Down for the Count

Annnnd, the sickness which has been plaguing all my guys has finally caught me, too.
Not sure when I'll be back to blogging...

But I am sure God is good.
All the time!

Finding Encouragement Here

Nations are in uproar,
kingdoms fall;
he lifts his voice,
the earth melts.

~Psalm 46:6

This verse has been riding in my pocket, and stirring in my heart for the past six days.
I have worked on committing it to memory.
I've studied the key words in their original language.
I have meditated and ruminated and appreciated and concentrated and anticipated and investigated but never once become irritated, rather found myself fascinated - by the way God speaks through His Word.

And in my sanctified imagination, I see a picture like this:
Nations are in uproar. That is, my soul hears threats and howling coming from afar. The menacing noise gets louder and closer. The intimidation grows in ferocity - until my heart can take no more.
Then, kingdoms fall. That is, my spirit crumbles under the weight of peril which has been lurking, stalking, seeking to destroy me.
But, he lifts his voice. And a thunderous blare as mighty as a hurricane - yet contained in perfect restraint - whispers, Peace. Be still.
And, just like that, the earth melts. That is, the terror which threatened to undo me is rendered helpless. The danger dissolves and is swept away - at the command of the One who guards my heart.
And I am safe in His keeping.

I pray this picture will encourage your heart, as well.

HE is Holding You

Lovely Moments

I swear, this volunteer role is just like having another teenager.

That is, I called Lovely yesterday morning to see if I could come over for a visit. But there was no answer.
So I called again in the afternoon.
Still no answer.
And I'm all, What's wrong? Why isn't Lovely answering her phone? She didn't tell me anything about going on vacation. Is she in the hospital? Why didn't somebody call and fill me in on her condition???

I mean, I tried not to think the worst, but I love her. And I couldn't get in touch with her.
She's always answered her phone every other time I've called.
The difference in this instance was troublesome to me.
But what could I do?
It felt strangely similar to the times my texts to a certain child have gone unanswered. And I've imagined that child in some predicament in a fishing boat somewhere. And I have scolded myself for worrying, but what else could I do? It feels like if there is no answer, something must be wrong.

I'm not the only mom afflicted with this jump-to-the-worst-conclusion disorder, am I?

Somehow, I made it through the rest of the day and evening. And I tried calling Lovely once more.
This time, she answered!
And said I could come over Friday afternoon to see her.
So my Lovely Moments are not lost.
Just delayed.

Remembering again, how important it is to cherish each moment.

There's Just Something Precious...

...about a sick boy.

I have a couple of sickies in my house right now. It started with Matthew (He stayed home from school Monday and Tuesday.) and now it seems to have moved on to Josh.
Except it hasn't left Matthew.
So, I guess it hasn't really "moved on".
Excuse the interruption. Just analyzing my word choice out-loud.
Er, in-writing.
Bahhh, there I go, again!
Anyway, poor Matthew has been practically coughing his lungs out for the past few days. He's spent lots of time in bed, and has been pretty miserable. And, somehow, the whole scenario makes me willing to do nearly anything for him - because he's just so precious when he's pitiful.

Like Monday afternoon, when I was sitting with my heating pad trying to relieve the pain in my back. Matthew plodded out of his room and asked how my back was feeling. "Eh, it's so-so," I responded. With a look of disappointment he said, "Oh, then I guess you don't want to go to Subway to pick up a sandwich for me." (He may be sick, but the kid still eats!)
Truth be told, he was right. I didn't want to go. Sitting with my heating pad felt so nice! But before I could get control of my mouth I heard myself saying, "It's OK. I'll go. You're sick."
And I went.

Then there was Tuesday.
I think I was laying in bed with my heating pad. (It has become my friend!) Must have been somewhere between reading a book and falling asleep, when I thought I heard a voice. But I was too groggy (or lazy?) to investigate. Then I heard it again and my conscience got the better of me, so I rolled out of bed and went to Matthew's room to ask if he had called me. "Yes," he moaned. "Can you get me a drink of water?"
"Sure," I said.
And I did.
Without even a bit of resentment for being dragged out of bed - because he is so darn cute when he's crestfallen.

Which brought me to Wednesday morning.
I was downstairs exercising (Very carefully, avoiding anything which would irritate my back.) when I heard Josh softly call out from his room, "Mom?" At this point, I didn't know what he wanted. Was he going to ask me what we're having for dinner? Did he want me to put something in the wash for him? Didn't he realize I was up early exercising because I had to get to church to do child-care for the moms' group, so I wasn't looking for interruptions to my routine??? But before I could voice my indignation (thankfully!) he asked, "Will you get me an ibuprofen?" and I realized - he wasn't feeling well, either.
Poor kid!
Of course I would get him what he needed. And wearing my leg weights up and down the stairs would do me some good anyway.
So I got the pill and a cup of water, and I didn't even mind walking into his smells-like-a-teenager room to deliver it. Because when my man-child is sullen, he's just so sweet.

OK, I am looking forward to both of them feeling back-to-normal, but I must admit: I kinda enjoy having them docile and thankful for their mom. *wink*

What do your kids do to tug at your heart?

My Wishes for The Shack

If you live in America and spend any time on social media, chances are you are well aware of the controversy among Christians surrounding the movie, The Shack. No?
I did my share of reading blog posts and movie reviews both in favor of and opposed to seeing the movie. I read the book several years ago and already knew there were theological problems with it, and after reading a number of arguments for not going to the movie - I decided not to go.

But then my husband invited me to join him and a group of friends for a showing and, well, I accepted the invitation.
Fully expecting to not be impressed.
However, as I sat through the movie I was impressed. Impressed by the beautiful portrayal of the gracious love of God. I honestly was grateful that I was there, that I had changed my mind about going. Because I saw representations of God knowing what we need, and meeting us there. I took in a tender scene depicting that Jesus cares about the pain we carry in our hearts - He cares deeply, and wants to comfort us. I cherished the picture painted of the Holy Spirit making beauty out of the mess that is us. These scenes - and many others like them - welled up within me feelings of thanksgiving and an attitude of praise to God for His amazing love.
And I thought it a shame that so many people would not come to this movie because of the negative reviews and "warnings" that it would lead people astray.
I thought it a shame for people to miss it, because it was so touching.

Yet even as my heart was wooed as I watched, I also had frequent feelings of disappointment. I was saddened by scenes which stopped short of presenting the gospel, and which missed opportunities to declare significant spiritual truth. That is, the movie did an excellent job of depicting the LOVE of God - and that made it touching. But it failed to display the HOLINESS of God. And if it had done that as well, I think the movie would have been powerful, not just touching.
I'm thinking of two scenes in particular, and if anyone were to ever re-do The Shack, these would be my wishes for redeeming them:
1) When the main character was with Papa and asked something like, "So You don't condemn sin?" And Papa replied something like, "Oh, sin is it's own punishment" (and I cringed in my seat) I wish Papa had said, "Oh, yes I do!..." and then had gone on to explain that sin is evil and must be punished. I wish Papa had told about how sin broke the perfect relationship which had existed between God and man, and brought death into our world. Oh, if Papa had made clear that the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23)
And 2) when the main character was talking with Wisdom and was struggling to be the judge, when he couldn't bear to chose to send one of his children to Hell and cried out, "No! Send me instead!" oh, how I wished Wisdom would have gone into the gospel right there. I was yearning for her to say, "Don't you know? That is exactly what God did for you! He couldn't bear the thought of all mankind being condemned to Hell so He allowed Jesus to die in your place. Jesus took the punishment for sin which you deserved. He died and was buried so you could be forgiven. And God raised Him from the dead so you could have new life. Now everyone who believes in Him and takes Him as their Savior is freed from the grip of Hell and can look forward to eternity in Heaven."
I wish...

So, there it is. My response to the movie, The Shack.
I enjoyed it very much and was delighted by the beautiful picture it painted of the unconditional, unending love of God. But I wish it had also shown the undeniable holiness of God. I wish the gospel had been presented. If those aspects were included I would actively recommend the movie to anyone. As it is, if you choose to go - while I hope you will relish the love of God - please remember it is not an accurate representation of the Truth. Only the Bible can give you the Truth!

Lovely Moments

Whew! I didn't mean to go AWOL on you this week. But between life, intermittent back pain, and lots of naps - I just haven't been writing. Special thanks to those who noticed and checked in on me. *smile*

The good news is, I got to see Lovely yesterday.
I called in the morning to see if it was a good day for a visit and Lovely told me she had company at the moment, but would be free in the afternoon. So we made our plans and said Good-bye.
Well, when I knocked on her door in the afternoon and walked into her apartment I discovered someone else there with her. "Oh! You still have company!" I said. But they welcomed me in to join them.
Turns out it wasn't the same company she'd had when I called. It was a man who lives in her apartment complex who had stopped in after lunch to visit. (A budding romance? I dunno! *wink*)
Anyway, the three of us sat and talked for the next 45 minutes and had such a nice time.
Her guest was just delightful.
Yes, Delightful. That's what I'll call him.
Over the course of our conversation we talked about everything ranging from Tiger baseball and Michigan State basketball to using our hands as a Michigan map to raising kids and following Jesus. I even found out that Delightful attended the same church I've been a part of for the past 23 years. Now he goes to services at the chapel in their apartment complex. And we agreed that this Sunday morning he ought to knock on Lovely's door and take her along with him.
It was true joy to spend time with both Lovely and Delightful, as we shared thoughts and memories and plenty of laughter. Didn't get to the Bible study I had brought to do with Lovely, but that's OK. Next week I'll bring three copies. And if Delightful is there again, perhaps the three of us can go through it together!

What's the Opposite of Anxiety?

Lovely Moments

Late in the morning yesterday, I called Lovely to see if she was up for a visit from me in the afternoon. But I could tell from the moment she said, "Hello," that she wasn't feeling quite right. She told me she had just gotten up, and was a little confused - so I promised to call back later, and said good-bye.
And when I contacted her again two hours later, Lovely said she was still in her night-gown. Laying on the couch. We agreed that a visit would be better on another day, and I hung up the phone - a bit concerned about my new friend.
I mean, having had Grandma live with me and observing her many ups and downs, I fully understand what it's like for an elderly woman to have an off-day. But I've only ever seen Lovely "up". So hearing her "down" tugged at my heart.
And I interpreted that tug as a nudge from the Holy Spirit to pray for her.
So I gathered a list of some of my current prayer requests and went into my room where I spent time with my Father. I entered into time with God by praising Him for who He Is, thanking Him for what He has done, and recognizing that I can trust Him at all times.
For all things.
I prayed for Lovely. I prayed for the members in my church small-group. I prayed for my Precepts sisters. I prayed for my family and several friends. It was an absolute delight to bring these many needs and concerns to the One who knows all things, and who can do something about them.
Then I lay down to take a nap, because I was exhausted.

And when I woke up I realized: even though I didn't get to visit Lovely, I had some very lovely moments!

I'm a Dork

What did Cinderella say when her photos didn't show up?
Some day my prints will come.

Why do dragons sleep during the day?
So they can fight knights!

What did the paper say to the pencil?
Write on!

Ahhhh, jokes like these make me laugh so hard. I love them! And I enjoy telling them, too. Especially to my boys. But they just roll their eyes at me, snicker, and moan, "Mmooooomm."
I don't understand.
I mean, haven't I raised them to appreciate a clever pun???
Or do they simply think I'm dorky?

It's hard to tell.

See, I like to have fun with them. But it can be difficult to discern whether or not they think I'm funny.
For example:
*The snicker when I tell my jokes. Is it at the joke - because it really is funny?
Or, is it at me - because I'm a dork?
*The fake laughter when I tickle Josh's feet which are hanging over the side of the bed. Is it because my teasing really does "tickle" him?
Or is he laughing at me because I think I'm being funny?
*The yelp Matthew lets out when I sneak up behind him, poke his sides, and call out "Shank!" Is it because I have truly startled him?
Or is he just playing along so I'll think I got 'im?

I don't know.

But in the end, I guess it really doesn't matter to me very much.
Because the other day after I had folded the laundry and was delivering it to each owner's bedroom, I caught a glimmer of satisfaction. That is, Matthew was laying on his bed when I got to his room, so I picked up a pair of his socks and threw them at him.
Landed right under his chin, caused him to startle, and I let out a hearty laugh.
He proceeded to semi-glare at me, then did his classic point-wink-smile gesture - which told me he noticed my effort at humor and recognized that I can be fun(ny).
And even if they do think I'm a dork, I'm OK with it. Because I trust that someday (Perhaps the same day they realize I "knew what I was talking about," after all.) my boys will look back fondly on my teasing and joking and remember the good ol' days.
Maybe they'll even share my corny jokes with their own kids!!??
*wink*

What do you do to have fun with your kids?

Who is "Her"?

God is within her, she will not fall;
God will help her at the break of day.

~Psalm 46:5

It's March 1st.
Time for me to begin the next verse in Psalm 46.
And as I looked at the verse, my very first question was, Who is "her"? Because the psalm started out in the first person, talking about "our" (v.1) and "we" (v.2) and now it has switched to the third person. So I wanted to get my bearings before I went any further.
Looking back at the previous verse (and because there is a hard break between verses 3 and 4) I felt confident "her" was in reference to either the river, or more likely the city of God. And my consultation with several commentaries confirmed it: everyone with whom I conferred believed the reference was made to the city of God, to His people. The Church. And we are the Church who have trusted in Christ Jesus - who have His Spirit living in us.
Indeed, God is in the midst of us and we shall not fall. Because God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. And He will help us at just the right time.

Sooooo, my friend, what does your landscape look like today?
Are the waters surging?
Is the ground quaking?
Fear not! For if you are a follower of Jesus, you are "her" and God is with you!

When Phones Aren't Allowed at the Table

Like most moms, I am a stickler for not allowing phones at the dinner table.
And, like most kids, mine challenge me on that ruling almost daily. (Or would that be "eveningly"?)
I cannot count how many times a certain man-child of mine gets up from the table to, oh, throw something in the trash or fill his glass with more water or whatever - and "happens" to notice something on his phone as he walks past it, to which he just has to respond right now. Because if he waits another 10 or 15 minutes until we're finished with dinner, well, something terrible might happen!
If I could count the number of times a scenario like that has occurred, I could also tell you how many times I have threatened to destroy hide keep the phone in my possession for all future meals. *ahem*
Anyway, I value the limited time we have together anymore, and I don't want it to be ruined by needless interruptions.

Which is why I got my phone out the other night during dinner.

Because my guys were having fun around the dinner table, and I wanted to record the memory.



One of them (probably Josh) grabbed the foil which had been covering our dinner while it baked, and made a ball of it. Then he threw it at Brian's water glass - and waited to be reprimanded. (I think. I mean, that's usually what I would do. Josh, don't throw things at the table. You could knock something over. Yada, yada, yada.)
But instead of going down my typical road, I watched as Brian picked up the ball and threw it back at Josh - aiming for his glass.
Thus began the challenge of seeing who could actually make a "basket". And I thoroughly enjoyed seeing my guys enjoying time together at the table, not in a rush to be excused and run off to some other activity. Just content to play.
It took quite a while, but amidst much laughter and smack talk (as well as some serious horse play) each of us eventually made several baskets. (Yes. I got in on it , too. I mean, if I'm going to let it happen, I might as well have fun with them, right?) And, in spite of allowing my rule to be broken about not throwing things in the house, I was simply delighted in the fun we had without any phones at the table.

Be Bold with Grace

Lovely Moments

I visited Lovely again yesterday.

And found more reasons to love her. *smile*

What a dear and precious woman she is.
We talked about everything from crossword puzzles to our changing perception of "old".
I'm the big 9-0, you know, she says.
Yes, I know, I say. Goodness, that means I'm only half of you!
And she laughs, Oh! You're so young!
I found out she likes my kind of jokes, which is a good thing. Because I'm full of 'em, and cannot always control when they come out of my mouth. By the way, do you know the difference between George Washington and a duck? ***One has a bill on his face, and the other has his face on a bill.***
Lovely liked that one.
We discussed smoking, why one should quit, and the reasons quitting is so hard. (Her husband died 18 years ago. Three months after he'd quit smoking. Lovely is convinced if he'd quit 30 years earlier, he would still be with her. They were married 52 years, and she misses him.) And she told me about her best friend who recently passed away - who she also misses dearly.

But the focus of our conversation during this visit was dancing. I think she brought it up, and I told her that Brian and I are taking dance lessons. Oh, that got her excited. She asked what kind of dancing we are learning and when I told her "East Coast Swing" - and that it works well with big band music - her eyes lit up even brighter. Of course, then I mentioned that Brian and I choreographed the bridal dance for our wedding reception (Totally Brian's idea!) and I sang a little of the song for her. By that time, Lovely was shimmying in her seat and said she felt like going dancing.
She proceeded to tell me about the dancing she did as a young woman, how she and her husband would go to Coral Gables on the weekends to dance, and that she never took lessons. Just learned it on her own. Lovely thinks dancing is a wonderful activity - it's good for exercise, provides great memories, and is clean fun. She doesn't think her children dance. (Told me that a few times. *wink*) But she is of the opinion that everybody ought to.

And there you have it. Wisdom from the ages.
I am not sure what we'll discuss next week, but for now? Grab your dancing shoes and get moving!

Ahhh, the River

I've been learning Psalm 46 this year.
Presently, I am memorizing and meditating on verse 4, and I feel like we've turned a corner.
That is, for the first three verses there has always been mention of turmoil of some sort.

1God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 2Therefore, we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 3though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging.

I mean, it isn't that the mention of turmoil has been necessarily bad. Because of the Truth that God is present in it. He is our refuge and strength, so we need not fear. That's all been a good thing!
It's just that I've been watching and praying for a friend whose life seems to be filled with one quaking mountain after another lately. It's heart-breaking. (And I'm not even the one going through it!)
So, while it is encouraging to know God is present in the midst of the pain, while our hearts may be strengthened with the knowledge that we need not fear - the trouble gets tiring. And I find myself asking at times, God, when will this end???
I think that's why I felt peace when I got to verse 4.

There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells.

With all the previous talk of mountains falling into the heart of the sea, and the roaring, foaming, surging waters, something about the mention of this river and its streams makes me want to run to it and splash around. To savor the peace that seems to be associated with it. And my heart is glad.
With this image, I am reminded that there will be an end to the troubles we face. There will come a day when we have no more pain, when we will cry no more tears of sadness, and our sorrows will all be gone. We will dwell in that holy place with the Most High. Never again to long for His presence because HE will be so present! Oh, what a wonderful thought.

Part of me is tempted to look ahead at the rest of this psalm, to see what's next and discover how it ends. But I will fight that urge. And, instead, I am going to enjoy the rest of the month basking in this peaceful thought of splashing in the River.
****************************************************************************************************
It isn't too late to join me in this Psalm. I am starting a new verse on the first and fifteenth of each month - memorizing it, and thinking about it throughout each day. It would be a joy to share the experience with you!

I Wish I Was There

Yesterday when I turned my phone on, I had this message from my daughter waiting for me:

I miss having a mom in the house that will sometimes pick up my mess when I'm too tired to do it. Unfortunately, I go to bed knowing that in the morning, the kitchen will look exactly how I left it.

I smiled at her sweetness, and thought about the conversation we'd had this past weekend. My girl is in the thick of classes and looking for an internship for this summer. And she isn't feeling like she has any of it under control.
Rather, she's feeling quite overwhelmed by it all.
Especially the unknowns.
And in moments like this when she's tired and overwhelmed and feeling a bit disheartened - while I know I can pray for her - I really wish I could just be there. To clean up her kitchen, and do her laundry, and buy her groceries, and anything else she might need.
Oh, and to sing her songs at bedtime, like I did when she was little.
In moments like this it's hard for me to remember that my little girl is a grown-up and is learning to handle life on her own. Because just like she misses having a mom in the house, I miss having my girl.

But she's there, and I am here.
She's growing up, and I am learning how to let go.
And my mother's heart is thankful beyond words that my Father - her Father - is there and here. Growing her and helping me. Holding us both, and always hearing my prayers for my girl.

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.

~Philippians 4:6-7

When it's the Right Time

I Have a New Friend

Two years ago at this time, I had just begun a new adventure.
I left my job as an activity director and welcomed my 97-year-old grandmother into our home.
It was a delight.
It was quite difficult some times.
It was the right thing to do.
There is absolutely no way I could have done it alone.
And because of an organization called Great Lakes Caring, I didn't have to.
Grandma had weekly visits from a Registered Nurse who was full of compassion and was always ready to answer our questions and offer help. She had twice-weekly visits from a home-health aide who helped her with showers - and was also full of compassion. Grandma received visits from a social worker, Chaplain, and case manager. And even had weekly massages!
In addition to all that, while Grandma received care from Great Lakes she also was matched up with a volunteer who visited regularly and always lifted Grandma's spirits. How many times did I hear her say, "That Jenny is such a nice girl!"?
Soooooo, because I am so grateful for the blessing Great Lakes was to us, and because I believe strongly in their mission, I have become a volunteer like Jenny! Even have my own official badge:

And yesterday I met my match for the very first time. She is just lovely!
In fact, I think that's what I'll call her here on my blog.
Lovely.
Yes. That suits her just fine.
I have a new friend named, Lovely, and I look forward to sharing her with you on Fridays.

What is Your Goal?

Goals?
Ugh.
I'm just not good at them.
Setting OR keeping them.
Though, if I am not good at setting them, I suppose keeping them is a moot point. *wink*
Brian used to ask me on occasion, Where do you see yourself in five years? What do you want to be doing in ten years? How do you want to spend our retirement years?
And my answer was always the same: I don't know!
So, last week as I did my homework for Precepts, and this question was posed: "Honestly, what are your goals in life?" I was stumped.
As in, I thought, Really, Kay? You're going to hit me up on this, too???
But then I re-read the verses I had just been studying.

Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

~Philippians 3:13-14

And I realized therein was my answer to the question. Really, I just want to be like Jesus - loving people, speaking and teaching the Truth, serving as He served. Whatever God calls me to do, whoever He is making me to be - that is my goal!
In this moment, the ways that goal seems to be fleshing itself out is via speaking for moms' groups and women's events, Sunday school with my 3rd and 4th grade girls, a couple of volunteer opportunities I'm discovering (More on those at a later date!), and simply serving my family. These are the places God has led me to, and these are the places He seems to be growing me. Where I can be His vessel. Where I can extend grace and show compassion and point to God. And as much effort as I put into it, I cannot think of anything I'd rather be doing. I cannot come up with a higher goal.
I just want to be who HE wants me to be, doing what HE wants me to do.
And if that happens to involve a calendar full of speaking events and opportunities to sow into the hearts of women? Maybe writing another book? Well, yee-ha!

How about you? To what do you aspire?

When I Was Your Age

How many times did you hear that phrase when you were growing up?

If you're anything like me, every time those words hit your ear drum you promised yourself, Yeah, well when I'm you're age and I have kids of my own, I'm never going to say, "When I was your age..."
And, again, if you're anything like me - You've broken that promise more than a time, or two.

Like I did yesterday.

Josh was telling me about a problem he has with the windows in his Jeep. Apparently, they don't open.
I asked him, "Didn't Dad fix that last summer?" Josh confirmed he did the repair, and told me it was an intermittent problem. "Maybe something in the window is just frozen?" I suggested.
And he looked at me as if to say, Yeah, Mom. Like you know anything about my Jeep.
Or more likely he was doubting my ability to know anything at all. *ahem*
So, I had to tell him. I mean, he practically forced my hand! And I complied as I explained that when I was in college and had my first car *read that: When I was your age* I had an intermittent problem during the winter, too. That is, one morning I opened the driver door to get in, but it wouldn't stay shut. And since I had to get to campus for class, I got a rope or something and ran it through the handle on the door and around the seat - and tied the door shut.
Not the safest way to drive, to be sure, but you do what you've got to do, right?
Well the thing is, when I got to campus and got out of my car - the door stayed shut! And that's when I diagnosed my problem. Something inside the door was frozen, and the drive to campus warmed the car so the frozen thing thawed and worked again. Thus, dear man-child of mine, I do know something. Maybe something in the window mechanism is wavering between being frozen and not. And that's why sometimes it works, and other times it doesn't. I mean, it could happen. Because it happened to me when I was your age. But I drove my car, anyway. (Up hill, both ways. Through three feet of snow, without shoes.) And I was thankful!
Er, I got a little carried away with that last part. Seems like that's what my mom always said about walking to school anytime I complained about something - when I was his age. *wink*

ASK

When a Home Makeover Becomes a Heart Makeover

If you see me babying my right arm, don't worry. I'm OK.
You see, I did a lot of painting yesterday. And since I am not ambidextrous - well - my right arm got quite a workout. So it's a little sore now.
But so worth it!
Yeah, because in addition to good progress being made on the house we're getting ready to sell - oh, did God use that time to continue His good work in my heart.
See, the thing is, I wasn't actually excited about going over to the house to paint. That is, I would have rather done just about anything else. I mean the house is dirty, no one else would be there to make the work seem like it was going faster, I'm always cold when I'm there, I was doing just fine taking care of laundry and other chores in the comfort of my home, and - quite frankly - I really didn't feel like getting paint all over myself. (Always happens, no matter how careful I am...)
But guilt had the last say, and I left what I'd rather to do accomplish what I ought to do.
There. I said it.
Anyway, as I was painting I received a text message from an organization for which I pray. The text was to alert me to pray for emergency housing for two very young children and their mother who are facing immediate homelessness. So in my heart I was suddenly joined by a frightened and desperate family, and I began praying for them. And after a couple of hours of painting and praying, I packed up and started for home. That is, I lugged the vacuum cleaner down the stairs, turned the heat down (Yeah, that part about always being cold when I'm over there? Easily fixed by cranking up the thermostat.) and made a couple trips to the van to load everything up.
The back and forth outside got me quite chilly again, so I turned up the heat in the van - and that was just about the time God's Spirit got through to mine.
It was as if He said, Do you realize what you just did, dear? It was so easy for you to solve your problem of being cold. I acknowledged that it was, indeed, easy. And then He brought that family back to my mind. The one I'd been praying for while I was begrudgingly painting the house I didn't want to paint. The one who currently doesn't have a home. Who probably would be delighted to stay in that house - in spite of the mess, and the need for new carpet, and the in-the-midst-of-repair-walls-which-also-need-paint, and the chill in the air. Because the furnace works, and makes the house toasty.
My very next thought was the recognition that I am way more fortunate than I realize. I was driving my van across town from the house I used to live in to the one in which I currently live. I was driving - not walking, or taking a bus, or looking for a ride - and I was warmed by the heater, and I had ingredients waiting for me at home with which I would make dinner for my family. My family - which may be imperfect, and may have struggles, but we're healthy and we're together. I have the resources to buy gas for my van, the physical ability to climb on chairs to paint high places - not to mention the ability to lug a vacuum cleaner up and down stairs, from one house to the other. Yeah, and I have a really great vacuum cleaner. Even that's got a wonderful God-story behind it!
In my moment of clarity I began to understand that God was willing my thankfulness and gratitude into being. I had been wallowing in a pit of woe-is-me, I-have-to-do-work-I-don't-want-to-do and was fully neglecting my need to be thankful.
(And, yes, I believe it is a need.)
Because when I'm rolling around in self-pity all of my focus in on me, my troubles, and how "bad" I have it. But when I start being thankful my gaze shifts upward. I start looking at God and recognizing how generously He has provided for me. When I give thanks to God, I am reminded of His faithfulness - and I remember no matter what I have, or do not have, God is good.

Oh, how I want to live with a thankful heart. Every moment of every day.
Because God is good. All the time!

What I Wish I Would Have Heard

So the other day I was chatting with a friend on Facebook - via the comment section of her post. She was at our mutual dentist's office and I said something about liking the massage chair they have in the waiting room. I mentioned that I love sitting in it while Matthew is getting his ortho adjustments. Ahhhhhhhh.
And she replied that she wasn't able to enjoy it because she was "chasing the baby" - but realized she'll have a chance some day.
My initial reaction was to say, "Yes. You will." And then I was tempted to advise her to enjoy these moments because they'll go so fast. *Gag!*
Fortunately, before I typed such hypocrisy my memory took me back to a day at the pool when I was chasing kids. When I was looking longingly at the moms who got to sit around enjoying one another's company, seemingly relaxed and care-free. When one of them said to me, "Your time will come," and I didn't feel consoled by her words.
I remembered another time when an older mom tried encouraging me (At least, I think she was trying to encourage me.) by saying, "Oh, we've all been there." Except rather than being encouraged, I felt like her words were telling me I needed to suck it up - because I wasn't the only one who ever went through whatever I was going through at the moment. (In retrospect, I understand that was the faulty thinking of my depression.)
In light of these memories I paused before I finished typing my response. I didn't want to say anything which might in some way discourage or discount my young-mother friend. So I asked myself what I would have wanted to hear at that moment if I were in her shoes.
And I wrote, "Yes. You will. Until then, I pray God will give you the grace to stay in the moment and trust Him through each one." Because even as I wanted to encourage her to not wish these days away, I understand the desperation one can feel when it seems like "this" will never end. And I wanted to direct her gaze toward God as the One who will help her through every "this" she encounters.
Because I have been through a lot of "this."
And I have found that HE is faithful!

Hmmm. After writing these words it occurred to me that someone reading them - even now - may be in need of the same encouragement. If you're the one, I pray God will encourage you with the knowledge that HE sees you, HE knows what you're facing, and HE will be faithful to see you through it. May God give you the grace you need to stay in the moment and trust Him through each one.

How Should We Respond?

Have you noticed the unrest in our world today?

Heard about the arguing and resistance going on in Washington, D.C.?

Read any articles, or watched any reports about President Trump's Cabinet appointees?

Have you wondered what you can do???

As I scrolled through angry and concerned posts (about Betsy DeVos's confirmation) yesterday on Facebook, I commented one thing:
Let's pray for her, asking God to give her wisdom and to work good through her.
Regardless of our political affiliations or our feelings about the men and women in office in our government, I hope as brothers and sisters in Christ we can agree on one thing.
God is sovereign.
And if God is the One who is holding this world together, I hope we can agree to trust Him above our political leaders. Furthermore, if we are trusting Him over our political leaders it seems most reasonable to me that we ought to bringing them to Him in prayer. We ought to be petitioning God to work in and through them, according to His good pleasure and purpose.
And if we can agree to trust God and pray for our leaders, maybe we can find a way to exist in harmony with one another.

Never Give Up

Full disclosure: I am not a big football fan. I had nothing riding on the Super Bowl. Didn't even know who was playing in it until I asked the girls in my Sunday school class this past weekend. And, going into the game - I didn't care who won.

Having said that...

What a great football game!
Er, more appropriately, what a great fourth quarter and overtime period.
Like I said, going into the game I didn't care who won. But I had heard something recently about Tom Brady being in or near his last season, because he's old. (*Gasp!* He's six years younger than I am. But knowing that he's old like me kinda gave me a soft spot in my heart for him.) And I heard that he could set some kind of record for the most Super Bowl wins, or something like that. And my softened heart thought it would be great for him to make that achievement. AND, I'm a sucker for the underdog. So when the Patriots were so far behind, well, I really started pulling for them.
In the midst of my rooting for the underdog, I had to answer to my son who had completely written them off. I kept telling Matthew there was still hope. That as long as there was time on the clock, there was still a chance for them. I told him this was a perfect example of why you should "never give up."
And he rolled his eyes at me.
Which made the result of the game even sweeter. *wink*

Motherly sarcasm aside, Sunday night's game really did make me smile. To see a team come from so far behind - when any reasonable person would have said the game was as good as over - just blessed my heart. Maybe because I think it is such a great lesson for my teenage son to learn as he gets ready to engage this great big world on his own.
And, maybe because I have been in so far behind myself.
So far behind plagued me as a young mom, trying to get a grip on raising kids.
Still haunts me now as I attempt to navigate parenting adult-children.
Some days I feel like the game is as good as lost.
Do you???
Thus, my sentiments for this year's Super Bowl victory.
I am reminded that we need to keep trying. As long as there is still time on the clock, we have a chance. We're only defeated if we throw in the towel.
So, fellow mothers-in-the-trenches, huddle up and let me hear you say it.
Never give up!!!

Even Though

Confessions of a Dependent Woman

I had lunch with a new friend yesterday.
We've met face-to-face a couple times, been Facebook friends for quite a while, and done our share of texting. But this was the first time we were able to spend any significant time together in person. And what a joy it was to watch God at work - breaking down walls and opening hearts.
See, this dear woman has been through some rough stuff in her life and is therefore a little gun-shy when it comes to trusting people and forming friendships. In spite of that fear, she felt comfortable being open with me and sharing her true self. And when she expressed her own surprise at how much she was sharing - because she believed I was "safe" - I suggested what I thought may an explanation for why she felt that way about me.
When I was a young mother struggling to hold myself together, I was living a lie. Every day when I left the house, I wore a mask trying to convey that I was a perfect mother - just like I thought everyone else was. Although on the inside I was a mess, I tried to portray confidence and happiness outwardly. And, wow! Was that ever a tiring charade to play!!!
So I shared this confession with my friend and explained to her that, by God's grace, I got over trying to be who I am not. I told her that by His gentle (and sometimes painful) refining fire, He is transforming me to be more like Jesus - and that I no longer feel I must try/pretend to have a handle on life.
I am fully dependent upon my Lord. For everything!
"So, you see," I told her, "I know I don't have it all together, and I don't expect anyone else to pretend to, either. Maybe that's why I feel safe." After further conversation we agreed: Any "together-ness" we have, anytime we get it right, or live virtuously, it is only by the grace of GOD and all the glory goes to HIM.

Without HIM, I am a hopeless mess. But with HIM - all things are possible!

Dear God, I'm Sorry

The other day I was getting supplies together to go paint in a house we're getting ready to put on the market. Among those supplies was a plastic grocery bag. And as soon as I grabbed the bag and closed the cabinet door, I regretted my action.
Because Mindy came trotting over to me with a look of hopeful expectation.
And I wasn't going to grant her wish. (She thought I was preparing to take her out - as getting a plastic bag to, uh, be a responsible pet owner is one of the steps she knows comes before a walk.) Never mind it was too cold for a walk anyway. I had a job to do, so I apologized to my faithful companion for getting her hopes up - and I stepped outside.
Without her.
Yet I carried with me the very sad look in her eyes which cried out, But, Mom! I want to go with you. I want to go on a walk! Can't we spend time together?
And with the memory of her disappointed puppy-dog eyes, I found myself wondering if I've ever left God feeling the same way. How many times has He witnessed me picking up my Bible - as if I am going to spend time with Him in His Word - only to see me rushing through a reading, or so distracted by my circumstances that I am clearly not present with Him?
As much as I felt remorse at inadvertently getting Mindy's hopes up, it crushed my heart to consider the reality that I have grieved my Father's heart.
That I have left Him wanting for time with me.
Even wishing I would give Him as much attention as the task at hand.

Lord, Jesus, please forgive me. I am sorry for every time You have been graciously waiting for me to come and abide with You - to sit at Your feet and allow You to feed me from Your Word - and I have instead gone somewhere else. I am sorry for every time I have failed to notice You, forgotten to seek You, or simply brushed You off. Oh, that You desire to have me in Your Presence is too much for me to comprehend. That You - in Your holiness, would love me - in my imperfection. I cannot grasp the magnitude of that Truth, Father. Please, according to Your grace and mercy, establish me in Your love and enable me to cherish time with You as You cherish time with me.

When Wheels are like Wings

Well, poo.

I have this great picture of Matthew posing by his new (to him!) car, and for some reason my "server" is rejecting it every time I try to load it into this post. Not very good service if you ask me! *ahem*
I mean, I'm sure it isn't operator error.

Anyway, Matthew looks cute nice too stinkin' grown up next to his new car.
Or maybe that's just the way my mother-eyes see it.

That is, in many ways I still see him like this:

My little guy who follows his big brother around, drinking from the sprinkler, doing whatever he does.

But, alas, Matthew has ventured out on his own. Negotiated the financing with Dad, searched for the car he wanted, tested it out, talked it over, and made the decision.
He drove us to dinner Saturday night, drove himself to Meijer Sunday afternoon (To get air fresheners - because the previous owner smoked. And a snow brush. Gotta have a snow brush!), made his own way to school Monday morning, and went off to work Monday afternoon without needing to ask if he could use my van. He seems to be very much enjoying this new level of independence.

And it's moments like this - when a mom watches her youngest child driving off into the sunset (OK. There's no sunset right now. It's cloudy and gray and looks rather dreary outside. But that just isn't poetic!) that she realizes, sometimes wheels act an awful lot like wings...
*****************************************************************************************************
Well, how about that? I decided to try once more. I prayed, Please God???
And the picture loaded. *grin*

I'm a Luddite

Stop the Ride. I Want to get OFF!

Whew!

I'm a bit dizzy. Feel like I've been on some kind of roller coaster.
One minute I'm up.
And the next I'm down.
All is well.
And woe is me!
Yesterday it seemed to be going full-throttle.
I started off the day in prayer. And I started off the prayer time with praise - going through the alphabet and praising God for His attributes. HE is All-Knowing, BIG, Compassionate, Divine, Excellent, Faithful, Gracious... I delighted in dwelling on God's goodness and power and amazing love. I prayed for the many people and circumstances God has put on my heart, and I thanked Him for knowing what to do in each circumstance. It was a simply glorious time!
As the morning went on, I found myself reading articles and opinions of the political sort. Some people expressing relief and others disdain. There was grumbling and arguing. And I began entertaining thoughts and arguments in my own head about what is good and what is bad, what is fair and what is unjust. Part of me wanted to roll out my case for all to see, and another part of me said it would be foolish to do so and would just contribute to the chaos. So I kept silent on the outside, but inside I entertained thoughts of concern for the future of our world.
Thankfully, my morning also included the need to work on Precepts homework - which got me back to focusing on God. I studied about His desire to work in us and our role in obeying. I was reminded of God's holiness and perfection, and His Spirit inspired me to seek Him. Annnnnd, eventually I had to go and run some errands.
My return home meant a return to chores. As I was folding sheets and towels and putting them away, I noticed my spirit starting to grumble again. When the boys find their towels hung nicely on the rack like this, do they realize I have washed and replaced the towels? Are they thankful? Do they even care??? And what about Brian? Does he notice the clean sheets and towels? Every week? Right on schedule? Without any prompting or requesting? What about dinner.every.night? And all the other things I do around here all the time without being asked? Does anyone really appreciate me???
(I'm not even kidding. I honestly went through this monologue in my head. *blushing*)
Then I had to sit down and ask myself what was going on. Why was I all over the place like this? How could I be praising one moment and grumbling the next? What was happening to me???

God, in His goodness, wasted no time answering my questions. Because as I thought it through I could see: Every time I was "up" I was looking at HIM. And every time I was "down" I was looking at me.
I could sense His Spirit nudging mine and saying, This isn't a new lesson, is it, dear one?
And as I cozied up in His embrace my heart answered, No. It isn't. I'm getting off the roller coaster now.

Where is your focus today???

Ya Think?

Have you ever had (what you thought was) a really good idea?

A plan so inspired, you assumed it must have come directly from heaven?

But when you tried to put it into motion - even prayed that God would work out the details -
everything.just.stalled?

No?
Really???
Well, aren't you special.
Let me tell you what it's like. *wink*

A few weeks ago I started a new Bible study with my Precepts class, and as soon as we were underway I was super excited about it. I mean, I can't help myself. I love the Word of God, and every time I start studying it inductively and God starts speaking to my heart and His Spirit starts changing me, well I just get hyped and I want EVERYONE to study it with me! Anyway, as we were getting into Philippians I immediately thought of someone with whom I would like to go through the book one-on-one. Oh, to see this young woman learn about having joy in Jesus in all circumstances!
Yes, I thought, this will be wonderful!
My initial invitation to do the study was met with, well, uh, joy. But in subsequent days the enthusiasm and intention to follow through seem to have been lost. (And not from my side of the equation.)
I have attempted following up with the idea of doing the study together, but when my communication is left without response I tend to interpret the message to be, "I'm not interested anymore." And I don't want to push this young woman away, so I let it go for now.
Then, two of my Precepts friends asked me about the situation and as I was filling them in I also told them about recent thoughts which have come to my realization. That is, as we have gotten deeper into the study we have uncovered beautiful Truth - but it is hard stuff, and I am not sure this young woman is at a place in her life where she would be able to receive it as beautiful. God has encouraged me greatly through the gems He has shown. But I am not certain my young friend's heart is in the same place as mine. I fear the difficult lessons which I find to be wonderful would somehow cause her to want to distance herself from Him.
In short, I think she might not be ready for this brand of meat yet.
And as I was talking with my friends about these thoughts it occurred to me, Gee. Maybe God knows her heart. Perhaps He knows she isn't ready for this study just yet. It might be this really good idea was mine, not HIS. I suppose HE could be the One stalling my plans. Maybe, just maybe, God is perfectly in control of the details after all!

Ya think???

Harpagmos

Please, Take the Time NOW

Last week I told you about my regret in assuming I would have time to visit with a dear friend. Well, the same day I took our appointment for granted, I also speculated that I'd have time to visit with another dear lady when I went back to Edgewood in February to do church. She wanted to tell me about something that day but I was on my way out the door - and she "didn't want to keep me." I hugged her and said, "Next month I'll come early so we'll have time to talk, OK?"
Well, next month when I go back to lead the church service, I will have attended this dear woman's memorial service the day before.
Yes.
She passed away this week.
And it's crazy. Because she seemed perfectly fine when I saw her earlier this month.
But, again, I am reminded - We don't own tomorrow.

Oh, I know. We all have things to do. Busy schedules pulling us this way and that. But I cannot imagine I didn't have 10 minutes to spare to listen to a story that Sunday. (Which likely would have turned into 15, or 20, or 25 minutes. But, so what???)
I am realizing that relationships are so much more important than calendars. Life is uncertain. And the only moment we truly have is the one we're in right NOW. While some things can't be put off, most of them can wait. So let us resolve to take 10 minutes to listen. (Or 15, or 20...)
I believe it will be time well spent.

How to Help Moms in the Grocery Store

Have you ever been to a grocery store?
During any of your visits, have you ever observed a mom shopping with her young children?
Ever seen her scrambling to keep them in line?
Or frustrated, because she's failing?
Maybe you've been that mom?
Taking for granted that you answered "yes" to the first four questions, have you ever reached out and tried to give that mom a hand?

Monday when I was shopping for our weekly groceries I came across one such mom and her son in the meat department. I'm guessing Little Man had brought along a new toy. It looked kinda like this:

And he was using it to touch just about every.thing.
I could tell the mother was tiring of Little Man's propensity to pick items up with his grabbing toy. In fact, even if I hadn't seen her with my eyes, I would have been able to assess her emotional state by the weariness I heard in her voice.
From an outsider's view, I didn't think Little Man was causing any harm. But I could so relate to that mother. I knew she was feeling like the entire store was watching her, judging how well she could, or couldn't, control her son's behavior. Been there. Done that. Don't wanna go back!
And so, in an effort to let her know that Little Man's behavior wasn't bothering her fellow shoppers I leaned toward her and said, "Excuse me. I could use some help reaching something. Do you think your son could assist me?" When she got Little Man's attention and he came toward me I feigned being unable to reach a roll of sausage, and asked if he would please help me.
Oh, if you could have seen the pride in his face as he maneuvered that grabbing tool over the sausage, picked it up, and successfully delivered it right into my hand. It was a precious sight.
I then thanked Little Man profusely, gave mom a wink, and carried on with my shopping.

Annnnnnd, my point?

I have been grocery shopping without my children for about 12 or 13 years now. And I still haven't forgotten how difficult some of those trips were! As a mom who's been there I am prone to notice other moms who are there right now, and my heart goes out to them. But I don't think it's enough for just my heart to go out. Moms need tangible support. So my habit has become to watch for moments like the one I saw Monday, and to reach out in word or deed to give that mom encouragement.
Maybe it's a knowing smile and a whispered, "Hang in there!" Sometimes I talk to the kids and compliment them for being a good helper in the store. Occasionally, I get to do something fun like I did with Little Man.
The point is, all moms need encouragement - and maybe especially so when they're grocery shopping with the kiddos.
So, for the love of humanity and the well-being of future generations - when you're in the store please pay attention to the moms with children. If it looks and sounds like all is well, carry on. (Smiling at her and commenting about how adorable her children are would be acceptable, too.) But if she's getting frazzled and it seems as though angst is rising please extend a gentle gesture to let her know she isn't alone, and you aren't thinking poorly of her.
Your kindness will go a long way.
For her and the kids!

But GOD

You turned my wailing into dancing;
you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy,
that my heart may sing to you and not be silent.
O LORD my God, I will give you thanks forever.

~Psalm 30:11-12

Last week, God used someone else's tragedy to open my eyes.
This week - as the tragedy became greater - HE is using it to give me hope and remind me of HIS glory.

What began as a story about a family of four in an auto accident - with one family member killed and another in the hospital - has become an 11-year-old little girl left in a world without her big sister, her father, AND her mother. So many of us have been praying and asking God for a miracle while watching the heart-wrenching scenario unfold. And now we are left with what would appear to be a tale which cannot possibly have a "happily-ever-after".

But GOD.

That is, perhaps there would be no possibility of a "happily-ever-after" if God were not in the picture.
But, HE IS.
As I sat with the news of the mother's death and the knowledge that a sweet little girl had lost her entire family over the course of nine days, I was reminded that our prayers are not wasted. A faithful saint confided that she believes God has a plan for this little girl - that He is going to do a miracle as He writes the story of the rest of her life. And as I bowed my head in prayer for this precious child - asking God to save her, and redeem this situation, and use it for His glory and the expansion of His kingdom - I received a text from a friend who is also praying, which reminded me that God can use this story to inspire many people in years to come.
Suddenly I was transported from a place of feeling distressed and forlorn to a position of worship before a God who turns wailing into dancing. Who replaces sackcloth with garments of joy.
Ah, this story has not ended with a lonely little girl. She has extended family who all know the Lord, and I believe He will use them as He continues to write her story. As I prayed for her, I envisioned a grown woman with an amazing testimony. In my mind's eye I could see her on a platform sharing the tragedy she endured at the age of 11, and telling of the redemption she experienced at the hand of God. My heart delighted at the thought of how many, many people God will reach through her testimony of suffering and enduring faith.
Because that's what God does.
It's how He works.
The God who gives beauty for ashes, who turns imprisonment into evangelism opportunities, who delivers His faithful servants from giants and lions and fires, who conquers the sin and death of all mankind through the life and death of One - that God will not allow our suffering to be wasted.
Maybe today you find yourself in shock because of hardships which have come upon you. Perhaps calamity has struck without warning or mercy, and you're on the edge of despair. Or maybe you are a witness to another person's tragedy, and feelings of hopelessness are surrounding you - even though the struggle belongs to someone else.
If we were alone in the adversity, if there were no purpose in our pain, if redemption was not an option, despondency would have to be our response.
But GOD.
Hold onto HIM!!!

How To Play With Your Teenager

I think most mothers of teenagers will agree with me when I say that "play time" with teens is quite limited.
That is, I am no longer the go-to for entertainment. Mommy, will you read me a story? Watch this movie with me! Mommy, I just want you to hold me. Can we play Candyland? (I specifically remember wanting to run away in some of those moments...)
And now I find myself ecstatic when my kids "invite" me to play along with them.
Anyway - back to my point. I don't have a lot of play time with my nearly-grown-up kiddos.
Which is why I secretly don't really mind that Matthew never gets up with his alarm in the morning.
The kid is a heavy sleeper!
Because that means I always get to go in and play with wake him up.

The regular morning routine is this:
6:30 - Matthew's alarm and my alarm go off. I hit snooze; Matthew doesn't budge.
6:39 - My alarm sounds again. If Matthew hasn't gotten up (which is the typical behavior) I groan, get up, and go across the hall to play.
6:40-6:45 - I open the door, turn on the light, and announce to Matthew that it's his lucky day, because he gets to go to school. (Or, if the timing was right, and I just heard the "Clean Joke of the Day" on the radio - I tell Matthew the joke. So he gets a chance to groan. *wink*) I then proceed to ask Matthew if he's getting up on his own that day, or if he needs my assistance. Note: He NEVER gets up on his own! So I walk over to his bed and either grab the blankets and pull them off, or skip the blanket step and go right to poking and tickling. Matthew swats his arms at me, calling out, "Stop it! Stop it!" and I dodge. Then I go in for more poking and tickling, and he keeps flailing his arms. Sometimes he gets me good, but most of the time I'm quick enough to get out of the way. And occasionally, if I am not convinced he's awake enough, I pull him right out of bed so he drops on the floor.
By this time, I am confident that he's awake so I go back to lay down for a few more minutes. Always listening of course, to make sure he gets up. Now and then I have to go back for a repeat performance.

One morning as Brian was observing this routine he commented something about Matthew depending on me for his wake-up call. And hinted at the fact that I could just not go in - thereby making Matthew take responsibility for himself. While I could see his point I conceded the fact that I like going in to get Matthew up each morning, because it is a rare time when the two of us laugh and play together. Besides, I said, the reason I hit snooze every day is to give Matthew a nine-minute opportunity to get up on his own.
Brian got my point.

The thing which absolutely touched my heart was the day Matthew was calling out for me to "Stop it! Stop it!" and I said, "You know, if you just got up on your own I wouldn't come in here and torture you every morning." And he responded by smiling and saying, "Yeah. But this is when we have fun!"
And at that moment I knew, my teenager still likes playing with me.

Time for Verse 2

I Don't Have an Appointment Today

When I left my place of employment on January 14, 2015, I did so with the promise that I would continue to help a very precious lady as often as I was able. Because of company policy changes, she could no longer be driven to her quarterly eye-doctor appointments and she was very concerned about how she would get to them. I told her, "You call me. I'll drive you to your appointments."
She did.
And, so did I.
I loved the days I took D to her doctor appointments. Her smile, her charm, and the fact that she never failed to tell me how much she loved my grandma always lifted my heart.
Besides, I enjoyed getting caught up on how my old friends were doing at Edgewood.
D kept me up to date on everyone.

The first of January found me visiting Edgewood, again, because I was privileged to bring the message for their afternoon church service. And, of course, I also stopped in to say Hi to my dear friend, D. She was surrounded by her family and smiled as we hugged. I didn't stay long, because I had to get out for church. Besides, we had an appointment coming up and I would catch up with her then.
Today was the day for that appointment.
But the appointment was cancelled. Because D passed away the day after I popped in to say, Hi.

Oh, how precious and fragile our lives really are.
Had I known that Sunday was her last...I surely would have lingered.
If only I'd been aware...
If I'd realized...
If...
Have you uttered those statements, too?
Indeed, tomorrow is not a guarantee. For any of us! And so I resolve to stop taking it for granted. I will ask the LORD to slow me down, to help me savor the present moment, and to lead me leisurely through my days. Because I don't know when my next appointment might get cancelled.

Cold Water Isn't Such a Big Deal

So, Saturday morning I stood outside my shower for longer than usual.
It always takes a while for the hot water to make it to my bathroom, so waiting is not out of the ordinary. But as time passed I got tired of the delay and just hopped in - knowing it would warm up, eventually.
Except, it didn't.
Rather, it got colder.
As in, I only had the water on to get wet and rinse. No way was I going to STAND under that cold water. BRRRRR!
Later that morning as I was complaining to telling Brian about my shower, I learned that his had only been lukewarm. And Matthew piped up that his was also cold.
Hmmmmmm. Problem with the water heater?
Brian checked it out and re-lit the pilot light, figuring he would get to replacing the thermocouple Sunday. And for a little while we had warm water again.

As this was all going down, and the boys were none too happy about the prospect of a less-than-hot shower Sunday morning, I tried to help them with their perspective. I said, "Imagine how thankful Muthiani would be to have a house with a shower in it - even if the water wasn't hot!" (Muthiani is a little boy in Kenya whom we sponsor through Compassion International.) I continued unsuccessfully offering bits of wisdom to improve their mindsets - but, honestly? I was also not looking forward to my shower the next morning.
In fact, when Sunday morning came around and I turned on the shower (and waited) with no sign of even lukewarm water - I changed my plans. Washing up and shampooing my hair in the sink would have to suffice. It was entirely too cold of a day to stand in a cold shower. Besides, Brian would get to replacing the thermocouple in the afternoon - and all would be well again.
Except, when the thought-it-was-broken part was replaced, the problem wasn't fixed. And we were back at square-one. Brian, feeling defeated. And both of us disappointed that we were going to have to hire a professional to come in and fix the trouble. Because we're super cheap and we prefer to do our own work when possible.
Annnnnd, the boys. They were not happy, either.

Monday morning found me with a plastic tub and a kettle of boiling water heading into my bathroom. I made a mixture of boiling and cold water to suit myself and stood in the shower doing my best to quickly shave my legs and wash up. All the while aware - while the water was warm, my wet skin left me feeling rather chilled. After drying my body I knelt on the floor, leaned into the shower stall, and washed my hair with what was left of the warm water. Y'all, my posture was neither becoming nor comfortable. Somehow, I didn't think even Muthiani would be happy with this set-up.
But I got the job done, and finished getting ready.

Upon sitting down to eat my breakfast - while silently congratulating myself for making it through my troublesome morning without complaint - I opened my computer to check in with Facebook. It was on my church's prayer page that I read about a family who'd been in an auto accident Saturday. One daughter was killed, the mother is in a coma, the other daughter has been traumatized by the event, and the family is not trusting in God.
I bowed my head to pray for them, and let it hang a little longer as I thought, So the water's cold. At least the house is warm. And I have warm clothes to wear. So, we have to call a plumber. Thank God we have the money to pay for it. My kids are well, I am healthy, and I know the God of the universe loves me. How can I possibly be grumble about my circumstance? I don't even know what it's like to experience trouble!

Perspective checked?
Check!

My Help

Soooooo BIG!

Have you ever played Soooooo big with a baby?
You know, when you take their hands in yours and say, "How big is 'Baby'?" Then you lift their arms up over their head and sing, "Sooooooo big!" And then you both explode in giggles.
I love that game!

Well, this week - between I'm Asking, my new verse, my daughter's friend, my church's Facebook prayer group, my Life Together group, my Precept group, and a praying friend who faithfully sends me requests - I have sort of felt like I'm playing Soooooo big with God.
That is, Wednesday evening as I was praying with a heart full of burdens I found myself asking, How big is God? How can He possibly keep track of all these needs? How is it that He doesn't forget, never overlooks, and always knows what to do? How big is HE??? Then with a smile in my heart, and all the faith HE has placed in me I proclaimed, God is soooooo BIG!!!
Do you know that Truth, my friend?
Can you fathom in your mind how incredibly BIG our God is?
Honestly, His BIG-ness is too much for me to grasp.
I do not understand how He sees and knows and does all things.
Perfectly.
I can't explain how God can tend to the details in my life and yours, while simultaneously holding the rest of the universe together in perfect balance.
I.don't.get.it.
But I believe it. Because I have seen Him move and I have experienced His touch. God always does what is right - right on time.

So it is with confidence in His BIG-ness and His ability to do all things that I ask. That I lay these many, many needs before Him - and trust Him to act.
Because God is soooooo BIG!!!

LOVE Prays

There is a young woman - to whom I did not give birth - but who I consider practically a daughter.
She has been my daughter's best friend, and virtually part of our family, for many years. And my surrogate mother's heart is aching for her right now, because of her struggle.
Thus, I am skipping the time I would normally spend blogging today, so I can pray for her instead.
Because that's what LOVE would do.

I would love for you to join me in prayer.
God knows the details. Thanks!

Same Plan, Different Psalm

God is our refuge and strength;
an ever-present help in trouble.

~Psalm 46:1

Several years ago (I think it was 2010?) a friend and I memorized Psalm 139. We did it by learning one verse on the 1st and 15th of every month, and meditating on that verse during the days in between.
And, wow! Was that ever a blessed experience for me.
God continues to speak to my heart the encouragement He brought to me seven years ago.
It is a beautiful thing.

Annnnd, with the beginning of a new year and the desire to be molded and transformed more into image of Jesus - I have decided to do it again. Except, this time I am going to go through Psalm 46.
If my math is correct, this adventure will take me through the middle of June.
But I trust the blessing will take me through the end of my days.
I share this information with you to let you know - I will likely be doing a lot of posting about Psalm 46 over the next five and a half months. And I share this information with you also - to invite you to join me on this journey. God has given us His Word for our benefit and so that we might know Him and love Him more. While I am eager to share with you the ways He speaks to me through Psalm 46, I would love it even more if you were able to experience it for yourself. So we could share in it together.
So, what do you say?
Are you in???

I'm Asking