed. But I did it.

And, wow, am I ever glad I did! I'll tell you what happened in tomorrow's post.

Karen

11 comments:

Anonymous said...

So proud of you!

Kelly Combs said...

I hope you will share the title of the book as well! Thank you for sharing about your struggles. It is a blessing.

happyhome said...

Cheering and praying for you friend!! Remember, you are on a journey THROUGH depression...you're not staying where you are! Keep looking for those red birds. Love you!

Wendy said...

Love how God provides just the right solution when we need it. So, SO happy you got the help you needed. :)

Heather {Desperately Seeking} said...

I hate the term mental illness. And I know how you felt about the meds... imagine how I felt when I got meds, they upped them, and then put me on a mood stabalizer on top of that? That right there made me depressed...

But I'm curious as to the title of the book? I'm hoping that I'm about to the end of the cycle for meds and that I can start weaning myself off them...

and thanks for sharing!

Ronel said...

can't wait to hear what happens next!

gianna said...

This is a great series! I look forward to tomorrow!

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

Karen, as you know from working the pharmacy....half the world is on Prozac. I'm thinking it may need to be in the water. I'd probably be taking it if I didn't have such a weird reaction to it. I'm all about medical therapy...it's how I make a living, you know.

Irritable Mother said...

Anon - Thank you. :o)

Kelly - The book title is in Thursday's post!

Angela - Thanks for your encouragement. You know, it was our email exchange which prompted me to do this series.
AND, I have an opportunity coming up to include this story in some women's retreats at which I'll be speaking. So pleased. Would appreciate your prayers as I prepare.

Wendy - HE knows what we need. And I trust Him completely!

Heather - Yeah, I'm not crazy about that term, either. But that's what 'they' call it. *whatever*
I just added the book title and link to Thursday's post.

Ronel - God is good. That's all that matters! :o)

Gianna - I'm glad you're joining me for it.

Leah - Yeah. I know. *wink*
I realized the 'half the world' phenomenon in retrospect. One of my duties at the pharmacy was to re-stock meds, and I remember putting 'fluoxetine' away. A LOT. But I didn't know what it was until, well, until I started taking it!
I notice a couple side effects, but nothing I can't live with. And NOTHING compared to the good it does for me.

Larie Writes-Proverbs 27:19 said...

Oh Karen, reading this testimony is so good for me because I felt the same way about not wanting to take meds and worried about what people would know, but I had to bite the bullet...

smooches,
Larie

Irritable Mother said...

Larie - And one of the helps the meds has been to me is bringing me to the place where I can choose to NOT CARE what other people might think. God is using the meds for good in me, and that's what matters. Not other opinions. Ya know?