Lessons From the Edge

If you know what to expect, you don't need to be upset when you get it.

I've been noticing something happening among people at Edgewood. A lot of them are very predictable in the things they do and say.
Like F. He tells the same stories over and over again.
I pretty much have them memorized - line for line.
And so does everyone else. *wink*

If you know F, you just know - within a few minutes of talking to him, he's going to start telling stories about his time in World War II. He'll tell the one about skinny dipping for a bath, the Japanese girl who spoke perfect English, and he'll remind you that in bomb disposal - you can never make a mistake.
Personally, I find his stories charming. But there are those around Edgewood - other residents, mostly - who get tired of hearing the stories. And they complain. They tell other people, "Oh, don't get him started!" And sometimes, they simply get rude in the things they say to and about F. He ALWAYS tells those stories. Why can't he just shut up?!

And those complaints got me to thinking.
Yes, it's true. F does ALWAYS tell those stories. You can count on it. And the way I see it, since we all know he ALWAYS tells those stories, we should expect him to do so. And if we know what to expect, it seems to me we ought to be mature enough able to make a rational decision about how we're going to respond.
For those who enjoy F's stories, the response is easy. Laugh along with him like it's the first time you've heard the story.
But for those who don't, it seems to me there's a choice. 1)Be annoyed, complain, and allow the situation to upset you. OR 2)Recognize this is something he ALWAYS does, realize he isn't even aware he's told you this story a hundred times already, and remind yourself hearing the story again isn't going to seriously harm you in any way. Let.it.go.

Oh, I know the complainers have their own memory issues, and that may play into their complaints. But the whole scenario got me thinking about life outside of Edgewood, too. How many times do we face situations with people in which we know exactly what they're going to do or say - we know what to expect? Yet, we allow ourselves to get upset and bent out of shape when they do or say the very thing we expected them to do or say!
For example, I have a certain relative who ALWAYS feels the need to tell me (or anyone with whom she is riding) where to turn, when to put on the turn signal, etc. and it drives me nuts!
But I have realized, since I know she's going to tell me to do what I already know to do...I can just expect it, let it happen, and move on. If we know what to expect, I think we would make much greater use of our time and emotional energy by planning a response which won't involve us getting into a fit. Ya know?

If you know what to expect, you don't need to be upset when you get it.

Among Friends

Four weeks from tomorrow Kathy Troccoli, Jennifer Rothschild, and Dr. Jeanne Porter King are coming to Trinity Church in Lansing for the Among Friends Conference.

And I.can't.wait!

The past few months have been busy for me, as I have been heading up the coordination of this event. And I know the next four weeks are going to be nuts, too. But to have a church full of women receiving the love, comfort and encouragement of God - and loving HIM in return(!) - is going to make all the effort soooooo worth it! That, and the fact I get to spend time with girlfriends at a hotel that Friday. No going home for this momma! Nope. Going home defeats the whole "get away" aspect of a women's conference. *wink*

Any of my Michigan friends who want to join this event, just email me. I can reserve tickets for you!

Six-Minute Attitude Adjustment

I was super tired Monday night and thought it would be a great idea to go to bed early.

After a few delays, I found myself in bed. Exhausted. (It was no longer what I considered to be "early" but I'd made it, and I couldn't wait to get some rest.) When I'd been asleep for maybe half an hour, I was awoken by a ringing telephone.
Of course, the phone is on my side of the bed, so I answered the call.
It was Joshua.
He was at school for rugby practice and needed a ride home.
Seems the kid who was going to give him a ride didn't make it to practice Monday night, and apparently no one else could give Joshua a ride home. Believe me, I asked!

So, at 10:22 I got out of bed to go retrieve my son. And I was not happy about it.
Why is my sleep being sabotaged like this tonight? Why didn't he tell me earlier that his friend wasn't at practice? Then I could have sent Brian to pick him up gone and picked him up earlier! Why did we even say Joshua could play rubgy? Practice starting at 8:30 is ridiculous!

Fortunately, by the time I had stumbled out of bed, put on my shoes and coat, gotten my keys and made it into the van, I had spewed out all my annoyed thoughts.
God spent the five or six minutes it takes to get to school reigning in my negativity, and leading me in a better direction.

As I drove I recalled a post I'd seen on Facebook earlier in the evening. It went something like, "You spend years wishing your parents would get off your back, only to realize later - they were the only ones who really had your back."
God showed me in that moment - I had a choice. And how I responded to my choice would cause Joshua either to want me to get off his back OR to realize I had his back.

When Joshua got into the van in just a few moments I could:
*lecture him about securing a ride before he got into a situation where he's stuck without one.
*remind him how tired I was and make sure he was suuuuper thankful I got out of bed, rather than telling him to WALK HOME.
*spout off about how inconsiderate it is to tell someone you have a ride home, when in reality you don't. And then just wake them up and expect them to come get you.

OR

I could:
*greet him nicely and ask how practice went.
*bite my tongue when I wanted to start lecturing.
*resist the urge to yawn dramatically, with the intent of evoking guilty feelings from my son.
*tell Joshua I was glad he felt safe calling and asking me to come get him.

The good news is, I chose the latter.
Joshua didn't need my lectures or my drama. He knew I wasn't happy about getting out of bed to go to school at that hour. I didn't need to reinforce his desire for me to get off his back.
As we drove home, I admitted to him the transformation of attitude I'd just experienced, and I hope he understood that his mom really does have his back.
And even as I reflect on the circumstance hours later, I am reminded and thankful for the ways GOD has my back. Oh, so thankful HE kept me from spewing tired, angry words at my boy!

Ten Years Ago Today

Hmmmm. I wrote about it in my 100 Things post. (Was that really 1255 posts ago???) Other than that blurb, I don't think I've talked much about it here.

But today marks the 10-year anniversary, so I'm thinking about it. And I feel like talking.

Ten years ago today I had brain surgery to remove a little portion of my brain which had been causing me to have seizures for about 18 years. Go ahead and read my 100 Things if you'd like more details. I don't need to re-hash them here.
Just want to reflect for a moment on the goodness and faithfulness of God!

The past 10 years saw me grow in the LORD, and my understanding of how HE is working in my life through my trials and struggles. This decade was the beginning of my speaking/writing/blogging thing. It was the time when light was shed on my sons' attention difficulties, and the ensuing years of struggle - turned growth. It was during this time period when I learned my own struggle had a name: depression. And it has been these past years when I have seen God taking me through that trial, as well.
The past 10 years have had wonderful highs and difficult lows, but God has been faithful at every turn.

I remember laying in recovery ten years ago today, having a HORRIBLE response to the anesthesia, actually asking God to take me right out of my body - because that's how terrible I felt. I'm glad HE made me hang in there through the pain. The past 10 years have been so worth it!

Have you ever taken the time to consider God's faithfulness over a span of something like 10 years?

Redeemed & Redeeming

Lessons From the Edge

We need to be built up.

Because so many residents pour out their hearts to me, my boss told me this week that she pictures me like Lucy sitting behind a sign which says, The Doctor is in.
Ahhhh, it's fine with me. I love being in a position to sit and listen to their stories. I learn so many good lessons and interesting things by listening.
But, honestly? Sometimes the stories just make me feel sad. Like B's Story.

B came to Bible study on Monday and I noticed his eyes tearing up a bit. Unfortunately, I needed to get home right away, so I wasn't able to stick around and talk with him. And I took Tuesday off, so I didn't see B again until Wednesday morning at exercise class.
He came in before anyone else and I asked how he was doing. That's all it took. B started to open up and tell me about feelings with which he's been struggling for a while. But then more residents came in for exercise, and B stopped talking. So after exercise was over and everyone else left, I walked over to B so we could talk some more.
He told me about his feelings of failing his wife. How he regretted the fact that work had kept him so busy it seemed he wasn't able to "be" everything his wife wanted him to be. And he talked about never ever seeing his own parents express affection to one another. I could only assume he had carried that model into his own marriage, and was now regretting it.
He told me about feeling inadequate as a son - the "110 pound weakling" who couldn't live up to his muscular father's expectations. He told me those feelings of inadequacy were deepened when his father (who worked at B's school) would tell him about another teenager at the school who was athletic - and whom B's father admired.
B told me he wasn't very good in most of his school subjects, and felt like a disappointment to his parents because of it.
And now he is left with an old body which is battling Parkinson's Disease, and he pretty much feels he'll be worthless for the rest of his days.

It broke my heart to hear this sweet old man reflecting on his life through the lenses of failure.
I wondered when was the last time someone spoke a kind, encouraging, uplifting word to him?
It sure seemed he didn't hear many of those words as a young boy growing up.
And I was reminded once more how powerful our words can be. Those spoken, and those withheld.

We need to be built up.

Who can you encourage with a kind word today?

Things that Make You Go, Hmmmmm...

A couple of nights ago as Brian and I were climbing into bed - listening to the cold wind blow around outside, thankful for our nice, warm blankets - he asked me an interesting question.

Brian said, "If Adam and Eve never ate that apple, do you think people in Michigan would walk around naked?"

Just the thought gave me goosebumps!

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Actually? If Adam and Eve never ate that apple, I think we wouldn't experience winter at all.
Oh, the snow is beautiful - to be sure.
But the extreme cold? It's got to be a result of the fall! *wink*

Unoffendable

Unoffendable

Is that even a real word?

My spell-checker doesn't think so.

It seems like such an impossible concept to me, I wonder why the word would exist!

But a conversation I had with a friend last week has gotten me to consider the idea.
We were discussing a misunderstanding which resulted in 1)a mutual friend becoming offended, and 2)the beginning of a rift which could have proved devastating - had Satan been able to run with the offense and wreak his havoc.
My friend said she thought we, as Christians, should be able to not become offended. That, somehow, we should be able to hear what other people say and - even if their words are disagreeable to us in some manner, or down right hurtful - not become upset about it.

And her words got me thinking.
*What if we were so confident in our identity in Christ that it didn't matter to us when someone else said we weren't "good enough" to be in their club?
*What if we were so secure in God's love for us that we weren't bothered by a particular person not liking us because of our stand on certain issues?
*What if we listened with so much grace that we heard the hurt in another person's voice, rather than letting their remarks hurt us?
*What if we had so much generosity in our spirit that we automatically assumed the best of another person's intentions, rather than the worst?

What if we really were unoffendable?

Two Out of Three Ain't Bad!

Matthew eats lots of apples.

I probably should just buy two bags every time I go grocery shopping, but that takes up too much room in the fridge. So I opt for a mid-week stop at the store.

Because Matthew eats lots of apples, and that second bag is always necessary.

Mind you, I am NOT complaining. I love that apples are his snack of choice!
The thing that bugs me is Matthew's habit of not throwing away the apple core when he's finished eating. It is not uncommon to find apple cores on the back of the couch, on the TV stand, on the end table, on the floor, or even on the seat of the couch. (You may want to watch where you're sitting if you come visit me sometime. *wink*)
So, the other day when I saw an apple core on the floor, I was quite sure I knew who was responsible for it. However, Matthew wasn't home at the time. I let out a sigh and walked over to pick it up. But - rather than throwing it away - I put it on a plate and set it in Matthew's bedroom. On his pillow!
Satisfied with my move, I told Brian what I'd done. He replied with a bit of a sarcastic tone, "I bet he still doesn't throw it away!"

I mulled over his comment for a moment and came back with, "Maybe so. But the apple core isn't on the floor anymore, and I didn't throw it away for him. Two out of three ain't bad!"

**************************************************************************************
BTW, I checked Matthew's room before I typed this post and didn't see any sign of the apple core. Maybe he did throw it away!
Of course, there is so much junk on the floor of his room I suppose the apple core could be hiding there somewhere. *eye roll*

Oh, Changing Weather!

Lessons From the Edge

What happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas.

I've heard the saying before, What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. But this week I am finding that statement isn't always true. And I suppose I'm part of the problem.
You see, we had a Vegas Party at Edgewood this week. And we had SO MUCH FUN, there is no way I am NOT telling everyone about it. So, what happened in Vegas for us - is getting broadcast all over the internet. hehe!
See for yourself!

Don't you wish you lived at Edgewood, too? *grin*

A Boy and His Snowman

My children had a snow day Monday. Bad roads in the early morning hours gave them a three-day weekend. And they were happy.
Besides laying around and playing plenty of video games, the kids went outside and made themselves a gigantic snowman. It was quite a process - involving a make-shift ramp for the mid-section, and breaking/re-making the top piece.
And since Joshua allowed me to post pictures of him last week, I felt obligated to post this one at his request.

My boy and his snowman!

Are You Worried?

I saw this quote on Facebook a few days ago, and just had to share it with you here.
Oh, how true it is!

If you prayed as much as you worry,
you wouldn't have anything to worry about.

Can You Help?

I have never done anything like this before - using my blog to ask for donations - but today I'm changing my rules. For this one time.

Many years ago, my older brother was dating a woman. I remember inviting the two of them to come to church with me and my family, and he said, "Oh! S would never step foot in a church!" (I recognized his use of her as an excuse... But also noted her disdain for church and all things God-related.)
In time they ended their relationship, though I often heard about the things going on in S's life. And I frequently wondered, What is ever going to come of her???
Well, let me just say, things got pretty bad. And at the bottom of her pit, S discovered God and His amazing grace and love for her. Brian and I were shocked when we met S years later - and found out she was the same S who had dated my brother. Only, she wasn't the same, because Jesus had made her into a new creation.

S and I have remained friends to this day, and I continue to marvel at the grace of God as He works in her heart and life. It's beautiful!
Well, this is S's daughter. She and her husband are facing a huge mountain right now, but I am confident it is not too much for God to handle. Will you please read her story and pray for her? And if God puts it on your heart, will you please make a donation to their fund?

Thanks so much!

A Firm Place to Stand

Lessons From the Edge

This week I have more of a concern than a lesson.
As I listen to the wonderful music played by our guests, and as I see the residents' faces light up while they sing along, I have to wonder, What are my children going to listen to when they're in a retirement home in 70 or 80 years?

I was recently sitting in the atrium with a resident, listening to a young man playing some big band tunes on the piano. E was all smiles as she told me she'd grown up listening to those songs. And we sang some of them together.
E isn't the only one who expresses these feelings about the old songs. Many residents tell me about the special memory they have with this or that song. And the smiles on their faces as they sing along is pure delight.

So,I'm a little worried about what my kids are going to do when they're retirees.
Somehow I just can't envision a group of 80 & 90-somethings sitting around a piano singing, I'd catch a grenade for you, Throw my hand on a blade for you, I'd jump in front of a train for you, You know I'd do anything for you. Oh, I would go through all this pain, Take a bullet straight through my brain, Yes, I would die for you, baby. But you won't do the same.

Am I crazy? *wink*

A Boy and His Dog

I was laughing as I watched Joshua on the floor with Mindy. He was playing with her as if he, himself, were a dog. He was on all fours, barking and bouncing around. I think she was really enjoying her friend!

Of course, as soon as I got the camera out - he stopped.
He said, "Mom! I'm 15."
Apparently that means I can't get video footage of him being "cute". *ahem!*

But he did let me snap these pictures. My 15-year-old little boy, and his dog:

He's taking driver's training now. He's becoming a giver. He's taking responsibility for schoolwork, and actually puts forth effort. (Not always in a stellar way, but he's improving!)
And as I watch my son playing with the dog, I almost don't even remember the struggles we had when he was a young boy. Almost.

So thankful for all God has brought us through. And His faithfulness which I know will continue throughout our lives.

Imagine This

I sat with seven of my favorite Edgewood residents yesterday and had a great Bible study.
We were talking about prayer. Specifically, about praying and not giving up.

1 Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. 2 He said: “In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. 3 And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, ‘Grant me justice against my adversary.’

4 “For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, ‘Even though I don’t fear God or care about men, 5 yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she won’t eventually wear me out with her coming!’”

6 And the Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? 8 I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth?”

Luke 18:1-8

We shared stories of the times we've prayed and prayed and felt like nothing was happening.
We addressed these questions, When you're being persistent in prayer, and it seems like God isn't doing anything, what do you do? and, When you're faithful in prayer and you trust God, and He says, 'NO,' does that mean He isn't faithful?
And together we agreed that God's timing is perfect. He's never late.
God's will is perfect. His 'no' is better than our 'yes'.
God's wisdom is perfect. He can handle what we don't understand.
Yet, we admitted - even with this knowledge - waiting is hard. Persevering in prayer can be hard.

Then God put a thought in my heart, and I said to the group, "Imagine this..."
Imagine you've come to the end of your life and you're sitting in heaven with God, and He speaks to you for the very first time. He says, Well done, my good and faithful servant. And you're expecting Him to say something about how you used your talents. But instead, He goes on to say, I saw you when you were praying. I heard you asking Me to intervene in your circumstance again, and again. I saw the tears you cried. I felt the pain in your heart, and I cared for you. I knew when you felt like I wasn't doing anything, but I saw you continue praying anyway. And when the time was right, I moved. I saw the faith you have in Me, and your perseverance in prayer. My child, you delighted My heart by your prayers of faith.

Can you just imagine being there? Oh! I want to delight my Father's heart with prayers of faith!

I am Not Who I Was

Lessons From the Edge

I really have no reason to complain.

Did you get out of bed today on your own?

Can you bend over and pick up something you dropped on the ground?

Do you remember the name of the city where you were born?

Could you tell me the names of your brothers and sisters?

Do you have enough strength in and control over your hands to make your bed?

A lot of the wonderful people I encounter at Edgewood each day cannot answer "Yes" to these questions. Yet they are thankful to be alive. To have people around who can help them with what they cannot do.
Oh, sometimes they are discouraged by their limitations, but mostly they smile.

Then I consider my life and the "troubles" I face:
*I don't want to get out of bed, but I can.
*I get frustrated by the trash certain family members leave on the floor. And I don't want to pick it up. But I can.
*I have too many responsibilities. Too many names and faces and dates and commitments to remember. But I can. Especially with the help of the calendar on my phone. *wink*
*I don't want to make my bed every day. (After all, I'm not the only one who sleeps in it. *ahem!*) But I can.

And after a minute or two of reflecting on these very basic things I can do, I realize:
I really have no reason to complain.

Stand-In Pray-er

Saturday night I went to bed and forgot to turn my phone off.

When I picked it up Sunday morning I noticed three text messages and started to read them.
They were really one message. One very long message - a late-night prayer request which had been sent by a friend.
As I stood there reading, I was feeling sorry that I hadn't seen the request Saturday night when my friend was experiencing her deep need. Though I know God is not bound by time, and my prayers for her Sunday morning would still be heard.
But just about the same time I had that thought, Elizabeth said something which made me smile. She'd heard three text messages come in Saturday night and wondered if it may be some sort of emergency. So she picked up my phone and read the messages. And she - my dear daughter, who didn't even know the woman sending the text - paused to pray. Because she knew God was listening, and He could do something about this woman's need.

What a delight to know my daughter is willing to stand-in and pray when I cannot. I love her!

I Turn to You

Experiencing some rough spots over the past 48 hours, and God used this song to calm my heart last night.

Praying it will be a blessing to you, too!

Listen!

Sunday was Joshua's birthday.
We had a family gathering at our house to celebrate, and while I was busy getting things ready in the kitchen Brian came in and asked for the camera. Honestly, I was a bit surprised by his request, as he isn't usually the one going around snapping pictures. But I told him where it was, and got back to my task.
Moments later, he came back into the kitchen and showed me this treasure.

That's my 95-year-old grandmother, surrounded by my children, my niece, and Elizabeth's beau. She was telling them about her life as a kid - about the differences between then and now. (I think she was throwing some stuff in there about not getting too over-loaded with electronics...) And they were hanging on her every word.
Or at least they were listening politely.
The main thing is, these kids were giving her their undivided attention, and she was loving it.

Who needs your undivided attention today?
What a blessing we give when we just listen!

HE Turned to Me

Lessons From the Edge

Saying, "See you tomorrow!" doesn't always mean you will.

It's a sad lesson this week. But an important one, nonetheless.

When I got into work Monday, everyone was bustling around.
The police had just left, and the paramedics were on their way. Because one of our residents died Sunday night in his sleep, I was told.
I was shocked. "D died??? But he's so - full of life!"

And he was.
Took daily walks.
Always met me in the hallway with a hearty greeting.
Wore a smile wherever he went.
And never had a harsh word for anyone.
D was a true delight.

But - just like that - he was gone. Went to sleep Sunday night, and never woke up.

One of the special things D did was looking out for G - whose husband recently died. The one at whose funeral I sang. D sat at their table in the dining room, and always made sure G had what she needed. Salt? Pepper? Butter for her roll? More water? D watched out for her. And at our staff meeting Monday morning, we all wondered, How is G going to handle this news???
I agreed to be the one who would tell her.
It took G a short minute to understand what I was saying, but once she got it she repeated several times, "But yesterday he said, 'See you tomorrow, G!' He said, 'See you tomorrow!' How could he be dead?"
I prayed with G. And we remembered together the hope we have for eternity because of what Jesus has done for us. His shed blood covers our sin, so we may be forgiven and restored to a right relationship with God when we receive Him. And that's a very good thing!
But the pain of earthly loss is real, and I couldn't overlook her sadness. Nor could I forget what she kept repeating. He said, 'See you tomorrow!' How could he be dead?

As I played her words over in my head this week I was reminded: None of us owns tomorrow. We aren't guaranteed another day. We can only be sure of this very moment. So living and loving in this moment is what we need to do. Because...

Saying, "See you tomorrow!" doesn't always mean you will.

He's Becoming a Giver

Many days it feels like the majority of my communication with Joshua begins by him asking, "Can I have...?", "Will you take me...?", "Will you get me...?" or in some other way asking for something.

Yet, when I have asked him to do something to help me around the house, my request has usually been met with scoffing, pouting, or simple refusal.
Such that I began responding to his requests in a different way. I began saying, "You know, Joshua, you're very good at asking for things to be done for you, but not so good at doing things for other people. You need to work on giving, not just taking." And, for the longest time, it seemed like my words went in one of his ears, and right out the other.
Fellow moms, you know what I mean, right?

In the past week or two I have noticed something happening in Joshua. Sometimes he opens his mouth and starts to ask a question, but then stops.
One day when he did this stop-mid-ask-thing, he proceeded to ask me if there was anything around the house I needed done. Well, yeah!
I told him the floor needed to be swept and washed. And he did it!
Then I told him there was some cleaning which was needed in his(!) bathroom. And he did that, too. Without complaining.
Then my son asked me if there was anything else I wanted him to do! (I couldn't come up with anything. I think I was too much in shock. *wink*)

At a loss for what else to say, Brian and I asked Joshua what was going on.
He said, "I'm becoming a giver."

Be still my heart!

Wait Patiently

I sat down last Tuesday to reflect on the year gone by, and pray about 2013.

This time of reflection has been a habit of mine for several years, and I really love doing it. Rather than a time to consider making "new year's resolutions," I like to think about the ways God has been active in my year - what He's been teaching me, how He's grown me, and the like.
Those of you who've been with me for a while may recall that God has taken me through a series of themes over the past four years. (Of course, I didn't catch onto it until the first year had nearly ended. Yeah. I'm slow. *wink*)
In 2009, the theme was TRUST.
In 2010, God's word for me was OBEY.
In 2011, He taught me about SURRENDER.
And I was convinced last year was going to be all about PEACE. Seemed like the logical conclusion to TRUST, OBEY and SURRENDER.

After reflecting on 2012, I still believe PEACE was the theme. It occurred to me, however, that most of the time PEACE was a conscious choice I made - rather than a feeling I experienced.
That is, most of the time I had to choose to be peaceful in the midst of circumstances which were anything but.
God continued to show me PEACE is the logical conclusion to TRUST, OBEY, SURRENDER. Even when I am not feeling it, I can choose PEACE because of what I know to be true about God.

And that is a very good thing!

As I sat in my bedroom with my journal and my thoughts, I began to ask the question, What next? And the phrase I'd been contemplating from verse 1 of Psalm 40 begged for my attention.

WAIT PATIENTLY.

It seemed like another logical conclusion:
*I TRUST God completely.
*I will OBEY what He tells me.
*I SURRENDER everything to Him.
*I will be at PEACE with His actions in my life.
*Because of these four postures, I am going to WAIT PATIENTLY for God to move.

Friends, I believe 2013 is going to be a wonderful year! Will you WAIT PATIENTLY with me?

Young Love

Oh.my.word.

They are so stinkin' cute!

Elizabeth and her beau. All smiles and laughter and happy to be together.

Elizabeth doesn't know it, but a couple of weeks ago I was reading over her shoulder while I was braiding her hair. She and Nick were texting, and it was all I could do to keep from breaking out in laughter.
See, Nick's mom and I were helping them get together the next day. (Since we live about an hour apart, we often "meet half-way" to swap one kid or the other so they can spend time together at the other's house.) Anyway, for whatever reason we were meeting half an hour later the next morning than originally planned. And this time delay was causing a certain amount of crisis for the two love-birds.
I couldn't quite read Nick's text, but Elizabeth's reply was, "They don't understand how vital it is that we're together!"
And that's where I almost lost it. Not that I am denying their affection, I just thought it so funny when I read her extreme statement. Because I remember feeling that way in my teens.

The truth is, I continue to be delighted as I watch this budding relationship. Delighted more than anything because of their desire to build everything upon their common faith in God. Their love is young now, but I have confidence that building their relationship upon God and godly principles will only make this young love mature into a beautiful thing. Whether that means a lifetime together, or a life-long friendship.

BTW, they're already talking about the lifetime together option, and are planning "all you can drink chocolate milk" at the wedding reception. Can't wait! *wink*

Cry Out!

Breaking Early

Lessons From the Edge

For years, everyone at Edgewood has been blessed to be in the company of a very precious couple. P and G have been married for 73 years and have lived at Edgewood for the past several. Yes - like so many others - P and G are my favorite residents!
P's health has been failing for some time, and a week ago Tuesday he passed on into the arms of Jesus. (He'd been yearning to go Home for so long!)
Monday was his funeral, and G asked me if I would sing. I'd gone up to their apartment last Tuesday to say goodbye to P, and at that time I knelt by his bed and sang Amazing Grace for him. She wanted me to sing it at the funeral, too.
And as I came to the last verse - singing about our eternity praising God in heaven - I was overjoyed to have nearly everyone in the church singing along with me.
The pastor closed with prayer, and then I sang one more time. Goodbye For Now, by Kathy Troccoli. It was a gift I wanted to give G and the rest of her wonderful family. To recognize their pain in the loss of P, but to remind them of the hope we have.

The hope of Forever.

It was a beautiful way to end P's service, and I was so happy with the peace God brought to people through it.
P was 96 years old. He and G have been husband and wife for 73 of them. Seventy-three and a half, actually. He will be missed tremendously.
But because of the gift of God through Jesus Christ, we know we're simply saying, Good-bye for now.

This Time, I Didn't Laugh

I've seen this picture on Facebook often, and I chuckle each time it comes up.
I mean, how many of us mothers - if we're being honest - wouldn't say there have been days we've wished we really could...?

But I recently entered a home and saw this very quote on a picture hanging in the entry way. Initially, I was going to chuckle at the silliness of the idea. But then I thought, How do the children who live in this home feel when they see that picture?
I don't know. Maybe the kids in that home have an exceptional sense of self-worth, and are incredibly confident in their mother's love. I hope so!
Maybe they're mature enough to understand the humor behind the statement, and realize their mother would never really want to keep them out.
But what if they don't?
What if they aren't?
What if that funny quote actually causes those children to feel like their home would be a happier place if they weren't a part of it?

Those questions in my mind kept me from laughing at the picture this time. Made me consider the importance of the messages we send our kids. Even if unintentionally.

I'm all for us moms sharing a laugh with one another. We need to know we aren't alone in our struggles, and I think laughing at them (the struggles, that is!) is a healthy way to relieve stress.
But decorating our homes that way?
I think there are better options.

Am I over-reacting?

Contentment

Monday night when we sat down to have family prayer time, Brian read from Hebrews 13.

Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have

Hebrews 13:5a

And we decided he could stop right there. Those 16 words gave us plenty about which we could think and talk!

We all agreed the "love of money" is not our personal struggle. But that "content with what you have" concept? Now, there's a challenge!
So we spent time talking about our greatest area of dis-content, and how we might be able to guard our hearts - so we might learn to always be content with what we have.
I recalled a statement I heard when I was in MOPS years ago. The speaker repeated over and over, "Comparison is the killer of contentment." It resonated with me then, and still rings true today.
Think about it:
*Your home is just fine - until you take a walk through that other neighborhood; where the houses are bigger, the yards are more manicured, and the fixtures are newer.
*Your wardrobe satisfies you - until you browse through several catalogs and see all the new items which marketing says you need.
*You're even happy with the quiet movie nights you spend with your husband - until your neighbor or co-worker tells you about the cruise she and her husband are taking again this year. Just like they did last year. And the year before that!

So we asked the question, If comparison is the killer of contentment, what can we do to keep contentment alive?
And the conclusion we reached was this: Give thanks for what we have.
Something very real happens in my heart when I start giving thanks. God brings me contentment, AND He opens my eyes to more things I have for which I can be thankful. It's a wonderful snow-ball effect of being content and thankful.
So, I've made a decision. The next time I start feeling discontent about working (because that was my "greatest area" in our discussion Monday night) I am going to give thanks to God. I'll start by thanking Him for providing me with a job I LOVE, and we'll see where HE takes me from there. I know it will be good. Because everything with Him is good!

Do you struggle with being content? What do you do to keep contentment alive?

Twenty Things I Did Right

At this very moment, there are sheets sitting on the couch.
Matthew was supposed to put them away last night after we folded them.

In the kitchen is an empty cake box on the counter, and the mixer is sitting there, too.
Elizabeth forgot to take care of them after she did some baking last night.

Also in the kitchen there are a few pans in the dish rack, which Joshua didn't take care of when he unloaded the dishwasher.

Honestly? Part of me wants to rant and rave about their inability to do a complete job.
I mean, seriously! How many times do I need to tell them to do what I've already told them to do. A hundred times!
How many times do I need to tell them to do what they ALREADY know they're supposed to do?

But something happened at work recently which is changing the way I'm going to approach my kids on this oversight.
My boss came to me about something I'd neglected to do. It didn't seem like a big deal to me, and I was happy to take care of it right away. But the way she belabored the point of the task needing to be done made me want to *nicely* yell, Did you notice this and that which I did? Have you seen this other thing I took care of? And what about that? Did you see that thing over there? Oh, and by the way, I had a feeling you were going to want this other thing to be handled soon, so I took care of it yesterday.
You noticed this one thing I didn't do, but have you seen the twenty things I did right?

Now it's my turn.
Matthew took the sheets downstairs and put them through the washer and dryer, just like he's supposed to. He brought them upstairs and helped me fold them, just like he's supposed to. And he put his own sheets back on his bed.
Elizabeth didn't ask me to make the cake. She did it herself. She rinsed the bowls and utensils which were used in the process. Looks like she even wiped the counter!
Joshua put away all the dishes which were in the dishwasher. Every plate, bowl, cup, lid, container, fork, spoon, and knife. All of them! And he did it without being told.

When I consider the things my kids have done right - particularly when I list them - my attitude changes about the things they haven't done yet. And I am thankful. My reminder to them to finish their jobs is going to be a lot more gentle now.
*Thankful for the fact that God even uses my frustrations to grow me.*

God is Faithful

Lessons From the Edge

GOD is all over the details.

OK, this is not a new lesson for me. God has shown me His involvement in my details many, many times. But He did it again this week, and I can't resist sharing!
I went into work Tuesday at 12:30. I immediately wrote a list of the announcements I needed to make and then went into the dining room to share them with the residents. Then, I checked my mailbox on my way back to my office.
In my mailbox I found a note which said MH had called to cancel for the birthday party we were having that afternoon - due to car troubles. And I'd just announced to the residents that MH would be there. Now, with less than two hours until the party, I was wondering what kind of entertainment I'd be able to conjure up. I can only tell jokes and sing silly songs for so long. They weren't going to be happy with just me. But, surely, there was not enough time to find a replacement! Oh, me of little faith.
I went back to my office and called MB. Explained my situation and asked if there was any way she could come play the piano and lead a sing-a-long during the birthday party in *ahem* less than two hours.

She said yes!!!

And the birthday party was a success.

Not to mention the fact that MB charges $15 less than MH, so I added a few dollars from my activities budget to my birthday party savings, went out the next day, and bought a Black Jack table cover for the Vegas Party coming up in January. Oh, happy me!

Has something unexpected come across your path recently? Fret, not!
GOD is all over the details.

A Shopping Surprise

Over the past couple of weeks, I have had a few opportunities to take Joshua shopping for clothes.
And I didn't cringe with every passing moment.
I didn't get frustrated.
Didn't agonize over looking for one.more.thing.
Why, I didn't even wish to be done - just for the sake of being done.

In fact, I think it's safe to say, I enjoyed taking him shopping.

There was a day - not too long ago - when I would never have thought I'd make a statement like the one above!

You see, my past experiences shopping with Joshua have been anything but enjoyable. We disagree on an amount to spend on a particular item. I think something should be good enough, and Joshua says it isn't. So we argue, both thinking we're right and the other is completely wrong, and I just wish the shopping experience would be over. (Pretty sure Joshua feels the same way in those moments.)
We usually end up getting one item and leave the store frustrated. And when Joshua asks me to take him shopping for something else in another week or two, I think, We just went shopping! How could you need more already?

So this time, we took a different approach.

We had Joshua make a list of everything he needs for the rest of the season. I looked at the list with him and gave him a dollar amount for each item, which I would be willing to spend on such an item. We added the numbers, and came up with his budget.
I explained to Joshua that he could use the money however he wanted. If he chose to spend $40 on an item for which we budgeted $20 - so be it. But that would be less money to spend on something else. Conversely, if he was able to find sales - which brought him under budget for an item - he could end up getting more clothing than he planned.
It was up to him. I wasn't going to say NO to any item he wanted. It was his budget, and he could use it however he wished. BUT, this budget was the only money he was getting. Period.

So we shopped. And, honestly? I never expected it to go as well as it did. My son rose to the occasion. He took ownership of the decisions, paid attention to prices, valued them - even, and seemed to understand the benefit of looking for sales.
At one store he was trying on jeans and when we were talking about a buying decision, Joshua admitted he didn't like them A LOT. They were just OK. I told him I only buy something which is just OK if the price is AWESOME. And that's all I said. Joshua realized these jeans were a few dollars over the budgeted price and chose to pass them up. (Found an under-budget pair which he actually liked at the next store!)

In the end, Joshua got all the clothing items he wanted (plus a couple extra) and had $8 left from the original amount we said he could have. So I gave him $8 cash and told him he could use it however he wishes.

I love happy endings.

Have you found a new way to do something which has been troublesome in the past?