Opportunity Knocks

Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.
Colossians 4:5-6

For several years I have been a fan of Colossians 4:5-6, trying to live it out. But sometimes I get lazy. Do you?
Then God puts opportunities in front of me and reminds me I need to make the most of them. I love His patience with me, and His unending grace which allows me repeated chances to "get it." Because last week during VBS He gave me several opportunities to be His instrument.
On one occasion I was comforting a little girl who had gotten hit with a ball. It was a little ball and I knew she was over-reacting - that the ball could not have hurt her as much as her tears and whimpering would indicate. But the amount of actual pain she was experiencing didn't seem important at the moment. She just needed to be comforted.
So I put my arm around her and let her tell me about the nasty ball. I prayed for her and asked God to help her feel better. And then it was as if He said to me, Karen, make the most of this opportunity. Don't stop now.
So I looked at this little girl and I told her that there will be other times in her life when she will hurt again - sometimes physically, and sometimes the pain will be in her heart. And I told her in those times God was going to be with her, and she could trust Him to comfort her and help her through the pain.
She looked at me and said she knew that was true. I am praying even as I type these words that this Truth which was planted in Zoe's heart last week will take root and grow throughout her precious life.

God gave me several opportunities like this one with Zoe during VBS. I share them with you, not because I want to make myself sound super-spiritual and righteous, but because I want to encourage you to keep your eyes open for similar opportunities. Watch for Him to give you occasions to share your faith. Pay attention for those teachable moments when you can encourage a child to trust God in their present and with their future. Look for the openings He gives to speak words of Truth and Hope.

Because, as sure as our God lives, opportunity knocks!

VBS Reflections

This Week's WORD

"Do not be afraid," Samuel replied. "You have done all this evil; yet do not turn away from the LORD, but serve the LORD with all your heart."..."Be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you."
1 Samuel 12:20&24

Israel has turned away from God time and again. The people have cried out to Him for mercy and He has saved them.
Now, in 1 Samuel, Israel is demanding a king. The people of Israel want to have a king so they can be just like all the surrounding people. And even though God has warned them about what life will be like under this king, even though Israel is rejecting Him as their king, they want what they want.

The thing that strikes me about this week's WORD is the hope in Samuel's statement. Even though the Israelite's had done evil in the eyes of the LORD, they could still turn back to God and serve Him. They still had a chance to be faithful to Him. He would still receive them, if they would come!
And so it is with us, my friends.
Have you ever turned your back on God? Have you ever felt as though you've done something so horrible that you are now disqualified from the love and mercy of God? Do you think He won't want to take you back???

The LORD your God is madly in love with you and He wants nothing more than for you to be in a faithful relationship with Him.
Do not be afraid. Serve Him faithfully. And remember what great things He has done for you.

May His grace carry you today. See you back here Monday!

Do You Want to Play a Game?

Did you try the hand-tapping game?
I hope you had fun with it!

Here's another one for you, which doesn't require as much physical coordination. Maybe a little more mental work, though. But you don't have to clear the table first.
This game is simply a round of asking questions. The first person asks a question of the person to their right. That person is not allowed to give an answer - they must turn to the next person and ask another question. And no question may be asked twice.
According to the "offical" rules, you aren't allowed to laugh in this game or you're out. But we eliminated that rule because all but two of us were "out" after the first question. The way we played, you get out if you repeat a question, answer a question, or can't think of a question in a reasonable amount of time. (Like five seconds.)
We had fun with our questions. Sometimes we answered questions by asking questions. For example, Elizabeth looked at my New Deal chart hanging on the wall and asked me, "Why do you give us check marks when we leave things out?" And I asked her, "Do you WANT to live in a messy house?"
Of course, there were the questions aimed at making people laugh, "Do you mind if I fart?"
And questions meant to tease one another. "Do you still like Caroline?"
But the thing I most enjoyed was the fact that we were sitting together, enjoying one another, and truly having a good time.

Give it a try tonight!

Games People Play

I am in Australia this week! Riding on the Boomerang Express, where it all comes back to Jesus.

OK, I'm not really in Australia. It's VBS week at church, and we're visiting the Outback in our imaginations.
My daughter and I (That's us in the picture above - with one of our wall decorations.) are working together with a precious group of third and fourth grade girls, and we're having a blast!

Since we're having such a good time, I thought it would be a good idea to share some fun with you. Fun in the form of a couple games my family played recently as we sat around the table after dinner. I'll tell you about one today, and the other tomorrow.

For the first game, you need to clear the table before you can play. When you're ready, have everyone rest their right hand on the table - extended toward the person on their right side. Then have them rest their left hand on the table - extended toward the person on their left. If you've done it correctly, every one's right arm will be crossed by the left arm of the person on their right.
Now, pick someone to begin the game by tapping one of their hands on the table. The hand next in line clock-wise taps next, followed by the next and the next. Until, someone taps their hand twice. Then the direction changes. And any time a person taps twice (Which anyone can do anytime they feel the urge!), the direction changes again.
If a hand misses a turn, taps out of turn, or takes too long to tap, that hand is out. Not the whole person, mind you, just that hand!
Play continues until only one hand remains.

This was a game learned at summer camp a few weeks ago, and we had tons of fun playing it at home. Lots of laughter! And the thing I enjoyed the most? My kids were playing together and no one was saying a mean thing to anyone else.
Ahhhh, music to this mom's ears!

Come back tomorrow for another game learned at camp!

I Forgive You

When I was in the ninth grade, there were two girls I considered to be my best friends. One weekend in December one of them spent the night at the other's house and they got into a conversation about me. They started discussing all the things I had ever done that bothered them, and decided to record it in a letter for me - along with the fact that they no longer wanted to call me "friend." It took them nine pages to list all their grievances, but they got 'em all in.
They presented the letter to me just after lunch, a few days before Christmas vacation. (I had already bought their Christmas presents. Think I threw them away that year.) Yeah, just after lunch - right before fourth hour, a class the three of us had together. I cried real hard in class.
Have you ever had your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on in front of 20-some other kids? That's kind of how I felt that day. I had no idea a fourteen year old girl could hurt that much.

Oh, I was hurting.

During the rest of my high school years, those two girls and I were civil toward one another, but I never forgot the pain.

Then I came to a day - years and years later - when God led me to forgive those girls for the way they hurt me.
We were kids when it happened.
As an adult I understood their behavior was childish. Though it tore me apart at the time, as an adult I could see it wasn't a pain worth holding in my heart. (Really, is ANY pain worth holding???)
And so I forgave them. It was over. I wasn't going to hold them responsible for my heart ache any longer.
I forgave them, and Jesus healed my heart.

Fast forward to this past Saturday night, and my 20-year high school class reunion. At first I saw her across the room, and a few minutes later she was walking right up to me. With a great big smile on her face.
We hugged and said, "Hello," and then Julie told me she needed to talk to me. She said for years she has felt terrible about that letter, and when she heard I was going to be at the reunion she knew she needed to apologize for it. I hugged Julie again and told her that I had already forgiven her. Told her God had led me through it years ago.
But it was so good to be able to say, I forgive you, right to her - face-to-face and in person. It feels complete. Both of us know now. And I like it this way.

Went to a reunion, wound up at a reconciliation.

God is good, friends. God is good!

When Your Heart Doesn't Feel What Your Heads Knows

This Week's WORD

And he could bear Israel's misery no longer.
Judges 10:16b

I am half way through the book of Judges right now and have just about had it with the Israelites. After all God did for them in leading them out of Egypt, I do not understand how these people can keep turning away from Him and worshipping other gods. It makes me crazy!
Every time God gets angry and sells them into the hands of their enemies I think, Well, good! They deserve it!
But then they cry out to God and He raises up a judge to save them.
Until they do evil in His sight one more time.
And the cycle continues.
But when I was reading chapter ten, I found a short statement at the end of verse 16 that I simply couldn't get past.

And he could bear Israel's misery no longer.

Really? After all they had done - after all HE had done???
The Israelites deserved every ounce of agony they were facing!
Yet God came to a point where He could bear their misery no longer.

What amount of love God has for His children!!
How amazing is His grace??!!

I hope you can take a minute to dwell with that thought today. May you delight in His love for you.
See you back here Monday!

Pre-reunion Reunion

Well, that was fun!
Tuesday morning there was a message on my Facebook page, inviting me to an impromptu get-together of some high school friends. I saw friends I hadn't seen in 20 years.
I mentioned a couple of months ago about a time when I was seventeen years old and I was out with friends without calling my mom. She was really upset because she didn't know where I was. And God reminded me of that moment - just in time for me to extend grace to Joshua for not calling me when he was at a friend's house. Remember that post?
Well, the friends I was with that night - Mike and Stacy - are with me in the back row of this picture. (And I didn't call my mom to tell her where I was Tuesday, either. But she doesn't worry about my whereabouts anymore. *grin*)
I had a very enjoyable evening seeing old friends Tuesday. Especially Mike - he lives in California now and I did not expect to see him there! And am now sooooo looking forward to my 20th high school class reunion which is coming up Saturday.
Whew! I am not the same person I was 20 years ago. Praying my classmates will see Jesus in me on Saturday!

A Balancing Act

My trainer had me try something new. With my feet on the Bosu (essentially a half-ball on a platform) and my arms spread a bit wider than usual, he had me doing push-ups. I asked him what the benefit was for having my feet on the Bosu and learned that it works my balance more. Gary said that eventually he'll turn the Bosu over (So it's on the ball side rather than the platform, and is more wobbly.) and I'll have my hands on balls instead of the floor. That will really challenge my balance.
I kind of groaned when he gave me that news.
And I think he might have laughed.
Honestly, though, for as much as I complain about the torture exercises my trainer puts me through, I am kind of looking forward to this next challenge. I will enjoy saying I conquered it.

At home I have a very different balance exercise, and sometimes it feels a whole lot harder than propping my feet up on the Bosu while my hands are gripping balls.

I am trying so hard to balance being strict and gracious.

We have rules. We have them for good reasons, and my kids need to obey them. And I, as the Mom, am the one on whom the job of enforcing falls. So I ask the kids how long they have been playing on the computer and when their time is up, I tell them to turn it off. They delay and they groan and sometimes they grumble, but I hold them to their limit.
And, oh, do I feel like a meanie. But there are times when rules must be followed.

The kids have jobs. They are a part of this family and therefore need to contribute to the things that get done around here. But sometimes they're outside playing and they're having so much fun. As I listen to the yelling and laughing, and look at the table which needs to be set for dinner, I realize it would be better for me to go ahead and set the table so they can enjoy playing.
And I feel so nice. Yes, the kids have jobs. But there are times when those jobs can be overlooked.

And thus I have a challenge: Learning how to balance 1)holding my kids to the rules we have established as a family, with 2)extending grace and being lenient appropriately. The challenge is increased by the reactions my children give - the complaining on one end of the spectrum and hugs on the other end totally throw off my balance. In one moment I feel like I have parenting figured out and under control. And in another, I get the feeling my kids will never talk to me again.

And while I think I will probably manage balancing push-ups on a Bosu and balls when the time comes, some days I seriously doubt I'll make it through this balancing act I call motherhood.
So, so very thankful for the grace of God. Without Him, I would have no hope!
May you hold tightly to Jesus as you find your balance today.

Remedial Sunday School

It was over fifteen years ago when my husband and I started attending the church where we are now members. And right away we joined the Young Marrieds Sunday school class. Loved that group of people! We learned so much about how to be married, as we shared life and experiences with these twenty-somethings.

Just a couple of years later, it was time for us to move on to the Parents Encouraging Parents class. (a.k.a. PEP! Yeah, cuz we needed extra pep with a new-born in the house!) Now we were with adults in their 20s, 30s, and 40s - sharing life as parents. We studied together and prayed together. Laughed and cried together. It was another great group of people, and I was so thankful for the growth and encouragement we experienced.
And when some of them moved on to TAG, that is - Teens Are Great - I thought about the day when it would be time for me to move on again.

But something odd happened.

About five years ago God put a desire in my heart to stop attending adult Sunday school so I could be a teacher for elementary Sunday school. OK, honestly, I argued with Him about the change for a while - because I really loved my friends. But when I made the switch, the joy which filled my heart assured me I was in the right place.
So for the past several years I have been in second and third grade Sunday school, surrounded by seven, eight, and nine year-olds. It's a big change from my days with the adults.

But do you know what I have discovered?

God can speak to me just as clearly through the lessons for the kids as He did through the ones in the classes for adults.
This past weekend as I was preparing for Sunday morning, Matthew wasn't listening to me well. His ADHD was shining through and I was getting frustrated.
Just as I was about to lose it with him I read the key point for the current lesson: LOOK FOR WHAT JESUS SEES. I was getting ready to lead my girls in an exercise about seeing people through Jesus' eyes; about loving those who are sometimes difficult to love.

Aha! Standing right before me was a clear application for the lesson.

I smiled as I thanked God for painting a very clear picture for me. And I chuckled to myself as I considered the many, many times He has spoken to me before through these lessons "for the kids."

And it was then I realized I just may be in remedial Sunday school. I have been in second and third grade for the past five years!
I don't have any sense that I'll be "graduating" any time soon.
And I'm OK with that.
I love being a part of the lives of these precious girls. Love sharing my faith with them, and watching them grow in theirs. And if God knows that some of my best learning comes through elementary school lessons, well, who am I to question that???

How about you? Does God have you on the remedial or advanced track? *grin*

God is in the Details

This Week's WORD

As for the inhabitants of the mountain regions from Lebanon to Misrephoth Maim, that is, all the Sidonians, I myself will drive them out before the Israelites.
Joshua 13:6

I have been reading this week about the various exploits on which Joshua led the Israelites. Though their enemies were often larger and stronger than they, God instructed them to be strong and courageous. He promised to fight for them - to deliver the enemy into their hands. And when the Israelites did as they were commanded, they always experienced victory. The enemy was defeated. They marched into the cities and totally destroyed everything. Just as the LORD commanded.
For twelve chapters I had been reading about the action of the Israelites under God's command and now in 13:6, suddenly it was God Himself who was going to drive out the enemy.

God, Himself.

And I had to pause and wonder, why? Why was God going to do it Himself this time? Why weren't the Israelites going into battle? Why?
Was it the mountains? Were they too dangerous for battle?
Was it because Joshua was now "old and well advanced in years"? (13:1) Perhaps he didn't have what it takes to lead the Israelites into battle anymore?

I really don't know the answer to the why.
But in my ponderings and questioning I believe God led me to this explanation: Sometimes God calls us to be strong and courageous, to trust in Him as we go forth with Him to face our enemies.
And sometimes - when God knows it is the best thing - He Himself will remove our enemy from before us. He will not call on us to act, simply to trust and believe that He can do it.

Whether God is calling you into action or He Himself is driving your enemies out before you, I pray this day finds you fully trusting in the LORD your God. May His peace rest upon you.

Healing for the Soul

So, I told you I was going to be babysitting one day this week, and that I thought maybe I had found an opportunity to have my soul healed by being with children, right?
I thought watching Matthew with the younger children would bring me joy. I imagined God would lift my spirits as I heard childish laughter. And those things happened.
But I wasn't expecting God to go farther than that.

Note to self: Remember that God is able to do far more than you could ask or imagine. Get into the habit of expecting Him to do greater things.

I was watching my friend's children - a toddler and an infant - and when the infant woke from her nap I needed to give her a bottle. I sat with her on the couch and began feeding her. Just then her big brother started fussing, so I hoisted him up to sit next to me and tried talking with him to get him to calm down.
But that little guy didn't want my words. He had his sights on one thing, only.

His sister's bottle.

I tried giving him his cup of water. No deal.
I rubbed his back and sang to him. He didn't like that.
I reminded him that he wasn't a baby anymore - that he got to drink from a cup like a big kid - and wasn't that cool???!!! If he was able to form the words, I think he would have responded with something like, Yeah, whatever, Mrs. Hossink. Just give me the bottle!
My little friend sat on the couch next to me and just cried and cried while he pointed at his baby sister's bottle. I wished so much there was something I could do to calm him and help him understand. Wished I could figure out a way to get his focus off the baby bottle. And in that moment I realized God was drawing a picture right before my eyes.

How many times have I had my eyes fixed on someone else's something, wanting it so desperately that I was unable to recognize the very good thing of my own, which was sitting right next to me?
How often have I refused to receive God's comfort because I simply didn't think anything else could satisfy me except for that thing I couldn't have?
And could it be that I have sometimes wanted things that just were not appropriate for me? That maybe God didn't give me the thing I wanted so dearly, because He knew better than me?

Sitting on the couch, looking at my frustrated toddler friend - knowing his anger was unnecessary - I was reminded once again that God knows more than me. And I can trust Him.
Seems to me I have two choices. I can focus on the thing I want, crying and fussing because I don't have it. OR I can listen to my Father's voice as He assures me He knows what's best, and I can receive His comfort while my heart learns to trust.

Hmmmm. Thought I was just babysitting. Didn't realize God was going to use a crying toddler to bring healing to my soul!

Opportunity Found

If you didn't read yesterday's post, you can click here to catch up.

So there I was, feeling overwhelmed and rather distraught. I didn't see what God was trying to say to me with the statement, The soul is healed by being with children. But I wanted to understand, and I asked Him to help me.

Friends, when we ask for God's help - He is faithful to deliver!

I received a message from my blogging/FaceBook buddy, Lisa Shaw, and she reminded me that God would be my strength in the midst of the wait. Oh! I needed that encouragement.
Yes, an opportunity found to trust His strength.

Then I was sitting at my computer trying to get some writing done when two of my children approached me at separate times, with much to say. At first I wanted them to hurry up and finish their stories so I could get back to writing. (Just being honest!)
But then it was as if God said to me, Now, Karen, look at them. Your children love you and they just want to tell you about this thing that has them so excited. Remember when you were a child and you got excited about silly things? Let their joy flow into you. Stop taking life so seriously for a moment, and treasure your child's joy.
An opportunity found to enjoy a smile with my children.

Over the course of the next several hours I was asked to babysit, and to have a few of my sons' friends over in the following days so their moms could get some things done. While my initial reaction was one of, More kids? Really??? God quickly reminded me He would be my strength, and I remembered that my children would love having these other children around.
To be honest, often times I find it easier when there are more kids around, for the simple fact that my children enjoy it. They play new games together. Adventures in fishing and backyard hunting ensue. Matthew, especially, loves having the younger ones around because he is no longer the youngest, and I enjoy watching him shine. Truly, healing can come to my soul when I hear the laughter and see the camaraderie of children playing together.
Oh. Could it be? An opportunity found for my soul to be healed by being with children?

Friends, only God could bring me to that conclusion!

If you're feeling like you are in the middle of a pile of lost opportunities today, I pray God will open your eyes to the opportunities waiting to be found!
And please come back tomorrow. God surprised me with yet another lesson in this saga, and I'll post it Thursday morning.

Opportunity Lost

***Edited to add***
I have become aware that there are a number of people who have concerns with the novel, The Shack. I am citing it in this post to give credit for the quote I read - not because I hold this novel in the same esteem as the Word of God. Don't worry!
*******************
I finally had a break in my list of things To Do and told my children I was going into my room to read for a while.
On the surface I was trying to be a good model for them - you know reading a book, rather than spending time in front of the computer or some other electronic device. But the truth is, I needed a reprieve. Just needed to steal away from the noise for a few minutes to lower my blood pressure and anxiety level. And if I happened to set a good example for reading in the process, well, happy day.
So I slipped into my bedroom and flopped down on my bed with a copy of The Shack. And as I opened it up to chapter three, this is the quote I found waiting for me:

The soul is healed by being with children.
- Fyodor Dostoevsky

I did a double-take, and then nearly started to cry.
I thought, God, is this some kind of a joke??? For weeks I have had the ache in my soul to get away and be alone with YOU, without interruption, without being needed by another human being. Being with YOU is the healing I need.
But here is this guy saying it is being with children that heals the soul! O, LORD, I love my children. I would die for them. You know it! Why do I feel such a need to hide from them right now?

Have you been there? Need to get away, but the opportunities seem to be getting away faster than you can catch them?

* You may remember my disappointment a few weeks ago of not getting the retreat I had hoped for.
Opportunity lost.
* For the past four summers I have gone away for a couple of days to a Women of Faith conference. But this year, finances said NO.
Opportunity lost.
* My mother-in-law is taking the kids for a few days at the end of the month, and I thought maybe that could be my opportunity to get away. But my husband and I really need to spend time "alone" together and we are going to visit a bed and breakfast while the kids are with Grandma. I hate to admit that I struggled with wanting to not give up what I was considering another opportunity to be alone.
But to some extent that, too, seemed like another opportunity lost.
(Soooo hoping you won't misread my love and respect for my husband by that last statement.)
* Kathy Troccoli is going to be in concert in Michigan in August and I thought perhaps I could take a day to myself and finish it up at the concert. Granted, August feels like it's a long way off, but I would have something for which to look forward. However, when I checked the calendar I saw that Brian and I already committed to attending a wedding that day.
Opportunity lost, again. *heavy sigh*

So there I sat - fresh out of hope that I am ever going to have an opportunity to get away by myself. Staring at the words, The soul is healed by being with children. Wondering what on earth God was trying to say to my very weary, someone-get-me-out-of-here, I'm-on-the-verge-of-tears soul.

Not that I want to leave you on a low note, but I sat with these feelings for a while, so why shouldn't you??? LOL
I'm bad.
Come back tomorrow and I'll let you in on what I think God was trying to say.

Do Not Be Afraid

When you go to war against your enemies and see horses and chariots and an army greater than yours, do not be afraid of them, because the LORD your God, who brought you up out of Egypt, will be with you. When you are about to go into battle, the priest shall come forward and address the army. He shall say: "Hear, O Israel, today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory."
Deuteronomy 20:1-4

This Week's WORD

Remember that you were slaves in Egypt and the LORD your God redeemed you from there. That is why I command you to do this...Remember that you were slaves in Egypt. That is why I command you to do this.
Deuteronomy 24:18 & 22

These statements both come at the end of Moses' repeated commands to look after the welfare of the alien, the fatherless, and the widow. Maybe it was the explicit instructions, it could have been the repetition, but whatever the reason - I just couldn't get past these verses without giving them more thought.
Perhaps the Israelites looked down upon the alien, the fatherless and the widow. Maybe they thought those unfortunate individuals should simply buck up and figure out a way to take care of themselves. I suppose the Israelites may have considered it enough to have to meet their own needs, so why bother with anyone else?

But Moses told them, "Remember that you were slaves in Egypt."

My paraphrase/amplification: Look, brothers, I remember just as well as you how much you cried and complained when you were in Egypt. "This work is too hard. These Egyptians are mean to us! We can't handle it any longer. Somebody, help us!"
You were alone in the land and without hope.
Does that sound like anyone you know today?
But the LORD your God, He heard your cry. He had mercy on you and with His mighty arm and great acts of judgement. He led you out of that land of slavery. He had mercy on you and cared for you. Do you remember?
Do you???
My brothers, remember from where it is you have come. Remember the mercy and grace which was so freely given to you. Remember!
And with that memory, take care of these who are alone in this land and without hope.

So today I am asking God to help me remember from where it is I have come. I am asking Him to help me remember the mercy and grace He has so generously bestowed upon me. And I am asking Him to use that memory to help me be the best mom I can be today. Will you join me?

May the joy of the LORD fill your soul this weekend. Hope you enjoy some great fireworks!
See you back here Monday!

A Nagging Need for Grace

Matthew had an appointment to which I needed to take him, and ten minutes before it was time to leave I told him we would be going soon.
About five minutes later he was still shoe-less, and I told him to get ready to go.
When I was ready to walk out the door he was still shoe-less, so I told him to grab his shoes and get into the van.
Once in the van I told Matthew to get buckled and then put his shoes on.
When we arrived at his appointment I said, "Here we are!" and got out of the van.
Matthew didn't open his door.
I looked in and saw him scrambling to get his shoes on.
And Matthew looked at me with that silly little grin he wears so often. The one that says, Oh, yeah. You told me to do this already, didn't you? A few times. Oops.
This is life with my little ADHD guy. I have stopped counting how many times it takes me asking him to do something until it is finally accomplished. Many, many times we have had conversations about his need to do the thing I ask right away. We even have a phrase to help - Obediently immediately.
I have explained to him that since he has a hard time paying attention, he needs to respond obediently right away, or else he will forget to do the thing he is supposed to do. We have talked about the fact that he has to work harder to pay attention and follow through on the tasks required of him, but that he can do it.

I know he can.

I've seen him do it.

And it drives me crazy when he doesn't.

But as I stood outside the van looking at that silly grin - contemplating another lecture on responding obediently immediately - for a moment I allowed fear for Matthew's future to whisper despairing thoughts into my ear. I wondered how he is going to make it as an adult in a world where you need to pay attention and follow through on jobs. I feared for his success in school and the work-place. I couldn't imagine how I am going to be able to get him through these challenges.

And that's when it hit me.
It isn't up to me to get him through these challenges. Nagging and fine sounding arguments are not going to motivate my son to do what he needs to do. God has created Matthew for a purpose, and HE is the One who is going to get him through.

So I prayed.

While my little guy scrambled to fasten his sandals, I prayed that God would create in him the desire to work through his challenges. I asked God to motivate him. I asked Him to work out in Matthew the purpose for which my son was created.
I asked God to grow my patience level.
*Oh, how I need that!*

And as I stood there waiting I remembered, the grace of God will take Matthew and I much farther than nagging ever could!

For what do you need to trust in His grace today?

Gone Fishing

I know I have told you about Joshua's love for bugs, but have I ever told you he's quite a fisherman, too?
Well, he is.
And he needed me to capture him on film, catching a fish. For Boy Scouts.
So the other day we went over to a pond near our house which Joshua loves to frequent with his fishing pole, and he was going to show me how it's done. Yep, he was sure that within five minutes he would have caught a nice bass and I could snap the picture he needed to prove that he can fish.
The first item of business was to catch a bluegill to use for bait to catch the bass. So he put a worm on the hook and cast his line.
Nothing.
(It had only been about a minute, but that was apparently more time than Joshua thought it ought to take to catch his bait.)
So he moved around the corner and cast again and, Whamo! just like that he had his bluegill.

I won't describe how Joshua proceeded to turn that little bluegill into bait, but I will admit to watching the whole process. (YUCK!!!) Although I was grossed out by what I saw, I must admit I was impressed by his skill and apparent knowledge of the ways of fishing.

Then it was time to pursue the Bass.

But for some reason, that Bass wasn't biting. We had moved to the appropriate Bass-catching spot of the pond. This was right where he had caught them repeatedly every other time he'd gone fishing. Joshua just couldn't understand what was the problem. Several times he mumbled about how he always catches them so quickly every other time he comes fishing, and now that I was there to take a picture he just couldn't get one.
Finally he said, "Mom, can you just go stand over there please?" And he pointed to the other dock.
I chuckled to myself as I walked a distance away, I know this won't be the last time he wants me to step aside. Not only is he needing me less, but apparently I also scare the fish away. *grin*
So I stood on the other dock, and I continued to pray - as I had been since we arrived - that God would put a nice fish on the end of Joshua's line. (Remember, he may not NEED me, but I can still pray!)
And he began to get some nibbles.
But whenever he pulled up on the line, the fish would let go and the hook remained empty.
Until finally, after I am certain Joshua's patience had been tested to its fullest for the day, he reeled in this guy!
Joshua promptly returned Mr. Fish to the water after our photo shoot, and we were on our way home. I - with the proof that Joshua can fish, and Joshua - with a certain spring in his step that I am certain came from his pride in showing Mom that he knows how to catch a Bass.

It's moments like these that get me through the struggles. So thankful that God gives me glimpses into the boy-ish joys of fishing which make my son so happy.

Are You Serious???

Do you really mean to tell me that I contributed more to society in the first eight months after I graduated from college (When I was selling business telephone and voice-mail systems.) than I have since I decided to "quit working" eleven years ago, so I could stay home and raise my children???

Just got my annual statement from Social Security, and that's what Uncle Sam seems to think.

So glad my identity is in Christ and I find my true worth in HIM!

Peace for Moms

This Week's WORD

But because of you the LORD was angry with me and would not listen to me. "That is enough," the LORD said. "Do not speak to me anymore about this matter."
Deuteronomy 3:26

OK, a little background - Moses is the one speaking in the verse above. And the situation to which he is referring is this: When the Israelites were in the Desert of Zin there was no water for them to drink and they grumbled against Moses. God told Moses to speak to a certain rock and promised He would bring water from it for the people. But, instead of doing as God commanded him, Moses struck the rock with his staff and then water flowed from it. Then God said to Moses and Aaron, "Because you did not trust in me enough to honor me as holy in the sight of the Israelites, you will not bring this community into the land I give them." (Numbers 20:12)
So, Moses disobeyed God, and the consequence for his actions was that he would not lead the Israelites into the promised land.

Even so, Moses asked God to let him go over and see that fine land. (Deut. 3:25) Seems Moses didn't like that there was a consequence for his disobedience. In fact, he didn't even take responsibility for his actions. Notice in the verse above how he blamed the Israelites for God's anger? Moses even tried to warm God up to the idea of letting him enter the land by telling God how great He is. (Deut. 3:24) But God wasn't buying it. He said He'd had enough and didn't want to talk about it anymore.

So why did I choose this verse to be highlighted in This Week's WORD???

Because it shows me that God TOTALLY understands what it's like to be a mother!!!

Have a great weekend. I'll see you back here Monday!

Job Security

OK, so I realized my babies have now become big kids, but I know my job as Mom is not yet over.
They may not need me to help them in the swimming pool.
My presence at the movie theater may not be wanted anymore.
Hugs and kisses in public are a thing of the past.
I don't even need to prepare lunch anymore.
But my job is not over.

I read a father's statement recently that convinced me: I am still needed.

This father was talking about a family meeting he had with his adult and nearly-adult children, in which he was asking for and seriously considering their input. He finished by saying, "It was one of those moments when you realize your children have become what you have hoped and prayed for."

And that was one of those moments when I realized - although my children may not need me to do as much for them anymore, although they may be growing in independence and wishing to do for themselves, their need for me remains. And the greatest thing I can do for them now is to pray.
Oh, I know I need to continue to lead and instruct, but they are getting to the ages where they think I don't understand them. They think they know more than I. (Remember when you were there as a kid? I do!!!)

And, honestly, most of the time I feel woefully inadequate to raise these children to be the well-adjusted, servant-hearted, God-fearing individuals I hope for.

Even so, while I will continue to do my best to lead and instruct, I know God holds their hearts and He is the One ultimately responsible for who they are. So I will continue do what I can in the physical realm, but I am only going to trust in what I can do in the spiritual realm. I know there is value to training, but nothing compares to the power of God unleashed through prayer.

They may not need me to do very much, but I am convinced it is crucial for me to pray for my children.

And I trust that one day I will look at my children and realize they have become what I have spent years hoping and praying for. In spite of my best efforts to lead and instruct!

Swim Day with Big Kids

Yesterday was our first "Swim Day" of the summer.
Every summer the Women's Ministry Director from my church welcomes moms and kids to her house on certain Tuesdays for a swim day. My children and I have been enjoying these events for some nine or ten years now. And they were happy to begin again this week.
When we arrived, I barely had a chance to say, "Here we are!" before the kids were off and jumping into the pool. (We had put sun screen on at home. No need to waste pool time, you know!)

So I sat down in a chair and began visiting with another mom.
Every few minutes I looked down at the deep end of the pool and counted heads. Yep. My charges were all present and accounted for.
Jumping off the diving board onto a big raft.
Pushing each other off the raft.
Splashing and kicking, laughing and yelling.
They were having a great time, and it was a joy for me to see them having so much fun. But there, smack in the middle of the joy, I had a realization.

My children were not looking for me.

Not once since we had arrived had I heard them call out, "Mom?"
They hadn't asked me to blow up floaties for their arms, and they didn't need me to be in the pool so they could jump to me.
I remembered earlier summers when we were at the pool and I looked at other moms sitting around the edge, wondering when I was going to be able to join in the conversation.
I remembered the first time I convinced Matthew that it was safe to jump into the pool - that I would catch him in my arms. And how, once he had the hang of it, he didn't want to stop!
I remembered teaching Joshua how to float on his back, and now I looked at him jumping off the diving board like a pro.

And I realized, my children are really growing up.

The only reason they still "need" me for swim days is because Mrs. Bytwerk's house isn't within walking distance.

In the midst of the realization, I smiled to myself. My little babies are big kids now. God has brought us through some really rough times, and has given me much joy. I know we have more storms to weather - and sometimes it scares me to anticipate what they'll be like - but I know God will still be with me.
He will still be faithful.
And there are still joys for me to experience.
I believe it.

So I went through an entire swim day without answering the call, "Mom???" And I'm OK with that.
I wasn't entirely useless.
Several of my girls from Sunday school were there, and they kept me busy. Can't count the number of times I heard them calling, "Mrs. Hossink?" I helped one girl gain confidence jumping in the pool. Helped another swim on her back. And comforted a third while her mom attended to little brother.

All in all, it was a great day at the pool!

Things Change When I Stop to Thank You

I teach Sunday school at church and my favorite song that we sing with the kids is called Every Day.
And my favorite line in my favorite song is the title for this post.

Do you know how TRUE that statement is???

When I am frustrated; feeling angry, stressed or tired; when my children are driving me up a wall and I want to run away - if I stop what I'm doing and start thanking God for, well, anything - things change!

I remember how blessed I am.

My heart turns toward contentment rather than complaining.

My focus shifts from the irritation around me to my Father who loves me.

My spirit is lifted instead of being weighed down.

Yes. Things change.

So Monday evening when we sat down to dinner without Brian (He was working late.), and the kids were noisy, and my nerves were short, and they asked what song we were going to sing (We always sing for our dinner prayer.), I breathed deeply and said, "I need to sing Every Day."
So we did.
And I started to thank God.
And things changed!

*peaceful grin*
This is me, thankful for God's amazing grace!

I Said Yes

***Edited to add***
Before anyone leaves a comment telling me what a nice mom I am, you should know this:
Sunday evening I told the kids they could not keep a baby stroller they had picked up out of a "free pile." They have a habit of bringing stuff home, breaking it, and leaving it lay around the yard. And I, for one, am tired of the junk and cleaning up messes.
I got an ear-full from my kids over that NO. Heard about how I ruin all their fun; it isn't fair that I won't let them keep the stroller; they won't break it this time; I don't understand; I'm mean; and all that stuff.
Like I said in the video, I am trying to say YES more often. But I am not about to let the kids take over and have them think they run the show.

Aaaaa, motherhood.
Sometimes you're a hero, and sometimes you're the rottenest, meanest, un-coolest person alive.
Know what I mean? *grin*

This Week's WORD

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
Hebrews 11:1

In a week of disappointment and discouragement, of tears and trials; in the midst of the noise and sometimes wondering how I'm going to come through it with my sanity intact; in the face of a pre-pubescent child whose life mission seems to be bringing me to my wits' end, I am so thankful for this faith God has given me. I am so thankful that I don't have to trust in what I see, but that I can be sure of God's faithfulness and that which I do not see with my physical eyes.

May you hear Him clearly as He speaks to your heart.

See you back here Monday!

Listening Through the Noise

God is simply amazing. Perfectly faithful, and always loving.

And He speaks, even when it's noisy.

Let me fill you in on what's been going on in my heart for the past several days.
Last week was particularly difficult for me, and I had a recurring sense that God was telling me I needed to listen to Him.
Listen.
That word just kept coming to my mind.
I thought it would be great if I could spend a couple days this week alone with God at a retreat center near my home. I was frazzled with motherhood, and very eager to hear whatever it was that God wanted to say to me. My heart was aching for this retreat!
My mother-in-law was going to come over to stay with the kids so I could really have peace of mind while I was retreating and I was sooooo looking forward to it. Then I called the retreat center Monday and discovered they were completely booked this week. No room for me.
And I cried.
I knew God was not surprised by the news, but I couldn't help wondering, Don't You want to be alone with me? Don't You have something You want to speak to my heart? Don't You love me??? Of course, I knew in my head those questions were not true, but at the moment the weariness and disappointment of my heart were over-riding all rational thought processes.
My hopes for a retreat next week were dashed when I remembered that my mother-in-law is going to be out of the state. A handful of other disappointments and frustrations were falling on me, too.
Although I knew God was still good, I just wanted to run away, change my name to something besides "Mom," be free from the bickering and arguing that my kids couldn't seem to do without, and simply rest in the quiet - where, surely, I could hear God speak.

But then friends started praying for me (Thank you!) and I got emails encouraging me to listen to Him at home, in the midst of the noise. I got a horrendous headache Monday night and couldn't control my tears, but my son gave me a wonderful hug and my daughter made a very sweet card for me - and I started to hear God telling me He loves me.
Then there was the song Tuesday morning, more words of encouragement from friends, a fun evening of exercise with my daughter, and Heaven's blog post Wednesday, and I was convinced that I could, indeed, listen to God through the noise.

Oh, I still intend to go to that retreat center. It may not be for a few more weeks, but I know I still need to have that time alone.

Yet, while I didn't understand on Monday why God would allow such disappointment, while I was wondering how this sequence of events could possibly be an expression of His love for me, while I was so desperate to just get away, He has reminded me - gently and faithfully - that His ways are perfect, that He does love me, and that I can listen through the noise.

A Love that Won't Walk Away

So thankful for friends - real-life friends and blogging friends. Thankful for the ways God speaks and gives me hope.
Tuesday morning I was listening to one of my favorite CDs while I was getting ready and this song played. I know this song well - even sing it sometimes when I'm speaking. But I heard it in a new way Tuesday, after the awful, awful night I had Monday.

Some days are easier than others - That's for sure.
It may hurt, it may bruise, it may leave you confused - Yep. Been there.
BUT
His kind of love is a love that won't walk away - I am clinging to that one!

I hope you can take a few minutes to listen. May God bring you hope as you do!

I Need Some Good News

Jesus Christ left the glory of heaven and came to earth to pay the price for my sins, so that I could be reconciled to God and enjoy eternal life.

God is still on His throne. Nothing can remove Him from it.

God's goodness and faithfulness are not dependent upon my circumstance.

Perfect is HIS title. And everything about Him is perfect - His timing, His will, His love, and His ways. Everything.

I sat with tears in my eyes after yet another disappointment Monday afternoon and simply prayed, God, I need some good news. I just need some good news now.
The statements above are the things that came to my mind.
And they are, indeed, good news.
Friends, I am in a very fragile emotional state at the moment. I'm OK writing about it, but please don't ask me to talk or I am likely to burst into tears. (I'm pathetic like that!)
But I know that God is still good.
He is still on His throne.
My salvation is secure.
God loves me, He knows what He is doing, and I can trust Him. Even though I don't understand Him right now, I can trust Him. Amen?

Wondering how many of you reading these words are going through a similar experience right now.
Let's pray.

Father in heaven, thank You. Thank You for the good news that Jesus Christ died to pay the price for our sins, so that we could be in a relationship with You and live with You for all eternity. Thank You that a day is coming when we will have no more tears, no more sorrow, no more misunderstandings or disappointments, but that all will be well because we will be with You.
Thank You, Father, that You do not change with our circumstance, but that You remain the same. Yesterday, today, tomorrow and forever. And because of that, we can cling to You with certainty. When our situation is uncertain, You are constant and we can depend upon You.
God, I need You to hold me. I need You to speak tenderly to me and remind me gently that You have my best in mind - that You're working it out.
And Lord, You know the needs of each woman praying with me now, so I am asking the same thing for her. I am asking You to speak tenderly to her, to wrap Your arms around her and let her know Your presence, Your care, Your goodness.
Thank You, Father, for Your love. I praise You for Your power and Your faithfulness. I thank You for Your grace and patience. I need You, Lord, and I am so thankful for Your presence in my life.

Perfect is HIS Title

As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the LORD?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
Psalm 18:30-32

This Week's WORD

When Moses entered the Tent of Meeting to speak with the LORD, he heard the voice speaking to him from between the two cherubim above the atonement cover on the ark of the Testimony. And he spoke with him.
Numbers 7:89

Maybe this verse stood out to me because I had just finished reading twelve identical lists of offerings which were brought to the LORD for the dedication of the tabernacle, as well as a list summarizing the twelve lists. Maybe my eyes were just happy for a change of pace.

Maybe.

No. Truly, I know this verse stood out to me this week because I was drawn to the idea of going into a room and hearing the voice of the LORD. I thought about what an amazing experience that must have been for Moses. I wished I could have that experience, too.
And then I told God I was sorry for wishing for something He has not given me. God reminded me of the wonderful ways He has spoken to me, though I have never heard His voice. Oh, that the Lord of the Universe cares enough about me that He speaks to me - through His Word, through my circumstances, even in the blowing of the wind. (That's a post for another day!)
I stand amazed. Thankful and in awe.

May your spirit be sensitive to His voice today. See you back here Monday!

Right on Cue, a re-run

I have been without a computer for the past few days. Fortunately (providentially?), last week I managed to write and schedule posts through yesterday, so my blog was able to function un-interrupted. *grin*
Now I have my computer back but I am swamped with email and don't have time to write something new. Sooooo, I am relying on my archives for today's post. I pulled this one from a couple of years ago and hope you enjoy it!

By the way, I have heard from one blogger that she's having trouble leaving comments here. Anyone else experiencing the same thing? Please email me and let me know. Thanks! karen@irritablemother.com
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I wonder if your house is anything like mine. Being the "homemaker" it seems like I'm the one who does most of the work to keep this family fed, clothed, and clean. Though the kids take their dishes to the kitchen (with occasional reminders) it seems I'm the only one who can put cereal boxes away. Somehow, no one else seems to notice milk puddles on the table or bits of cereal spilled on the floor, and therefore, no one else cares to clean it up. And why is it no one else (I'm thinking DH here) can put clean dishes away in the cupboards?
Well today is Friday and, in my house, that means laundry day. So this morning as I was folding clothes and taking them upstairs, I put the kids' clothes on their beds or dressers. Sometimes I put their clothes away for them, but I want to get in the habit of getting them in the habit of doing it. After all, that's what my mom did!
I went into my bedroom and sat the laundry basket on the floor so I could make the bed. As I have done before, this morning while I was making the bed I wondered, Why is it I'm the only one in this marriage who seems able to make the bed? I decided after I was finished and put my folded clothes away, I would set Brian's clothes on the bed for him to put away. (Reading a little sassiness into that last statement would be entirely appropriate.)
Just after I'd completed that thought, the phone rang. It was Brian. He was at Home Depot to buy carpet for recovering the steps leading up to our front porch. Just wanted to know what color I wanted before he made the purchase. We settled on gray, I thanked him for checking, hung up the phone and went back to making the bed.
As I was tucking in the sheets I considered how thoughtful it was for Brian to get my input on the carpet. I reminded myself how nice it's going to be to have those steps fixed - a job I certainly cannot do, which I'm so glad Brian is doing. Then I thought of how much work he put into making our porch look nice.
The other day I asked him to take the seat out of the van so I could bring home the boys' new dresser. Then I asked him to put the seat back in.
And every time I have a problem with my computer, or don't understand how to do something on it, I ask for his help. He always helps.
Oh yeah, and it's summer, which means I like to have more things for dinner on the grill. I don't even know how to light the grill. Brian always takes on grilling responsibilities.
All of a sudden, I found myself thanking God for this wonderful man who loves me and serves me and takes care of our family - even if he doesn't wipe spilled milk or make the bed - and I prayed for him while I put his clothes away.

This morning I was reading in the Gospel of Mark and noted Jesus' ability to know the hearts and thoughts of men. He knew when the teachers of the law were questioning His deity. (Mark 2:8) He heard the Pharisees question His disciples about the company Jesus was keeping. (Mark 2:16-17) When they were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus on the Sabbath, He knew that, too. (Mark 3:1-6) And Jesus spoke Truth into each of these situations.
I couldn't help but notice this morning when I was grumbling in my spirit as I made the bed how, right on cue, the phone rang and God spoke Truth to me as He reminded me what a wonderful servant-husband I have.

Thanks, Brian. I love you and I appreciate everything you do!

Encouragement for Burnt Out Mom and Failure Mom

In looking at the keyword activity on my stat tracker I have learned an interesting thing. Almost every single day, someone(s!) comes to Surviving Motherhood by searching the terms "failure mom" or "burnt out mom." That's a lot of hurting moms, if you ask me, so today I want to devote this blog to encouraging moms who are nearing their wits' end.
If you find yourself here as a result of an internet search for one of these terms(or a similar one), Welcome! I am so glad you're here and I do hope you find the encouragement you need today.
And if you find yourself here because you are a regular reader, Welcome to you, too! I trust God will speak to you as well. Because if we're honest, each of us moms has days when we're burnt out and feeling like a failure.

First, a word to Failure Mom:
OK, I realize this may be the first time you've met me, but will you trust me when I say, You are NOT a failure?
Mothering is hard. I know it! Believe me, I have felt like a failure many, many times.
But by the grace of God, alone, I have come to understand that I am not a failure. And you aren't either.
Yes, there are days we fall short.
We lose our tempers.
We do things wrong.
We disappoint our children.
And ourselves.
We wonder what God was thinking when He made us mothers.

But in those days I have found the grace and mercy of God to be richer and sweeter than I ever imagined possible.
My friend, God does not look upon you as a failure. He doesn't expect you to be perfect. In fact, Perfect is His Name alone. And He, being Perfect, is able to extend grace and mercy to you in the midst of your struggle.
He knows you cannot do this mothering thing - or any of life - on your own. Truthfully, He doesn't want you to do it on your own. God, Himself, will help you.
Yes, Perfect will carry you through. Just call out to Him!

Second, a word to Burnt Out Mom:
Oh, friend, I have been in your shoes, too. Let's see, today I'm guessing you might be feeling tired, frustrated, overwhelmed, irritated, alone, angry, ready to quit.
Have I missed anything???
Mothering is hard!
Yes, I know, I already said that. But it's true! And sometimes we feel like we have to give and give and give, and we simply don't know from where the next "give" is going to come. We are sucked dry, over-worked, under-appreciated, fed up, and burnt out.
And we want to quit!
Is any of this resonating with you?

Well, Burnt Out Mom, may I suggest that there is one item from the list above which is not true - no matter how much you feel like it?
Regardless of how you feel, you are never alone.
You are not alone in your struggle - all of us mothers struggle in one way or another.
And you are not alone in your striving - God is with you. Always.
I have faced days in which I have wondered how I was ever going to make it to "tomorrow," and somehow, God always brought me through. At times I have been certain I did not have the strength to deal with one more request, the patience to listen to one more complaint, or the kindness to play one more game. I have wanted to cry out, I can't do this, God. It is too much for me!
But that is when He reaches out and says, Allow Me. And He gives me the strength, the patience, the kindness - to do what I cannot do.
Burnt Out Mom, God will help you, too. Just ask Him!

And to both of you, to all of you - Failure Mom, Burnt Out Mom, Overwhelmed Mom, Frustrated Mom, Desperate Mom, Irritable Mother *grin*, or whatever other name suits you today, please accept my invitation to receive a copy of the Irritable Mother's Survival Kit. The Kit is something I wrote - a collection of ideas - about the things that help me make it through my irritable moments. It's absolutely free, and you can sign up for it on my homepage.

And now, may the grace and mercy of our faithful and perfect God carry you through this day.

Pay Backs

Last week when I was picking the boys up at school, Joshua asked if he could go to Jay's house to play. Jay's mom wasn't at school yet, but he told me he'd gotten permission the day before to have Joshua over that afternoon. Initially, I wanted to say no (That is always my first reaction. What fun am I???) but I thought again and reasoned it would do no harm to let Joshua stay at school until Jay's mom got there to confirm their plans. (I would have stayed, but I needed to take Matthew to an appointment.)
We agreed that if Joshua went to Jay's house, he would call me when he got there and we would decide what time I was to come and pick him up.
We agreed, and I felt everything was good.
But when I got home from Matthew's appointment, Joshua hadn't called. So I looked for the school directory to call Joshua myself. But I couldn't find this year's directory and last year's directory had the wrong number. And Jay's phone number wasn't listed in the phone book.

And after all this looking, Joshua still hadn't called.

To top it off, I didn't even know where Jay lived. OK, I knew what road he lived on, but the road is several miles long. Knowing the road didn't make me feel like I knew anything.
My son wasn't calling, I didn't have the right phone number, I didn't know where he was, and although I had absolutely NO rational reason to be worried about him, I felt uneasy because he hadn't called.
After I had a chance to go through my "I'm a terrible mother" routine, beating myself up for letting Joshua go to Jay's house without personally talking to Jay's mom first, Joshua called.
At first I was upset with him. I figured he had been having too much fun to remember he was supposed to call. And I am quite sure he heard my disposition in the tone of my voice. Our conversation was brief, I got Jay's address, and was on my way to pick Joshua up.

But something happened to me while I was driving to Jay's house.

God reminded me of one evening when I was seventeen years old.

I was in my high school's musical. Went to a cast party after the show one night and was having fun with my friends. Then one of my friends suggested we go out to get something to eat at Denny's. That sounded good to me, so we went.
And we were having fun!
Laughing, goofing around, being care-free teenagers. Finally we decided we ought to go home.
So we left.
And when my friend dropped me off, I was met by my worried and upset mother. She wanted to know where I had been. Why hadn't I called her when I left the cast party? What had I been doing? Didn't I know she was worried about me? She had called the house where I had been at the cast party and found out I'd left a couple hours earlier. Now my dad was out driving around looking for me because my mom was so concerned.

Why hadn't I called???

Honestly? It never crossed my mind. I was with Mike and Stacy and we were just going to Denny's. I wasn't past curfew. We were fine. We were just having fun. Calling my mom simply never crossed my mind!

But, boy did I ever feel bad at that moment in time. What I wouldn't have given for a chance to do that one over. Instead I just went to my room and hoped my mom would still talk to me the next morning.

She did.

It was in reflecting on that scenario that my anger with Joshua subsided. Maybe he was having too much fun to call me. Maybe he needs to learn more about responsibility and accountability. I know one thing for sure: I am not letting him go to a friend's house again before I have talked to the other mom!
But I remembered that I messed up as a kid, too, and being mad at him wasn't the solution to the problem.
My mom forgave me.
I learned my lesson.
I knew I needed to extend grace to Joshua, too.

And what a delight it was to see the relief on his face when he realized I wasn't as mad as I apparently sounded on the phone.

As it turned out, Joshua did try to call after all. However, there were complications and he wasn't able to get through. We talked about what to do "if that ever happens again" and I think Joshua will do better next time.
But for this time, I am thankful for the reminder of my mom's grace to me and the opportunity to pass it on in the midst of being paid back for making my mom worry. *grin*

Leviticus 26, a la Motherhood

This Week's WORD

For the life of a creature is in the blood, and I have given it to you to make atonement for yourselves on the altar; it is the blood that makes atonement for one's life.
Leviticus 17:11 (emphasis mine)

I am finishing up Leviticus this week and have been reminded how seriously God takes sin.
Regulations upon regulations.
Strict orders to follow.
Do it this way, not that way; at this time, not that time.
Be careful.
Be holy.
Sin is a problem, and God wanted it dealt with fully and sufficiently. There was a way to atone for sin, and He spelled it out clearly. Whew! Did He ever spell it out. Very dry reading sometimes!
As I read I was reminded how thankful I am for Jesus' sacrifice - for His blood which made atonement for my life. And yours.
I kept repeating that phrase to myself, It is the blood that makes atonement for one's life.
It is the blood.
It is His blood.
It is the blood of Jesus that has given me Life.
I do not need to take rams or sheep or doves to a priest to sacrifice for sin offerings and guilt offerings and peace offerings and fellowship offerings. I do not need to make sure I do it thus and so, according to the regulations and laws, lest I cause the offering to become unholy.
Jesus has made the ultimate sacrifice. He has done it once and for all. Atonement has been made.
Period.
And I am so thankful!

May the JOY of knowing that Jesus has made atonement for your life fill you up today!!!

See you back here Monday.

But Jesus Cares

If you haven't read yesterday's post, you'll probably want to. This one will make a lot more sense if you have the full story!

So, there I was at church, wearing my wig and hating it. Even though the wig was cute, I felt ugly. I knew what I looked like underneath and I was miserable.
The thing is, my sad feelings were intensified by the fact that I understood: The lack of hair really didn't matter. I knew that was true, thus the reality that I felt so bad about it made me feel even worse.
And when the worship leader prompted us to quiet down and encounter God, in my mind I found myself huddled down on my knees, weeping.
I wept for my insecurities, and I wept for my inability to "get over it."
I wept because I was so sad.

And then I noticed something by my head.

There were feet.

Someone was standing by me!

And when I looked up, I saw Who it was.

Jesus was standing there looking at me. But His eyes weren't saying, Get over it, Karen.
He reached down and rubbed the stubble on my head, and He touched my shoulder. And even though my tears were for something that really didn't matter, everything about Jesus in that moment spoke this very clear message: I care.

The concern of my heart at that moment had absolutely no eternal consequence.
But I was sad and insecure, and Jesus cared!

And with that realization - which did have eternal consequence - my tears flowed for real.
Jesus cares about my heart!
That Truth carried me for days and days, and still does whenever I remember that encounter.

Which brings us back to Joshua's request for sunless tanning lotion, and my position that a white belly just doesn't matter. My husband thought it would be OK to get the lotion for Joshua and I reluctantly agreed. But then the Spirit of God reminded me of the incident I just described here, and I realized another important Truth.

Jesus cares about Joshua's heart.

And because I am the hands of Jesus to my son, I need to reflect His care.
Because I want Joshua to see Jesus in me, I need to reflect His care.
Because I want to point Joshua to Jesus at all times, because I want Joshua to understand that he can go to God with every concern which burdens his heart, I need to reflect His care.
So I bought that tanning lotion for Joshua. And as I rubbed it on his belly and his back I prayed for my son. Prayed that he would grow in confidence of who he is in Christ. Prayed he would know the Father's love for him. Prayed he would be convinced of my love for him, too.
I truly enjoyed the opportunity to have my hands on him and pray. And because Joshua is always willing to have his back rubbed, he seemed to be enjoying the process as well.

In the end, the lotion made a very slight difference. At least Joshua didn't have a shocking white belly when he went on the field trip. But I am certain the factor of greater importance is that Joshua had his feelings validated. In ten years he likely won't care what color his tummy was when he went swimming with his fifth grade buddies.
But I pray he will remember that his parents cared about his feelings.
And I pray he will be confident of Jesus' perfect care for him.

It Really Doesn't Matter

Sunday night Joshua asked me if I would buy some sunless tanning lotion for him when I went to the store Monday. His class was going to take a field trip to a local athletic center this week - mainly to go swimming - and Joshua was feeling embarrassed by his very white belly. He has a pretty nice tan going on his arms and neck, but his tummy is almost a shocking white, and he didn't want to display it for all the other fifth graders on the field trip.

Honestly, my first reaction to Joshua's request was an immediate, No.
*I didn't want to spend the money.
*There are probably weird chemicals in the lotion.
*I doubted how much of a difference it would even make in the two days he would have to use it before the field trip.

But those excuses were really just veils for the real reason I wanted to say no.

I thought a white tummy really didn't matter.
To me, Joshua's concern and insecurity simply wasn't important. He should just get over it and not worry about whether his friends laughed, or not. I mean, c'mon, in ten years is he really going to care if he had a very white belly when he went swimming with his classmates?
The solution to the problem was quite simple to me. Get.over.it.

Why waste time and energy on something that, in the grand scheme of things, really doesn't matter? Who would do that???

Uh, well, I did once.
OK, more than once. As a kid, you know!
Oh, and there was that time I did it as an, ahem, adult.
Yeah, I spent lots of time and energy being embarrassed and concerned and insecure about something that - in the grand scheme of things - really didn't matter.
I am referring to six years ago, when I had brain surgery and had all my hair shaved off my head.
Prior to that event, I had always had long hair. Loved to braid it and curl it and style it. When there were very special occasions I got to go to the salon and have a professional up-do. My hair was a part of me.
After my surgery I felt incredibly ugly and un-feminine, with the covering of stubble that was a sorry excuse for hair.
I had a wig which I wore to church. But I hated it. Other than that, I just wore a bandanna on my head and avoided going out as much as I could.
In my head, I knew this hair issue wasn't a big deal. I knew it really didn't matter. In the face of eternity, I knew long, flowing hair held no greater value than quarter-inch stubble.
Yes. I knew it all in my head.
But in my heart I was embarrassed and insecure. I felt ugly.
And one Sunday morning found me weeping about it at the feet of Jesus.

For the rest of the story, and an explanation of how my situation relates to Joshua's, come back tomorrow.

Is Worry a Sin???

I have been thinking about worry lately.

Quite frequently, actually.

Partly because I have read some thought-provoking quotes about it.
Partly because I have seen people engaging in it.
Mostly because I have been there myself.
And all this thinking about worry has me wondering, Is worry a sin?
Mind you, I am not worrying about that question. Just wondering. *grin*

I have gone back and forth on this one a few times.
On the one hand, there are people who say when you worry you are blatantly NOT trusting God. You're saying to Him, I don't believe You are big enough or wise enough or powerful enough to handle my situation. Never mind that You created the entire universe and now hold it in the palm of Your hand. I just don't think You can handle my circumstance. And this in-your-face distrust of God is a sin, so they say.
I can see the point a person like this is making - that having such an opinion of God is de-faming His character. And I don't ever want to de-fame my God!

On the other hand, there are people who say when you worry, you are only hurting yourself. You are simmering in unbelief and are missing out on the benefits and blessings of trusting God. They remind us God CAN handle our situation, and we are just cluttering our days with ulcers by worrying about it.
Certainly a softer line is taken by this type of person. But it is eye-opening just the same. Why would I want to ruin my days by worrying about something God can manage?

Even so, I still have to wonder, Is worry a sin? Even if I am the only one hurt by it?

I considered what some people had to say about worry, but what about what God says in the Bible? (NOT saying these people had not considered God's Word! But I know it is important for us to go to His Word ourselves, not just listen to how other people interpret it.)
And I could not find a place where God called it a sin to worry. If you have seen it - please point it out to me. But I couldn't find it.
I thought it interesting that in the gospels "worry" is mentioned sixteen times. And on nine of those occasions the words "do not" come immediately before it.
Besides simply saying, Do not worry, however, God has some other words for us. You may be familiar with verses like Luke 12:25,

Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?

Or Philippians 4:6

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And how about 1 Peter 5:7?

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

As I thought about these verses and considered Jesus' response to those who came to Him with worry I became more convinced that worry is not a sin.

But I became even more convinced that worry is not His desire for us.

We do not delight His heart when we worry about our circumstances.
We do not enjoy the fullness of peace He offers when we worry about our circumstances.
We do not experience the intimacy of knowing our Father's care when we worry about our circumstances.

Oh, I am so prone to worry.
Maybe that's why God has had me thinking about it so much lately.
Because in thinking about it - in considering what happens to my heart and God's when I worry - I am compelled to throw myself at His feet and surrender every concern to Him.
I want to delight His heart as He looks at me and sees a woman confidently trusting her Maker.
I want to rest in the peace of knowing God will manage my every concern.
I want to encounter my Father and His love for me as I submit to believing that He will carry me.

God is, after all, the Creator of the universe - which He presently holds in the palm of His hand.
He can handle my situation.
And yours!
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This week Shane is inviting bloggers to share our thoughts about worry. And she's sweetening the deal with a book give-away! I would love to read your thoughts - in the comment section or on your blog.

So, what do you think about worry?

Be sure to visit Shane and link up for the give-away if you decide to blog about it!
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Edited to add: Ah, yes! I agree that to disobey God is to sin. No doubt about that. BUT, did Jesus say, Do not worry, as a command to be obeyed, or as part of a teaching to show us how to live the life He wants for us?
At the end of the Do Not Worry section in Luke, Jesus says, Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? To me that sounds like He is reasoning with His listeners, and I wonder, Does Jesus NEED to prove His point about sin, or is He simply reasoning with them to convince them that not worrying really is the better way to live?
Anyone know Jesus' intent with these words???

Show Me YOUR Heart