What If?

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

James 1:2-4

3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope.

Romans 5:3-4

I've been thinking a lot about these verses and their implications this week - since Sunday's sermon and Sunday evening's small group discussion.

Care to join me in my thoughts?

The thing is, as Paul and James were writing those words, they were thinking about the wonderful good God works in the lives of His children as they endure suffering. Paul and James were considering how beautiful a child of God becomes when that child has gone through God's refining fire. These guys had their eyes on the end result of the trial, and because of how glorious that result is, they had confidence to call us to rejoice - to consider it pure joy - while we're on our way.
And all that talk about God's amazing work because of His goodness, which is fueled by His wisdom and grace, though it appears to us as hardship - it all has me wondering, What if?

What if we trusted God so much, and believed so fully in His wisdom and grace, if we were so confident in His mercy and goodness - that we truly did rejoice in our sufferings and consider all our trials as pure joy?

Brothers and sisters, is it possible that Paul and James were inspired to write those words - by a God who desires to conform His children to the image of His Son?
Is it possible that the trials we face really are allowed by God for the purpose of building perseverence in us - to the end that we are mature and complete in character, truly lacking nothing?
What if we sincerely believed it? Could we rejoice in suffering?

Father, please work in me that which is pleasing to You. Please help me trust and believe in You so faithfully that I am able to consider it pure joy whenever I face trials of many kinds.
Jesus, I just want to be like YOU!!!

In the Fridge

With my crew, I do whatever is necessary.

No joke! One of my "crew members" opened the refrigerator last night and said, "Are these rubber bands meant to keep us out of this container, or are they here for another reason?"
Elizabeth replied, "Read the note!"

What Did HE Say?

Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary

So, I've had a request for a garden update.
And truthfully, as I think about what to say, I'm feeling a little jealous of Ms. Contrary - because when asked, she seemed to know exactly how her garden was growing.

With silver bells and cockleshells, and pretty maids all in a row.

I, on the other hand, can only say I am going to have pretty Zinnias all in a row.
The Alyssum seems to be sparse, and I don't know what has happened to the Everlasting.
Ironic, isn't it, that the Everlastings seem to have disappeared?
Actually, I had more seeds for the Everlastings so I re-planted them last week - in the hopes that they will show themselves in due time. (It's the optimist in me!) The other part of the equation is, there are some green-things making an appearance along the back of the flower bed, and I *might* have dropped some seeds there. Or, they might be weeds trying to invade my flowers. And since I am not entirely sure how my garden grows, well, I am letting those green-things grow - in case they're flowers.

***At this point in writing, I pause to pray because my daughter is outside talking to my husband, and she's in tears, and I have a feeling I know the topic of discussion, so I am asking God to lead and speak. Then Phil walks through the kitchen and goes outside, too. And Brian invites him to join the conversation. So I step outside, as well, because it seems like it's time for a family talk.
Throughout the conversation I glance in the back of the yard at my little garden, and as we're drawing our chat to a close I am in amazement at the picture God had me drawing as I wrote this post.

See, the thing is, what we were talking about was Phil and Elizabeth's future. About finding jobs, and real adulting. About needing to have it all in place before they get married in October. About the pressure each feels to perform, to know the unknowable, to do that which is out of their control, and to have wisdom to operate within the areas where they do have influence.
And, man! It's so hard.
It's so unknown to them.
At this point all they see are some green-things, and Elizabeth and Phil don't know what is going to come of them. They know the future is on its way, but they don't know what it holds. They know that for which they are hoping, but they don't know if those are the seeds which are going to grow.
And I sat there with them - heart aching, as I wished I could just give them a blue-print to live by and follow for the next four months. But then I thought about my little garden, and this post, and the fact that I was going to write something about God knowing what those green-things are in the back row. About the truth that I don't need to be concerned about it, because HE already knows.
And, bam! Just like that God impressed my heart with the Truth that even as He knows about my flowers, HE also already knows the future for my daughter and her husband-to-be.
HE knows.
HE sees.
HE makes a way.
HE is faithful.
HE is good.
And we can trust Him. Even when we don't know.

Ahhhh, Mary, Mary, quite contrary - I may not know how my garden grows, but I know the Gardener.
So I am not worried!

What Are You Worth?

I walked into the kitchen to find Phil and Elizabeth sitting at the table - both on their computers - diligently seeking jobs and filling out applications.
And as I listened to them talking, I began praying.
Not, however, the usual, LORD, please lead them to the jobs You have for them. Please guide their steps and provide what they need...
Rather, this time my prayer was for their hearts. For their sense of worth. For their identities to be solidly founded in Jesus Christ and His love for them.
Why, you ask?
Well, because I heard discouragement and doubt in their conversation.
I heard questions like, "Am I qualified?" "Would they want me?" "Can I do this?" "Do I have enough experience?" "Am I right for this job?"
To me, those questions sounded an awful lot like, "Am I good enough???"
And it didn't take me long to relate those thoughts and feelings to similar ones I have had in the past. Yeah, every year right around tax time I am tempted to doubt my self worth, to question my contribution to society. Because I have to add up the dollars I've earned over the previous 12 months - according to how many times I have spoken and how many books I've sold - and report a number which is all too easy to tie to how much I matter. The bigger the number, the greater my importance - and the smaller it is, the less difference I am making in the world.
Am I good enough?
It is such an arbitrary measurement - the world's standard of our worth, and reading over those words makes the situation sound ridiculous to me. But at the time the feelings are very real.
And as I listened to my two job-seekers questioning their worth in the eyes of a possible-future-employer, I realized how apt they might be to tie their qualifications for the job to their overall worth as human beings. Like I sometimes do at tax time, I imagined they might be tempted to sit in feelings of self-deprication. And for a moment, I wished for those days teens of years ago when I could simply say, "You're wonderful, sweetheart, and I love you!" - with confidence that Elizabeth would believe me and skip away, smiling.
Ahhhh, but adult doubts are not so easily convinced. So I drop to my knees and I ask Jesus to lift these kids up. I ask Him to convince my job-seekers that their worth is in HIM. I pray that their resumes, their cover letters, their applications and their lists of qualifications would not hold weight in their hearts, only JESUS and His love for them.
And, I add, could You remind me about these truths again at tax time next year?

How do you measure your worth???

I'm Listening

So, you know those times when it seems like God is repeating Himself, and you find yourself thinking, Gee, I guess I better pay attention?
Yeah. That's been happening to me.
The other day I noticed I was exceptionally touchy. Getting easily irritated by things which really weren't a big deal. Little things someone said or did would set me off on an internal huff (Thank You, Jesus, for helping me contain it all inside!) and my mood and spirit were getting sour.
In spite of my bad attitude God's Spirit was able to nudge me enough to realize what was going on, and I asked Him to change my heart.
The next day my devotional reading was titled, "His Spirit Will Change the Heart". (I love it when God wastes no time getting my attention!) It talked about how God - through Jesus and the Holy Spirit - fulfilled the promise He made to Moses (Deut. 30:6) and which He repeated in Jeremiah 31:33 and Ezekiel 36:27. I read with eagerness, and echoed the prayer at the end which begged of the Spirit to change my heart to be pleasing to my Father.
And that afternoon I saw a post on Facebook which called followers of Jesus to seek to be conformed to His likeness. I read and I prayed, Yes, Lord, please make me more like YOU!

At the beginning of this year God impressed the phrase, More of YOU, on my heart.
Then He made a way for me to take part in a class all about becoming Christlike.
His Spirit keeps speaking, and I am determined to listen.
Yes, Lord! I want to see less of me and more, so much more, of You!!!

Fully Known

Does Prayer Even Matter?

NO CANCER! Yay God!

So said the text message I received yesterday from a friend for whom I have been praying.
And my heart and prayer echoed the sentiment. Thank You, JESUS! Thank You for hearing us and answering our cries for mercy!

We praise God for the ways He is [providing].

So reads the post on a Facebook page regrading a young boy for whom I am praying. And I am encouraged as I read the things HE has done for this family. Encouraged that God will continue to carry them, and do miraculous things as they continue this journey.

"I'm calling for my prayer! I feel great and I know God is taking care of me."

So says my friend who is calling me from the hospital, for whom I pray every time we speak on the phone. (I pray for her when we aren't on the phone, too!) And I just love her eagerness to pray together. I love that she is growing in dependence on HIM.

But then there are texts that say this:

All I can do now is cry!

Even though I've been praying.

And posts like this:

My dear husband lost his battle last night. He is with the LORD now.

Even though I was among thousands and thousands in Facebook-world who were praying.

And phone calls that don't come because there are no words to say.
Even though my prayers have continued.

It's so easy to have faith and be prayerful when we see God moving in the ways we had hoped He would move. Yet it can be so difficult to remain faithful and continue in prayer when we feel like our prayers aren't impacting change.
Sometimes I think - when I receive a "good report", Oh, I guess God had that all handled. Maybe I didn't need to pray after all. And other times I think - when things aren't going the way I had been praying they would, What's the point? If God isn't willing, what difference do my prayers make?
And in both scenarios I can be tempted to get off my knees and let the chips fall where they may.
I can be inclined toward spiritualized apathy - you know, God's will will prevail, so I'm just going to let Him be sovereign.
And that's the holy paradox, the beautiful mystery of prayer. God's will is going to prevail. He is sovereign. And at the same time, He calls us to pray. God invites us to petition His heart on behalf of our world, and He listens. Yes, He listens and He moves. In fact, He moves perfectly - even when I can't see or understand it.
It is for these reasons I will keep on praying.
For healing. For provision. For transfomation. For salvation. For protection. For wisdom. For guidance. For grace. For peace. For God's glory to be seen all over the earth!
Yes. Our prayers do matter.
Because God is good and He is listening.

Things That Make You Say, "Hmmmm"

Yesterday Matthew and I were standing in the kitchen looking outside at a very cloudy sky when he asked, "Do you know if it's going to be cloudy all day?"
I had looked at the weather forecast previously, but information like that only stays in my head long enough for me to decide what I'm going to wear that day - so I had to tell Matthew I didn't know the answer to his question.
He kind of *hmphed* and said, "Well, I hope it gets sunny so I can mow the lawn." And I had to pause at that comment, because I didn't understand what the sun had to do with mowing the lawn.
Last I knew our lawn mower ran on gasoline.
I certainly wasn't aware of us buying a solar powered machine.
And I'm guessing my ponderings showed up on my face as confusion. Because after a moment of silence Matthew explained his need for sunshine. That is, he wanted to mow the lawn with his shirt off so as to even up the "farmer's tan" he's got going from all the days of pushing carts in the parking lot at work.
"Oooohhh, I get it," I said. "Ummmm, did you know you can still get tan through the clouds?"
Honestly, I am not sure Matthew wanted that little piece of information - or maybe he just didn't believe me. Either way, he got the lawn mowed. And a few hours later, the sun was shining.
Whether, or not, he evened up his tan in spite of the clouds remains to be seen. *wink*

So, there's that.

And then there's the interaction I had with Elizabeth on Tuesday which really had me saying, "Hmmmmm?"
She approached me and asked, "Is there anything going on between now and Sunday?"
Now, I don't know about you, but that question was just a bit too broad for me. I mean, c'mon. Of course there were things going on between that moment and Sunday. Like - I was going to go grocery shopping, there was laundry to do, I had an appointment to get my hair cut, a lady to visit, a talk to hone, and lots of other stuff. Plus, I was sure Brian and the boys each had stuff going on.
So I asked, "Can you be a little more specific?" And my girl - rather than jumping to her confused-mom's rescue like her brother did - smiled at me and said, "Uh, yeah. Is there anything going on Wednesday, or Thursday, or Friday, or Saturday?"
Ahhhh, she's a funny one, that girl is!

What are the Odds?

Phil: What are the odds you'll drink straight soy sauce?
Elizabeth: One in ten.
Phil: Three, two, one...
Phil and Elizabeth together: Seven!
Elizabeth: Aaaggghhh!
Phil: Laughs heartily as he hands Elizabeth a small dish with soy sauce on it, and watches her wince while she drinks it.
Such was the scene I observed yesterday, of these two love birds in my kitchen.

What are the odds?
It's a game all of my kids enjoy playing. Maybe yours will, too!
Here's how it goes: Person One thinks up an action for Person Two to do, and asks what the odds are that they'll do it.
After careful consideration, Person Two states the odds: one in "whatever", depending on how much they do or do not want to perform the proposed action. For example, if you said to me, "What are the odds you'll eat this peanut butter chocolate chip cookie?" I would probably say, "One in one." Because I want to eat that cookie! But if you said, "What are the odds you'll put peanut butter in your ear?" I would probably say, "One in five-hundred." Because I really don't want to put peanut butter in my ear. (And because I am not very adventurous, and would therefore choose very big odds.)
Next, Person One counts down from three, and then One and Two simultaneously say a number within the given odds.
If they say the same number, Two has to do what One proposed.
If they say different numbers, Two is off the hook.

It's kind of like the game "Truth or Dare" which we played a lot when I was a kid.
I like this version more, though, because it gives the players more control over whether or not they have to do the "dare".
And it's fun to watch the anticipation of Person Two as One is counting down to Two's fate. *wink*

So, what are the odds you'll teach your kids how to play this game???

Ahead of Schedule

So, the flower seeds I planted last Friday?
They're sprouting. LOOK!!!

What? You don't believe me???
Look again. CLOSER this time!

Can you see them? The ones in front are very tiny.
But they're there!
And I am so excited. You can tell the level of my excitement by the fact that I already know they're sprouting. That is, the seed packets said sprouts would show up in 7-10 days. And if I am counting correctly, I discovered these little guys on day six!

The thing is, already - before the flowers are even a centimeter high, and waaaaaaay before they're blooming beautiful colors - I am not even thinking about the work I put into getting the flower bed ready. I don't care that my hands were hurting. My sore muscles are long forgotten. I am simply enjoying keeping the soil watered and anticipating the growth of the flowers.
I am equally enjoying the thought of God's perfect care for His children - His delight in preparing us and helping us grow into the likeness of His Son. I cherish the idea that everything we do in our efforts to grow in Christ - when we bring ourselves under the power of the Holy Spirit - through studying His Word, in prayer and contemplation, in service and sacrifice, all of it produces in us life and beauty which is fully worth all the effort.
Sometimes it's hard for us to see.
Sometimes we have to wait a long time.
But - always - we can trust Him!

She Said Yes to the Dress

Soooooo, Elizabeth and her friend and I went wedding dress shopping yesterday...
And after a lot of trying on and smiling and ooohing and re-trying on and aaahing and grinning and trying on one more time, Elizabeth picked her wedding dress!!!
It is so beautiful, and absolutely right for her.
And do you know what it has me thinking about?
I mean, besides remembering when I was a young woman choosing the dress in which I would pledge my life to the man of my dreams. *wink*
Elizabeth's wedding gown has me thinking about Jesus preparing a Bride for Himself. It has me thinking about HIM transforming me, making me into HIS image - so I might resemble Jesus in thought and word and deed.
The thing is, that man to whom I pledged my life almost 25 years ago is sitting beside me as I type these words. And, to be honest, I sense the Spirit of the Lord nudging me to set the computer aside and focus my attention on my husband.
And, to be honester (That's a real word. I just made it up!) I am convinced that I am not going to be made more into the likeness of Christ if I ignore the promptings of His Spirit. So, I'm signing off now.
With the good news that Elizabeth picked her dress.
And the better news that I am choosing Jesus!

Grace and peace to you today, my friends!

Encouragement for Moms of Littles

Are you a mother of young children?

Are you training them up in the ways they should go?

Trying to teach them manners and good habits, and all that other stuff?

Do you get tired of their whining and complaining, and sometimes feel like giving up?

Dear friend, hear this encouragement. Don't give up!!!!
Sunday night I was sitting at the table making my weekly menu and grocery list. Elizabeth and Phil were sitting on the other side - addressing wedding invitations. And my ears perked up when I heard Phil say something about writing Thank-you notes - and how nice he thinks it is that Elizabeth regularly sends them to people to express her gratitude. The part which really interested me, however, was when Elizabeth responded with something like, "Well, it's just what I learned to do. Mom always made us send them out when we were kids."
I mean, it would have been lovely to hear her expound on the merits of conveying gratitude toward people for the gracious things they have given or done. To listen to words about a caring mother who demonstrated the grace of thankfulness, and tenderly instilled the same value in her children. How precious it would have been to hear my daughter speak of how her heart was shaped to give thanks by her dear mother's loving instruction.
Instead, she acknowleged that I made her write them as a kid - so now she does it as an adult, by habit.

And I? Am OK with that!

Years ago, writing Thank-you notes involved lots of cajoling and reminding. Maybe even an admonition, or two, now and then.
Occasionally I wondered if it was worth it to keep insisting on them being written.
However, the more I experience the fruits of my labors of yesteryear, the more I am convinced that - YES! - it's all worth it. The whining, the complaining, especially the moments when your child says you're the "Meanest Mom in the World" are so painful when you're going through it, but they will all be worth it some day. Keep on keeping on, dear mother-friend.
You're going to make it, your kids are learning, and they're going to turn out beautifully!

P.S. I just took Thank-you notes into Matthew's room for the birthday gifts he received this past weekend. At first he looked at me quizzically, not knowing what I was doing. But when I laid the cards on his table which say, "Thank you" on the front, he simply smiled and said, "Oh, yeah. OK!"
#ThankYouJESUS #KeepOnKeepingOn

Yes, You Can

Whoa!
I had a super busy (and super great!) weekend. Which left no time to record a video devotion.
So I'm reaching back into the archives and posting something I was thinking about nine years ago.
Praying God speaks to your heart, wherever you are today.

Seed-Ready

Ahhhh, it's ready.
My flowerbed is ready for seeds!!!

Yesterday I worked hard, digging up the top layer of ground in order to get rid of the grass and to make a place for the frame. I used a soil tiller thingy to break up the ground a bit, and then I added a couple bags of garden soil.
And now, now my flowerbed is ready for seeds.
The very seeds which inspired me to go through all the work of preparing a flowerbed.
(I received some flower seeds from my dear friends in Precepts, which I intended to put in flower pots on the deck. But then I discovered that the flowers would grow to 2-3 feet, and I decided that was too much for a flower pot. And what else is there to do but make a flowerbed???)
The thing is - like most projects taken on around the house and in the yard - preparing that flowerbed was a lot harder than I imagined it would be.
And I have the beginnings of callouses on my hands to prove it!
The other thing is - I have a feeling the effort (The callouses, the sweat, the aching back, the sore muscles, the bug bites, all of it.) is going to be completely worth it. Because I am going to plant seeds for three kinds of beautiful flowers (with lots of pink and purple!) and later this summer when I look out in my back yard I am going to be overcome by their beauty. And while I am enjoying their beauty, I am quite certain I will not be regretting the work I put into getting ready to plant them.
Rather, I think I'll be very glad I did it.

What makes all the work on my flowerbed even sweeter to me is they way God has been speaking to my heart through it. Kinda like He was speaking to me Sunday.
I am well aware of the fact that God puts in a lot of work in His efforts to make me more like Jesus. And although I want to be a willing participant in the process I know I provide no shortage of things for Him to do, discipline He needs to dole out to me, and convictions He has to press upon me.
If it were possible for God to run out of patience, I'm sure I could take Him there. I'm sure He could get tired of digging me out of pits, and rooting sins out of my heart. It wouldn't surprise me if God wanted to stop repeating Himself every time I forget what He's been trying to teach me, or how He's been working to transform me.
But as I breathed deeply, rested my tired body, and rubbed my aching back - while anticipating the beauty of the flowers which are going to blossom as a result of my efforts - I got a sense of the joyful anticipation God must experience when He considers His children becoming like His Son.
And my heart filled with thanksgiving.
Ahhhh, Lord. Thank You for considering me worth it. Thank You for all the effort You exert in order to make me more like Jesus. Thank You for tilling the soil in my heart, for weeding out the sin, for feeding me with Your Word, for patiently tending to my growth. Please help me, Father, to walk in harmony with Your will for me. Help me to be seed-ready.

Laughter is Good Medicine

I have a friend who enjoys puns and groan-able jokes as much as I do. And many evenings find us texting one-liners back and forth to one another.
My sons and husband often roll their eyes at the things which I find so hilarious, but I think they secretly enjoy watching me laugh so hard. :)
Anyway, last night I found some really good ones, and I thought I would brighten your day by sharing them with you here.

You're welcome.

I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

"Doctor, there's a patient on line 1 that says he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me. It means a lot!

OK. One more.

I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it just isn't right.

Here's to lots of joy and laughter today!

Man's Best Friend

I had to do a double-take yesterday when I saw this scene.

I mean, Mindy is a devoted and loving dog. She adores her big brother.
But this chin-on-the-chair thing? I hadn't seen that behavior before.
I wondered what Josh was doing which was so interesting to her, that she got sooooo close.
Then I looked a little closer and I saw a sandwich in Josh's right hand.
Ahhh, yes. Then I understood.
She was interested in the food, not the phone.
So I did a little sneaking around to capture the moment in a picture, and now I cannot help but chuckle every time I look at it. Oh, how that little dog depends on her brother for snacks and walks and love and stuff. They're quite a pair!

You're Worth It

Tulip Time

So I went to Holland yesterday.
Holland, MICHIGAN, that is!
In honor of Tulip Time.

Wanna see???

I captured Elizabeth and Phil in this picture, too. *grin*

The trip to Holland was another example of things not going according to original plans, while God worked it all out in spite of me. I love, LOVE how HE does that!
Enjoying the beauty of His creativity was a bonus.

Once Upon a Time

I don't very often think of things I did five years ago.
Honestly, I hardly remember half the things I did last week!
But yesterday had me remembering something I did in 2013 (Or maybe it was in 2012. Yeah, it probably was. Er, I'm not entirely sure.) and delighting in the fact that God never forgets.

That is, I received an email from someone I do not know - with this picture attached:

The writer of the email had seen this post and was encouraged by the devotion. God used it to speak to her heart, and the fact that she took whatever time was necessary to track me down and send me an email spoke to my heart, as well.
The thing is, I cannot recall the last time I thought about that devotion. Like - it's probably been years. Yet, yesterday somebody picked up her Bible and read those words which I penned several years ago. And God spoke to her - so much so that she posted the devotion on Facebook for anyone to see. And her friend saw it - and God spoke to her heart, too.
No matter that I'd virtually forgotten I had ever written those words.
God hasn't forgotten, and He isn't finished speaking through them.

So I sat at the table, my computer opened in front of me, nearly in tears as I thanked God.
Thanked Him for carrying me through those really difficult years.
Thanked Him for the truths He has spoken to my heart and used to shape my life.
Thanked Him for the opportunity and ability to share those truths through the written word.
Thanked Him for knowing what we need - when we need it - and for delivering it at just the right time.
Indeed. Our God is good.
And I want to be His instrument!

The Motivation Behind Snuffleupagus?

Do you remember Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street?
Big and bulky.
Always a little bit sad and melancholy, as I recall.
But something about him made me like that big ol' wooly mammoth-ish creature.
And yesterday, something made me think about Snuffleupagus for the first time in a looooong time.
That is, I was outside spreading mulch.
Nah, that sounds too easy.
The truth is we ordered a few yards of mulch and it was delivered to our driveway. In one great big heap. And the non-ease with which we hence had to maneuver around the driveway motivated me to get started on spreading mulch.
So I got busy shoveling the (wet and heavy) mulch into the wheelbarrow, wheeling the (heavy) wheelbarrow to its destination, and dumping and spreading the (wet and heavy) bright-bark-goodness around my landscaping. (After, that is, I bent over and dug up weeds which were in the vacinity where I would be spreading the wet and heavy mulch.)
To say my back was aching would be an understatement.
To say I was feeling a little bit sad and melancholy as I looked at the big heap of mulch waiting to be shoveled and relocated would be quite accurate.
Perhaps the gloomy feelings I was having as I stared at the big and bulky heap of shredded red stuff is what caused me to see Snuffleupagus in it.
What do you think?
Can you see the resemblance?

Anyway, as I trudged through the chore of shoveling mulch into my wheelbarrow - tired of the work, feeling sorry for myself that I had to do it, yet intrigued by how much that big ol' pile looked like Snuffy - I decided this: Whoever came up with the idea of Snuffleupagus - his character, his look, and his outlook - must have been shoveling mulch when the idea came.

Now, if I can just get over seeing a smooshed Snuffleupagus every time I look around my yard. *wink*

My Girl Graduated

And this is why I didn't post a video devotion yesterday.
Was pretty busy this past weekend!

The Attentive Gardener

Ahhh, it has finally warmed up for good (I hope!!!) and I am enjoying getting outside and tending to the plants and flowers all around my house. I've been weeding and feeding and transplanting and weeding and raking and counting buds and weeding and pulling off dead stuff and searching for new life and weeding some more.
Two nights ago it rained, and yesterday as I walked around the house to look for weeds which needed to be pulled (And sprouting trees. Ugh! Those little helicopters from maple trees get everywhere!) anyway, as I was walking around the house I was so happy to see more growth appearing. The hostas are beginning to show their leaves. The flowers on the mertyl are blooming. Just about all the trees have buds. Even a climbing flowering vine-type-plant which I divided (and thought I might have killed because I cut the roots) is standing up and producing green leaves.
It seriously brought me so much delight to see how everything is growing. Further, the growth - and the anticipation of how beautiful it's all going to be - increased my desire to kneel down and bend over and get my fingers dirty by digging up weeds.
Because I want those plants to be as healthy and beautiful as possible.
I am looking foward to enjoying them all summer long. (Oh, yeah! Did I mention how well my new lilac bush is doing? I think it's going to produce some delicious smelling flowers this year!)

So, what's the point?
This isn't a garden blog...
The point is, as I was admiring my plants -so pleased with their progress - and as I was diligently searching out weeds and dead stuff which could ruin their beauty, I was reminded of two things.
One, Gardening 101 should be a required course for all seminary students. Because there are sooooooo many sermon illustrations waiting to be discovered in caring for plants.
And, two, God is an Attentive Gardener.
As I was tending my plants, God spoke to my heart and convinced me of this: The delight HE finds in watching me grow into the woman HE intends for me to be, and the care HE puts into weeding out sin in my life and pruning away the dead stuff and every other thing HE does to make me grow in beauty - far outweighs what I'm doing in my yard for my plants.
I thought of how intently HE must watch over me, over all of us(!), and I couldn't help but give thanks for His perfect care. For the weeding HE graciously and tirelessly performs in my heart, for the precise removal of dead things which would hamper my growth, for the nourishment HE provides through His Word and the growth HE spurs through His Spirit. Ahhhhh, Lord. Thank You!
The love, the tenderness, the time, the patience, the fullness of His care for us amazes me!

Come to think of it, perhaps Gardening 101 ought to be a required course for every new believer.
Oh, how HE has used it to inspire my faith and trust in Him!

I Guess I'm Nesting

What do you call it when you get the urge to clean your daughter's bathroom - because she's moving home in four days and the bathroom hasn't been cleaned (or used!) for months?
When you've gotten used to stains on the basement carpeting but now feel they must be cleaned? (Because your daughter is moving home in four days, and her room is in the basement.)
And the next thing you know you find yourself on your hands and knees scrubbing the shower, cleaning the toilet, washing the floor, and even scouring the grout between each tile. Then, before you can do anything about it - you're pretreating spots, assembling the carpet shampooer (Is that even a word?), and cleaning the basement carpeting.
Not to mention the fact that before all these shenanigans began you had lugged the vacuum out to the garage to thoroughly clean the van? Which you have meant to do for weeks, but only became motivated enough to actually do it because you knew in four days you were going to be loading all your daughters things into it and bringing her home.
The only way I can explain it, is this: I must be nesting again.
But, what gives? I mean, I didn't even get this crazy the first time I brought her home 22 years ago. Of course, the size of my belly at that time was prohibitive of things like getting on my hands and knees to scrub floors...

Ahhh, I'm looking forward to bringing my girl home. For one more last time ever.

I'll Never Do That Again

So, I gave Matthew his allowance yesterday.
And I'll never do that again.
Not because he has done some terrible thing and now I'm cutting him off. Rather, because I don't give Elizabeth or Josh allowance anymore, either. Haven't done that since they graduated from high school. And next month - Matthew will be a high school graduate!
In fact, this marks not only the end to Matthew's allowance, but also the end to me giving allowance to anyone. Yeah. No kids anymore. (Officially, even, as Matthew turns 18 in a couple weeks.)
I had another last-ever in March, when I attended my last ever parent/teacher conference.
It won't be long until I have my last ever wake-up-at-6:30-and-listen-to-be-sure-Matthew's-up-for-school.
Now that I think about it, I'm sure I have passed my last ever sign-this-for-your-minor-child form.
And pretty soon I will never again have to keep track of school calendars and events and half-days and snow days and all that other stuff which fills the mind of a mother with school children.
Because my children have all grown up.
And things are changing around here.

But some things won't change.
No matter how old they get, how far they go, or how long they're gone I'm always going to wonder if they're safe, and eating well, and having everything they need.
Regardless of the number of days since they've become independent adults, I'm still going to view them as my babies and they'll continue to hold that place in my heart.
And even when they're well-adjusted, successful, productive adults I will continue praying for them - trusting God to care for them as adults, just like He did when they were children.
Yeah.
That'll never stop!

Last-Minute God

I Learned Something This Week

Wednesday night I went to the movies.
(That's part of the reason I didn't post anything yesterday. Instead of being home crafting a post, I was at the movie theater having my nerves tested. *ahem*)
That is to say, my guys wanted to see "A Quiet Place" (Er, two of the three wanted to see it. Three went along for company. Like I did.) so even though I didn't know what it was about - and not expecting to learn anything about family dynamics - I went to the show.

And, not being one who likes to spoil surprises, I am not going to tell you about the movie. But I will tell you the amazing lesson I learned about families and conflict and self-control:
If you have ever described yourself as an irritable mother, if you find yourself prone to yelling at your offspring when they misbehave or make messes or - say - start a fire in the house because of carelessness, if not seeing eye-to-eye with a family member tends to lead to you raising your voices with one another, if disobedience and defiance from the children in your family result in angry outbursts from the parents in your family, if you've ever wondered how to keep your kids quiet for more than 30 seconds, or if stepping on a two-inch nail with bare feet (while you're in labor, walking down stairs, scared for your life, and no one is around to help you) makes you feel like releasing an out-right blood-curdling scream, if any of that ever happens?
Just imagine there are weird aliens invading the land who will eat you if you make a single peep, and I'm telling you - an unbelievable* capacity to keep quiet will take over.

So there you have it, a life lesson for every family.
Have a great weekend. And let me know if you see any good movies!

*Yes, I chose this word very intentionally. LOL!

Parenting Young Adults

So, Brian and I sat alone at the dinner table last night - a scene which is occurring more frequently these days - contemplating our role as parents of young adults.
Do you remember when your children were little and you felt completely responsible for their lives?
How about the days when they came to you with important questions, and you wondered if you were giving the correct answers? (You know, like, "Why is the sky blue?")
When it broke your heart to see them fall, because you didn't want them to be hurt?
When their tears brought on your own?
Maybe you're in the midst of those days right now.
Let me tell you, as a mother of 22, 20, and (almost)18 - not a lot changes!

Brian and I sat at the table discussing how our parents interacted with us when we were that age, and questioned - should we follow their example? Or take a different route? We deliberated life decisions each child, er, young adult is making and wondered how much input we should give. There were practical behaviors to be debated and common actions to consider. We weighed the pros and cons of offering advice, or letting them figure things out on their own.
And we frequently came back to the same conclusion:
I don't know.
See? The thing is, just like when they were little we feel responsible for their lives. Sometimes they still ask important questions (Albeit, more significant than why the sky is blue.) and we aren't sure of the correct answer. We still don't want to see them fall, because they're our kids! And we don't want them to be hurt. And the tears? Yeah. Same effect these days as then!
Still, we know from personal experience that we can't give them life experience by telling or showing or relating or cajoling or, or, any other way. Some things they've got to do on their own. And they might fall. And there might be tears. And we might want to step in and kiss the boo-boo and make it all better. But they aren't little children anymore, and we've got to learn how to parent adults.
Thankfully, we aren't in this alone.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

James 1:5

*******************************************************************************************
I remember hearing a quote when I was in the midst of late-night feedings, dirty diapers, temper tantrums and all the throes of having young children.
It went something like this: Parenting isn't for sissies.
Yeah. Like I said above. Not a lot changes!

When Hard Things are Good Things

I don't really like saying hard things.
Do you?

I really don't like hearing hard things.
And I'm guessing you're in agreement with me on that point as well.

But sometimes those actions are necessary.
Because, let's face it: we can be blind to our own failings and offenses.
We can be going through life intending to do the best we can, believing we're doing alright, completely unaware that we're crossing a line.
And if we're completely unaware of our transgression, what are we to do?
How can we make a change?
How can we know a change needs to be made?
Unless someone who sees what we're doing, someone who cares about us and wants what is best for us and those around us, someone who is willing to do the hard thing - to risk a moment of pain in exchange for a lifetime of peace, someone who is a true friend - tells us.

I was on the "hearing" side of some hard things recently, and it was, well, hard!
The words were delivered after the speakers had been in much prayer, and they were spoken with thoughtfulness and love. But it was hard. And I cried. And the ones who were delivering the message were concerned about me, sorry for the woundedness I was experiencing.
Even so, they shared their hearts with me. I knew they spoke truth, and I knew they spoke in love, so I listened. But it was still hard. Yet, just like the other hard times I have faced in my life, I know God has a good plan for this one as well.
Oh, I know it wasn't easy for them, but I am glad these friends of mine listened to and obeyed God's Spirit as He prompted them to speak truth to me.
I am so thankful for friends like that in my life.

Do you have a friend like this in your life? Are you willing to be one?

When HE Doesn't Change the Circumstance

Are We Done Yet?

So yesterday I was downstairs sorting laundry and, as I turned the corner to take the first load into the laundry room that contains the washer and dryer, I nearly stepped into a puddle Mindy left behind.
(Not sure if she's getting more stealthy or just broadeneing her range. Usually when she pees on the carpet she does it in plain sight and I notice it as soon as I enter the basement. This one came as a surprise.
*And when I say surprise, I don't mean a happy surprise. Grr.*)
I groaned and went to get my cleaning supplies - to take care of her mess before I continued with my original chore.
And, yes, I glared at the dog each time I passed her. I mentioned how annoyed I get with her messes. And I might have even engaged in a bit of a stare-down with her at one point, hoping to drive home the message that I really wish she would stop peeing in the basement.
I admit. I may be giving her too much credit, acting as if she understands English and can interpret non-verbal communication.
Annnnd, in a short while everything was done and I thought that was the end of it.

Silly me.

I should have remembered God never wastes an opportunity to speak to my heart.
Because as I sat at the breakfast table - with Mindy in view - I was sort of still grumbling to myself when I had the sense that I just felt God nudge me.
So, you get tired of taking care of Mindy's accidents, do you? You think she ought to know better by now, do you? You're ready to be done with forgiving her, are you?
Gulp.
Suddenly I knew where He was going with the line of questioning. I realized God is sooooooo much more patient with me than I need to be with Mindy. I became aware once again of His grace which covers me even though I know better. And I could not deny the fact that He forgives me more times that I can count. So I smiled at His methods of teaching me, and I bowed my head and humbly thanked my Father for His grace and mercy toward me.

Then I had a thought. OK, God. Have I learned my lesson? Have I done a good job? Huh? Have I? Because if I've learned what You wanted me to learn, maybe You could get Mindy to stop peeing on the carpet???
I'm not sure, but as soon as I finished that thought, I might have noticed a slight rumble in the heavens as God shook His head and sighed, Oh, Karen. You're missing the point.

*blush*
I'm thankful He's so patient with me.

Touched by an Angel

Awwww, she's gone and done it again.

My sweet Angel has absolutley blessed my heart!

That is, yesterday I attended her Home-going celebration and I learned so much more about this precious woman of God than I could possibly have known from our Tuesday afternoons together.
I heard about a lifetime of faithfulness which started when she accepted Jesus as a young girl, and continued as she followed Him all the days of her life.
I heard about Angel calling out "Preach it!" during sermons, getting so excited about the reading of the Word of God that her whole body shook, and dancing in and out of her seat at church.
Her grandchildren told stories of driving hours and hours to visit her, the unconditional love she poured out on them - and the prayers she prayed over them before they left. (Including, Lord, don't let this boy drive too fast while he's going home.)
There was a man who looked to be in his 70s who told about Angel taking in his family and caring for them when he was making bad life decisions. He told how God used her and - loved through her - to change their lives.
There was the woman who told about never being able to leave Angel's house with a negative attitude. Because no matter what this woman was feeling, no matter what she said - Angel was always able to find the positive side of the situation and inspired her to grab onto it.
But I think my favorite testimony of all came from a young boy about the age of 10. One of Angel's great-grandsons. He wept as he told of the days when he would visit his grandma after school, when he would come there sad - but she would cheer him up. Sometimes, he said, when he was 5, or 6, or 7 - his grandpa would tell him not to go into Angel's bedroom and disturb her. But when Grandpa turned his back, Great-grandson would sneak into Angel's room, and she would talk to him. She would love him. And she always sais it was OK for him to "disturb" her. I sat in the church listening to this boy - on the verge of tears, myself - saying, "Oh, baby. Sweet baby," wanting to wrap him in my own arms and love him some more for Angel.
But more than any other feelings, I sat in that church full of thanksgiving to God for the work He has done - and the legacy which continues - through Angel.
And I decided, when I grow up? I want to be just like her!!!

More of HIM

HIS Ways, Not Mine

Many are the plans in a (wo)man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.

Proverbs 19:21

Ahhh, sometimes I have to laugh at myself and the plans I make.
And sometimes I just laugh at myself - regardless of my plans. *wink*

See, Tuesday I spoke for a group of moms, and as I was wrapping up I invited them to visit my blog - as a way of keeping in touch and keeping encouraged. I *might* have said something like, "I try to post something every day Monday through Friday, to encourage and lift up."
And that really is my goal.
But obviously, it doesn't always happen.
Like this week, when Tuesday's and Wednesday's activities didn't allow me time to write. And I sit here laughing at the irony of telling a group of women, "I usually post daily on my blog" - the day before I'm going to be unable to post for two days in a row.
Yes. I do believe God enjoys a sense of humor.
(His own, that is. I am not sure He's so impressed with mine. Haha.)
So, there's that.
I make plans sometimes, and God has a different idea - and we go with His. Because I am not about to argue with Him. And His plans are always better, anyway.

Yeah. There's that. And there's also this.
The other side of the HIS ways, not mine equation.
A long time ago God called me to a speaking ministry, and I love it. Love, LOVE it!
In fact, there is nothing I love more than talking about Jesus. (I mean, I love God more than talking about Him, and I love worshipping Him more than talking about Him. But, you get my point, right? My spirit soars when I get to talk to women about my Jesus!)
OK. But there is one part of this speaking thing about which I don't get particularly excited. That is, the "marketing". The need to find women's ministries and introduce myself to them and let them know about what I do, blah, blah, blah. But it's necessary. I get that. And so I do it.
A few times a year I spend days searching for churches, reading their websites to learn about their women's ministry, placing calls or sending emails to make contact with them, and praying, "OK, Lord. It's up to You. I've done what I can. Now I'm waiting on You. If You want me to minister to the women at this church somehow, I trust You to make the next move."
And, honestly?
It gets discouraging sometimes when months go by and not a single word comes from anyone.
But then moments like this week happen, when I get an email from someone at a church with whom I have not been in contact for nearly a year. In the email she says one of the women's ministry leaders asked her to contact me and the next thing I know I am scheduled to speak for their Christmas Tea in December. And I could swear I hear God speaking to my heart something like, Dear one, remember? We're going with MY ways, not yours. You said you would wait for Me. You said you would trust Me to move. (Yes, I know you didn't want to wait so long. But, remember, My timing is perfect.) I'm moving now. And I will continue to move. All you need to do, dear one, is be faithful and wait patiently.
Just be faithful and wait patiently, He says.
That's all.
OK, Lord, but I'm gonna need Your help!

Are you waiting for God to show you His ways? How's that going???

Sometimes, You Just Get Silent

I've said it before, and I still believe it's true.

I think the hardest phase of parenting is...
...the one you're in right now.
Because you've made it through the phases you've been through. And they didn't kill you.
You're pretty sure it's going to get better. Somehow. So you have hope for the future.
But the phase you're in right now? It's so hard!!!
Because it's the present.
And you're living it.
Right.now.

And, wow. Some of these present days are really tough.

Last week Brian and I had a good, albeit difficult, conversation with our 20-year-old son. (Actually, I didn't do much of the conversing. I was mostly biting my tongue and praying.) And I guess the "success" of that discourse threw me off, because I thought it meant we had reached a point of being able to talk things out rationally.
I figured we could now get past emotion and rely on reason to guide our interactions.
Apparently, I was mistaken.
Because yesterday that same son was really upset about something. He'd gone fishing all day Sunday and was uploading footage onto my computer yesterday to edit into an awesome video for his Youtube channel. In the process, he discovered that none of the video included audio. Something happened - and he didn't know what - which resulted in "my whole day being wasted!" So, Josh said. He was mad.
And pretty sad, too. I heard it in the tears that almost dripped from his voice.
So I went into problem-solving-mother-mode and I tried to suggest things which might make his outlook a little brighter. Cuz it really stunk seeing and hearing my boy so disappointed. I made my best effort at being both sensitive to his pain and realistically optomistic. The ideas I offered were - I thought - good ones. It's stuff I would have tried if I were in the same position. And it all seemed reasonable to me. If Josh could get past his emotion, I thought he would benefit from my opinions.
But, no.
My son was able to come up with a rejection for each proposal I made. Even when I tried to explain myself more clearly. He wasn't having any of it. And it seemed like we were about to start raising our voices with each other. Over a situation in which I was just trying to help!
So I got silent.
Because I didn't want to get into a shouting match while trying to help my son.
And as I sat in the silence I prayed for him, asking God to lift his heart. I thought of 101 encouraging words I'd like to say, scriptures I'd like to share, and pieces of advice I'd like to give. But I stayed silent. Because God wasn't nudging me to speak.
Only to pray.

For an instant, I longed for the days when I could simply pick Josh up and give him a kiss - and see all his troubles fade away. Because I wanted so much to ease his burden. But then I remembered those were also the days of car seats, and poopy diapers, and temper tantrums, and a bunch of other things I don't miss - and I decided to be thankful for today.
Yeah. Even though I've been doing this mom-thing for nearly 22 years (Tomorrow. Elizabeth turns 22 tomorrow!) it's still hard. Every day is a new situation and I'm learning as I go.
How thankful I am that when I don't know what to do I can just get silent - and pray!

HE Knows