Lessons From the Edge

Joy can be found in the mundane.

Do you enjoy weeding? How about fixing broken down-spouts? Picking up trash?
Yeah. They aren't on my list of 'Fun things to do', either.
But over the past couple of weeks, I have been delighted to watch a certain man at Edgewood finding joy in those exact activities.

E is a great guy. Will talk your ear off if you let him! And in recent days he has busied himself doing all these tasks outside.
Nearly every day, he comes into the Activity Room and gives me the latest report on the things he's done. With a great big smile on his face. And I walk to the window with him so he can point out his progress.
I think it's great that E is doing these little beautification projects, but the joy he radiates is 100 times more beautiful.

So, tomorrow when I'm doing yard work I believe I will think of E and smile. Because, joy can be found in the mundane.

I Know

Sunday toward the end of the conference I invited the women to spend some "couch time" with God - processing the things we'd been discussing, listening to what HE had to say to their hearts. And when we had done that, one woman shared with the group what she'd heard Him say to her heart. She gave me permission to share it with you here. Be encouraged!

I Know

I know you are broken,
but I can heal your brokenness!
I know you are hurting,
but I can take your pain away!
I know you are afraid of what will happen,
but don’t try to predict the future… it hasn’t happened yet!
I know you feel you are amidst a battle,
but the battle is not yours!
I know you think you need to have control of things,
but I’ve got this!
I know you want to be at peace,
but I am the peace you seek!
I know you want to be with me,
but I have never left your side!
I know you feel lost in the darkness,
but I am the light to find your way!
I know you feel hopeless,
but I am the hope for the world… I am your hope!
I know you are tired and weary,
but I will give you strength and perseverance!
I know you feel unworthy,
but you are worthy of all my love, and I love you!
I know you are seeking,
but I am what you seek!
I know you are disappointed in yourself,
but I have forgiven you and given you a new life!
I know you are concerned and worried,
but you will be okay… I’ve got this!

Connie Shaler, September 30, 2012

Trusting HIS Best

So, I had this thing to which I was really looking forward.
Might have been obsessing about it a bit.
Maybe.
And then, just like that, it was over before it even started. Not gonna happen the way I had imagined. At all. And I was tempted to be disappointed.

But then it was as if God asked my heart, Why should you be disappointed with My best?

Why? Indeed!

God used that moment to remind me this "thing" is not about me. It's about HIM. HE knows what's best. HE's working out what's best.
And HIS best is still best - even if it isn't what I wanted.

Honestly, I was almost in tears because of the initial disappointment. But after God had that little talk with my heart, I was almost in tears for an altogether different reason.
HE cares enough about me - about my holiness and my relationship with Himself - to do the hard thing. To say NO to me. To risk me being upset with Him. That is, God loves me too much to give me everything I want. Because HE knows what's best.

And I'm learning to trust HIS best.

Are you?

Cran-Hill Report

Ahhhhh. *happy sigh*

I had a fabulous weekend at Cran-Hill Ranch with the Fall Women's Conference. What a delight to be with those women to share life and struggles and the goodness of God.
It was the first time I had presented the Don't Make Decisions While You're Running Uphill material in a conference setting, and I was pleased with how it went. God was present - speaking to hearts and touching lives. And I am forever thankful.
Looking forward to the opportunity to do it again!

Here's a picture of the group from Saturday night. Aren't they lovely?

Another very fun part of the weekend was the time I was able to spend with my new friend. That is, the mother of Elizabeth's goooooooood friend, Nick.
Also known as her potential future mother-in-law.
See, Nick and his family were spending the weekend at Cran-Hill, too. So Elizabeth wanted to come with me to the conference - in order that she might spend time with Nick. Which meant...Kaira (Nick's mom) and I were able to have some good hang-out time. (Including shopping for pants Friday afternoon. Since I forgot to pack mine. *eye roll*)
Kaira sat in on my speaking sessions and we spent time together talking about mothering and life and God and mistakes and grace...and, of course, Nick and Elizabeth. And what I discovered is - while Elizabeth has the joy of a new and special friendship, so do I! I love the relationship which is developing between Nick and Elizabeth, and I love that it means a new friendship for me, too. *smile*

But I Prayed

Lessons From the Edge

I can't do it all.

Of course, I know this lesson is true. But this past week, I lived it.
I stayed late at work Wednesday, getting things ready for the rest of the week because I wasn't going to be there Friday. (Taking the morning off to finish getting ready for the conference at Cran-Hill this weekend.) As I was driving home, I remembered something I didn't do and figured I would need to work that into Thursday's plans. Then I remembered I had a voice mail on my phone, so I grabbed my phone and listened to the message.
It was Elizabeth - asking me to stop at the store and pick up a couple things for her. Which reminded me of other things I needed to do and... The result is, I was quite late getting home from work, my feet were aching, and my mood was less than pleasant.

I pondered why things were so hectic and my first inclination was to "blame" Edgewood. After all, I had just spent the entire day at work and was still thinking about things I needed to do.
But I quickly realized, the reason I had all this extra stuff to consider was because I was taking time off for the conference. If I wasn't going away to speak this weekend, I wouldn't have the added pressure to get work things lined up and family things situated.
BUT, then I thought, If I didn't have to work at Edgewood, I would have all kinds of time to do the other things I need to do when I'm going to be gone for a weekend.

And the back-and-forth battle began. It's Edgewood's fault. No, it's because of the conference.
No, it's because of work. Speaking!
Until I realized this week's lesson: I can't do it all. And I began to think differently. I stopped dead in my tracks and started to pray, asking God to show me where HE wants me to be.
*I love the men and women at Edgewood. Love loving them!
*But my passion is speaking the heart of God to mothers and women. And if I could make a living doing that, I would turn in my Activity Director's hat in a heartbeat.

So my prayer is that God would lead me. That HE would open or close doors according to His perfect knowledge. And I would welcome your prayers for me in this regard. I need to hear from Him, because - truly - I can't do it all.
************************************************************************************
Would also welcome your prayers for this weekend's conference - that God would speak through me, and the women in attendance would have an undeniable encounter with HIM. Thanks!

Hunting Success

Last weekend was the youth hunt in Michigan. The weekend when kids aged 16 and under can go hunting before the official deer season opens.
And Brian took the boys out.
Joshua has gone hunting with Brian for the past two years, but this was the first time for Matthew, and the first youth hunt ever. And the first time Joshua got a deer.

He was so excited!

And I'm a proud momma. :) Looking forward to cooking up some venison this winter!

Chicago-area Moms

I am so looking forward to traveling to Crete, Illinois on October 12 to speak at Crete Reformed Church. These evening events are one of my absolute.favorite.things.to.do!

If you're in the area, I would love to see you there. If you know other moms in the Crete/Chicago area, please invite them to attend.

It Still Gets Me

When Joshua was younger we often got into it with one another. He would stomp off to his room in anger. I pretty much stayed put in anger.
Sometimes it took a few hours, and other times it was a day or more, but typically Joshua would realize his error and apologize to me. And it always surprised me when I saw what happened to my heart in those moments. His sincere apology was all it took for me to forgive, and remember my love for him.
And in a weird sort of way, those moments made our spats OK. Because I got to see my son's tender, humble side. And it is so beautiful.

We recently had a disagreement which went the same direction. We just couldn't see eye to eye. Try as I might, I couldn't convince him it is OK to bend for the good of the family. Couldn't get him to think outside of himself. And, as per usual, he stomped past me mumbling about how annoying I am.
Moments later I heard the shower going and started to sputter inside about him wasting water.

The next thing I knew, Joshua was walking into the kitchen. He stopped as he was passing me and said, "I'm sorry for yelling earlier." Seemed his time in the shower did more than clean his stinky body. It also gave him some time to think.
And, just like that, all was forgiven. His sincere and gentle words did a number on my heart and we were reconciled.
Once again his tender, humble side surfaced. And I realized - it still gets me.

HE Knows You

Lessons From the Edge

There's more than one way to enjoy a song.

Today is a special day at Edgewood.

Three of our residents are celebrating birthdays.

One of those three is turning 105!!!

And H - the one who is 105 years old today - is the one who taught me this week's lesson.
H loves music. She sings all the time. Only, her singing is more like a high pitched, slightly-out-of-tune oooooo-ing/humming sound. And - to be quite honest - it annoys some residents sometimes. Because she's quite loud and they don't like it.
But she loves to sing! And I love her high pitched, slightly-out-of-tune oooooo-ing/humming sound, because I know it is a reflection of the joy in her heart.

Well, the other day, I saw H enjoying music in another way.
She was sitting in the atrium while one of our favorite entertainers was playing the piano and singing. H was in her wheel chair, slightly slouched to the side, kind of staring at the floor. (She has very poor eye-sight so it isn't often that she really focuses on anything.) I began to wonder if she was listening to the music, or if she was lost in her own little world.
Then I glimpsed her feet.
And I wasn't wondering anymore.

H's feet were tapping along with the beat of the music, and I was quite sure - if her body would let her - she would have been on her feet dancing.
I stood for several minutes just staring at H's dancing feet, taking in the joy they expressed. And that's when I learned, there's more than one way to enjoy a song.

How Sad

I had a chance to go shopping Saturday afternoon.

That isn't the sad part.

The thing which made me sad happened while I was looking through the racks.

I overheard a conversation between two friends who hadn't seen each other in a while. They chatted for a few seconds before their conversation grabbed my attention. When one of them started complaining about her college-aged daughter, I couldn't keep myself from eavesdropping hearing.
The disgruntled mother went on about how her daughter didn't want to stay in school. Then the two of them pondered whether or not her attitude had to do with a boyfriend. And I felt sorry for the relational discord between mother and daughter.
Then the other friend started unloading her mothering woes. The details don't matter, but at the end of her monologue she commented that she only has x-number of years until the kids are gone and she'll be DONE. And her friend gave a hearty, "Good for you!"

Now, I will be the first to admit I've been frustrated with my kids. It is no secret I've been in tears over my circumstance and have often felt like quitting. It's all in there! But to hear these women celebrating being DONE with their kids filled me with a sadness I just can't express.

And I pray God will keep my heart tender toward my children all the days of our lives.

God Doesn't Need Protecting

So, the other night I tried to protect God.

Have you ever heard of a sillier thing???

Joshua came running into the kitchen in a panic. "Mom! Help me look for Butters!!!" And he yelled for the rest of the family to do the same thing.
Joshua had just looked into his hamster's cage and discovered the little guy had escaped. And since he hadn't played with Butters in a couple of days, Joshua wasn't sure how long he'd been out of his cage. The only thing of which he was sure is that everybody needed to drop what we were doing and help him find that rodent.

We all got to work. Unsuccessfully. And it hurt my heart to see Joshua so upset. I mean, really. There were tears and frantic movements, moans and breathing which bordered on hyperventilation. The boy was beside himself with worry for Butters.
As I looked in closets and under beds I was fully aware that God knew exactly where Joshua's hamster was hiding. I knew HE could bring him out into the open. Could lead us right to that little guy's location. And I prayed HE would.
It occurred to me that I ought to pray with Joshua. Or at least encourage Joshua to pray. But then I was overcome with the thought, What if we never find Butters? What if he has been missing for a couple days and is dead in some corner somewhere? What if God, in His sovereignty, doesn't lead us to him - alive? Thinking about how devastated Joshua would be under those circumstances, I couldn't bring myself to suggest that he pray. Because I didn't want him to be upset with God for not answering his prayer the way he wanted.
Instead, I prayed more for our search. And even more for Joshua.

When I became convinced there was nothing more we could do, I told Joshua it was time for us all to go to bed. (The scene produced by that statement could fill another whole post...) And as I lay in bed, replaying the previous 45 minutes, trying to understand why I couldn't get myself to encourage Joshua to pray, I understood my hang-up.
I was too concerned by how Joshua might respond if God didn't answer his prayer affirmatively. I was afraid Joshua might not like God. I was anxious about how he would view a God who lets hamsters die. I simply didn't want Joshua to be upset with God, and somehow I thought - by not praying - he wouldn't hold God responsible for a sad outcome.
That's when I realized the foolishness of my actions. I realized I was trying to protect God; trying to establish Him in a favorable way in my son's eyes. Only, God doesn't need protecting. He is big enough to manage His own image. No assistance from me necessary.
So I am officially resigning as God's PR girl. Returning to my appropriate position of humbly trusting that He knows what He's doing. Aiming to model such a faith for my children, so they may learn to pray without ceasing - trusting a good GOD to work all things out for our good and HIS glory.

BTW, Butters showed up the next morning. Caught in a live trap Joshua had set in the basement. Thankful for a happy ending!

The Delete Button is My Friend

I was writing an email message last week and - after spending a few minutes laboring over a couple sentences - I deleted everything I'd just typed.
It wasn't that my words were unkind, or untrue, or anything like that. But as I re-read them I asked myself, Do I really need to say this? And the answer was, No.

The thing is, last week's experience wasn't unique. Whether it's in an email or a blog post, sometimes I find myself saying things I just don't need to say. Maybe I re-read what I've written and realize I'm trying to justify myself or prove myself right and I don't like my motive.
So I delete.
Other times my review reveals a sense of pride which needs to be reigned in. Or a pity party which needs some truth-talk. *wink*
Whatever problem I discover, I am always thankful for my delete button, and the ability to move forward as if I'd never written those words.

Now, if only I could find a delete button for the times when I speak before I think. *ahem*

Or maybe I should just write everything down before I say it. Hmmmm.
I'm not alone in this issue, am I?

What Do You Know?

Lessons From the Edge

Little things mean a lot.

C moved back this week!
He's been gone for a couple months - first in the hospital and then in rehab - but now he's back.
And it was our re-union which taught me this week's lesson.

For as long as I can remember, C and I have had a special 'thing' we do every day. It's what we call "close eyes". Actually, it's something Matthew and I used to always do when I said good-bye to him before school. I told C about it one day, and it's been our way of greeting ever since.
Anyway, "close eyes" happens when two people put their foreheads together and touch their noses, which results in your eyes being very close!

So, back to C's homecoming.

As soon as I was able, I went over to him, smiled, and said, "Hello!" But I could tell from his reaction, C didn't remember me. And my heart broke a little bit. I said, "You don't remember me, do you?" He just acknowledged my suspicion by lowering his eyes a little.
Then I said, "Wait a minute!" and I moved in close so my forehead rested on his, and our noses touched and I said, "Close eyes!" C smiled and I said, "Now do you remember me?" C let out a little laugh and said, "Yes!"

Oh, bless my heart! What a joy to know he remembered our little greeting, and therefore remembered me. I am quite sure I will look forward to "close eyes" more than he does from now on. It's just a little thing, but little things mean a lot.

Fishing

Last weekend we spent time with friends at their beach house. What fun!
Joshua, get ready for it, spent most of his time fishing. I know. Shocker. And he invited me to join him on one of his trips.
To be perfectly honest, I would have been content staying at the cottage. Could have napped, or picked up socks, or napped, or played with the baby, or, well - taken a nap. But Joshua had been talking about taking me out fishing for a week or two, so I went.

First, we had to get to our destination.
Joshua did the rowing.

It was windy on the water, and rowing was hard sometimes.

But once we got to where we were going, we dropped the anchor and my fisherman went to work. (Until we had to try new locations...But that's another story.)

As he fished, Joshua tried explaining to me about his lures and how the fish are attracted to different things. And why he tugs the fishing pole to make the lure look like an injured fish. And which fish hang out on the edge of the lake and which hide under docks. And why this or that lure is more effective. And blah, blah, blah.
Even after all his coaching, I am not an expert fisherman. Nor am I any more interested in the sport than before we went out. But I am interested in my son, and he loves fishing! So an hour or two sitting in a rowboat listening to him talk (mumble!) about lures and fish, and seeing him do his thing was - in my opinion - time well spent.

What interests do your loved ones have which aren't interesting to you? How can you show your love by showing interest in your loved one's interest? Yes, I totally meant to use 'interest' that many times. ha!

I Still Can't Handle It

I was recently reminded of a post I wrote nearly four years ago. And, while much has changed in four years, I chuckled as I realized how much hasn't changed. I may be four years older and wiser, with four more years of experience. But this motherhood thing is still too much for me to handle.

How Much Can You Handle?

I do not remember where I was when I heard this, or who it was that said it, but last week someone made a statement to me which is really ringing true tonight.

She said to me, "You know how some people say, 'God won't give you anything you can't handle?' Well, I don't believe it. God gives me lots of things I can't handle. And He handles it all!"
Can I get an "Amen!" on that one?

How many times has someone tried to encourage you - or have you tried to comfort someone else - with that statement?
God won't give you anything you can't handle.
Really?
Because as I have gone through life - especially since I have been a mom - I have come across more and more circumstances which I simply cannot handle.
Need to love a child who is prone to angry outbursts and fits of rage. Can't do it.
Must be patient with an ADHD child, who simply cannot maintain focus. Can't do that, either.
Compassion required for individuals who have made foolish choices. Don't have it.
Need to serve my family selflessly, even when they don't seem to appreciate the time and effort I put in. Yeah, I don't think so.

Shall I continue?
I could give you the play-by-play of this evening's activities...

The point is, God has given me so much in my roles as wife and mom which I simply cannot handle. And because He is so good He gives me the grace I need, moment by moment, to make it through.
I don't have the capacity to love. My patience is much too thin. Compassion is lacking. And there is still too much of me in me to do much of anything selflessly. I cannot handle all God has called me to be and do!
So I fall at His feet - needy and grateful for His grace in my life, for God's ability to handle all He has called me to be and do.

I leave you now with the final verse I read to the kids before bed tonight. Yeah, this verse which fits me so perfectly, from a psalm I "randomly" chose to read.
I soooo do not believe in randomness. Clearly,God picked this psalm out tonight!

Yet I am poor and needy;
come quickly to me, O God.
You are my help and my deliverer;
O LORD, do not delay.

Psalm 70:5

On the Tip of my Tongue

Joshua wanted a new pair of shoes for school.
I thought it was a reasonable request. His other ones were worn. OK. I could go for that.

BUT, the shoes he wanted were $59. *ahem!* I don't spend that much money on a pair of school shoes. Brian and I conferred and agreed on how much we'd be willing to spend for Joshua's shoes. And if he wanted those $59 shoes, he was going to have to come up with the difference.
The problem was, Joshua insisted he would't be able to get shoes for $35. They would be junk and would fall apart in a matter of weeks. I listened to his rant, and then told him I wanted to have a look for myself. (Joshua had been looking for a while and was sure his $59 prize shoes were the best we were going to find.)
Humor me, son.
Sitting right next to the shoes Joshua wanted, I found a pair (same brand) which were on sale for $49, and with the purchase of those shoes you would receive a $10 gift card to the store. A little math, and those shoes were only $39.
I thought I'd found a solution. He couldn't tell me they were junk, and I was willing to go up $4. Problem solved, right?

Not so fast!

The heel was too high. They would be uncomfortable.
Really??? He wouldn't even try them on. He just knew he would't like them. As you wish. I'm still not spending $59 on tennis shoes!
We walked down the aisle and around the corner and found another display of shoes. And, wouldn't you know it, there was another pair on sale for $39. AND, Joshua actually liked them!
BUT his size was not in stock. We found a store employee who called three other stores until she found his size, and we went to get them!

As we walked out of the store - Joshua pleased with his new shoes, and me pleased with the fact that they were only $39 - I remembered Joshua's previous lament. His angry declaration that we would NOT be able to find shoes in my price range which would be acceptable to him.
And it was all I could do to keep myself from saying it. I TOLD YOU SO!!!

Ahhh. I feel better now. That's been on the tip of my tongue for a week!

God Loves the Underdog

Lessons From the Edge

God's Word is richer among friends.

OK, before anyone gets the wrong idea, I am NOT saying it is no good to study the Word by yourself. I treasure the time I have alone with God in His Word!
What I am saying is, I love Bible study at Edgewood!
This past week we looked at the book of Habakkuk (Because I was still thinking about this.) and - while I thought I was going into the Bible study with a fairly good grasp of the lesson - I was pleasantly surprised to discover so much more. Sitting there with the residents, asking questions and listening to their answers, God gave me insights I hadn't seen before. Several times throughout our Bible studies I summarize the main points we've discussed (One of the wonderful necessities of working with seniors!) and that action serves to firmly plant the Truth in my own head/heart. Such that, when our time comes to an end and these friends of mine thank me profusely for leading the study, I wonder who is more blessed. Them, or me?

It's a wonderful thing!

Are you part of a small group Bible study? If not, let me encourage you to find one. Because... God's Word is richer among friends.

Welcome to Real Life

Last week Elizabeth drove to Grand Rapids to hang out with her two best friends from camp this summer. Without even being asked, she said she would pay for the gas to make the trip. Then she tried calculating what the cost would be and was torn between staying or going.
Actually, I was glad she took responsibility for paying before I had to tell her that was going to be a requirement. Anyhoo...
As the day drew nearer, Elizabeth asked if I would be able to fill the tank between when she got home from youth group Wednesday night (She attends youth group at a church waaaaay across town.) and when she left for Grand Rapids Thursday morning. I told her that would not be possible, rather I would fill it up on my way home from work Wednesday. "Oh. So I have to pay for gas to youth group?" was her response.
I just chuckled under my breath.
Yes, dear. Like Dad and I have been paying for it every other week.

When Wednesday came around, I filled the gas tank on my way home from work. Just like I promised. But before I turned the van over to her for youth group, I had a dentist appointment to keep and Elizabeth sighed, "Oh. So I have to pay for the gas to the dentist, too?" (Our dentist is 1.18 miles from our house. I would have walked to my appointment if I didn't need to hurry up and get home to make dinner in time for Elizabeth to go to youth group! haha)
I just rolled my eyes and chuckled again.
Yes, dear. Just like Dad and I pay for it when we drive you to school, or the doctors, or the mall, or your friend's house, or...

Perhaps now she'll think twice about making unnecessary trips. ha!

Fall Women's Conference at Cran-Hill Ranch

I've been thinking about it since February. Praying for the attendees and my words, asking God to work them all together for His glory.

I've been jotting down thoughts as they come to my head, and for the past several weeks I've been working them into an organized fashion - which I pray God will use to speak to the hearts of women.
Now, with the conference just over three weeks away, I am refining my preparations and continuing to pray, pray, PRAY!

It seems the only thing left is you!
What are you doing Friday, September 28 - Sunday, September 30? I will be speaking at the Fall Women's Conference at Cran-Hill Ranch and I would absolutely love to have you join me there. The whole weekend is only $99 - all inclusive - so maybe even those of you who aren't in the neighborhood could make the trip.
How fun would THAT be??? *wink*

I Think I Just Spoke with my Daughter's Future Mother-in-Law

So, Elizabeth went to summer camp and made several good friends. However, there is one particular young man about whom she has continued to talk.
The two of them text scripture references back and forth to one another, then compare thoughts on the verses. At one point Elizabeth said she was praying about N, wondering if he might ever be "more than a friend", but she said she's content to just be friends.

OK.

Well, with the end of summer right around the corner, the kids (Elizabeth and her friends from camp) have been rushing to make plans for another get-together before the school year starts. Since two of them live in Grand Rapids, the plan was for Elizabeth to go to them and hang out. And that was fine with me.
But, was it OK with N's parents?
Before a young lady came to pay a visit to her son, N's mother wanted to talk with me. I liked her already! (Imagine, another mom who cares about the kids with whom her kid hangs out!) Anyway, during our conversation N's mom told me their position on dating and friendships and - wow - did I ever appreciate what she had to say! I listened to her with a certain amount of surprise that someone else felt the same way Brian and I do.
She went on to tell me that N is very fond of Elizabeth and talks about her frequently. But what delighted me most is what she said next. That N is particularly drawn to Elizabeth's spiritual strength and her desire to be a beacon for Christ among her friends.
Oh, yeah. I liked N when they were simply texting verses to one another. But to know that he admires her so much, and that he loves her love for God...

OK, they're just kids. But I see some potential here! A great kid with a great family whose values so closely match our own? I'm open to the possibilities. *grin*

My Prayer for You

Lessons From the Edge

Sometimes 'store bought' just has to do.

I could not believe my Tuesday this week.
*When I walked in the door at work my boss told me my entertainer for that afternoon had just called. He had a family emergency and wouldn't be able to come play. OK. I'll just see if I can find someone else at the last minute!
Fortunately, I was able to.
*Later that morning I received a phone call informing me my volunteers for that afternoon weren't going to be able to come help with the ice cream sundaes. OK. I'll just, uh, what'll I do?
Fortunately, one of my co-workers was able to help me serve the sundaes.
*When the music and ice cream were finished, D asked me if I would walk him to his apartment. I needed to clean up the dining room but there were still several people milling around so I was happy to escort him home.
*Upon returning to the dining room, I noticed C - in her wheel chair - waiting to be taken back to her apartment. Not sure where the aide was who usually takes her, but I asked if she wanted me to escort her. She said, 'Yes,' and I knew the cleaning could wait another few minutes, so I took her.
*One more return to the dining room, and I found J waiting for an escort, too. I realized the aide must have been taking care of a 'situation', so I walked with J to her apartment, too. Wishing the entire time that I had volunteers who were working on clean-up.
*As J and I were on our way, H approached me in a panic. He said someone was trying to "swindle him out of money" and asked me to come to his apartment. I asked H to hold on just a minute and promised I would come with him after I took J home.
*H is a very sweet man, but - wow! - does he ever walk slowly?! When we finally made it to his apartment he showed me a box of medication which had been delivered to him. He had no idea what it was, but was pretty sure someone was after his money. (Turns out his niece had changed the way his prescriptions are delivered...)

FINALLY, I made it to the dining room. Cleared and wiped the tables, swept the floor, emptied the trash, and put away random supplies. As I punched out and thought about what I had to do once I got home, I decided I was going to make one more un-planned trip that day.
Josh needed a salad/side dish to take to his cross-country team's "Pasta Party" that evening. I knew I didn't have it in me to figure out and prepare something for him to take.
Nope. I was going to Meijer's deli.
Oh, to be sure, I prefer homemade. But I was whipped and that made me realize, Sometimes 'store bought' just has to do.

I'm More Than Failing!

...And this time, I'm not talking about motherhood.

I heard a report on the radio last week that the "average" woman buys 60 new outfits per year.

SIXTY!!!

I am so below average on this spectrum, to say I am "failing" would be too complimentary.
Who are these average women, anyway? I need to find some in my size. *wink*

God's WorkOUT

Besides the almost-non-stop-laughter on my recent vacation, I also had some great workouts. My sister has been on a weight-loss kick and with all the yummy treats she baked and brought to the cabin, we figured it would be a good idea for us to spend time working out, too. Not that we came anywhere near working off more calories than we consumed. But it was better than nothing.
So, Kim and I took turns coming up with routines to kick each others' *ahem* butts.
She won. She was down-right mean. We were going to do 30 reps of each exercise, but when I needed a break at 20? She made us do 35 to make up for the lost time. My biceps, quads, and calves ached for almost a week after what she put me through.

But half-way through the week, I discovered another necessary workout. Or, rather, work OUT.

One of the things that happens when you spend significant time in close proximity with family members is - well, you start to see some things in yourself which aren't so lovely.
Or, maybe that only happens to me?
So, anyway, I began seeing things in myself which I'd rather weren't there. Because they were attitudes which were not honoring God. And I prayed, asking Him to cleanse me.
I thought of a prayer I have learned which I often repeat: LORD, please work in me that which is pleasing to You. And I changed it up a bit. I said, LORD, please work OUT of me that which is displeasing to You.

I'm not meaning to challenge Him. Not trying to push God to His limits. I certainly hope He won't punish me with additional reps if I need to take a breather. But I DO want to be beautiful after what HE puts me through.
So, until that Day comes, I will continue to pray: LORD, please work OUT of me that which is displeasing to You.

Vacation Report

What a wonderful, wonderful vacation I had!

My entire family got together. That would be, my mom, dad, OLDer brother, his daughter, my older sister, her husband and their daughter, and my younger brother and his wife. Plus Brian and my kids, of course. We gathered in the Smokey Mountains in Tennessee for a week. All fourteen of us in a cabin in the mountains to celebrate my parents' 50th wedding anniversary. We laughed and ate and laughed and watched movies and laughed and hiked and laughed and went swimming and laughed and played games. And we laughed a little more.
After listening to all the stories, my kids are convinced I had the.best.childhood.ever. (We didn't re-live the stories in which we nearly killed each other. haha!)
It's true. I had great times as a kid. And getting together with everyone, re-telling the tales, and laughing until our stomachs hurt was a wonderful way to spend a week.
Here we are: my parents, my siblings, and me.

Makes me wonder what life will be like in 31 years, when Brian and I celebrate our 50th wedding anniversary. I pray that - in addition to the laughter and fun memories - my family will recognize God's faithfulness through all our days. I want my children's greatest memory of our lives together to be the times we trusted in God and the ways HE showed us His glory and faithfulness.

What are your hopes for your family?

The Truth of Your Moment vs. the TRUTH of God

Lessons From the Edge

A sad beginning doesn't prevent a happy ending.

Have you ever heard a sad story, and wondered at how it could possibly produce a happy ending? I witnessed the reality of that situation this week.
I interviewed R for her Resident of the Week feature and got the sad story with the first question.
R was just five weeks old when her mother died and, as the youngest of five children, she was too much for her father to manage. So she was "passed around" between several care-givers during her early years. One woman finally gave R a permanent home when she was 3 years old. But R was not fond of that woman. She said, "She never beat me, but she wasn't nice."
R was not given toys to play with, she was not told of her older brothers and sisters, and spent most of her time doing chores. It was so sad listening to her story.
However, she had one piece of joy.
She had paint-with-water books in which she found solace. And those books were the beginning of a talent which would give her great joy. Oh! If you could only see the paintings she has around her apartment. Paintings she made herself!
R grew up and got married and had three children of her own. She told me stories of rocking her babies to sleep (Twice every day!) and staying up until midnight most nights sewing dresses for her girls. She must have told me ten times how much her daughter's teachers admired the dresses she made.
And her husband. She was so proud of him. Lit up every time she said his name. In fact, she had a very certain sparkle about her when she spoke of her adult years: her family, her cats, the paintings and dresses, all of it - a sparkle which was sadly missing when she spoke of her childhood.

Reflecting on R's life - the story she'd just told me, I was keenly aware of the beauty of God's protection and His ability to redeem a dark place and make it light. We talked about that for a moment and prayed, thanking God for His work in R's life.
I love this aspect of God-stories: A sad beginning doesn't prevent a happy ending.
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A closing PSA: My family and I are going on vacation next week. This here blog is going to be on hold until Monday, August 27. Keep your eyes on JESUS!

A New Toy

Our cell phone contract just expired, and we renewed it.
That means - all the Hossinks got new phones. *grin*

I have been busy transferring my contacts and all the information on my calendar, and the kids have been discovering new and exciting features. Elizabeth is particularly tickled with this photo trick which allows her to take several small pictures and make them into one.
Isn't she lovely???

Attitude Adjustment Courtesy of GOD and Smile FM

Monday I stayed late at work to call Bingo, because my regular volunteer was unable to make it.
Three times during Bingo my phone rang. (Fortunately, most of the residents don't hear very well, so it didn't bother any of them. *wink*) But it bothered me. I was wondering what was so important that whoever was calling had to KEEP calling. Eventually, the caller left a voice mail message.

When Bingo ended I gathered my things together and began to head for home, laughing with one of the lady residents about how I wasn't really finished working for the day. I was simply finished getting paid to work. Ha! Had to run an errand before I went home to make dinner and do my evening errands.
Walking through the parking lot, I had a chance to listen to that voice mail. It was Elizabeth, wondering if her friend could stay for dinner. Oh, and could I stop and pick up another of her friends and bring him home for dinner, too?
I let out a self-pity, why-do-I-have-to-do-more-work sigh, then called Elizabeth and told her that would be ok. IF her friend was willing to ride along with me to run the errand. Because I wasn't going to back-track to pick him up afterwards.
But, before I went to pick him up, I needed to stop at the store. Two additional teen-age stomachs at the dinner table meant I needed to get more food.
While I was on my way to the grocery store, Joshua texted me and asked me to pick up some crickets from the pet store for his hungry praying mantis.
SERIOUSLY??? Another stop to make? Another thing to do? Another need someone has for me to fulfill??? *ugh!*
But the grocery store is right across the street from the pet store. I really had no reason why I couldn't do it. I was just tired and full of self-pity.
So I went in and got the crickets.
But my attitude was sour.

As I got back into the van and was on my way to pick up Elizabeth's friend, Live Like That came on the radio and I was reminded of the way I want to live. Reflecting the love of Jesus, not my own selfish bent. And I thanked God for opening my eyes to my attitude before I spilled it on Elizabeth's friend.
Moments later I heard This is the Stuff and was reminded how easily I let small inconveniences weigh too heavily, causing me to miss my blessings. And, again, I thanked God for setting me straight.

No one, and I mean no one will ever be able to convince me God isn't the one behind the song line-up at the radio station. *grin*

A Case for Pets

Joshua opened the cereal drawer and mumbled, "Stupid dog!"
Apparently Mindy had run off. And Joshua was getting a couple mini-wheats to coax her back.

Mindy has run off before, and I was pretty sure I knew the reason.
So I asked, "Was she on her leash?"
Joshua just mumbled, and my suspicion was confirmed. He had let Mindy outside without chaining her up - hoping she would stay in the yard just because that's what she's supposed to do.
Ha! Didn't work.
Now Joshua had to round Mindy up and bring her back inside. The boy was not happy about the extra effort required as a result of not chaining up the dog. I imagine he was thinking something along the lines of, Why can't she just go do her thing and then come back? Why does she have to run off? She knows better!

At the very same time I was thinking, Why didn't you put her on the leash, Joshua? It gives her limits so she won't run off. She doesn't know any better.

And that's when it hit me. The life-lesson for my son which I was sure he would understand:
Just as Mindy needs limits like a leash to help her do the right thing, so teens need limits like curfews and phone calls to other parents and occasional answers like, "No. I'm sorry, but you can't go to [that event]," in order that they might do the right thing.
As one responsible for our dog's well-being (Even though he didn't use it...) Joshua understands the value of a dog leash. He understands that without limits, Mindy is likely to do things she ought not do. He gets it.
And if this interaction will help him understand why I place limits in his life, if it will bring a little more peace in our home, well I'd say I just discovered a great reason to have a pet!

Even though I am incredibly tired of dog hair all over the floor. *wink*

Why is your faith so strong?

Lessons From the Edge

Memory Lane is a great place to stroll.

Have I said before how much I love my job?
Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I get paid to do what I do. Last week I spent a beautiful afternoon at the ballpark watching baseball with some residents. This week we had a party.
Yeah. I get paid to play! *grin*

The theme for our party was A Sentimental Journey, and in addition to enjoying music from yesteryear, several of the residents brought down mementos from years ago.
Everyone had stories to tell and memories to share, and it was a beautiful thing to see. One couple (who will soon celebrate their 68th anniversary) brought the topper from their wedding cake. Another man brought the purple heart he was awarded in World War II. And still others brought down family albums, wedding pictures, and trinkets they've collected over the years.
What fun it was to see their smiles and hear their stories. Reminded me to enjoy today, because before too long it will be yesterday and only a memory. Yet even then, we can re-visit today through our memories.

Indeed, Memory Lane is a great place to stroll.

P.S. If you have a Facebook account, you can click here then log in to see some pics of the mementos. And here's the link to the general party pics. :)

Nooooooo!

I'm going to be 41 next month.

Forty-one used to sound "old" to me. But I still see myself as a child. I am NOT getting old. No sir!

However, over the past week, I have been getting a bit concerned because of some vision troubles I'm having. Things far away are still clear as a bell to me, but up-close items challenge my ability to focus. And this is so unusual for me. I have always had good eye-sight.
With my birthday approaching and the reality that I am getting older (There is a distinct difference between "old" and "older," you know!) I was starting to wonder if the sight issue is a sign of aging.

Noooooooo!
I am not willing to admit such things could be happening to me.
I would prefer to continue my existence in Denial, thank you. *wink*

Then it occurred to me.
I just started taking a new medicine last week. And that's when the fuzzies came over to play.
So I did a check of the side effects and found it - blurred vision.

Oh, yeah! It's the drug's fault. I am not getting old. I knew it. I knew it! I knew it!!!
Soooooo, a little phone call to the doc, a refined plan of action, and I can safely return to Denial.

I am NOT getting old. No sir!

Let It Go!

Remember the retreat I told you I was taking to prepare for the women's conference? Well, on the way home, God gave me a very interesting visual lesson - and I want to share it with you today.

The retreat center is about 20 minutes away from my house and - at about minute two on my way home - I noticed a large bug on my windshield. I think it was a Katydid. Anyway, Katy was holding on tight to the lower left corner of the windshield as I drove 70 MPH down the highway.
Er, maybe 72. Definitely not more than 74. *wink*
As I was saying, she was holding on tight. Blown from right to left and back again, looking like she was really banging her head around. And in my mind I kept saying, "Katy, just let go! You don't need to be holding on to the van. I'll end up taking you somewhere you had no intention of going. And in the process, it looks like you're going to obtain a severe headache. Just let it go!"

But she kept holding on. Stupid Silly bug!

I don't know when, but at some point she did let go. Or was overcome by the wind and pressure. I'm not sure. I just know I looked at the corner of the windshield, and she wasn't there. And I didn't think about her again until last Friday when I was going to pick my kids up from camp.
I'd had a super busy morning at work - trying to fit a full day's work into the morning - and in the midst of it all something wasn't right with my boss. As in, she snapped at me for (what I thought were) ridiculous issues. A few times. And as I was driving to get the kids, I replayed some of those snaps. I even had a couple conversations with her in my head - telling her that I was being as polite and efficient as I knew how, and I didn't understand her words and actions toward me. I wanted to get her to understand how her words made me feel, and I continued to rehash what I would say - given the opportunity.
Right about then, I glanced over at the lower left corner of my windshield and remembered Katy. I remembered the words of wisdom I'd had for her. How I knew she'd be better off if she'd just let go of the windshield.

That's when I knew what I needed to do with my fixation on my boss. *ahem!*

Of what do you need to let go today?