This Week with Grandma

OK. Honestly?

This week has been a hard one.

I've spent time in tears. I have felt like I can't do things "right." And I have become fully aware (Again!) that I am not enough. Never have been. Never will be.

However, this week has also been a good time.
That is, it has been a good time for me to remember that when a person is discouraged or hurting or tired or lonely (or ALL FOUR) nothing is going to seem right to them. And they're likely going to respond in ways which are less than cheerful. In fact, they might seem rather ornery at times.
Because they're discouraged that they can't do the things they want to do, their body is aching in more ways than they can count, even though they're in bed a lot of the time they aren't sleeping well and are feeling exhausted, and they miss friends and family. (Note: The last item is often enhanced when a family member has just gotten married and the person for whom you are caring was unable to attend the wedding...)
Yeah. So, in the midst of my "hard" this week I have been repeatedly reminding myself that Grandma is having a hard time, herself. And while I can go on a walk, or fall in a heap and cry to get away from my "hard," she is stuck with hers.
So I pray for God's grace to fill me - that I may be strengthened by it, and extend it to Grandma.

Are you having a hard time with someone, too? Perhaps this would be a good time to consider things from their perspective...

These Precious Children Need Sponsors

This is Eca.
Her birthday is November 25, 2010 and she lives in Indonesia with her mother, father, and one sibling.
Eca's father is sometimes employed as a laborer and her mother maintains the home.
Eca is not presently attending school. Singing and playing with dolls are her favorite activities. She also attends church activities and Bible class regularly.

This is Joshua.
Joshua's birthday is May 25, 2011. He lives in Uganda with his father and aunt and two other children. (Not sure if they are siblings or cousins...) Both Joshua's father and aunt are sometimes employed as laborers.
Joshua is in primary school where his performance is average, and he participates in church activities through the Compassion ministry. He enjoys ping pong, soccer, and playing with cars.

This is Luis.
He just turned 11 on September 5th. Luis lives in Peru with his mother and stepfather. His father is in prison. Luis's stepfather is sometimes employed as a laborer, and his mother is sometimes employed as a project worker.
Soccer, bicycling and playing group games are Luis's favorite activities. In primary school his performance is average and he also regularly attends church activities.

Eca, Joshua, and Luis are such precious children and I count it a privilege to be the one praying and seeking sponsors for them. I want to ask you - yes, YOU! - to look at the pictures of these children and ask God if He is moving you to be the one to answer the call.
Sponsorship through Compassion involves a $38/month commitment, as well as a promise to pray for your child and opportunities to correspond with them via letters. And I can tell you, the blessing of watching your Compassion child grow is amazing. When I first started sponsoring Noemi from Ecuador she was too young even to write. Now I have the delight of reading letters written by her own hand. And our little guy, Muthiani from Kenya, received a goat as a Christmas gift from the money we sent. I can't wait to hear stories about how he grows and uses that goat to help provide for his family.
I realize I may never meet my sponsored children this side of heaven (Though I am praying God would afford me the opportunity!!!) but knowing God is using me and my family to affect a child's life who lives "a world away" absolutely delights my heart.
If you feel led to sponsor Eca, Joshua, or Luis please email me at karen(at)irritablemother(dot)com and I will send your sponsor packet to you.
Thank you for praying and considering.

Fight or Flight? Or PRAYER?

Busy days are ahead for me, so I am going to take a blog-hiatus.
I hope to be back around September 9 or 10.

May grace and peace be yours in abundance!!!

This Week with Grandma

*heavy sigh*

It's really hard for me to let things go sometimes.

And this week I have learned that letting go doesn't necessarily get easier with age.

Last weekend we took a short vacation to enjoy some family time before Elizabeth went back to Wheaton. I had planned for Grandma to stay at home with a couple different people, but the plans fell through and she ended up going to a local care facility from Thursday afternoon until Sunday evening. And, let's just say, she did not have a good experience there.
At all.
In fact, she said if the need ever arises again - she'd rather stay home alone than go back there.
Then she said, "Let's just not talk about it anymore."
And I was only too happy to oblige.

The thing is, within the next day or two she was talking about her experience again. Followed with her resolve to not talk about it anymore. Except that - she keeps bringing it up.
While it's true she's almost 98, her mind is good. So I don't think she's talking about last weekend because she doesn't remember she's been talking about it already. It just seems to be weighing heavily on her mind. And it makes me sad to see her re-living unpleasantness over and over.

I wonder: Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we keep rehashing things we'd rather forget? And, more importantly, How do we put an end to it?

Dreaming

Some time ago a friend of mine suggested I should consider hosting a women's retreat.

To be honest, my first reaction was to think she was crazy. Although I liked the idea - because I love being together with women and leading them toward God - I just couldn't imagine putting together my "own" retreat. It seemed like too much for me.
Nonetheless, I thought about her proposition from time to time. And several weeks ago I mentioned on Facebook that I was praying about the idea.
Hadn't thought about it for awhile, then Tuesday happened.
Seemingly out of the blue, another friend asked me how the retreat was coming. I'm sure the look on my face said something like, Wha? Retreat? Huh?, because she followed up quickly by saying she'd seen something about it on Facebook. So I told her it was just an idea for now. And she said it sounded like something to which she might like to bring the ladies in her Bible study group.
As we were parting I told her, "If God says, Go, I'll do it!"

And can I tell you? I have almost NOT stopped thinking about it since then. (Well, except for when I have been flooded with thoughts and prayers about War Room, and all I pray God will do through a movement of prayer among His people.) I am seeking His heart, wanting to know if God would have me put this retreat together. I've been dreaming about how I would format the time, getting excited about what I pray God would do and how He would speak.
And because I am so desperate for God's hand to lead me in everything I do, I am asking you to join me. Would you pray for me, too? Would you ask God to speak to my heart - to enter my dreaming - and show me if this retreat is where HE wants me to go?

Because I don't want to do anything without HIM!

War Room is Coming Soon!

To say the recent past has been zoo-y would be a gross understatement. (Yes, that includes our mini-vacation. *ahem*) But there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. (And sometimes a light part-way through it. Like a very wonderful sister-in-law who steps in and lends a hand so we can do things like take our daughter to college. Thanks, NH!)

Most especially, I am looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel which is the movie War Room. I'm going tonight to see it with a bunch of folks from my church.
It opens in theaters on Friday. Go see it!!!
*Trust me. You'll be glad you went.*

I Am Blessed

Family Vacation

*Whew!*

It's been busy around here, getting ready for a short family vacation before Elizabeth goes back to Wheaton on Monday. Sooooo, all things blog are on hold for a couple days, too. Monday's video devotion is set to go, and - God willing - I'll be back to writing on Tuesday.

May grace and peace be yours in abundance today. And always!

Answered Prayer

*****ALL GLORY TO GOD! Everything in this post is meant to give God the glory HE deserves. I seek to be obedient - not for my glory - but for HIS.

Pray.
It's something I do all day long. Part of my desire to have unending communication with my heavenly Father. It is my response to His gracious offer to listen, to hear me, to be my GOD.
I seek His face.
He speaks to my heart.
I ask for guidance.
He nudges my spirit.
I call on Him.
He moves.

Well, last week I watched a video of a man in a grocery store randomly paying for people's purchases. And my heart was simply delighted by the responses of each recipient of his kindness. There were tears. And hugs. Praises to God. Expressions of relief, and humility. And pure joy. It was a beautiful thing.
And I thought, Oh, if only I had the means to do pay for others' groceries. How fabulous it would be to be able to go out and bless total strangers (Strangers to me, but not to God) like that! And I spent some time day-dreaming about how much I would love to bless people in this way.
Then I stopped just thinking about it, and I started to PRAY. I asked God to provide for me the means to go out and pay for groceries of complete strangers - as an expression of HIS love for them. I couldn't imagine how such a provision would come about, but I asked anyway.
So, the next day Brian was opening up some mail which contained a credit card. He activated it over the phone, then gave it to me and said, "Here you go. Don't use it for groceries." And I'm all, "Wha???? What is this? What's it for?" He went on to explain the card was a pre-paid credit card. A rebate from the tires he recently purchased for his car. It contained $70, and he was giving it to me.
As a gift.
To spend however I wanted.
Except for on groceries.
Now, I am not a rocket scientist, but it didn't take me too long to figure out that God had just answered my prayer. I had asked him to provide me with the means to pay for someone else's groceries - and here in my possession was $70.
So I said with a great big smile, "You mean don't use it for our groceries, right?"

I spent the next couple of days in excited anticipation, and when Saturday came - God and I went to the store to bless a few people. While I was thanking God for His provision and the opportunity He had afforded me, I asked Him to lead me to the people He had already chosen to receive such a gift. There was sweet lady named Laura; a young man named Mike - and his son; a man who has "heard of people doing this, but has never had anyone buy [his] groceries" - and who was kind enough to listen to my story about how God worked it all out; a woman who wondered, "What did I do to deserve this?" (I told her she was 'here' and God loved her - those were the only requirements.); and a woman I know from church who is having some financial troubles, and who just "happened" to be at the store the same time as me. (Yeah. I see no coincidence there. Only providence.)
And, can I tell you? I haven't had that much fun since I don't know when. A girl and her faithful God, hanging out by the check-out lanes, on a mission to be a blessing.
God is good.
ALL THE TIME!

Turtle Daddy

You already know my Josh is a nature/animal lover.
And I am pretty sure I've mentioned in the past that he has a certain affinity for turtles.
But have I ever told you about him incubating turtle eggs???
I know. I could search my archives and answer that question myself. But that would take more effort than I feel like exerting at the moment. *ahem*
Anyway, for the past three or four years, my son has been incubating and hatching turtle eggs in his bedroom. On some occasions it has been because the original nest was attacked by a nasty old raccoon, and Josh was saving the eggs which remained. And on other occasions he has simply come across a nest and taken the eggs home to incubate. His stance is that he's doing the turtles a favor because in the wild, it is very rare for all of the eggs to hatch. Be it an attack from a nasty raccoon, cold weather, or some other obstacle - it just isn't normal for all the eggs to hatch. That's why he has been so proud of the 100% hatch rate he's had in previous years.
My son, the Turtle Daddy: Saving the turtles of mid-Michigan - one clutch at a time.

Here he is with this year's first hatchling.

Once they have all made their way into the world - and when their yolk sacks have all dried up - Josh will take the current brood and release them in a near-by pond. Then he'll put away the tanks and heater and all the other equipment occupying the space on top of his dresser until next year. And he'll get back to having a one-track mind on fishing. But until then, I can expect him to keep me updated with multiple-times-daily hatch reports. The most recent news is that turtle #2 has his head out of the shell, with the rest of the body expected to follow soon.

Now you know.

You Can't Do This

...But HE Can!

This Week with Grandma

I just discovered something about myself.

Something which may be helpful to any number of people who cross my path.

Here it is: If you want to get on my good side, do something which makes my grandma happy.

Really.

I guess the principle has been around since well before my grandmother moved into my house, but it has become so much more obvious since then. Specifically, last week Grandma had some pain on the roof of her mouth. And when I say "some pain" I mean she didn't feel like she could eat, and she was miserable.
I have always liked my dentist and called them to see if she could come in for a quick exam. And since my dentist is very accommodating, I was not surprised - pleased, but not surprised - when they gave her an appointment for the very next day.
Let me just say, it would have been enough for me if they had simply greeted her the way they did. Everyone in the office came out to meet Grandma. They treated her almost like a queen. And she was enjoying it. In the exam room, people were equally as kind. And that was wonderful, too.
But Dr. Baker went absolutely over the top.
He spoke gently to Grandma, and listened patiently to her stories. Even the ones which had nothing to do with the pain in her mouth. He touched her arm when he spoke to her, and smiled at her, and made sure to explain everything clearly. He, himself, went and got something to help her mouth feel better. And Grandma was delighted by the time Dr.Baker spent on her. (She told me on the way home, "He is really smart, to have figured out what was wrong with my mouth!" But I think she would have thought the world of him regardless. Because he was so kind.)
All the rest of that day I was gushing to whoever would listen to me (just like I am now...) about how great my dentist is. Because everyone there made my grandma feel so happy.
And somewhere in the midst of my reflections on the subject, I realized the principle carries over to other people. For example, I might be irritated with Josh for something like not unloading the dishwasher. But then I hear him go into Grandma's room and ask about the birds. Suddenly her voice gets all happy and the two of them discuss gold finches and cardinals, and I am over the dishwasher bit.
Or, I get annoyed because Matthew has allowed himself to get distracted again instead of doing the chore I've asked of him (100 times!). But when he walks through the dining room and says good morning to Grandma and I hear how happy his attention makes her, I decide his attention deficits in other areas can be forgiven.
I guess when it comes down to it, I just really want my grandmother to be happy and feel loved.
And if you can to that for her? I'll be your best friend!

My Answer is: Nothing!

Every day the War Room Facebook page has a picture with a quote and something to think about.

Yesterday, it was the following picture with this question to consider:
What will you do today that could possibly be more important than this?

Have you ever really pondered the fact that we get to communicate with the Creator of the universe?
That HE actually wants to hear from us?
That our praise and worship delights HIS heart???
And yet some days we think we're too "busy" to pray.
Oh, may I never make that mistake again! Whatever you're doing today, wherever you find yourself - will you join me in worshiping our God and King?
There is absolutely NOTHING more important you could do.

We Are Family!

What do you get when Mom H. puts together a weekend for the family?

Lots of yummy salmon to grill.

A platter for your dorm room. You know. So you have something suitable on which to serve popcorn and cookies. *wink*

And a glass garden ornament.

For the past several years, my mother-in-law has been treating the family (i.e. her entire family of sons, daughters-in-law, and grandchildren) to a vacation of some sort. And this year we had a family weekend in Holland. The guys got up (way!) before the break of dawn to go on a charter fishing trip on Lake Michigan. They fished for a few hours (and got tossed around on the waves) then got their fish cleaned and cooked and ate it for lunch. The fish that didn't get cooked were filleted and sent home with the fishermen. Looking forward to grilling up that salmon in the near future!
Meanwhile, the girls got to sleep in and have a leisurely morning before heading to a Craft Barn where we were able to pick a project to create. Elizabeth painted a platter which she'll take with her to college in just two weeks. And I made a garden ornament to put in my back yard. It's mostly pink and purple (Shocking, I know!) and says across the middle, "PRAY." (Another shocker.) All I did was glue down little pieces of glass all over a bigger piece of glass. It will be put in some sort of really hot oven and melt together, and I cannot wait to see the finished ornament.
After most of us napped (Josh decided to go fishing again. Go figure!) we went on a dinner cruise on Lake Michigan to end our family adventure.

Honestly? Getting ready for the weekend out of town was a lot of work for me. A month, or so, ago I was thinking I wouldn't even go - because I was repeatedly unsuccessful in finding someone to stay at my house with Grandma. Then my angel showed up (Thanks, Debbie!) and I was able to go. But there was still a lot of prep work to do and at one point on Friday, I didn't think I was going to be ready for the trip. I was ready to throw in the towel.
Yet, somehow it all came together and in spite of my state of near-exhaustion, bordering on high-end grumpiness, we made it out Friday night.

And can I tell you? I am so glad we did!

Time with family, making memories (and cute craft-y things!) is such a treasure. A high school friend of mine lost his wife unexpectedly last week. I'm attending her funeral Friday. And I know my friend and his four children would joyfully go through any amount of stress and busyness to get to spend an entire day with Anne again.
So I thank God for my mother-in-law and her generosity. I thank Him for the privilege of having Grandma in my home. Including all the extra "work" that involves. I thank Him for my family. And I pray HE will help me always keep a proper perspective on family, time, and interruptions opportunities.

Jesus Stopped: A Repost

Life has been quite, uh, full around here. So, in lieu of stressing out over making a new video for today, I found this one from 2012 in my archives. The message was encouraging for me to watch again. I pray it blesses you, too.

In My Fridge

When your son has a pet turtle and decides to feed it fish,
and the turtle gobbles up a few fish quickly,
but mauls the rest and leaves them for dead -
because they were all up in his face and the poor turtle got annoyed
(stupid fish!)
and when your son is also an avid fisherman,
and cannot bear the thought of simply throwing the dead fish away,
because they would make great bait for catfish,
(and because he spent too much money on the *stupid* fish)
then you might end up with this view
every time you open your refrigerator:

Seriously. In the door of the refrigerator. Eye level.
Yes. This is my life. *ahem*

We All Need Some Compassion

For the past five or six years, I have been sponsoring a little girl through Compassion International. Her name is Noemi, and she lives in Ecuador. I just got a letter from her two weeks ago, in which she reminded me she is about to enter the sixth grade. But when I first "met" her, she couldn't even write! I cannot believe how much she has grown and learned in our short time together.
It is my absolute joy to be a part of this sweet child's life. I am particularly thankful because shortly after my sponsorship began, her father died - leaving her mom to care for Noemi and Noemi's little brother on her own. So I know my support makes a difference not only for Noemi, but for her mother, too.

I have recently been given another delightful opportunity with Compassion. I am going to receive packets for three children who have been waiting for sponsors, and I am going to pray for them - asking God to bring the person to me who will sponsor each child.
That's where you come in.
Will you prayerfully consider sponsoring one of the children for whom I will be praying? All the details of sponsorship may be found here on the Compassion website. Basically, it's a $38/month commitment. Plus, you get to write letters and send pictures to your child, pray for them, and contribute gifts for birthdays or Christmas or other special occasions at your discretion. It is such a joy!

Please watch the video below to get a better feel for the importance and value of a Compassion sponsorship. And then, if God is tugging at your heart to invest in the lives of one of these precious children - please let me know.

Lessons in Showering

Friday I got a bit of a late start putting my first load of laundry in the washing machine, and just as I was closing the lid Matthew came charging into the laundry room with a groan. "Ooohhh! I wanted to take my shower before you started the wash." Seems he was getting a late start on his day, too. *ahem*
Now, he thought, it would be another half hour before he could get in the shower without having all the hot water used up by the washing machine.
"Now," I thought, "is a good time to let him in on a little secret."
So I explained to my shower-needing-son that the washing machine only uses hot water while it's filling up. That, in fact, in just a minute or two it would be finished filling and he could take a shower without losing his beloved hot water.
However, knowing my son the way I do - and understanding the workings of a wash cycle - I felt it necessary to give Matthew further instruction. I explained to him that the washing machine wouldn't be using any more hot water, but when it was finished with the wash cycle it would go into the rinse cycle - at which time it would use cold water. And if Matthew was still in the shower at that time he would get blasted with hot water. Which can be almost as unpleasant as an unexpected blast of cold water.

The following is a nearly word-for-word transcript of the conversation which ensued.

Me: Right away when you get into the shower, wash your hair and your body. That way, when you're standing there like this *insert image of me looking up to the ceiling in a mock-daze* and the water gets suddenly hot, you can turn it off and get out.
Matthew: Uh, OK.
Me: Better yet, when you get into the shower wash your hair and body right away, then turn off the water and get out. *insert image of me looking like I've just come up with the most brilliant idea of the century*
Matthew: Uh, that's no fun.

Yeah, because wasting standing under running water for ten minutes is like having a party.
*insert eye roll*

A Time for Self Examination

I used these verses to lead me in prayer and through confession. Perhaps they'd be helpful for you, too.

Who can discern his errors?
Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins;
may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless,
innocent of great transgression.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
be pleasing in your sight,
O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.

~Psalm 19:12-14

This Week with Grandma

I think I learned something new about serving this week.
You know Jesus' parable about the sheep and the goats, in which He teaches that when we do something for "any one of the least of these [His] brothers," we've done it for Him? That has long been a motivating passage of Scripture for me. The lesson in those words makes me eager to serve others, because I want to serve Jesus. And I have tried to help my grandmother understand that principle when she becomes self-conscious about how much I need to do for her.
I am happy to do it.
Because I would gladly do it for JESUS!
Well, lately her need has increased. Quite a bit.
She hasn't been getting out of bed much, and when she does get up to move around she needs escorting.
I hold her steady when she brushes her teeth, and sometimes I simply hold the pan and a cup of water so she can brush her teeth in bed.
She needs assistance pulling down her pants to use the bathroom - and most of the time she doesn't even go TO the the bathroom, but uses the commode beside her bed. It just makes more sense to use the commode by her bed - rather than expending precious energy walking across the hall.
And so I do these things for her.
It was one afternoon - in the midst of helping Grandma with these needs and listening to her apologize because I had to empty and clean the commode - that I discovered this new view of serving. I was thinking about doing it for Jesus, knowing I would do it with joy, and wanted to tell Grandma once again about this perspective. But then I realized, I could actually be doing it FOR Jesus. That is, I know Jesus loves my grandmother and He wants her needs to be met. He wants her to be well cared-for. However, Jesus isn't here in bodily form. He can't physically do the things she needs to have done. Instead, I get to be His hands and feet. That is, I get to serve on His behalf.
And that perspective just made my heart overflow with delight. Jesus loves my grandma and wants her needs to be met with love. And He has chosen me to do it. I get to do all this for HIM!
Yes, LORD. Whatever You say.

Have you ever considered this perspective on serving? How does it effect your heart and attitude?

Reneging

Soooooo, Mindy got her bath.

But it didn't happen Tuesday, as we had said it should.

And Josh didn't participate in the chore, as I said he would.

Yep. That's pretty much the way it played out. Brain said the boys should give Mindy a bath Tuesday and - in spite of his argument/other plans - I said Josh would be helping. Period.
But neither event occurred.
So what happened???
Let me 'xplain.

When I got up Tuesday morning, Josh's Jeep was gone. Which meant he was gone.
Gone fishing, that is.
As it turns out, the kid got up at 4:45 to meet his friend for an early morning catch. Yes, he is that committed to his obsession hobby. And when he got home in the early afternoon Josh was full of excitement about an opportunity he had to go fishing with another friend - in "20 minutes." I reminded him about the dog bath, but honestly - I was so wrapped up in the things I was juggling that I just didn't want to make an issue of it at the moment. So I settled for a verbal nod that the job would get done.
And when Brian and I got home Tuesday night from some work we were doing and Josh said, "Doesn't Mindy look nice after her bath?" I was totally ready to apologize for doubting him. Until I looked at the dog and saw she didn't look like she'd been bathed - and then I looked at Josh and saw that silly grin on his face. Yeah. He got me!
By then it was dark outside, and too late to send the boys and the dog out for a bath. So I figured the bath would have to happen Wednesday. (The thing I neglected to account for was that Matthew would be at driver's training all morning, and Josh was scheduled to cover the afternoon/evening shift at work.)
So Wednesday afternoon I made an executive decision and told Matthew to come outside with me to give Mindy a bath. Which we did. Because she needed it. And I wasn't going to make Matthew do it alone. However, in the back of my mind I was looking for something I could assign Josh to do - since he had managed to "get out" of washing the dog.

But as I began to ponder odd jobs around the house which need to be done, I got a picture in my mind of Josh outside Sunday night. He was digging up dirt, placing it around the driveway, and planting grass seed. And he was working hard at it. I asked Brian if he'd assigned the job to Josh and he said he hadn't. Josh was just taking it upon himself to do.
Then I recalled seeing Josh out Monday night with the hose - watering the grass seed. Without being asked. He even watered some flowers I recently planted.
As these images played around in my mind, I began to wonder if it was really necessary to assign him another job. Oh, we have some progress to make with regard to the way he responds to me when I ask him to do things, but I realized I need to see Josh for the good kid he really is. Sometimes (too many times) I get uptight about certain teenage behaviors, and I feel like I need to come down hard on my son. You know - make sure he knows who really has the authority in this house. *ahem*
But other times, God gives me pause to take my eyes off myself and my ridiculous desire for control - long enough to recognize that I really have good kids. And so, in light of the things Josh does around here (many without even being asked) I am officially reneging my claim that he has to help bathe the dog.
And I am not going to add a replacement duty.
Done.

Living on My Knees

My daughter sent me a text yesterday asking me to pray for her - and the girls in her cabin at camp this week. So I am praying! I am praying God will be glorified and that He will overwhelm Madi, Natalie, Alyson, Halie, Riley, and Elise with His love as He pours it out through my girl.
Then I got on Facebook, and I became aware of so many circumstances in which people need prayer.
So I prayed for Kimberly - that God would grant her wisdom, and eyes of faith to see where He's leading.
I prayed for healing for Weston and courage for his parents.
I asked God to fill Stephanie with the grace and strength she needs to get through her situation. Because I know she can't do it alone. She needs HIM!
I prayed for those 14-year-old boys who've gone missing in Florida while they were fishing. And for their mommas. 'Cuz I know their hearts are hurting.
I saw an update from a friend and understood why God had prompted me to pray for her in the morning. And I prayed for her some more.
Throughout the day, I saw yellow cars and red trucks - which reminded me to pray for Emma and Mike. My husband texted me to pass on a prayer request - so I prayed for Amber. I glanced at the clock at 11:11, and prayed for my husband. I checked the daily request for War Room, and prayed for the Kendrick brothers. And in my multiple interactions with Grandma, I asked God to carry her.

More and more, I am learning to live life "from my knees." Sometimes I really get down on my knees, face to the ground, seeking God's intervention. But usually I am up and moving, living life. Under the constant awareness of my/our need for God, and delighted that He wants to hear from us.
So today I want to invite you to join me in this move.
*Let us humble ourselves before Almighty God and acknowledge our desperate need for Him.
*Let us turn from our own ways and seek His, that we may walk in them.
*Let us call out to Him in each moment, trusting that He's listening and able to come to our aid. Even more, that He wants to come to our aid!
*And let us give thanks and praise to the One who is worthy.

I love the LORD, for her heard my voice;
he heard my cry for mercy.
Because he turned his ear to me,
I will call on him as long as I live.

Psalm 116:1-2

War Room is coming to theaters August 28. Trust me. You don't want to miss this movie - or the movement of prayer which I believe will follow.

Overheard on the Roadtrip

Josh and Matthew: Can you open the windows back here? Mindy stinks.
Brian: Yeah. She needs a bath. (pause) Hey! That would be a great job for you two tomorrow!
Josh: Correction. That would be a good job for Matthew. Josh will be fishing.
Brian and Me: (in unison) (practically) Uh, no. Work comes before play.
Josh: Not for Josh. He'll be fishing.
Me: Tell Josh if he blatantly disregards our instruction, he'll be sorry.
Josh: Josh doesn't care. He'll run away.
Me: Oh! Well then tell Josh he'll have to provide his own housing and clothing and food and... I don't think he'll like that option.
(Parental chuckling from the front seats.)
(Additional parental banter and warnings for "Josh.")
Josh: (over the sound of highway noise and parents) Josh can't hear what you're saying. He isn't even listening.

And so it is with our teenager. *ahem*

But, rest assured, he will be helping with that dog bath! *wink*

Because I Can't Do "All Things"

It is almost time to start preparing dinner as I type these words.
So far today I have prepared dinner for Friday and Saturday, made muffins for tonight, changed beds and washed/folded sheets (OK. There is one load finishing in the dryer right now. Er, it might be done. I need to check on that. *ahem*), taken my son to and from driver's training, stopped at the grocery store, and taken care of various other little tasks in preparation for a short trip I'm taking Thursday-Saturday. None of which have included preparing blog posts.
Soooooo,for the sake of my sanity (and to increase the likelihood of getting everything else done) I am officially putting this blog on hold until Tuesday, July 28.
LORD willing, I'll be home from my trip (I'm going to a suburb of Chicago to receive training in teaching Precept Bible studies. Can't wait!) and back into the swing of things by then.

And so, I leave you with this:

1 God is our refuge and strength,
an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

Psalm 46:1-3

Let Us Pray

If you've been around here lately, you probably know I am over-the-moon excited about the upcoming movie War Room. Because it is all about prayer.

And if you know me at all, you know I am deeply passionate about prayer.

So, a few days ago when I watched this video and prayed this prayer - with one of the creators of War Room - I was moved all over again. Renewed in my desire for our nation to come before the LORD in prayer. More eager than ever to see how HE might use this movie to spark a movement of prayer like we've never seen before.
Would you pray with me now?

Mom to the Rescue!

Saturday night I was in the middle of an intense situation when my phone rang.
OK. I was playing Words with Friends on Facebook when my son called me Saturday night. But I'm kinda competitive. And I was working on a really good move. Probably against "Meatpiesi." And I'm tired of losing to him - so it was an intense situation. *ahem*
Anyway, I saw that it was Josh calling and figured I ought to answer the phone. When I did, I heard a somewhat stressed-out voice on the other end asking me to come to the fishing dock. Seems he'd accidentally hooked a snapping turtle while fishing and he needed help setting it free. And, yes, he wanted me to come right away. Never mind the very important business to which I was already attending. There was a turtle's freedom at stake here. And if you know my son, you know turtles rank above - well - above everything. It is also true Josh could've just cut the line and let the turtle go, but then he would never know if the hook came out. Besides, he would've lost his fishing lure. And fishing equipment ranks right up there with turtles, you know.
So, I did the only rational thing I could do. I jumped up from the table, told Grandma and Matthew I was going out to help Josh rescue a turtle, applied bug spray - and I was off!
I arrived at the dock to find Josh assessing the situation. And he quickly shared with me the game plan. I would hold the fishing pole while Josh climbed through an opening in the railing so he could stand on a board which ran under the dock. Then I would put the pole down and pull up the line to raise the turtle to within Josh's reach. Josh would grab the turtle as I let go of the line and put my arms around his waist, so he could grasp the hook and free the turtle without falling into the lake. Then Josh would release the turtle, grab hold of the railing, and I would release him.
To my delighted surprise, the idea played out just like Josh had prescribed it. Well, except for that one moment when I seriously thought I was going to lose my grip on him and send him swimming with the fish and turtles.
Oh, and before he released the snapper Josh asked me to take a picture. And what kind of blogger mother would refuse that request? *wink*

As I walked back to my van to go home I pondered, I just drove all the way out here to spend all of two minutes unhooking a turtle. Why??? And that smile right there gave me the answer. Even though I couldn't really care less about snapping turtles and fishing lures, to my son they're incredibly important. And if it matters that much to him, I'll always do what I can to help.
Because he's my son.
And I love him.

Are You Secure?

This Week with Grandma

*Whew!*

I'm feeling a little dizzy - due to all the ups and downs we've been experiencing.
A few weeks ago I mentioned that my aunt was in the hospital, and that Grandma was concerned about her daughter. Well, Aunt Sue is still in the hospital. And Grandma is still concerned.
That last sentence is a gross understatement, by the way.
I'll spare you the details and ask you just to trust me when I say - it's been a long journey.
BUT early this week we got an encouraging report from Aunt Sue's doctors/tests. I wish you could have seen how much Grandma perked up that day. Yet as hours and days passed without further good news, I watched her going down again. Each time a text or email came from Aunt Sue, Grandma would get a little rise. However, if the message wasn't sufficiently informative she would slip again.
So this week has had moments when Grandma's eyes had their sparkle and she wore a smile on her face. It has had just as many moments when her eyes have been filled with tears. She told me one morning as she lay in bed crying, "I'm angry. I'm angry at everyone! I'm angry at God, and the doctors. I'm angry!"
And I saw underneath that expression of anger something beautiful.
Something very, very beautiful.
I saw a woman who became a mother over 77 years ago - and the love for her children which has been growing every day since then. I imagined the days when my aunt was a little girl, perhaps in bed with a fever - and I could see Grandma kneeling by her side holding a cold cloth on her head, and rubbing her arm. I saw in my mind a young mother speaking comforting words to her little girl, probably singing something like On the Good Ship Lolipop. And the weak smile I imagined on that little girl's face would give her mother the comfort of knowing she was able to do something to help her baby feel better. Oh, the love of that momma for her children.

Yes, as I watched my almost 98-year-old grandmother crying and being angry at "everyone" - that is the picture I imagined. Because I have listened to her heart. I know her concern comes from years of loving her daughter. And I'm pretty sure the real reason she's angry is because she can't be by her daughter's bed tending to her needs and doing everything she is able to help her baby get better.
So, in spite of the dizziness, I am thankful for the picture of a mother's love which my grandma has given me this week. May I love my children fiercely, like she does - until I take my very last breath.

Beyond the Pits

Life is hard. We all know that.

Well-made plans get tossed aside by unexpected circumstances.

Perfectly good days are ruined by horribly bad news.

Otherwise happy lives become saddened by harsh reality.

In the end, a bowl of cherries leaves us with the pits.

And that's life. Right?

As adults we have come to expect the unexpected, and learned to deal with the disappointments. Sometimes things don't work out the way we'd hoped they would. You can't always have what you want. I've heard and said that line more times than I can count...
So in recent days when my son has been faced with the harsh reality of needing a new transmission and rear brakes for his Jeep - which means he owes his parents more money, and he can't buy the fishing gear he'd like - my knee-jerk reaction is to say something akin to,
"Welcome to adulthood, kiddo. That's life!"
But I've been thinking about my words and what kind of mark they're making. And I decided I really don't want to paint a gloomy picture for my son. (For anyone!) I have spent time despairing through my days, and God gave me hope in the midst of them.
Why would I pass on anything but hope to anyone else???
So, a couple days ago when Josh got up early to work for some friends to earn a little extra money, I sent him this text:

I know you're frustrated about your Jeep. And you'd rather be fishing than working. Not sure how God intends to grow you through this difficulty but I trust He will. And I pray He'll draw you close to Himself through it all.
I love you!

I know my words won't solve his problems.
He still has bills to pay, work to do, and fishing equipment to do without.
But if I can welcome my son into adulthood by helping him learn to seek God and trust that He's working good things - even when our circumstances scream otherwise - I will consider my job done.

Watch Your Mouth

I sat in Large Group on Sunday, listening to the lesson. It was about our words - how they can be helpful or hurtful. And the teacher shared that God wants us to use our words in a kind manner. To encourage and build up, rather than to tear down.
"Because words are a powerful thing," he said.
They stay with us long after they've been spoken.
I looked around the room at that moment, hoping and praying the kids were all listening. Because my mind had already gone back 33 years to the words spoken to me by a classmate in fifth grade. ("Spoken" that is, via a note passed across the classroom.)
She'd written:

The only reason you want (this) is because you can't have (that).
And you can't be different!

Yes, it has been 33 years. And I still.remember.each.word.

The thing is, she was right.
I had been trying so very hard to fit in. I wanted to wear designer jeans and Nike shoes - like the popular girls did. I couldn't wait until I was 12 and could get my ears pierced - like the other girls. I wished I could get hot lunch, instead of bringing my brown bag - because that's what most of the kids did. Oh, how I longed to be invited to birthday parties and sleep-overs with the favored crowd.
But, for the most part, I wasn't.
And with the reading of this note, I became aware that the writer (who was, of course, one of the prominent girls) was keenly aware of my want. More than that, with her words she was confirming my different-ness. Her confirmation hurt more than being kept out of the childish play-ground dare which had started the whole exchange.

So I thought of this circumstance from my fifth grade year, and really hoped all the kids in Sunday school (None of whom have made it to fifth grade yet!) were listening. I prayed God would speak to their hearts, so they might always use their words to build - and never to wound.
Because words are powerful.
They stay with us long after they've been spoken.

Remember that little rhyme we learned as children?
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
Well, I came up with a new one. It suits my experience much better.
Broken bones from sticks and stones will surely heal one day.
But scars and hurts from unkind words are likely here to stay.

As we returned to our classrooms for small group time - and talked about helpful and hurtful words - even as I willed for the girls to take the lesson to heart, I found myself renewing my own commitment to helpful words. My teenagers often challenge my resolve with their teenage behavior *ahem* and I must rely fully on the power of the Holy Spirit to stay the course. But, by the grace of God, I believe it is possible.
Yes, LORD, please guard my heart and my mouth. Please produce in me words of kindness, gentleness, grace, and love. That everything I say may honor You and benefit the listener.

"Live" From Cran-Hill Ranch

Did you attend summer camp when you were a kid?

And while you were at camp, did you participate in cabin clean-up?

Perhaps there was a friendly competition between cabins to see who could maintain the tidiest abode?

Well, that's the way they do it at Cran-Hill Ranch. Every day "Hektor the Inspector" travels to each cabin and awards up to 22 points based on the cleanliness (or lack there-of) which he finds. And while my boys were at camp last week, their cabin (Yes, a BOY cabin!) had a goal of scoring a perfect "22" every day. Unheard of for boys, you might say, but these guys were willing to do whatever it takes to be the Twice-reigning Champs. (They did it last year!)
Whatever it takes, including writing and recording a parody of Taylor Swift's "22".

Get ready for the boys of RC5...

Ode to Hektor the Inspector

You're in our room
We know what for
You're checking right when you walk through the door.

We just showed up
To clean up
Cleaning the way that we do for a 22.

Everyone else in the room can clean it
Everyone else but you.

Hektor you judge our room like nobody else
The way that you check our room gets us overwhelmed.
But when you look at the floor it's so hard to tell.

You don't know (oh,oh)
We're just a bunch of teenage boys.
If only you saw where we go pee
You'd understand why we scrub it so desperately.

Right now we're singing to you and we can't believe
You can't tell (oh,oh)
You can't tell we're teenage boys (oh,oh).
We're lookin' for that perfect score.

I Wasn't Expecting That

This Week with Grandma

Did you read the post about the book Grandma and I were reading together?
OK. So the post was more about God's power unleashed through prayer than it was about us reading a book together. But I needed an introductory sentence. And that one seemed to work. *ahem*
Besides, that was a really good post (Because of God - not me!) and if you missed it, I'm using this opportunity to send you to it.

Anyway, we both finished the book and enjoyed talking about it with each other. And we're planning to read its sequel. In the meantime, however, one of the books I had asked the library to send for Grandma has arrived - and when I read the description I decided I'd like to read it, too. So I checked out a copy for myself, and now we're reading another book together. And a really neat thing happened as a result yesterday.
We were having lunch and I brought up something I'd been considering as I read our new book. And, oh, if we didn't get into a wonderful conversation about it. The two of us sat at the table for a long while sharing our hearts. And some of the hurts which hide there.
As I sat looking at Grandma - listening to her heart, and wisdom about family and relationships - I thought, I am so stinkin' fortunate. Ninety-eight years of experience is sitting right here. Right here! And she's talking to me. Sharing with me. Understanding me. Who gets to do this???

I thought I was doing something nice for Grandma when I picked up that book for her to read. And when I checked out the second book, I figured it would bring her a little piece of joy. In my mind - it was all for her. And then I discovered the blessing is mine, too.

How have you been blessed by surprise?

This Isn't the Post I was Going to Post...

OK, honestly?

I just deleted the post I had written for today.
I mean, it was suitable. Had a few clever lines. Probably would have gotten a chuckle from some of you. But my heart wasn't in it.

And that won't do.

You see, I have been trying diligently to have new posts scheduled to go up every weekday. I even have a little pattern I try to follow: Monday-video devotion, Tuesday-something kid/mothering/marriage/family, Wednesday-something spiritual, Thursday-something kid/mothering/marriage/family, and Friday-This Week with Grandma. Not sure if you ever noticed.
Doesn't really matter.
It's mostly to satisfy the control freak tidy side of me. *ahem*
Anyway, I have recently been motivated to have less and less of me doing things - and more and more of the Holy Spirit running the show. Because I want everything I do and say to be a beautiful reflection of God. And that is only going to happen when I surrender completely to His Spirit.

Completely.

Including with this blog.

I want even the words I write to be of Him. I want the Holy Spirit to minister to the heart of every person who reads here - with His heart. Not with words I type just to fill space in the blogosphere.
So, from here on out - if I "miss" a day of posting please know that I'm not just being lazy. (OK, there's a chance that I am. But it isn't likely. *wink*) Rather, I don't want to waste your time with words that have no heart. If there are words on this blog, you may be assured you have been prayed for and so has the message.

May these words of my mouth (keyboard!) and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.

Psalm 19:14

War Room: So Much MORE Than Just a Movie

Oh.My.Word!

As I type this post, I have just finished watching a 45-minute online event with the filmmakers of War Room. While they talked a bit bout the movie (And had some very cool things to share. Especially the story about how they "found" Miss Clara.) the bulk of the program was about the heart behind the movie. That is, a call for God's people to humble themselves and return to Him in prayer.

Oh, how we need HIM!

War Room is a fantastic movie. The acting is excellent. The filming is top-notch. The story line is remarkable - and scores a "zero" on the Cheese-Factor. (Which is crucial in my book!) But I could say the same things about a number of movies I have liked. And none of those other movies have captured my heart the way War Room has.
Because War Room is so much MORE than just a movie. I knew it was when I saw a pre-release screening in May, but listening to the filmmakers just now - and the heart behind the movie - has me bubbling up with excitement all over again. Seriously, friends, I feel like I'm going to burst.
The troubles in our world are too numerous to count. The condition of our nation, the state of our collective (im)morality, the outlook for our future if we maintain this path... It leaves me feeling so hopeless and overwhelmed.
But did you know each great movement in the Church was preceded by a great movement of prayer?
And I think we'e on the verge of another one.
We must join together, humble ourselves, repent, and seek the face of GOD in prayer. We must!

So I am begging you to join me in this movement. Because that's what I think War Room is - a movement. Tell your friends. Ask your pastor and church leaders to check it out. (There is another 45-minute online event on Thursday, July 16 at 1pm CST. I'd be happy to forward the email with link in it to whoever needs it. Or, I bet you could contact Lifeway and ask for it.)

Above all, please pray.
I have so much faith that God is in the middle of this movement and wants it to explode.
Please pray with me that HIS people will respond in faith and obedience.

And now, for a little taste of the movie. One of the funny scenes. :)

Can't We All Just Get Along?

One of my daughter's friends got engaged last week.
Elizabeth was so excited about the news she called me from camp while on her break to tell me.
Said it was all over Facebook.
So the next time I was on Facebook I went to her friend's page to get the details for myself. (Cuz she's a girl I love so much. And I wanted to congratulate her, too.) But when I got to her page I saw her posting about being sad because of some people's response to her news. Seems certain friends felt dissed because they found out about the engagement via social media, rather than a personal announcement - face-to-face, or at least over the phone. And they let her know how upset they were with her.
Mind you, this young lady has been in a residential treatment facility for the past I-don't-know-how-long for an eating disorder. She's hardly been able to flit around like a social butterfly. Rather, she's been struggling to get better, battling her sickness, and seeking healing. And somehow her friends feel like she should have contacted them personally to let them know of her engagement.
REALLY???

This friendship debacle reminded me of a situation I faced just a little over 15 years ago.
An instance in which I failed to meet someone's expectations with a certain announcement, and lost a friendship as a result.
I was a MOPS table leader and had just gone through a difficult time. At seven months pregnant I broke my left knee. That kinda altered the way I was able to do life! Fortunately, I had lot of great support - largely from the women at my MOPS table. The MOPS year ended and shortly after that, Matthew was born. Adjusting to life with an infant and a 4 and 2-year-old was challenging, to say the least. But after a couple of weeks I had enough time/energy to make a baby announcement. And I made sure to send it to all the ladies at my MOPS table - because I definitely wanted to let them know.
Annnnnnd, a week or so later I received a letter in the mail from one of those ladies. She was not satisfied with the impersonal baby announcement I'd sent. After the support she'd given me through my broken-leg days, she figured I would call or visit with the announcement. She went on for a while about how she believed I was de-valuing our friendship, and how let down she felt by receiving an announcement "just like everyone else."
That was probably right around the time I had a neighbor threatening to call CPS on me. (Joshua had made a habit of walking out the front door when I was busy with the baby, and she didn't think I could adequately manage my children.) So, between chasing kids and changing diapers I wrote a letter to K, apologizing profusely for hurting her feelings and asking for her forgiveness.
I never heard from her again.
I still think of K from time to time. And pray God will continue His pursuit of her heart. But I have yet to understand why a baby announcement sent through the mail was enough to end a friendship. And I often wonder, what would our relationship be like now - 15 years later - if we'd not fallen apart?

I share those stories to say this: If someone in your life (be it another mom, or somebody else) doesn't live up to your expectations, please give her grace. Maybe there is something going on in her life about which you have no knowledge. Maybe she can't do everything you wish she could do at the moment. Perhaps your expectations aren't as crucial as they seem.
Rather than lashing out, why not give her a call and share an encouraging word?

A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

Proverbs 25:11

It's Up to You

This Week with Grandma

You all know my grandmother is almost 98 years old, right?
And, as such, she struggles with a lot of things about which folks my age don't even give a second thought. In fact, they're things which bring her spirits down and cause her even to cry sometimes.
And I get so sad when she tells me about "another bad night" or her "achy legs." Wishing there was something I could do to lighten her load.

Well, yesterday her load was lightened a bit.

But it had nothing to do with me, or anything I'd done.

While Grandma was eating breakfast, her telephone rang. I ran into her room, grabbed the phone, hit the "talk" button and said, "Hello. This is Peg Sheaffer's phone." And the voice on the other end was one I recognized. It was a friend from Edgewood, calling to say. Hi!
So I took the phone to Grandma and announced, "It's Thelma!"
*cue: big smile on Grandma's face*

What happened next put a big ol' smile on my face.

I'm sure it was in response to Thelma asking something like "How are you doing?" that my grandmother started talking about her "bad" night. Only this time she didn't sound sad. In fact, she was laughing. Before I knew it, the two of them were laughing at each other's tales of woe regarding aging - including charlie horses and incontinence. The subject matter seemed a bit odd to me, but apparently among the aged it's fair game. Kinda reminds me of young mothers one-upping each other with labor horror stories, and diaper blow-out tragedies.
Anyway, after that phone conversation Grandma was in good spirits and ready to take on the day.

*cue the music*

I Can Do Better Than That

OK. I know God is into details.

I am well aware of His ability to do more than I ask.

No news flashes with those two pieces of information.

Why, then, I wonder? Why do I ask for so little????

Last week my grandmother decided she could no longer read regular-size type. Her eyes had been bothering her and she was getting headaches - and reading anything but "Large Print" just wasn't working. So I logged onto our library's website and found a couple large print books she would like to read. And I ordered them for her.
But one is not available at the moment and the other is coming from somewhere across the state - so it'll be a while until it gets here. And Grandma really wanted something she could read right away. (She reads to help herself go to sleep every night.)
Our local library has an entire wall of "Large Print" books, so I told my grandma I would go to the library and pick up something which she could begin reading right away. She told me a couple of authors to NOT choose, but other than that - she just asked me to get something that sounded good.
OK.
I have been reading some Francine Rivers' books lately, and I felt confident that Grandma would enjoy her books. So as I drove to the library I prayed and asked God to let me find one of her books on the Large Print shelf. I really wanted to find a good book for Grandma! I realize, you may think I was being a bit eccentric with this book selection. But, you have to understand. Reading is very important to my grandmother. And she has very specific likes/dislikes. I have checked-out and returned more than a few books which she rejected. And, with the way her spirits have been so low lately, I just really wanted to find a book which would be a joy to her. Get it?
So, anyway, I was going to the library and praying for a Francine Rivers book to be available in Large Print. And as I approached the shelf and searched for the "R" section, I was so happy to see one.
BUT I was over-the-top happy when I realized it was "Her Mother's Dream." Because that is exactly the book I am reading right now. (HE's into details!)
And it's just so perfect.
Because we can talk about the story as we're reading it together.
And that will make Grandma so happy.
Because she loves to talk about the books she reads.
So I grabbed the book off the shelf, checked it out, and raced back outside. And as I drove home I imagined God smiling earlier as I had prayed - perhaps with just a hint of teasing in His eyes. While I was asking Him to let there be a Francine Rivers book on the Large Print shelf, I imagine He was probably saying, Oh, sweetheart. I can do better than that!

I have been thinking about this encounter with God and the book quite a lot over the past several days, and I have come to the conclusion that - as a general rule - I ask too little.
Do you?
And I don't mean just the book.
It goes beyond that.
I was thinking about a circumstance in my extended family - in which I have been asking God to intervene. And I realized I'm asking too little. God is able to do so much more than "intervene." He can change hearts and renew hope and mend broken relationships - and bring salvation.
God provided the perfect book, when all I was asking for was the author. So I have decided I'm going to ask Him to do what I know He can do. I'm asking for complete restoration for my loved ones. I'm asking Him to change their hearts and bring them into a saving relationship with Himself through Jesus. I'm asking Him to take this situation which looks impossible, and to use it for His glory. To make Himself famous in their lives and grow His kingdom.
Because when it comes to God comforting hurting hearts, and showing Himself to the ones who are hurting - Oh! He can do so much better than that!

Are you ready to stop asking too little?