Lessons From the Edge

Don't worry. Don't cast blame. Just Pray!

When something goes wrong, it's often our first inclination to worry and/or cast blame, isn't it?
Last week I took a group of residents to the mall - some who wanted to walk around, and some who wanted to shop. I was escorting one man to a couple of stores while a few others sat down to rest. And then I got a phone call.
"Karen, we lost M."
What???
"We told her we'd be right back, and when we got back, she was gone."
I went over to where B and C were and they explained that M was sitting 'right here' and they just went into a store for a minute. But when they got back, she was no longer there.
I said, "OK. God knows where she is. Let's pray, and then let's walk around and look for her." So the three of us joined hands and prayed - asking God to protect M, and asking Him to lead us to her. A security officer "just happened" to be walking toward us, so we told him about our missing companion. Then B went one way, and C and I went the other.

As C and I walked and looked, she said over and over again, "I should have stayed with her. I shouldn't have left her alone!" She was taking responsibility for M's M.I.A. status, and I could tell she was feeling badly. I tried to reassure C that it wasn't her fault. But she kept blaming herself.
Finally I took her hand and said, "Don't worry. Don't cast blame. Just Pray!" And I reminded her God would take care of our circumstance.
A few minutes later, we saw M walking out of a store and heading toward the bench where she'd been sitting.
I called B and the security officer to let everyone know we had M back. She'd just seen a shirt she liked and went into the store to purchase it. She wasn't lost. Wasn't scared. Wasn't worried. The circumstance wasn't the big fiasco the rest of us had assumed.

How often is that true of the things about which we worry? They usually aren't such a big deal, are they?! Really no need for us to blame someone for the way things are going, is there?!

May we all learn well this Lesson from the Edge: Don't worry. Don't cast blame. Just Pray!

Another 'Mean' Parent

Joshua spent the night at a friend's house last weekend, and when I got up the next morning I saw that Joshua was at home, in his own bed. When I found out why, I was thrilled.
Seems Joshua's friend, M, had been acting out and being rude to his mom. This is the same M who thought I was being too strict with Joshua when I grounded him for getting home 10 minutes late.
Apparently, M's behavior was over-the-top unacceptable, and the best way his mom could think of to punish him for acting the way he did was to end the sleep-over.
Immediately.
So she brought Joshua home in the middle of the night.

When we spoke about it the next day, M's mom apologized for bringing Joshua home at such a late hour. But I assured her it was a-okay with me. I told her Joshua gets upset with us for holding him accountable, that he thinks we're too strict. And I said I thought it was great that he could see another parent drawing a hard line.
The boys are testing our limits, and I was so glad she demonstrated clearly to M that he had crossed the line. I don't want to ruin their fun and make their lives miserable. But I do want them to understand and respect the limits and boundaries we parents set.

It was so refreshing to encounter another 'mean' parent. *wink*

HE Did It Again

I just have to boast about God today!

So, last week at work we were having a Fourth of July party. (Had it Friday, because the office was closed Monday.) And for weeks leading up to the party I was trying to find volunteers who could come in and help me set up, serve, and clean up. It isn't a huge job, but it is definitely too much for me to do on my own.
So, anyway, I was trying to find volunteers.
And I was striking out. What? Does everyone have to leave for the holiday weekend Friday morning??? I was holding out hope for one young lady who was going to call me early Friday to let me know if she'd be able to make it, or not.

Friday morning as I was having my quiet time I prayed and told God, I know You know my needs today - at work and at home. And I know You can meet them perfectly. I'm asking You, God, to do just that.
HE has always been faithful. HE has always provided what I needed. And often times HE has waited until nearly the last minute to show me how things are going to work out. (Seems God isn't very concerned about my desire to have everything planned out way ahead of time. Cuz I wouldn't need to trust so much that way.)

Fast forward a few hours...

I heard a page that I had a phone call on line one, so I went over to answer the call. It was Daisy, and I hoped she had good news for me.
"Can you come this afternoon?" I asked.
"Yes, I can," was her reply, and my heart did a little jump for joy. I just knew God would come through for me!
At that moment I was staring at the clock on the phone, and my smile got even bigger. Guess what time it was?

11:11

I'm not kidding!

For those of you who don't know the significance of 1111, click on the '1111' in the labels below and you can read all about it. *grin*

I Wanted to Say NO

...but I said, "Yes."

It was Thursday. My day off from "work". And I've been putting so much time in lately doing things for other people - at work and home - that I just didn't want to do anything for anyone on MY day. So, when my son asked me, "Mom, what's everything you're doing today?" I let out a hefty sigh and told him about my schedule. (One of my appointments was for a massage. *grin*)
Joshua told me he really wanted to go to a nearby lake to fish for several hours. He REALLY wanted to do it. It had been FOREVER since he'd been able to do it. Read that: It's been a couple weeks.
He was asking me to drive him there.

While I could tell Joshua was trying to be sensitive to my 'day off', everything in me wanted to say, NO. I felt like yelling, "This is my day. I have a couple things scheduled outside of the house, but other than that, I don't want to go anywhere. I don't want to do anything else. OK???"

But something Read that: GOD. It was totally HIM. No way this next part came from me! moved me to say, "Yes." "Yes, Joshua. I'll take you to go fishing. Yes. Your friend can come, too. Yes. We can stop at the store on the way so you can get worms and more hooks. Yes."
And the boy lit up. He smiled. He said, "Thanks, Mom!" after every single Yes I uttered.

I still got my things done. He was totally happy to work around my plans. And I was delighted that simply carting him around to a few places in the van could bring him so much joy.
I wanted to say NO, but I'm so glad I said YES!

Will You Pray?

"as He changes your heart."
That's what I was saying as the video ended. Accidentally stopped recording a bit too early, and I didn't want to go back to re-record the whole thing for that one phrase. *wink*

Oh, yeah. And "Happy Independence Day!" Just realized this will post on the Fourth of July!

Lessons From the Edge

If you're old and charming, you can insult people and they'll think it's funny.

So, the other day I observed our maintenance guy (F) in the atrium with one of our oldest residents (D). F was introducing his younger brother to D, and D said, "He looks almost just like you. Except he hasn't eaten as well as you!"
F has a pretty good gut on him, and it was a'bouncing as they all laughed at D's observation.

In most cases, a person would take offense to the suggestion that they're over-weight. But in this case, everyone had a good laugh. And I'm convinced it's because...
If you're old and charming, you can insult people and they'll think it's funny.

Getting Chores Done

As I sit here writing this, I hear the sound of the lawn mower and friendly chatter coming from the back yard. My son is mowing the lawn.
He asked if he could mow it.
Said the grass was getting long and looked like it really should be taken care of.
Yeah. The same son who has been in the habit of whining when asked to mow the lawn.
That one asked to do it!

Amazing? Unbelievable?

Maybe.

Until you get the rest of the story...

His girlfriend is riding on the mower with him.

Some would argue the only reason Joshua was eager to do his chores was because he wanted to drive the tractor around with his sweetie sitting behind him.
That may be true, but...
They're enjoying time together in a public setting. (I'm big on the 'public' thing!) The lawn is getting mowed. There was no whining or cajoling involved.
I'm good with that!

HE's Got You Covered

Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?"

Luke 12:22-26

I am absolutely certain God had me read this passage on purpose. The same day HE was going to work out some circumstances for me, and show me other ways HE had in mind to provide for our needs.
There were things which had been going through my mind. Some bordering on 'worry', and there HE went - taking care of the details.

I LOVE IT when HE does that!

Are you worrying about something today?
You don't need to.
Take a moment to re-read the passage above. Slowly. Let it sink in. Allow God to speak to your heart.
Seriously - the birds aren't worried. And you don't need to be, either!

HE's got you covered.

Forgive? Really???

The other day I heard a DJ on a local Christian radio station tell a story about forgiveness. He marveled at how God had forgiven him - a former alcoholic who lived on the streets as a teen - now forgiven, redeemed, and transformed by God. Then he shared that recently his teenage foster child had taken half a roll of toilet paper and plugged up the sink - allowing the water to run for 45 minutes, which flooded the bathroom and caused the ceiling under the floor to fall into the room below.
I was picturing what a mess and huge expense that would have been when the DJ asked, "How should I respond?" And he provided the answer, "I had to forgive him. I've been forgiven so much, how could I not forgive???"
I knew he had given the right answer. But - wow! - how hard that would be to do.

Within a couple hours I realized God was using that story to prepare me for the need to forgive a thoughtless teen. Not one of the teens who lives in my house, but one who God has brought into our lives - for whom I feel like a surrogate mother. Came across a chat she left on my hubby's computer and the things she said about me are very hurtful. I've been pouring love into her, and to read her words (which were sooooo opposite the words she says to my face) felt like a punch in the stomach.
Yet, I have been forgiven much. There have been so many things I've done and said which have been like a slap in God's face. But the blood of Jesus covers me! I am forgiven. And I will forgive.
***************************
Since writing this post I have spoken with this young lady about what I saw. She assured me the person to whom she was referring in her chat is not me. (Thinking it would be good to have a follow up conversation about why she would say those things about anyone...)
I hope she is being truthful.
I want to trust her.
Either way, I am thankful to God for this lesson on forgiveness.

Hiding

Lessons From the Edge

It's OK to need help.

But sometimes it's hard to admit it and accept it, ya know?

Last week, D did an activity in the Activity Room and when he was finished I took him back to his apartment. He was tired and was going to take a nap. I asked if he could manage getting into bed and he said, "Yes," so I said goodbye and went back to the Activity Room.
Five or so minutes later, I looked up and saw D through the window/hole in the wall. He waved me over. And when I got to him, D said, "I hate to admit it, but I need some help." Seems every time he laid down, his legs were slipping out of bed. He needed a little boost to get them up more on the mattress.
So I lifted his legs up onto the mattress for him, and everything was fine.

Except, I knew D was feeling bad.

His body is aging, and he can't do all the things he used to do. He has trouble walking. He has aches and pains and often needs help. But he doesn't like to ask for it. He doesn't like feeling "helpless." He feels like he isn't 'good enough' or 'man enough' because he needs so much help.
We've talked many times about needing help, and I have tried to assure him it's OK. But on this day, I spent more time trying to come up with examples of times I've needed help. Wanted let him know he isn't alone.
There was the time I broke my knee when I was seven months pregnant.
And my brain surgery - sure needed help in the hospital, and for many weeks after I was home.
But those instances didn't seem to me like they would be comforting to D. Because they were temporary. (Boy, was I glad!) And D's circumstance is not. Besides, those needs were external to me, and D's struggle is with his own body.

Then it was as if God turned a light on in my mind.
I realized I, too, have a struggle within my own body. I, too, have no control. I, too, didn't want to ask for help - felt embarrassed and ashamed that I couldn't 'take care of myself'. I, too, was facing something which wasn't just going to get better with time. But with the encouragement of some wonderful friends, and the support of my amazing husband, I went to a doctor and sought help.
I found a name for the struggle within me. Anxiety and Depression. And I started taking medicine (Didn't want to admit I needed that help!) and learning strategies to change my faulty thinking and self-talk.
And now? I don't burst into tears on a whim. I feel like my emotions are in check, rather than dependent on what someone says to, or about, me. I am able to let so many things roll off my back, when before they would have pinned me to the ground.

I didn't want to ask for that help, but I am sooooooooooooo glad I have it!

The interesting thing is, D and I haven't talked about this instance since it happened. It just hasn't come up. I have been considering how easy it is to encourage other people it's OK to need help, while I have been reluctant to accept it, myself. And all that has me wondering if God didn't just orchestrate that little scene so He could get me to realize it's OK for me to need help, too.

HE's good like that.

Thank You, Vyvanse!

So, Tuesday I wrote about one side of Joshua. And then I got his Trimester 3 report card in the mail. Today I have to brag on him.

First, a little background.

A couple of months ago, Joshua's problems at school came to a head. I got emails from his teachers about his inattentiveness and disruptive behavior in the classroom. He was getting sent to the office because of his behavior, and everyone was tired of it.
A year ago he was diagnosed with ADD and we tried medicine for a short while, but he didn't like it.We have talked and talked about Joshua's behavior. We've tried to help him come up with a plan to keep himself under control. But it OBVIOUSLY wasn't helping. After the latest string of events and complaints, we asked Joshua if he would be willing to try medicine once more.
And he said yes.
I think he realized he needed more help than, "I'll try."
I had weekly communication with Joshua's teachers regarding his behavior and progress, I got weekly reports about his grades, and of course I had Joshua's feedback ("Mom, I can pay attention!") - so I knew things were going well.
But it was getting that report card in my hand, and comparing it to his Trimester 2 report card which gave me hard evidence that he was doing better.

What do you think of this???

Trimester 2:
Math D+, inconsistent effort, seldom uses class time effectively
Science B-
Lang. Arts B-, need to improve effort
Soc. Stu. C+

Trimester 3:
Math B, shows desire to improve, is a pleasure to have in class
Science A
Lang. Arts B+, is a pleasure to have in class, improved participation and effort
Soc. Stu. B-, improved participation and effort

I don't think a pill is the answer to all our problems. And I certainly don't think this medicine excuses Joshua from responsibility to exercise self-control. But I have seen such a change in him. This medicine is doing for Joshua something he can't do, so that he can do what he can do.
His confidence has soared.
He actually enjoyed things in school. (Not everything, of course. *wink*)
He really seems to feel better about himself.
It's a wonderful thing to see, and I am so thankful.

Workout Prayers

I know I've mentioned before that I pray while I'm doing planks in a workout. But when I did them last week, God met me like never before. I was increasing the time I hold each plank, so I knew it would be harder. What I didn't expect was that the prayer time would be better.
At the beginning of each hold I simply asked God who He wanted me to pray for at that moment. When someone came to mind, I began praying. And the coolest thing happened. As my body began wanting to quit, I asked God to give strength to this woman when she wants to quit. Knowing God knows her present circumstance, I was confident He could meet her need. As my hold time was coming to an end - and I REALLY wanted to quit - I imagined how that woman may be feeling when her circumstance gets really hard. And it was like I was fighting for both of us to hold on, to persevere, to trust in God's strength and not our own.
Then my stop watch indicated it was time to rest and I collapsed on the mat - thankful that I'd held on until the end, confident that God would do the same for these people for whom I'd been praying.

Indeed, God is present and powerful and listening intently - even during my workouts.

Should I Care?

Joshua wanted to meet some friends at Funtyme. So I drove him there.
And when he was ready to be picked up, he texted me. So I went to get him.
As we were driving home, one of his friends called and they made plans to go fishing. But upon arriving home Joshua discovered that Matthew was using Joshua's bike, so he asked me if I would drive him over to the fishing pond.
He said he'd walk home.
I was feeling kind, so I drove him over there, too.
Before I dropped Joshua off we discussed when he was to be home for dinner, and he assured me he would allow plenty of time for walking - so he wouldn't be late. I probably confirmed his plans once or twice (Being late has been an issue for him...) and then I said goodbye.

Fast-forward to 5:40 that evening as Joshua walked in the door. (He was supposed to be home at 5:30.) His friend (M) was with him and they were trying to get a hold of M's parents to make plans for Joshua to spend the night at M's house.

Oh, silly boy!

Brian and I had already discussed the consequences for Joshua being late and agreed that he would be grounded.(The usual consequence for late-ness.) That meant no sleep-overs.
Even though being grounded is what happens when Joshua misses a curfew, he acted surprised (read that: He acted like I was out of line, the consequence was outrageous, and his world was just about to crash in.) and asked why he couldn't spend the night with M. As calmly as I could, I explained again that he was late coming home and the consequence for his action was being grounded.
He huffed around, went outside with M, and came back about five minutes later. Once more, Joshua asked if he could pleeeeease spend the night at M's.
Once again, I said, "No."
And once again, Joshua asked why.
I started to explain one more time, but was interrupted by my dear son as he protested that we are too strict. He said he was only a few minutes late, it wasn't a big deal, and he shouldn't be kept from this sleep-over. Joshua reiterated that we are too strict and then he hit me with the whammy. He said, "Even M thinks so!"

It took every ounce of self control within me to not come back with a very sarcastic, "Should I care???"
Because I don't.

Instead I think I said something like, "Why don't you start adhering to our rules and expectations, and see if you like the way we respond."

Honestly, it is not my life goal to make my son miserable. I want to teach him responsibility, and respect for authority. Want to prepare him to be a successful adult.
And if that means his friends think I'm too strict, so be it.
Because I really don't care.
*wink*

Adam Raccoon and the Circus Master

Lessons From the Edge

Only One Thing matters.

If you've read these Lessons From the Edge posts for any amount of time, you surely will remember C - one of my favorite residents. Once again, she is the one who was used to teach me a lesson this week.
I was interviewing her to be the next Resident of the Week, and had many questions to ask of her. Up to this point I had been aware C has memory problems, but it was in the context of our interview that her memory issues became undeniable. And it was in this context that the Lesson became clear.

C couldn't remember the name of the town in which she was born, though she was pretty sure it was in Michigan.
I asked about C's childhood - if she had any special memories of things she liked to do. She couldn't answer.
I have heard her husband's name before, and when I said, "Your husband was 'C', right?" she responded with, "If you say so!"
When I asked about her work history, C told me she helped in her friend's store sometimes during the holidays. But she couldn't remember anything else.

As we talked, my mind went to so many of the interactions we've had about upcoming activities when C has said, "How will I remember?" "When is it?" "What if I forget?" "Will you remind me about it?" I sort of let out a sad sigh, as I considered how difficult it must be to NOT remember so many things.

Finally, I asked my favorite interview question, "What makes you smile?" and C responded with a little tear in her eye, "My Savior loves me."
And that is when I learned this week's lesson.
C may not remember where she was born. She might have forgotten the details of her childhood and the things she did as an adult. Sometimes she doesn't even remember her husband's name.
But she knows God loves her.
And that's enough.
As I considered all the things we can know - all the things which can fill our memories - I realized only One Thing matters. And that One Thing is knowing the love of God!

Cleaning Up Blood

What would you do if your daughter called out in a panic, "Mom, there's blood all over the carpet!"?
When you're sitting on the couch watching a movie with your husband.
If you're like me, you'd moan and stand up while mumbling, "Guess I better go take care of that."

This is a picture of my evening last Friday.

But when I walked over to the beige carpet and saw several spots/smears of blood, my lackadaisical attitude quickly changed to action. I went straight to the hallway closet and grabbed a rag and my bottle of hydrogen peroxide. Then I got down on my knees, poured a small amount of peroxide on each spot, let it fizz, blotted it with the rag, and - poof! - the blood was gone.

Seriously. It was that easy. And there is no trace of the blood on the carpet.

It's a little trick I learned at Cedar Point when I was eleven, or so. I was taking my brother on a ride and the door hit his head - which started to bleed profusely. I picked him up and ran to a first aid station, where we saw some of the blood had gotten on my shirt. And the aide simply blotted it off with peroxide.
That's why when I saw all that blood on the carpet, I decided to give peroxide a try. And it worked. Beautifully.

Soooooo, the next time you have some blood to clean up, grab your peroxide!

BTW, the blood was from one of Elizabeth's friends. She'd cut her foot and didn't even know it until someone saw her tracks on the carpeting. *whatever* LOL

Should a Frog be Sad...

...because it can't fly?

Should a chicken be disappointed, because it can't swim?

Should a fish feel worthless, because it can't run a marathon?

Those questions are silly. Of course they shouldn't feel that way.
Frogs weren't created to fly.
Chickens weren't made to swim.
And fish weren't meant to run.

Why, o why, should they feel bad because they can't do what they were never intended to do?

It's easy to see the logic when we're looking at illustrations like these, isn't it? A bit harder when we're looking at ourselves. But that's where I'm going to ask you to go.
To the mirror.
To take a look at yourself.
Be honest.
Are you feeling sad, disappointed - even worthless - because you can't do something you weren't created to do? Are you spending your time and energy trying to be who you weren't meant to be?

Frogs hop well.
Chickens lay eggs.
Fish swim like no others.

Who did God make you to be? What did He create you to do?
Then be it and do it with all your might. For HIS glory!

Well Said

My kids got out of school for the summer last Friday. Matthew was excited to get his yearbook. And I loved reading the 'autographs' section. Particularly this note from his teacher:

Matthew...What can I say? You are a fun kid with a great sense of humor. Don't lose that.
When you're on, you're on so make sure next year you get all your work in on time! :o)
Have a great summer!
Mr. S.

I'm telling you, that man should get a thousand gold stars for the patience he had with my ADHD son this year. It hasn't been easy, and he's been great. I love that he captured Matthew's strengths in this note, and still encouraged him in his weakness.

I want to be a communicator like that!

It's Always Something!

Lessons From the Edge

There's more than one way to look at a situation.

Do you ever encounter something which bothers you, or brings you down, and you just wish things were different? I had a conversation with one of Edgewood's residents this week, and I could tell she was feeling that way.
M was telling me about her aches and pains, sounding rather despondent. Finally she just sighed and said, "Well, I'm old."

It isn't unusual for M to have a sad outlook. Our conversations often sound like that.
I've prayed with her often and tried to lift her up. But the comment she made about being old seemed a little 'down-er' than normal.
Then I had a dose of inspiration and said, "You aren't old. You're experienced!" And we shared a laugh at my silly thought.

Sure, it may have been silly. But it got a smile and a laugh out of M, and that was what I was going for.

Sooooo, what's bothering you today? Cheer up. I bet there's a twist that can get you to smile. Because there's more than one way to look at a situation.

He Does Listen!

If you watched my Monday video, you know I was kinda sick last week...
I recorded the video Thursday, and by Friday night I was barely able to get a sound to come out of my mouth. After dinner I simply laid down on the couch and closed my eyes. My body was worn out and I didn't want to exert another ounce of energy. So you can imagine my surprise when my heart started doing cartwheels!

Joshua and his girlfriend were taking care of the dishes, and I listened in on their conversation. M was asking what to do with the leftovers, and I heard Joshua tell her where the containers are located - and that she should find the matching lid. (Just like I've told him before!) What followed, though, is what really made me smile.
Joshua asked if the leftovers were still hot. Upon hearing they were, he told M to not put them in the refrigerator just yet. When she asked why, he went on to explain that it's better to let them come to room temperature before putting them in the fridge - so we don't alter the temperature inside the fridge and make it work harder.
Call me crazy, but at that point in the conversation my heart started doing cartwheels. The boy was repeating the exact words I have spoken to him. The same boy who seems to constantly send me messages that he isn't listening to me just proved that he does listen.
So my heart did cartwheels and - after all that excitement - I think I got off the couch and went to bed. *wink*

HE More Than Knows

I just started the New Testament in my read-thru-the-Bible-in-a-year program. And I was quickly reminded of an encouraging Truth.

Years ago I found myself pondering the notion that Jesus understands everything I go through in life. And I began wondering. Began doubting. I mean, how could HE understand me? Jesus was never a mother.
How could He possibly know what it's like to have children needing 'this' and 'that' and don't forget 'the other thing'? How could He really know what it's like to feel so desperate to find time alone? Surely Jesus never wanted to change His name so He could go unnoticed. Right?

Love that HE knows what I'm thinking. And knows how to answer.

In the midst of my questioning, I heard someone speak about Mark 1:21-45.
And I was amazed. Jesus does, indeed, understand what my life as a mother is like!
So as I read this passage again last week, I smiled and said to Him, You do know. Ahhh, Jesus, You more than know!

Go ahead and click on the link to read it for yourself, and see what you think!

Now i c

Several months ago I joked about the way I send text messages. It bothered me to think about re-writing our language with all the silly abbreviations used in texting. I wondered if we were going to have an entire generation who thinks "you're" and "your" are really spelled "ur", "be" is "b", and there is no need to utilize proper punctuation.

You know, because I'm practical and conservative like that.

Then my children gave me a lesson in texting etiquette and I began to gain a new perspective.
They explained to me what the numbers mean on the top of my screen.
I had no idea that when I have more than 160 characters in my message, more than one message has to be sent.
Receiving multiple messages can be confusing.
And annoying.

Oh, my. I suddenly realized I had been sending multiple messages which probably took three or four screens to complete. All because I wanted to use full words and proper punctuation. Who knew spaces and punctuation marks counted???

Anyhow, I don't like to be confusing. Or annoying.

So now I pay close attention to the numbers on the top of my screen. And I utilize ur and u and b and y and 2 and 4 and even skip some punctuation in order to keep it under 161.
C im not unreasnabl i just need 2 undrstnd
and now i c

A Little Hoarse

Mind Games

Is there a difference between lying and playing mind games?
In this case, I'm going to say, Yes.
Because, in this case, it is to my advantage to say Yes.

You see, recently Joshua had a friend over to spend the night. *ahem* My precious son and his friends have been known to get into mischief during the night, which has led me to be suspicious when these "sleep" overs happen. It has also led me to not sleep well during said sleep overs. But, as you'll see, that can be to my advantage, too.

Now, where was I?
Oh, yeah. The mind games.

On this particular night I was tossing and turning a bit, probably because my bladder was full, so I got up to use the bathroom. And while I was up, I heard noise coming from the basement. Thus, before I went back to bed I decided to do some investigating. hee hee hee
Nothing was out of place when I went downstairs, but I ran into Joshua on my way back to bed. He wondered why I was up (At 3:00 AM, I was wondering the same thing about him!) and I simply said I heard noise and was checking to make sure everything was OK.
"We're just going to bed now," he said.
But the look on his face said, Really? You heard us and you got out of bed to come check on us? How did you do that? Weren't you asleep? I've heard of moms having eyes in the back of their heads, but ears in the basement? That's crazy!

I couldn't make myself confess to the fact that I was already awake. The look on Joshua's face clearly told me he thought I'd woken up to their noise, and he seemed scared impressed. I wasn't going to ruin that opportunity.

Call it lying. Call it misleading, if you will.
I'm calling it mind games. And I'm putting it in my arsenal of Mom Tricks!

*wink*

I Shocked My Kids

We were talking about the story of Jonah during our family prayer time - sharing the things we learned about God - when I shocked my kids.

Elizabeth said she learned God is fair.
I disagreed.
I said, "God is NOT fair."

And each of my children looked at me like I was looney.
But I held my ground.

I said, "Is it fair that Jesus died on the cross?"
"Is it fair that we sinned, but because of Jesus' death, we get to go to heaven?"
"Is it fair that we don't get what we deserve?"

They got my point.

Indeed, God is NOT fair.

And I, for one, am so very thankful!!!

Please visit me at Lisa's

My beautiful friend Lisa Shaw invited me to share a post with her for her Ladies On A Mission series. It posted on Saturday but since I don't blog on the weekend I couldn't point you to it.
And since yesterday was a holiday and I wasn't blogging, I had to wait until today to send you over there.
Soooo, here's the link. Please take a moment to visit Lisa's place so we can talk more.

Happy Memorial Day!

We Interrupt This Blog...

Busy Thursday, didn't have time to blog.

Computer sick or dead. Not sure which.

Competing with family for time on Dad's computer...

Already have some posts scheduled to go next week. :)

Hoping to achieve something which resembles normalcy soon.

GOD is GOOD.

ALL THE TIME!

Evolution of the Birthday Party

Last Friday Matthew had some buddies over to celebrate his birthday.
They came over after school and ran around our yard shooting each other with their air-soft guns.
And I?
Made sure they were all wearing protective goggles. And sat inside enjoying the sound of boys running around, having fun.

When my husband arrived with pizza, the boys came in to eat.
And I?
Poured drinks. And marveled at the fact that some of the boys ate the apples I had set out for them. *wink*

Then the boys decided it was time for Matthew to open his gifts - so their pizza could settle a bit before they went back outside to run around some more.
And I?
Sat and watched.

Presents opened, the boys headed outside for an intense game of Capture the Flag.
And I?
Cleaned up the dinner mess.

When it was nearing time for parents to come and get their sons, I asked the boys if they wanted to come in for cake. And they came a runnin'!
I plated the cake and each guest came to the counter and took his piece. One boy politely asked me for a drink of water, too.

And as I stood there watching them, reflecting on the party which was coming to an end, I realized how significantly these events have changed over the years.
* It used to be I made up games for the kids to play - and led them through the games on party day.
* It used to be I came up with the decorations, and directed the kids through a schedule of activities for each party.
* It used to be they looked to me - the event planner - for where to go and what to do.

It used to be I had a lead role in birthday parties. But now it seems I've become a supporting actress. There's more for me to do behind the scenes than there is up front.
And really?
I'm OK with the change.
It's all part of this process of growing up. And I pray God will continue to lead me as the phases evolve.

HE Probably Knows the Gray Ones, Too

And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

Matthew 10:30

After the ways God has been seeing to my details lately, I suppose He even knows how many of my hairs have turned gray! (I've stopped counting.)

Seriously.

I have had stuff going on. Things to do. Deadlines to meet. And while I tried to take it in stride, tried to get things done ahead of time even, when it didn't fall into place on my timetable, I started to get anxious.
But I prayed. I told God I knew HE knew what was needed, and I asked Him to bring it all together.
Then I sat back and watched Him work.
OK, I didn't sit there and do nothing. I was active. But I was trusting God to do the real work.
And can I just say? As I did what I thought I needed to do, God delighted my heart by working out every single detail.

He is so into the details!!!

Are you facing uncertainty today? Feeling overwhelmed by burdens or obligations? Take your needs to our Father.
HE can handle it all.
HE will see to every detail.

After all, HE knows the number of the very hairs of your head.
Now, if He would just do something about my grays.
Oh, yeah. That's why I see Clayton! *wink*

It's Funny Because it's True

Matthew had his eleventh birthday last week.
And this line came from the card which my hubby chose for him:

How many sons does it take to change a light bulb?

...Only one. But you have to ask him about 50 times to do it.

I think I'll put that card in Matthew's 'memory box'. He'll appreciate the humor more when he has his own kids. *wink*

The LORD Will Receive You

Lessons From the Edge

Joy does not depend on circumstances.

Can I tell you about some other favorite residents of mine?
They are D and H.
D moved in a couple months ago and waited for H to join her. He was in a rehab facility, and D waited so patiently. I knew she was eager for him to join her, because every time I spoke with her, she'd say, "My husband is H. He isn't here yet. But he'll be coming." And she'd smile.
Oh, I wish you could have seen her after H finally arrived at Edgewood. That dear woman wore a smile bigger than any I've ever seen!
It was a beautiful sight to behold.
Since H came to Edgewood I have enjoyed many opportunities to talk with them, and to listen about their life together. They traveled around the country with a mission team and helped build (I think) 60 churches. They were teachers together at a small Christian school. They both loved music and enjoyed it together.
What a beautiful couple.

Well, last Friday, D passed away. And the first time I saw H since her passing was at Bible study on Monday. I put my arm around him and asked how he was doing. Without hesitation, H told me he was sad to not have her with him anymore but he was so joyful for her - because she is with Jesus. I've heard those words coming out of his mouth all week. I keep hearing joy, joy, joy.
Rather than focusing on his circumstance, H is rooted in Jesus.
It blesses me to hear him. H is reminding me to remember the eternal. Earth is temporary. Jesus gives us forever. Death is temporary for the Believer. We have eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
And, Joy does not depend on our circumstances.

***As I was writing this post it occurred to me D may be walking around in heaven saying to everyone she meets, "My husband is H. He isn't here yet. But he'll be coming."

Really?

Last Friday Elizabeth asked me to go on a bike ride with her.
What she didn't tell me was how looong of a ride she wanted to take.
And what I didn't realize was there was a lot of rain coming our way. And when I saw the clouds, it was too late. We were committed.

We biked to Meijer so Elizabeth could buy some gummy dinosaurs and on our way home she wanted to stop by her friend's house. So she could share some of her candy. *cute*
I actually enjoyed our little visit, and was pleased to be able to meet this friend's mother. But the whole time, I was keenly aware there was some rain a'comin' and we ought to get going.

Sure enough, just a few seconds after we got back on the road - I felt one.
And another.
Little drops of water on my hands.
The rain had arrived.
And before I knew it, I was getting hit by some very big rain drops. Elizabeth and I were riding pretty fast in our attempt to get home before it REALLY started raining. Going that fast was difficult for me, because I was blinking so much to try to keep the rain out of my eyes.
Just then I heard the familiar ring from Elizabeth's phone, which lets her know she's just received a text message. I looked ahead at her - riding down hill through the rain - as she leaned forward on her bike, opened her purse, and took out her phone to check her message.
I called out, "REALLY? You're going to read your text while we're riding through the rain???"
She just laughed.
And as she put her phone away she called back, "Michaela says her mom thinks you're nice!"

Well, I guess that message was worth risking life and limb to read. *wink*

On Fools and Discipline

A fool spurns his father’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence.

Proverbs 15:5

As I watch my son behaving like a fool, it absolutely breaks my heart.
And it makes me wonder how God feels - if it breaks His heart - when I spurn His discipline.
God knows what is right.
He knows the correction and guidance I need.
He knows the way I should go.
And He disciplines me to move me that way.

Yet sometimes I spurn my Father's discipline.
Sometimes I act like I know better than Him, and I get annoyed by the things through which He makes me go.
Yes, sometimes I pound my fists and turn my back - willing Him to leave me alone.

But when my husband and I are in our son's room and he does those same things to us; when my heart breaks because I want so desperately for my son to understand the discipline we're giving is for his good - because we love him; when these things happen, I begin to think I'm getting a picture of my Father's heart.

He loves me.
Everything God takes me through is for my good. Even if I don't like it at the time.
I can trust Him.
I believe it!

Do you believe the same is true for you???

What Does He Hear When I Don't Say Anything?

The other night, Joshua and I were in the kitchen working at the same time.

I could have written, "The other night, Joshua and I were in the kitchen together working." But that would be misleading. It would sound much too pleasant.

We had just walked in the door and I reminded Joshua he needed to unload the dishwasher. As he set to his task, I got back to making dinner. Before long, Joshua needed to put dishes away in the drawer in front of which I was standing.
So I stepped aside.
Then Joshua let out a *huff* and said, "You know, it's inconvenient for you to be working there when I'm unloading the dishwasher."
I was a bit surprised that he dared say something so flippant made that comment. I responded by saying, "Oh, really? Well, it was inconvenient for me to stop making dinner so I could go pick you up from track practice. But I did it anyway."
(I might have let out a little *huff*, too.)
And then, even though my mouth wasn't moving, my words kept coming. In my mind I continued on with everything I wanted to say. Well, son, if you unloaded the dishwasher in the morning - like you're supposed to - none of this would even be an issue. You would be done with your chores, and there would be nothing for you to do when you get home from practice. I wouldn't be in your way, and you wouldn't be in mine. It would be so much more pleasant if you would just do your chores when you're supposed to.

I looked at my son, completely oblivious to the conversation taking place in my head, and wondered, What does he hear when I don't say anything?

I Will Accept You

Lessons From the Edge

Age does not equal maturity.

Unfortunately, not all the lessons I learn at Edgewood are warm and fuzzy.
And this week I witnessed a couple scenes which felt more like cold and prickly.

Exhibit A: Talking with the Bingo crowd about cards. Some residents take the Bingo cards they like to their room - so they can use the same ones each time. Other residents don't think the cards should leave the activity room.
I tried to have a conversation with them about it Monday, and about 30 seconds into the 'conversation' I realized what a bad idea it was. *sigh*
They were bickering and complaining, and on the verge of insulting one another - over Bingo cards! For a minute I thought I was in a room full of junior high kids.

Exhibit B: Overheard comments on the bus. One of the ladies who lives at Edgewood has taken it upon herself to pull up just about every dandelion that dares appear in the yard.
Weeding keeps her busy.
She enjoys it.
Everyone on staff thinks it's a wonderful thing.
But a few of the residents have a different view. And I heard about it Wednesday when I was driving them to Walmart. One lady said to another, "Oh, look at her out there picking those dandelions!" "Yes. What does she think she's doing?" Pick a little, talk a little, pick a little, talk a little, cheep-cheep-cheep. (Does anyone else recognize that song from, The Music Man?)
When we were getting back from the store and she was still out there, the comments began again. And, once more, I found myself wondering if I had just become surrounded by junior high girls.

Indeed, I love the residents at Edgewood. However, this week some of them were displaying their not-so-pleasant side. And I was clearly reminded,
Age does not equal maturity.

Now I'm wondering what I can do - to make sure I don't fall into the same habits when I'm a senior citizen. *wink*

Joshua's Rhyming Couplet

A couple of weeks ago you got a taste of Joshua's story-telling abilities from the chat I shared.

Today you get to see his poetic side.

Joshua's language arts class just finished a poetry unit, and I completely enjoyed seeing him excited about school work. Really. He loved writing poetry. As I read his poems, I understood why. It gave him an opportunity to express his humor in a creative way. I think he really liked the idea that he could be funny and get good grades for it.
Inside his folder is written, "Poems are fun to write."
He even wrote an additional poem for extra credit. My son did extra credit work. This is uh-mazing!
Final grade: 69/65. Yes, that would be an A+.
This mama is so proud! *grin*

So here you have it - a little dark humor in a rhyming couplet:

Wolves
Wolves make very good rugs,
they can also be used for uggs.
They are not very nice,
they enjoy mauling mice.
They have no pity,
they will surely devour your kitty.
Without thinking twice,
they will slice and dice.
Most of the time,
you get caught on a dime.
And then it's too late.
They have already ate.

That's my boy! *wink*

More 'Stuff'

Last Thursday on my day off, I encountered more delays. Things thrown in my day unexpectedly, other stuff just not working out as planned - thereby causing delays. My plans for my day were getting all shuffled around. And I was trying so hard to not get bent out of shape about it.

Then...

I got into the van and as soon as I turned it on, I heard this song playing on the radio. Seriously!

I laughed out loud, and thanked God for reminding me that HIS timing, HIS plans, HIS ways are perfect. I thanked Him for reminding me how much I'm blessed - even in my little mess.
Oh, how I love it when HE uses my 'stuff'!

How has God been using your stuff lately?

What a Friend Would Do

Have you ever walked past a mirror and noticed your hair was messed up, and wondered how long it had been that way?
OR
Have you ever itched your nose and discovered *something* hanging just outside your nostril?

When situations like those happen to me, it makes me wonder if I have friends.

Because friends wouldn't let that happen.

A friend would tell you that your hair is messy and needs attention.
A friend would tell you there's a booger hanging from your nose.
A friend would offer you gum or a mint, if your breath was bad.
A friend would tell you about the broccoli stuck between your teeth.
A friend would ask if you really meant to only wear one earring.
AND
A friend would suggest you go to the bathroom to take care of the very ripe white-head on your chin.

That's what a friend would do. Because a friend sees what you can't see, and she looks out for you.

Now, go. Be a friend! *wink*

Don't Hide Your Face

Lessons From the Edge

Rhythm really doesn't matter.

Have you ever danced with someone?
When you do, you realize quite quickly how important it is to have a sense of rhythm, and to be in step with your partner. When the two of you are 'together' it makes the dance beautiful. But when you aren't? Uh, not so much.
This week I learned, however, that in the grand scheme of things, rhythm really doesn't matter.

We had a musical duo come in Wednesday and lots of residents gathered around to listen. About half-way through the program they played a polka, and I immediately looked for M. She and I always dance a polka together.
Then I remembered - M just moved. Because she needed 24-hour care. And I sighed a sad sigh. But when I looked up again, I saw D (not the same D I've written of before...) sitting in front of me and I leaned over his shoulder and asked, "Do you want to dance?"
D was quick to get up and I tried to give him a really fast lesson on how to dance a polka. (As if I know! LOL) He was unsure of himself and our feet got tangled a couple of times.
We started to 'get it' when the song was nearly over, as we danced around counting, "1,2,3. 1,2,3." But I'm sure we were not a very pretty sight.
Even so, we were laughing and having a good time. At the end, D held my hand up high and I spun around under his arm. We both giggled some more and he declared, "That was fun!"

And it was.

We may not have looked good. Our steps were off. No need to sign us up for a dance competition.
But I know none of that is important. D enjoyed himself. And in the end...

Rhythm really doesn't matter.

Up-front Struggling

So, last weekend Elizabeth wanted to do something with a friend and Brian and I were struggling with the decision to say 'yes' or 'no'. I mean, we trust Elizabeth. She's never given us a reason to NOT trust her. Even so, I don't want to just say 'yes' to everything.
Typically when we have a decision like this one to make, Brian and I talk about it and then let the kids know the conclusion we've reached. But this time we did it a little differently. (Not by plan, I must admit. It's just the way circumstances lined up.)
This time Brian and I struggled with the decision right in front of Elizabeth. We told her why we were leaning toward a 'no' answer, and she asked questions.
At one point she asked, "What do you think we're going to do?" To which I replied, "You don't seriously think I'm going to give you ideas, do you???" LOL!
We had a good discussion about being a teenager, making good decisions - and bad ones, and how that can all be influenced by peers. We shared our concerns with Elizabeth and reached an agreement.
Ultimately, we said, "Yes." And she was happy.

So was I.

Because I had a really good feeling about the struggle we'd just faced to make that decision. It seemed good to struggle up-front like that. I think it was good for Elizabeth to be part of the process and not just to hear the verdict.

And I pray God will keep leading us through this parenting thing!

Paul's Secret

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

Philippians 4:11-12

We've been having lots of conversations at the Hossink household lately about being content with what we have. Without the ability to see the future; with gas going over $4.00/gallon; with questions about what to do...the temptation is great to feel discontent.
Paul's words are so encouraging to me. I hear peace in his words. I hear calm. I hear...contentment. And I think to myself, Yeah. That's what I want!

So, what is the secret Paul learned?

He tells us in verse 13 of Philippians, chapter 4:
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
That's it. That's the secret. It's JESUS!
When I have plenty; when I am in want; when the economy is tanking; when money is abundant; whatever the circumstance I can be content when I trust Jesus to give me the strength.
God has been encouraging me so much with this understanding. I don't need to be strong. I don't need to muster up the gumption to put on a happy face and pretend to be confident about the uncertain future. I just need to trust Jesus.
HE is strong.
HE knows the future.
HE knows what I need.
And I can be content in every.single.situation through HIM who gives me strength.

Don't keep it a secret!

This is the Stuff

No one will ever be able to convince me that God doesn't speak through songs.
Ever.

It was my day off.
I had plans for what I wanted to do.
The first interruption came when I needed to take something to my son at school.
Then there was the 'quick' dentist appointment. That ended up taking over an hour.
A run to the grocery store, and then I'd be able to get to my things.
Oh, but since I was out I figured I ought to stop in another store to see if I could pick up something I need at work.
They didn't have it.
But they were kind enough to recommend another place I could look.
Uh, they didn't have it, either.

Whatever, I'll just go home now, I thought. And I'll get to do what I want to do!

Oh, but then I remembered I needed to stop by the library to pick up a movie for 'Movie Night' at Edgewood.
Just one more interruption...

Finally, on my way home - as I was feeling a little antsy because of the morning's delays and interruptions - I was just sure God was in control at the radio station. Because this song (which I'd never heard before) came on the radio. What a delightful perspective check. *grin*

Then You Will Know