The Writing Plan

With the hopes that you aren't tired of me plugging this write-your-own-psalm journey, I want to give one more invitation to join the adventure - as well as a little more explanation.
My intent in sharing this opportunity is not to begin a blog carnival. In fact it has nothing to do with blogging, except for the fact that I'm using my blog to reach out with the idea. My hope is that you will use the thoughts and suggestions I write about next week to spur you on in your own personal time with the Lord.
If you have a blog and you want to post your psalm as you write it, that's fine! I just want to be clear that I'm inviting you to participate for what God wants to do in your heart - that's all. I don't want someone to NOT do this activity because they don't want to share their writing, or because they don't have a blog.

Are we clear?

Good!

Now then, a little explanation about what you can expect from me next week...
I see Psalm 31 as four distinct sections, and that's how I wrote my psalm. I will discuss each section as we come to it, I'll share some or all of what I wrote in my psalm, and I will encourage you to spend time seeking God as He leads you in your own writing. Just so you know, I spent three days in one of those sections and I'm going to encourage you to do the same thing.
So we'll meet here Monday through Friday next week, and return the following Monday for a final celebration.
You can also expect me to be praying for you. In fact, I already have been. God knows which of you are joining me on this journey so I know He hears my prayers for you. But if you would like me to pray for you by name, please leave me a comment letting me know you're writing a psalm, or send me an email, and you can expect me to be praying for you personally.

May the joy of the LORD fill your heart this weekend.

See you back here Monday!

Pay It Forward

Look at this! I am now the proud owner of a genuine, one-of-a-kind, highly collectible, priceless, handmade refrigerator magnet, which was made by none other than MyADHDMe!
It arrived in the mail this week as part of a Pay It Forward blog project. And this is how the project continues...The first three people to comment on this blog post will receive something in the mail from me. (After you give me your address, of course!) After my item arrives in your mailbox, you will post about it on your blog and send a little goodie to the first three commenters on your post. And so the fun goes on.
The idea behind the goodie is that it should be something you made, yourself. To be honest, I do not know what I am going to make. Though I like the magnet MyADHDMe sent me, and I think I might be able to do something like that. I was also thinking I might give away my books. I mean, I didn't technically make them, but I did write them! Does that count???
Anyway, the first three commenters here will get something from me, and then you'll get to Pay It Forward.
Let the fun begin!

And don't forget about beginning our psalm-writing journey on Monday!

My Compassion Child

I am so excited! I just received my sponsor packet from Compassion International for the young girl I have "adopted." Her name is Yamileth, she is 13 years old, and she lives in Ecuador. When I went to Compassion's website to choose my sponsored a child, my heart quickened as I looked at Yamileth's picture. I can't explain it any other way except that God was nudging me to know this was the girl for me.
I have written her a note and enclosed a picture of my family which I will mail out tomorrow. And I sent Yamileth an email from Compassion's website today. Having read the stories of God using people to make a difference in the lives of children who are living in poverty, it thrills my heart to consider the hope I can hold out to this little girl.

Please us me, Lord!

And if you sense God nudging you to sponsor a child, too, just click on the button in my sidebar. You'll go right to Compassion's website where you can search for a child who is in need of someone like you to hold out hope to them.

BTW, I hope you're considering joining me on an adventrue to write your own psalm next week. Please spend some time reading Psalm 31!

What's on Your Mind '09? - Devotion edition

It's time for What's on Your Mind '09? again. This week Shane has asked us to write a devotion from Mark 1:40-45, and since I didn't do a video devotion yesterday, I decided to do one today. So, please join me while I share what's on my mind...

A man with leprosy came to him and begged him on his knees, "If you are willing, you can make me clean."
Filled with compassion, Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately the leprosy left him and he was cured.
Jesus sent him away at once with a strong warning: "See that you don't tell this to anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for you cleansing, as a testimony to them." Instead he went out and began to talk freely spreading the news. As a result, Jesus could no longer enter a town openly but stayed outside in lonely places. Yet the people still came to him from everywhere.
Mark 1:40-45

In case you're interested, the verses I quoted from Isaiah are 40:12-14 and 28-31.

To see what others have to say about Mark 1:40-45, visit Shane.
May the peace of Christ rest upon you today!

Weekend Report

Look who I met this weekend! It's Shane, from Heart Reflections. She and her mom came to the Kaleidoscope Conference where I was speaking, and Shane sat in on my Confessions talk.I was in my room chatting with a couple of women when Shane walked in. It was delightful to meet her, and I was thrilled that she made the trip to Michigan for the conference. As soon as I got over my excitement, though, I asked Shane if I could put her to work. There was no one designated to run Power Point for me and, while my mother-in-law said she would skip her Focus Group to do it, I told her I thought my friend would be willing to help. (Yes, I can be a bit presumptive. Make note of that fact, in case you ever come to hear me speak...I might just put you to work, too! *grin*)
It was so much fun for me to meet "the woman behind the blog," to talk face-to-face, and to discover that Shane really is as warm and kind as she seems in her writing. I hope God will bless me with opportunities to meet other blogging friends. Truly, I love the fellowship we have over the internet, but there's nothing quite like wrapping your arms around a sister's neck!

The theme for the conference was A Spirit of Trust, and as I reflect on everything that took place, I know trusting is what I need to do.
When I went to set up on Friday night, I was invited to join the committee members for a prayer meeting that was about to take place. God's perfect timing, you know. We had a wonderful time of individual and corporate prayer and as I left that place, I was confident God had heard us and that He would be at work among us Saturday morning.

But Saturday morning, I was tempted to be disappointed.

My talks, themselves, went well. Women in the audience seemed to be tracking with me and responding positively. That was all good. But as soon as my sessions were over, they needed to report to the next event on the schedule, which didn't leave time for me to interact with anyone regarding their reaction to the words I spoke.
While I love speaking, I can honestly tell you - my favorite part of any speaking event is the time I have to talk personally with women after it's all over. I love to hear how God has ministered to their hearts and given them hope that they "aren't alone" in this mothering thing. And as my Foucs Group attendees cleared out of the room to move on with the rest of the conference, I sadly realized I was going to miss that blessing this time around.
But as I sat and listened to the Key Note speaker at the end of the conference talking about trusting in the Lord, and not leaning on our own understanding, it was as if He was saying to me, Karen, don't lean on what you think is the measuring rod for whether or not I'm moving. Don't trust in the words of women. Trust in Me. I was listening last night. I brought these women here. Each one of them. I have been speaking to them today, just like I am speaking to you right now. Meeting them where they needed Me, just like I'm meeting you now. Trust Me, darling. I am moving and I know what I'm doing.
That's just the way God works, isn't it? He knows what we need, when we need it. He knows when and how to speak to us. And I trust that God was speaking through me, and each of the other speakers at Kaleidoscope - delivering to every woman exactly the life-giving words she needed to hear.

And that is my Weekend Report - Trust in the LORD with all your heart. He is faithful!!!

BTW, I know I have been posting a video devotion on Mondays lately, so maybe you were expecting one today. Fear not - tomorrow's What's on Your Mind '09? assignment is to write a devotion. I have it in my head, and if I can get the time to record it today, I'll post it here tomorrow!

What's on the Agenda?

To Do:
Make Friday's dinner.
Make Saturday's dinner.
Fold launrdy.
Go to the store.
Go to the post office.
Get gas.
Pick up Elizabeth's books.
Pack.
Practice new talk one more time.
Leave for Holland.

OK, thanks for bearing with me as I think through my day. I am sooooo looking forward to tomorrow and the opportunity to speak at the Kaliedoscope conference - as well as to meet a couple fellow bloggers.
And thanks to a sweet email I received from Larie yesterday, I am reminded that God has already worked out the details on this To Do list of mine - hence I am able to be anxious for nothing!
If you think about me tomorrow morning, please pray that God will speak through me to the heart of each woman present in my Focus Groups. Thank you!!!

I'll be back Monday with pictures. *grin*

Coming Soon - Write Your Own Psalm!

You may recall from previous posts that I have recently finished going through Psalm 31. Well, I took my meditation of this psalm a step further than I have done with previous psalms.
Remember the day I was lamenting being "stuck" in the discouraging verses? A few days later I was meeting with my mentor and shared the experience with her, and our conversation quickly went to some of my own areas of discouragement. It was at that point, Jenni suggested the further step. She said, "When you're finished going through the psalm, maybe you should write your own psalm of lament."
Because I love writing, because I know God speaks through Jenni, and because I like a challenge to grow my faith, I decided to follow Jenni's suggestion. So for the past week, I have been writing my own psalm - fashioned after Psalm 31.

Writing my own psalm has been such a great experience that I decided I wanted to share it with you. But I don't want to just show you what I have written. I want to invite you to join me on the journey. So, during the week of March 9 the subject matter here at Surviving Motherhood is going to be writing our own psalms, a la Psalm 31.
There aren't enough days between now and then for you to go through Psalm 31 one verse at a time, one day at a time. But if you think you might like to join me on this journey I would encourage you to start now going through Psalm 31. If you start right away you could meditate on just a couple verses each day and make it through. At the very least, I want to encourage you to read through it slowly and repetitively to become familiar with it in preparation for writing your own.

I do hope you'll consider doing this with me!

*****Edited to add*****
I won't ask you to share your writing publicly - of course you can do that on your blog if you choose. It's just that God has used this experience richly in me and I want to invite my friends to seek Him in this way, too.
Truth be told, I won't be sharing everything I wrote, either. Yes - believe it, or not, sometimes I hold back on what I write here. Not that I don't trust you, but I don't know when some people might be reading and I don't want to hurt any feelings by sharing something too personal.

Heart Laundry

I have been writing in my journal quite a bit lately - enjoying the way God speaks to my heart as I write. Today I want to share one of my recent entries with you.
A few weeks ago we were at a fun hotel for the weekend, and I found myself spending time in the laundry room because Matthew's "accidents" out-numbered the supply of pants he had packed for the weekend. Needless to say, I was not happy. So I grabbed my journal as I made my way to do the wash, knowing it would be good for me to pour my feelings out to God.
What I didn't expect was that as I was washing Matthew pants, God had plans to cleanse my heart. But I've learned that God often does the unexpected thing. And it's always good.
So if you're in need of a heart cleansing today, come with me to do some wash!

This time with my journal, I'm in the laundry room at Splash Universe. Because between yesterday and today Matthew has already wet and/or pooped in three pair of pants. Lord, I am so tired of this!!!
I know "someday" we'll be over this. I know "This, too, shall pass." But I'm living in it right now, and it's driving me nuts!
I simply cannot understand why an eight-year-old little boy cannot control his bodily functions. I'm tired and frustrated and ready to be done with this.

Pause for a moment of reflection conviction.

Lord, do You ever wonder why a 37-year-old grown woman cannot control her temper? Do You ever get tired and frustrated and feel ready to be done with me???
Father, thank You for Your patience with me. Thank You that You have compassion on me and that You extend amazing grace to me every single day. I do not deserve Your favor. I do not deserve Your unending compassion. But You give it to me anyway. Thank You for the blood of Jesus which covers all my sin and makes me white as snow. Thank You for giving Jesus so I could wear His righteousness - so I could experience your grace and forgiveness.
Thank You for giving Jesus so this 37-year-old grown woman - who ought to know better than to let petty accidents make her so angry - can be forgiven of her sin time and time again.

I am so thankful for God's grace and patience. Are you?
Whatever you're facing today, whether your heart is fresh or it needs some cleaning, I pray you will know the presence of our God and realize His grace in your life.

What's on Your Mind '09? - God's Call

What's on Your Mind '09? is a blog carnival which Shane started to challenge writers and encourage conversation. And the question of the week is, What area of ministry is God calling you to serve?
Honestly, I believe I am serving Him in everything I do. The Bible tells us to do all things as if we were doing them for God, and that really is the way I try to move about my day. Somehow folding laundry doesn't seem as tedious when I consider it an opportunity to serve my Lord, as I serve my family.

(That sounded waaaay too righteous. In reality I have moments when I pout about everything I have to do. Can't someone else do this? Why do I always have to do that? But God is shaping me, and I know one day I'll be like Him!)

Anyhoo, I know I am serving God when I'm doing laundry and making meals and getting groceries. I am serving Him when I am talking to the kids during their showers, when I am rubbing my husbands shoulders, and when I am shoveling snow from the driveway. Yes, this family is my first ministry.

Then there's my speaking and writing. I know God has also called me to serve Him by bringing words of hope and encouragement to women. This ministry to other women has been a tremendous blessing to me, and I am so thankful God has decided to use me in this way.

But there is another ministry to which He has called me, which I don't speak about much here on my blog. Though I don't mention it here, it is a ministry I simply love. This other ministry? Is caring for other people's children at Sunday School and MOPPETS.
Every Sunday at 9:15 you'll find me with the second and third grade girls at my church, and on the second and fourth Wednesday mornings of each month I'll be with the almost-three-year-olds in MOPPETS. These children are precious to me and I love the opportunity to be a part of their lives.
I see my time with my girls as an opportunity to be another significant adult in their lives - who can speak Truth to them and assure them of God's goodness at all times. Sometimes the girls confide in me about things which are troubling them at home or school. Sometimes they inspire me with their faith and understanding of who Jesus is. And sometimes we just have fun jumping rope and playing "Honey, if you love me."
While I enjoy my time in MOPPETS - playing Ring Around the Rosy, and giving piggy-back rides - I really see the time I spend with those children as a ministry to their moms. I KNOW they need that time away from their precious babies. They need encouragement and refreshing. But they need someone to care for their children, and that's where I come in. I get to play with the children while their moms enjoy themselves. Seems like a win-win to me! Who knew "serving" could be so much fun? *grin*

Serving God by loving children. That's my ministry. What about you? Where is God calling you to serve? To see what others have to say about it, visit Shane!

Do You Need Help?

Working with Compassion

I am absolutely delighted to be partnering with Compassion International to help bring hope to children around the world. If you have ever thought about sponsoring an impoverished child, I invite you to think about it again and join me in helping to change that child's life. Just click on this link and you can be on your way to sponsorship. Thank you!

My Days Are Numbered

My son, Joshua, is a fifth grader and wants to set the new pull-up record at school this spring. He has been "in training" for a few months now, working hard to acheive his goal. When Joshua began this venture, he asked me to arm-wrestle with him - just so he could see how strong he is. Let's just say, it was pretty easy for me to win.

The key word in the previous statement is WAS.

Did I mention Joshua has been working hard?

I have told Kevin (my trainer) that he needs to keep me from defeat, and he does occasionally give me exercises to work my forearm. (I have learned that's the main muscle used in arm-wrestling.) And I have fun teasing Joshua, telling him that Kevin is going to keep getting me stronger and stronger.
Well, Friday night Brian had to go back into the studio for something so the kids and I tagged along. Joshua asked if Brian would "give him a training session," and he was pleased to oblige.
At one point, I walked back to where they were to see how the training session was going. Joshua wanted to demonstrate one of his exercises for me. So I stopped and watched him. And, believe me, he was intense! As Joshua finished his demonstration, I heard Brian say, "Just don't tell her what that exercise is called," which, of course made me ask.
When I found out they had named the exercise "Karen Crusher," I became a bit concerned by the intensity with which Joshua was executing said exercise!

So, last night Joshua challenged me to an arm-wrestling match. As they have been for the past few weeks, this match was a close one. But I prevailed!
However, my little guy is getting stronger. And, as my DH pointed out, I'm getting older. Thanks, dear. Indeed...when it comes to being the arm-wrestling champ...
My days are numbered!

Psalm 31:24

Be strong and take heart,
all you who hope in the LORD.
Psalm 31:24

I have been going through Psalm 31 - one verse at a time, one day at a time - and today I came to the end. I always have a bit of a sad feeling when I finish a psalm, kind of the way you feel when you come to the end of a really good book. You know? You want it to keep going?

I delighted in the first eight verses - in which I was continually reminded that God is my Safe Place.
I endured the next five verses of anguish and despair, yet found God speaking to me even through the pain.
I was turned back to trusting God in the next five verses.
And I was reminded of the peace we find in the LORD through the next five verses.
Then came this wonderful summary at the end: Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the LORD. It is as if David was telling us there will be trouble in our lives, but when we remember who God is (our Safe Place) and when we remember that we can trust Him, we can have confidence to know that all will be well.
The past few days have had "troubles of their own" around here as I have been facing challenges with my children. In the midst of those moments I have been so thankful for God's presence, and the peace He is able to infuse into my weary heart.
Today I can say, "I will be strong and take heart - because I hope in the LORD."
Are you with me?

What's on Your Mind '09? - Bad Things/Good People Edition

Shane at Heart Reflections began the What's on Your Mind '09? blog carnival to challenge writers and encourge conversation, and I am happy to participate again. Keep in mind, you do not need to have a blog to participate. I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic in the comment section!

This week, Shane asks the question, Why do bad things happen to good people?
Now, I do not pretend to be a trained theologian, nor do I claim to have profund insights into this question which has been asked so often. But I have wondered about it quite a bit, and I believe God has given me as much understanding as this little brain of mine can handle. And that which He has given me, I share with you - in the hopes it will encourage you when you face "bad things."

I imagine the possible answers to the question Why do bad things happen to good people? are many, and most of the options are not very satisfying. Because we want justice and we want things to seem "fair," we don't like it when "bad" things happen to "good" people. It just doesn't seem right.
But one day as I was contemplating this question, it was as if God prompted me to consider the fact that maybe the "bad thing" is only a small part of a much bigger picture. Maybe the "bad thing" is part of a road which paves the way to a "very good thing."
I thought about the stories I had heard from some of these good people who have had bad things happen to them. And it seems each one of those people - though they didn't like the bad thing - saw that ultimately the end result was good. Very good.
*Perhaps someone has seen their character change for the better as they have faced challenging times.
*Maybe a person's faith in God grew as a result of their struggle.
*Perhaps a relationship was strengthened because of the trial which was endured together.
*Or maybe someone discovered a deeper, more personal walk with God because in their hard time they sensed His presence in a way they never had before.

And that was when I felt I had received one possible answer to this troubling query. Could it be God allows bad things to come into the lives of good people because He knows the very good lasting thing which will come as a result of the temporary pain?
I hope that in posing this possibility I do not come across as seeming unconcerned about the very real pain that good people have suffered. I know the pain is real, and I do not mean to trivialize any situation a person has endured.
But I know God is bigger than even our most intense pain, and He is convincing me that He longs to comfort us and pour His love out on His people whom He cherishes so intimately.

I thought about this truth Sunday night as I lay in bed, soaking my pillow with tears. I kept repeating, "God, I am so broken. I need You!" and I hated the way I was feeling. Part of me wondered why I need to struggle as I do. Why couldn't God just take away these hard times? I'm trying to follow Him, to be obedient, to be as "good" as I can be. Why must I still struggle???
But as I lay there, I could not deny His presence. I knew He was holding me. God, Himself, was assuring me of His love. And I was more aware of Him and His love for me in the midst of my tears, than I had been at any other point in my day.

I think sometimes God allows bad things to happen to good people so He can work very good things in their lives, and so He can draw them close to pour His love out on them.
**********************************************************************
This post reminded me of a picture of two of my children and I, which I just love. Joshua and Elizabeth were both sick and all they wanted to do was cuddle in my arms. I was not happy for their suffering, but I cherished having them so close to me.
I wonder if God feels the same way about us going through hard times?
For more What's on Your Mind thoughts, visit Shane!

Receiving His Love

TGIF

All I have to say today is - I hate "jumping lunges," I don't think I'm going to be able to walk tomorrow, and I'm glad I don't have to work out again until Monday.
Oh, and even though I sometimes hate Kevin during my workouts, I always think he's the greatest after I'm finished. And I'm always glad he pushed me hard.
Here's to growing through the hard times!

May the peace, grace and love of our wonderful Savior and King fall upon you this weekend.

Loving Jesus,

Calling all West Michigan Women!

If you live in West Michigan, or will be in the area on February 28, I would like to invite you to attend Kaleidoscope at Central Wesleyan Church in Holland. There will be a keynote speaker in the afternoon and two one-hour focus groups in the morning.
I am going to speak for two different focus groups. My first presentation will be Confessions of an Irritable Mother, and will follow the outline of my book. My second presentation is called, Don't Make Decisions While You're Running Uphill. This talk is one I prepared after writing a devotion by the same title.
I am looking forward to speaking at this conference and would love to have the privilege of meeting some West Michigan bloggers. Registration is only $13 until February 22, at which time it will be $15. I hope to see you there!

My Favorite Flair

Are you on Facebook?

If so, then you know about flair. If not, this statement is still for you.

This is the statement on my favorite piece of Facebook flair - proudly displayed on my corkborad.

Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning, the Devil days, "Aw crap, she's up!"

The Devil is my enemy. He never wants to do anything to build me up or support the Kingdom of God. So I figure I want to be the kind of woman who makes his every day miserable.
Who'll join me???

What's on Your Mind '09? - 2 Corinthians 1

What's on Your Mind '09? is a blog carnival started by Shane at Heart Reflections to challenge writers and encourage conversation. And this week's assignment is to:

Read 2 Corinthians chapter 1 and share what moves in your heart.

Are you familiar with that chapter? The one that talks about Paul's hardships being used by God? He says we can comfort others because we have received comfort from God.
And I fully agree.
I love it when God uses the hard times I have faced as a mom to encourage and comfort other moms.
Absolutely love it!

However, as I read over this chapter again in preparation for this post, there was one verse in particular that grabbed my heart and spoke. You may not be surprised to learn that the verse starts with a big BUT. (If you haven't watched my devotion about big BUTs yet, click here!)
Paul spoke about the severe hardships he faced, to the point of feeling like he had been sentenced to death. And then he said,

But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
2 Corinthians 1:9

I have never felt like I have received a sentence of death, but some days I have sincerely wanted to quit. I have wanted to turn in my Mommy badge and go back to being "just Karen." During those moments I have entertained thoughts of running away, and wondered if my kids would be better off without me.
And ultimately those moments have found me in tears on my knees, crying out to God as I realize once again, I cannot do this mothering thing - or any of life - without Him.
I cannot.
I cannot.
But with Him, I can.
Paul said, "But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."
He raises the dead. He is that powerful.
And as I go through some incredibly challenging times I am reminded that I cannot rely on myself. I must rely on God - who is all powerful.

Indeed, God comforts me in my hard times and allows me to offer that comfort to others. He uses my hard times for the good of those around me. And I love it when He works that way.
Today, however, He is impressing me with the fact that my hard times are also for my good. My hard times cause me to rely on God - who raises the dead. My hard times cause me to rely on God - who can handle every single situation in which I find myself.
I cannot navigate through this life on my own, and God - in His graciousness - works in my circumstances to draw me to Himself.
He is that good.

But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead.
2 Corinthians 1:9

That's how He touched my heart today. How 'bout you???
If you'd like to read more 2 Corinthians 1 thoughts, visit Shane.

This Time I Like a Big But

Be merciful to me, O LORD, for I am in distress;
my eyes grow weak with sorrow,
my soul and my body with grief.
My life is consumed by anguish and my years with groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction,
and my bones grow weak.
Because of all my enemies,
I am the utter contempt of my neighbors;
I am a dread to my friends-
those who see me on the street flee from me.
I am forgotten by them as though I were dead;
I have become like broken pottery.
For I hear the slander of many;
there is terror on every side;
they conspire against me and plot to take my life.

But I trust in you, O LORD;
I say, You are my God."

Psalm 31:9-14

When the Scriptures Come to Life

Last evening was not a good time at my house. Brian was late getting home and my kids were in rare form. It seemed everyone needed to ask me questions at the same time, no one could remember how to do simple tasks like - oh - setting or clearing the table, the boys were in a nearly constant state of "bicker," and Matthew's ADHD appeared to be in over-drive.
I was trying to speak calmly and kindly to them. I really was. But after about the one hundredth time of telling them to stop fighting and start clearing the table, I couldn't take it anymore. I made a very fast exit from the kitchen, announcing that I was going to my room so I wouldn't scream at the kids. Once in my room, I dropped to my knees and begged God to calm me down and give me strength.
In the background I could hear my children verbalizing their realization that I was really upset with them. And I wondered, Was it the storming out of the room that did it? Weren't my repetitive demands and heavy sighs enough to clue them in on the fact that their behavior was out of line???
Whatever it was, I could tell they were sorry and were ready to change their tune.
So I emerged from my room and we started over.

An hour later, I was taking Joshua to the store so he could use a gift card to get a neat hat he wanted. As we drove, he apologized several times for the way he had behaved around the dinner hour. He said if he had any money left on his gift card, I could use it for something I wanted. He even offered to share his Slurpee with me.
Knowing Joshua was trying to "make it up to me," I thanked him for the offer, but told him he could use all of his gift card on the things he wanted. I told him the thing I really want is just for him to do what he knows is right. I said, "I don't want your 'things,' Joshua. I want your obedience." He nodded and said, "OK," as if he truly understood.
And I smiled, hoping he would take my words to heart.
Then it dawned on me, I've heard those same words before, haven't I?

Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD? To obey is better than sacrifice, and to heed is better than the fat of rams.
1 Samuel 15:22

Sometimes He really does make the Scriptures come to life!

The Surgery Story

OK. I have had some requests for the brain surgery story, so - here goes!

When I was thirteen years old I started having strange episodes when I would get a little dizzy and have sort of heavy breathing. As this was happening, I also got pictures in my head of people or places that seemed familiar to me - but as I thought about it I realized they were only familiar from other episodes. Needless to say, I thought I was weird. I never said anything about these events to another person for fear they would think I'm crazy, too.

Fast forward about ten years.

I was now a "professional" woman, working with customers, and I realized these episodes might become a problem. Whenever one of them occurred I had to concentrate very hard to continue paying attention to what was going on around me. If I let myself, I could just "check out" for a minute or two and come back to reality when the pictures were gone. I didn't want to be with a customer, space out, and then ask a question which had just been answered 30 seconds ago. So when I went in for my annual check-up, I mentioned these incidents to my doctor.
Honestly, I thought maybe I had poor iron or low blood sugar. I really didn't think it was going to be a big deal. I just wanted to take care of the little problem before it became a real problem.
But my doctor said those episodes sounded like seizures to him, and sent me to a neurologist.
The neurologist confirmed my doctor's suspicion and for the next seven years I tried various anti-convulsants in different doses, but nothing controlled the seizures. Ultimately, my neurologist said no drug was going to work. Though I had never had a grand mal seizure he said there was no way to guarantee the little ones wouldn't become big ones, and he recommended brain surgery.
At first I thought the idea of brain surgery was crazy, but as we consulted with doctors it just made sense.
I went through lots of testing and monitoring in preparation - including one test when I had half of my brain "put to sleep" at a time and then had to perform various tasks. That was fun!
On January 30 or 31, 2003 (Can't remember exactly which day...) I had one surgery to have electrodes implanted directly on my brain. These electrodes allowed the doctors to monitor my seizures and find the exact part of my brain from which the seizures originated. Then, on February 12 I had another surgery in which they removed a portion of my brain about as big as the tip of your pinky finger. And with the removal, I gained a great excuse for whenever I do stupid things. Give me a break, I don't have a whole brain anymore! LOL

In the end I realized the whole ordeal really wasn't about me or my seizures. It was about God being glorified. I had so many opportunities - to share my faith, to pray for other people, and to trust in His care for me - that I would not have had if it weren't for my situation. Once again, God showed His goodness and power to me very intimately.
And the bonus is - I have been seizure-free ever since the surgery!

Get Me Out of Here!

My life is consumed by anguish and my years by groaning;
my strength fails because of my affliction, and my bones grow weak.
Psalm 31:10

How's that for an uplifting bit of scripture?
The previous few days have been like it. And it's going to stay this way for a few more.
I am going through Psalm 31 right now - one verse at a time, one day at a time. A few years ago, when I first started going through the Psalms this way I saw it as a spiritual discipline - as in "activity." Today I am thinking of "discipline" more along the lines of unpleasant work through which one must go for the greater good.
I truly must discipline myself to stay with the verse of the day. I know "better" words are coming and I sooooo want to skip past the current ones to get to the verses that talk about God's goodness, His faithfulness, and our deliverance.
Can you blame me?
Anyone else want to meditate on being consumed with anguish and grief for a whole week???
But today as I sat and thought about how I was feeling -
*trapped
*sorrowful
*desperate to move on
*knowing there is something better to come, but held in the moment of anguish
- God's Spirit spoke to my heart. I realized there are so many times I am in a situation which is difficult and the only thing I can think about is getting out of it. In those moments I do feel trapped and desperate and powerless.
And I thought about people I know right now who are feeling trapped and desperate and powerless. People who are dealing with cancer. Death. Depression. Relational strife. Economic struggles.
I thought about the fact that when we're in these situations - and we know who God is - we are desperate for the better times to come. We want to skip past the next few "verses" and get quickly to the part about God's goodness and faithfulness, and our deliverance. We know God can do it, and we want to see it right now.
Then it was as if He said to me, But Karen, I am good and I am faithful right now. And deliverance will come.

God then reminded me of what He had said before. I referred back to verse seven several times.

I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul. Psalm 31:7

God used those words to assure me of His presence in our pain. He knows the anguish of my soul. He is that close!!!
When I am feeling trapped and desperate and powerless, when I just want to scream, "Get me out of here!" God is reminding me that He is here. He will hold me through the next few verses until we get to the part about deliverance.
And even then, He won't let me go.

My friend, if today you are longing to skip the next few verses, please hold on a little tighter to our God.
He is good and He is faithful right now. And deliverance will come.

What's on Your Mind '09? - To be or NOT to be...

Shane began the What's On Your Mind '09? blog carnival to challenge writers, and this week's topic - without question - challenges writers.
The assignment? Write an entire post without using any form of the verb "be." For those of you who wonder, that means no using: am, are, is, was, were, been, or be.
Shane said we could write about anything at all. Since I have received so many tags on Facebook to write "25 Random Facts" about myself, I decided to make those facts my "non-be-using" post.
Yes, I have chosen the wimpy way out. Composing 25 individual statements without that taboo word requires significantly less thought and effort than would an entire post of one flowing thought. (I just avoided writing, "Writing 25 things is easier than a continuous thought." See? Effort and thought cometh!) Nevertheless, I will write what I want to write!

So, here we go. Twenty-five random things you probably didn't know about me, and most likely will forget by tomorrow:
1. I favor hot pink over all other colors.
2. I started shaving my legs at age 11. Secretly. But the secret didn't last long.
3. I got my ears pierced at age 12.
4. At age 13, I double pierced my left ear secretly. That secret lasted about 6 weeks.
5. My mom allowed me to get the right ear doubled – even though she had initially threatened to kick me out of the house if I ever got double pierced ears.
6. I got the left one triple pierced at age 18.
7. My most embarrassing moment occurred when I fell down the steps in an auditorium filled with my peers.
8. I have had roughly 70 stitches in my head.
9. About half of those stitches came with brain surgery at age 31.
10. The rest came from various accidents between ages 4 and 10.
11. I believe some of my quirkiness may now make sense to you. *grin*
12. I used to have a dream of performing on Broadway.
13. I performed on the same stage as Barry Manilow. (OK, not at the same time, but still!)
14. I sang in Carnegie Hall during my senior year in high school.
15. During my freshman year of college I belonged to a vocal jazz ensemble.
16. Sometimes the dark still scares me.
17. I sing to calm my fears.
18. And to ease my temper.
19. I can tie a cherry stem in a knot using just my teeth and tongue.
20. I can move my eyes independently of one another.
21. With two of my fingers, I can bend my top knuckle, while keeping my bottom knuckle straight.
22. I love chili with cinnamon rolls.
23. I like dipping grilled cheese sandwiches in tomato soup.
24. And toasted peanut butter and jelly in chicken noodle soup. (Remember the head trauma! LOL)
25. I hope my "weirdness" will not prevent you from continuing to read my blog. *grin*

For more What's on Your Mind '09? fun, visit Shane.

Now, I dare you to leave a comment without using any form of the verb "be." Go ahead. I dare you! *grin*

Who Will Help Me?

For this is what the Sovereign LORD says: I myself will search for my sheep and look after them. As a shepherd looks after his scattered flock when he is with them, so will I look after my sheep. I will rescue them from all the places where they were scattered on a day of clouds and darkness. I will bring them out from the nations and gather them from the countries, and I will bring them into their own land. I will pasture them on the mountains of Israel, in the ravines and in all the settlements in the land. I will tend them in a good pasture, and the mountain heights of Israel will be their grazing land. There they will lie down in good grazing land, and there they will feed in a rich pasture on the mountains of Israel. I myself will tend my sheep and have them lie down, declares the Sovereign LORD.
Ezekiel 34:11-15

Awwww, I just learned that Surviving Motherhood was voted among the Top 100 Christian Womens' Blogs for 2008. That absolutely blesses my heart.

I pray every time you visit here, you will find yourself refreshed, encouraged, and inspired to draw closer to our Lord.

Thank you so much to whoever it was that voted for me. *grin*

Smart Dog? Or Creature of Habit?

I know I've mentioned before that Mindy likes to sit on my lap when I'm having my quiet time, right? Well, today she has me wondering: Is she a really smart dog? Or simply a creature of habit?
I walked in the door after taking the boys to school and let Mindy out of her kennel, just like always. Then I went into the living room and got my Bible, brought it out to the table and put it down. Mindy was following me closely and although I had not sat down, myself, she was already trying to climb up in my chair.
I had to get some meat out of the freezer to thaw for dinner and one or two other quick little things and Mindy was right on my heels, as if saying, Come on, Karen. It's time. I want to get up on your lap and listen to you read!
It all made me wonder, did she see me put the Bible on the table and she's smart enough to know what it means when I have my Bible in hand? Or is she simply a creature of habit and she knows, first I leave the house with the boys, then I come back in without them, then she gets to sit on my lap?
I'm not sure, but I do know this: Mindy is a sweet addition to our family. And I am so thankful for the way God is using her to show me that it is entirely possible for Him to love me when I am doing absolutely nothing but sitting on His lap, enjoying His presence.

May the LORD bless you and keep you, and make His face shine upon you. I pray He will give you perfect peace this weekend.
Please come back Monday for another video devotion.

Never Underestimate HIM

OK. Say it with me: GOD IS GOOD!!!

Yeah, that Note to self I had in my post yesterday - something about not underestimating the goodness of God? I really need to take that to heart.

Nothing has been decided.
This all completely preliminary.
But I have a very real sense God is about to flex His muscles and bring Himself glory. Big time.
Yesterday I told you I had a free airline ticket I wanted to use. I had originally planned to use it to go to Florida, but decided not to when God put a great deal in front of me. (The ticket to Florida only cost $167!) I was thinking I would rather use it to go somewhere for which the ticket was rather expensive. I was thinking, oh, somewhere between $3-400. I've seen those prices when I have "dreamed" of going here or there. And that just seems like so much money. I wanted to be able to give away something "big" like that.

Never underestimate the goodness of God.

Well, yesterday afternoon I received an email from a fellow blogger in Oregon telling me that she would very much like for me to come and speak for the women at her church. She told me about their women's ministry (They also have a MOPS group!) and I was getting excited about the idea. Then, because I'm a bit of a control freak planner, I checked to see what a plane ticket would cost to get me there.
Are you ready for this?
It would be over $1,000!
Now that is the kind of ticket I want to get for free! I want to use it to go somewhere which would otherwise be cost-prohibitive.

Never underestimate the goodness of God.

But that isn't all.
I have also had a desire for quite some time to visit a dear blog friend who lives in Texas. Well, guess what? One of the return flight options from Oregon would require an overnight stay in Dallas. My first thought was, But then I'd have to get a hotel and I'd have to arrange for transportation. And I bet the hotel would be expensive. And I don't want to go through all that. And I'd really rather just fly home in one day. And...
And then God nudged me, Uh, Karen, who do you know that lives just outside of Dallas? You wanted to visit her. I could make that happen.

Granted, nothing has been decided yet. But it looks to me like there is a very real possibility that I will be getting a $1,000 airline ticket for free. And with that ticket I might be able to speak for the women and the moms in OREGON. And with that same ticket, I just may be able to spend time with my friend in TEXAS.
Friends, only God could make that happen.

Never underestimate the goodness of God.

Flying Free

Last summer I received a free airline ticket and was going to give it to a MOPS group in Florida, so I could fly to them for free and speak.
I say "was going to" because plans have changed a bit.
Oh, I am still going to Florida to speak (In April. Oh, how I wish it was today! I want to get away from this c-c-c-cold weather!!!) but I'm not using that free ticket. You see, the day after God sent me an email through my friend, He sent me another one. This time He masked Himself as Priceline.
I was planning to make my flight reservation that day for my Florida trip and when I saw the email "from Priceline," I decided to check it out. You know, just for kicks. I didn't expect there to really be a good deal for me.

Note to Self: Never underestimate the goodness of God.

I could not believe the price I found for a direct flight from Detroit to Orlando. I thought about it for about two seconds, er, fasted and prayed for days, er, called my manager for input. Oh, honestly, I don't think I even spent two seconds contemplating it. I just knew there was no way I was going to use a free ticket when I could buy one for such a low price. So I went ahead and bought the ticket, believing it was a gift from God and trusting He'll reimburse me as He sees fit.

Sooooo, I am going to Ocala, Florida on April 27. It will be an evening event. I'll be speaking twice - with a break for CHOCOLATE in between. And it's open to all women. I'll post more details in the coming months. If you're in the area I would love for you to come!
But, I am not using that free airline ticket.
Which means, I am going to use it to fly somewhere else for free. But I don't know where. This is where you come in. If you are involved in Women's Ministry or a Moms' group and you would like me to come and speak, but you know the plane ticket is outside your budget, please email me. I would like to use this ticket to come to you.
If I get more than one response to this offer, I'll probably just have myself an old-fashioned drawing. Or I'll watch my inbox to see if God sends me more emails from Priceline. *grin*

I am so excited to be able to give this ticket away. I know God already knows where I'll go, and each woman to whom I will speak. I pray He will begin now making the way and preparing the hearts. And I look forward to finding out His plans!

Why Am I Doing This???

The temperature is well below the freezing point this morning. In fact, my computer says it's two degrees. But I am choosing to not believe its accuracy.
I'm thinking back to yesterday when it was about the same - and how cold I was between 8:15 and 8:35. I'm remembering the cold legs, the frozen cheeks, and the frost on my eyelashes. I am looking at the clock which tells me it's time to start again, and I'm wondering, Why am I doing this?
I could just grab my keys and get in the van and drive the boys to school. Then we wouldn't need to leave until about 8:23. And if I went out and started the van early, we could even have a warm ride.
Yeah. I could do that.

So, why am I doing this?

Why do I walk my boys to school every morning and go back every afternoon to pick them up - in this freezing cold weather? Am I out of my mind?
Don't answer that! *grin*

I'll tell you why.
*Because Matthew always holds my hand when we walk to and from school. Always.
*Because I get to observe my sons talking to each other about teachers and activities and interests. For ten minutes (most mornings and afternoons) they aren't fighting with each other, and I cherish those moments.
*Because I get to participate in the conversation, too.
*Because every morning when we get to the play ground by the school both of my boys give me hugs and tell me they love me.
*Because the other day after school I got to listen to Joshua tell me that he sits behind a girl who is friends with a girl that Joshua's friend "like-likes." And Joshua told this girl that his friend like-likes her friend. And now that girl is going to tell her friend about Joshua's friend.
And I laughed inside because I remember being a fifth-grader, too.
*Because none of these things happen when we're in the van for two minutes - me in front, and the boys in back.
*And because I am following the stories of a couple boys on Caring Bridge who are sick with cancer. I know their parents would give anything to have their sons healthy and able to walk to school - even when it's really cold outside.

So we're all bundling up - I've got my long underwear on today! - and we're heading out the door for a ten minute walk to school.
I'll hold Matthew's hand.
When the wind blows hard in my face I'll probably get a little teary and then the frost will form on my eyelashes.
The boys will complain about their art teacher taking too much time "reviewing" and not giving them enough time to work on their project.
We'll run down the hill to enjoy the effects of gravity.
And by the time we make it to school, we'll probably be talking about watching the guys on Myth Busters blowing things up.
Joshua will hug me and we'll say our I love yous. Matthew will probably linger for a longer hug, and for a moment I'll forget about how cold I am.
Then I'll walk back home with a smile *frozen* on my face, as I think about what a blessed mom I am. And I'll thank God for my warm house as soon as I open the door!

**********************************************************************
Last November or December I did tell the boys I would be willing to drive them to school when the weather got really cold, if they wanted me to. But both of them insisted they would rather walk. I love that they enjoy our walks to school, and I pray they will remember these times fondly in the years to come.
Do you have a special thing you do (or did) with your children that other people may think is crazy? I'd love to hear about it!

Psalm 121

I lift up my eyes to the hills -
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip -
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over you will neither slumber or sleep.
The LORD watches over you -
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
The LORD will keep you from all harm -
he will watch over your life;
the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Psalm 121:1-8

Bath Time

OK, I know some of you think I'm a little crazy for letting my daughter have pet rats. Are you ready for this?

I just helped her bathe them - in the kitchen sink. With puppy shampoo. And I have the scratches on my hands to prove it!
Then we towel dried them and Elizabeth brushed/fluffed their fur while each of them took a turn sitting on my shoulder.
I wish there was a way we could have video recorded the incident. I'm sure it would have been hilarious to see.

A woman and her daughter, standing 5'5" and 5'4", struggle to contain a seven inch rat in the sink. (We only attempted one at a time!) One fills the cup with warm water while the other speaks kind words to the rat, trying to calm it down so it stops pooping.
With the rat thoroughly wet, the daughter squirts shampoo into the mother's hand, who then tries massaging it into the rat's fur.
**Note: Rats are not particularly fond of bathing. And rats with shampoo in their fur are slippery.
**Another note: Even though the rat's fur is slippery, it's claws remain sharp. Be careful!
Daughter gets raisins to give the rat - which don't have the calming effect intended - and Mom starts rinsing. The rat claws climbs up Mom's arm, as she squeals, "Elizabeth, help me!"
After a few more attempts to rinse the rat, Mom and Daughter call it good and wrap the critter in a towel. Then they massage the rat and congratulate it for doing such a "good job."

And as I re-read the account of my evening activities, I think I may be beginning to agree with those of you who think I'm just a little bit crazy.
But the rats smell and look much better now!

Shower Talk

Each of my kids has this "thing" with having either Brian or I come into the bathroom and talk to them while they're taking their showers. When I say, "It's time for your shower," the very next words spoken are sure to be, "Will you talk to me?" Sometimes I honestly don't want to stop what I'm doing to talk, but I am reminded there will come a day when they won't want to talk to me as much. I know I need to cherish this time. Blah, blah, blah.
Seriously, this shower talk can be very precious. We've had some good conversations over shampoo and conditioner.
And the other night, God got in on it, too. Used the very words I spoke to Matthew to speak to me. See if you can catch it.

Matthew: I'm almost done.
Me: That's great, Matthew. See? When you do as you're told, instead of messing around, you get things done quickly.
Matthew: Yeah.
Me: You're doing a good job.
Matthew: Thanks.
Me: Hey, Matthew, since we're talking about it, you know what I'd like to see?
Matthew: What?
Me: I'd really like it if you would do things the first time I tell you. Tonight I had to tell you lots of times to get ready for bed, didn't I?
Matthew: Yes.
Me: I shouldn't have to tell you that many times, honey. Once should be enough. I should only have to tell you one time to do something. And if you would do it that first time, things would go a lot better, wouldn't they?

Oooh! Right there!

I heard myself saying those words, but God - Himself - was speaking to me. I leaned my head against the wall and prayed. You're right, Lord. I am sorry for not listening and obeying as I should. Thank You for Your patience with me. Please help me to extend that same grace to Matthew.

What's on Your Mind '09? - Anchor Verse

This week's topic of conversation for What's on Your Mind '09? is anchor verses. Not sure what an anchor verse is? Well, according to Elaine it's a verse one chooses to have as their focus - on which they rely, and to which they cling during difficult times.
Sounds like a good idea, don't you think?
I will admit, I have yet to sit down and consciously choose an anchor verse for 2009. But as I thought about this concept it occurred to me that perhaps God was choosing one for me. Because I have noticed His habit of repeating things to me when He really wants me to "get it." And He seems to be repeating Himself again.
I am in the process of going through Psalm 121 and am convinced of one thing as I am taking this journey.

God is watching me.

Read this, and see if you agree.

I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.
The LORD watches over you - the LORD is your shade at your right hand;
Psalm 121:5

That's as far as I've gone, but I have looked ahead and noticed that "watch" shows up again in two of the remaining three verses in this psalm. It seems to me that "watch" is also implied by the facts that God won't let our feet slip, He doesn't slumber or sleep, and He's at our right hand.
God is convincing me again of His care for me as I spend time in this psalm. He is near to me, and I know His eyes are ever on me. How He can simultaneously pay as much attention to you - and the rest of the universe - while He's concentrating on me, is beyond my comprehension. But I trust Him. And I believe He can do it.
Yes. God is watching me - when my feet are on slippery surfaces, night and day, wherever I go. I think I might hold on to this entire psalm as my anchor this year.

To read about more anchor verses, visit Shane!

What Are You Waiting For?

Before you click the "play" button," please grab your Bible and open up to Matthew 14:22. I'd like you to read along!

Our Help!!!

I have just a minute before I need to go pick up my grandma to run errands and see the doctor, but I wanted to share a thought from my time in the Psalms this morning.

My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.
Psalm 121:2

Did you see that?
The Creator of the universe is our help!
Why, oh why, do we ever doubt???

A New Reading Plan

Yesterday I finished my first-ever journey through the Bible. On January 15, 2008 I began reading through the Bible chronologically, and yesterday I came to the end.
And guess what?

GOD WINS!!!!!

God bestowed so many blessings on me over the past year as I have been following this reading program.
I know I've said this before, but I'll say it again anyway. If you have never read through the Bible, you really ought to do it! I'm sure there are lots of great reading programs, but I am particularly fond of this one because it lets you pick your start date (the first or fifteenth of any month) and the way you want to read. (Genesis to Revelation, chronologically, historically, etc.) You can even set your homepage to be your reading schedule. It's very cool.

Now that I have completed my first journey, I am going to take some time in the Psalms - going through them slowly: one verse at a time, one day at a time. I started this morning on Psalm 121.

I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from?
Psalm 121:1

I know where my help is supposed to come from, but that's in verse two and I didn't want to jump ahead. So this morning I spent time asking God to show me the "other" places I am looking for help. I considered the hills to which I lift up my eyes.
*ADHD medicine
*Lists and schedules
*Words of affirmation
I know each of these things can be used by God for good - and I believe He is using them for good in my life. But I also knew I needed to spend time confessing that sometimes I loose sight of Him and lift my eyes up to these "hills" for help, rather than to Him, alone.
So that's what I did. I confessed.
Then I simply sat quietly in His presence - so I could just "be" with Him. Like Jenni encouraged me to do last week.
And that's my new reading plan. I'm going to go through Psalm 121 - and a couple others, I think, because 121 is very short. I will ask Him to speak to me through His word, and I know I am going to delight in what He says because His words are like honey. Each day I'm going to spend time being with God, and I look forward to receiving His love.
And in another month or so I am going to begin my second journey through the Bible. I can't wait to be reminded of God's glory and goodness and power, and to find treasures I missed the first time through.

How about you? How are you finding fellowship with God today?

What's on Your Mind '09? - God in the Ordinary

What's on Your Mind '09? is a new blog carnival which Shane at Heart Reflections began to challenge writers and encourage conversation. I am pleased to play hostess this week!
So what's today's topic of conversation?

We have all heard from God when we read our Bibles, listened to sermons at church, or gone to Bible study, right? But is God limited to our “spiritual” activities? Or does He show Himself in the middle of our everyday activities, too? Share about a time when God spoke to your heart in the midst of the ordinary.

I remember an ordinary morning, not too long ago, when God met me in the van. It was early and I was on my way to work out with my trainer.
For some reason I was thinking about some of the places I would love to go and speak. God had put particular people and places on my heart and I was praying about them, telling God how much I want to go, but pointing out the obvious. (As if He didn't already know!) God, I know the distance isn't a big deal to You, and I know You have the resources. But the distances are big for us, and plane tickets are expensive. Lord, You know I would love to go to X, Y, and Z, but...
At just about this point in my prayer, I turned the corner and saw a train crossing the road. I sighed, and for a moment I stopped praying. I hadn't planned for a train to slow me down. I needed every second I had to make it to the studio on time. Trains don't usually cross my path on workout mornings, so this one caught me by surprise.
OK, honestly, it wouldn't be a big deal if I was a minute or two tardy. (In fact, it might get me out of a few reps of torture.) But the Type-A freak in me was not liking the prospect of being late. So I continued on, hoping - somehow - I would be on time.
That's when God showed off. Before I reached the railroad tracks, before I even had to apply the brakes, the end of the train passed and the gates raised. I breathed a sigh of relief, drove over the tracks, and wondered, What was that all about???
Really, in the 13 months that I have been getting up at 5:35 (A.M.!!!) to go into the studio to workout, I can only think of one other time that I've seen a train. On this otherwise ordinary morning, this train was not ordinary, and I wanted to understand why it had crossed my path.
At that very moment, God spoke to my heart. It was as if He said, Karen, dear, do you think it was too difficult for Me to arrange for that train to cross your path this morning? I've only done it once before, you know. Nah, it was easy.
The timing was pretty good, don't you think? I worked that out for you at the same time I was managing the rest of the universe, too, darling. I can do that.
And do you know what else I can do? I can take you anywhere I want you to go to share the message of hope I have placed in you. I can do it, Karen. No distance is too far, and no expense is to great. I can do it.
And I will.
Watch Me!

That's my story of God in the ordinary. What's yours?
If you have a blog, I hope you'll share your thoughts and use Mr. Linky so we can all come and read. (Aren't you proud of me? I figured "him" out all by myself! OK, there were step-by-step instructions on his website. But I carried them out all by myself. *grin*)
And if you don't have a blog, that's OK. Please share your experience of God in the ordinary in my comment section.

What's in a Name?

If you're intereseted in learning more about Jan Johnson, you can do that here.
Please come back tomorrow, as I am hosting What's on Your Mind '09? I look forward to reading your thoughts!

HE Helps Me Understand

Yep. HE laughs, HE runs, HE forgives, HE emails. And, HE helps me understand. HE sure is busy!
Yesterday I was meeting with my mentor and we were talking about the fact that God loves us just for us. OK, Jenni was talking about it. I was sitting there thinking, Yeah, I know this in theory. But, really, do you think? When I'm not doing anything, even then He loves me? Really???
She was encouraging me to think more about being, and not focus so much on doing. And that's a challenge for me. There are always thoughts running around in my head about what I can "do." A talk or a devotion to write. A prayer to be said for a friend. A blog post to compose. Not to mention all the "stuff" of caring for a family.
And the thing is, I LOVE doing all this stuff. I feel as if God and I are running a course together and sometimes I think I feel closer to Him when I am ministering than at any other time. So to honestly consider that He loves me when I am sitting and doing nothing was hard for me.
But Jenni encouraged me to press on and try to understand. And she gave me some practical suggestions. (She knows me well!)
Then she closed our time together in prayer. And as she prayed, HE helped me understand. Right on time, as always.
As Jenni prayed, I remembered earlier in the day when I was having my quiet time. Mindy, our puppy, came to sit on my lap. (She does this often when I'm having my quiet time. Sits on my lap and I read the Bible to her. I figure it's just a matter of time until I have her barking out a prayer for salvation. *grin*)
Anyway, I remembered how much I enjoyed having Mindy on my lap. She just sat there and let me rub her back. She wasn't being particularly "puppy-ish." Wasn't playing with the kids, or running around the yard, or chasing any of her toys. Nothing that would make a person think, Now, that's what a dog should do. She just sat on my lap, doing nothing. And I loved her.
It was as if God were saying to me, Do you see, darling? Just like you cherish Mindy when she is doing nothing but sitting with you, so I delight in you. Just you, dear one. Come and sit with Me a while. I love you.

And do you know what?

I believe Him.

Do you?

HE Emails

If you were reading here last summer, you may remember I "accidentally" got started on a mini series about God. It started with HE Speaks. Then came HE Laughs, HE Knows What We Need, HE Forgives, HE Comforts, HE Runs, HE Watches, and HE Gives Hope.
Goodness, I didn't realize the list was that long. Please do not feel obligated to go and read each one. But you might enjoy picking one or two! *grin*
Anyway, today God showed me something else HE does.

HE emails!

I have mentioned previously that I am speaking at a women's conference in Holland, Michigan on February 28. For one of the sessions I'll be giving my talk, Confessions of an Irritable Mother. But for the other session, I am writing a new talk.
I have had the concept for this talk in my mind since last spring and now have the opportunity to flesh it out. Over the past few weeks I have been making notes about ideas I wanted to include, but when I sat down to write it just wasn't flowing well. So last night I decided to send an email to my prayer team and ask them to pray for me as I write. (Brilliant, I know. Ask your prayer team to pray. OK, I'm a little slow sometimes!)
Anyway, this morning when I sat down to write - and even before I began - I could sense God leading me. And I was so thankful.

But then He went a step further.

Yes, the talk seemed to be "flowing" and I was glad for that. But in the back of my mind I was still having doubts. Should I really say this? Is anyone going to relate to this thought? Will I touch someone with that statement?
And then God emailed me to put my anxious thoughts to rest. Well, He used my friend's fingers and email account, but I am just sure the email came from Him.
As I was writing, I saw on the corner of my computer screen that an email had just come from this friend, so I clicked over to read it. Her husband bought her a copy of Finding Joy for Christmas (What a guy! *grin*) and she was emailing me to let me know how God had been speaking to her through the devotions, and that He had timed things perfectly.
She finished her message by saying, "I just wanted to share with you how your words are being used. Isn't it amazing that God knew when and where I would need to read that devotional and those words? I love that!"

This message came in the midst of me feeling insecure about whether the words I was writing for the conference would be "right," and whether or not "I" would reach the hearts of these women. God showed me through my friend's testimony that He used the words I wrote in Finding Joy in just the right way, and at just the right time. And I was certain He was saying to me, See, Karen, it isn't about you. It's about Me. I will give you the words to say and I will work out the timing in the lives of each of the women who listens to you at that conference. Quit worrying, little one. Just trust Me.

God sent me an email today, and He delighted my heart!

Who's In Control Around Here???

Shane at Heart Reflections is beginning a blog carnival called What's on Your Mind '09?. It is designed to challenge writers and encourage conversation, as we will be discussing various topics from week to week. And the question for today has really had me thinking.

How much of your life is in control by God and how much are you in control?

Now, there's the easy Christian answer - God is in control of everything and He will work out all the details perfectly.

God scores 100% control.

Then there's the I'm-a-selfish-control-freak answer - God can do what He will do. He can set things up to work out perfectly. But I have the freedom to choose what I will do, and He can't make me do a single thing.

Aha! Karen scores 100% control.

Anyone else see a problem with this equation?
God's 100% + Karen's 100% = Conflict 100%

One hundred percent conflict. That's really how it could be.
*God can open doors, but I can refuse to go through them.
*He can close doors, but I can spend all my time and energy trying to figure out how to open them myself.
*God's Spirit can prompt me to do and say things, but I can ignore these tugs on my heart and go about my (selfish) merry way.
*God can speak to me through His Word and clearly show me how I am to live but, again, I have the freedom and ability to walk in the opposite direction.

How do I know this equation so well?

Because I have lived it.

And in the living, I have also learned. I have learned God does know what He's doing, and His ways are best. Always.
Through exercising my own will contrary to God's, I have discovered what it means to live without peace.
God has used this state of 100% conflict to teach me about His patience and graciousness and unconditional love - as He has repeatedly demonstrated lessons for me, picked me up when I have fallen, and welcomed me back into His control no matter how far I've wandered.
But the best thing I have learned is how God and I can both be in control - without the conflict. I know His way is always best so I choose to submit my 100% to His. That is, I take the control I have and ask God how He wants me to exercise it. The submitting is rarely easy - I mean, I want what I want! - but it always results in peace, and it is always the best choice. Always.

So the answer to the question, Who's in control around here? That would be God. By design and by choice.

If you'd like to read others' thoughts on this control issue, pay Shane a visit!
**********************************************************************
Oh.my.word. It took me sooooo long to write this post, as God gave me opportunity upon opportunity to submit to His control. Some would simply call it a very long series of interruptions, but I have the keen sense God was speaking to my heart and asking me to say "No" to myself and "Yes" to others.
At any rate, I'm glad I got an early start on this post so I had the chance to complete it, and I pray God will bless you through the thoughts I've shared.

What's On Your Mind?

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
Lamentations 3:22-23

It's a New Year!

I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and a fun time ringing in 2009.
I fully enjoyed spending time with my family Christmas day. Got to see my sister and her family who were visiting from North Carolina, as well as my little brother (He's almost 30 but I still like calling him "little brother." *grin*) who was in from Boston.
New Year's Eve was fun, too. We hung out with my siblings again, and their kids. Watched the ball drop and were on our way home about 12:05. Party animals, we are! LOL
And now I'm back to blogging. I've enjoyed the holidays, but I've missed you!
Nonetheless, I need to keep this brief, as I'm a little sleepy from being up so late last night. ha!
I have hung my 2009 Dream Calendar and want to encourage you once again to order one for yourself if you are still in need of a 2009 calendar. The kids are precious, and the cause is so worth it!
I'm also excited to tell those of you who live in West Michigan that I'll be speaking in Holland on February 28 at Central Wesleyan Church. Their Kaleidoscope Women's Conference is that Saturday and I will be doing two Focus Groups in the morning. Click on the button in my sidebar for more information and to register for the conference. I would love to see you there!
I need to sign off now. But please come back Monday. I recorded a devotion for you and will be posting it Monday.

Love to you,