Today I'm at The Point

I have had the pleasure of meeting a few blog friends in person, and Leah Adams is one of them. I love her heart for Jesus and for women! So when she asked for readers to share their faith story on her blog, I was only too happy to participate. I am delighted to share HIS heart and my story with the other women who enjoy Leah's blog.
Please join me over at Leah's so I can share my faith story with you, too!

Humbled. In Aisle 16.

I heard my phone ringing and dug through the groceries sitting on my purse to get to it.

Brian was calling.
"Hola!" (I don't know why I always answer my phone in Spanish. But I do...)
Once he discovered I was still at the grocery store, Brian wanted to know if it was too late for me to get him some shaving cream. Technically, it wasn't. I mean, I was still at the store. But I was nearly finished. And shaving cream was completely on the other side of the store!
Even so, what could I say? It's too far for me to walk?
So I got a few more items from my current aisle and then trucked across the store to the HBA department.

Just as I was about to reach for the shaving cream, I heard my phone again. Only now it was more buried by the recent items I'd grabbed and by the time I picked it up, I'd missed the call.
This time it was Joshua, and I pressed a button to call him back.
"Uh, Mom, are you still at Meijer?"
I wanted to say NO. "Yes."
"Hey, could you get me like four cans of corn?" (He uses corn for bait when he fishes for carp. They like the smell. Did you know corn is the most fragrant vegetable? I learn so many interesting facts from my young fisherman!)
"What about the three cans I bought you the other day that are sitting in the garage?"
"I just want to have a bigger supply. Please, Mom?"
"OK." *Hmph!*
It was just about at this moment when I began to think cell phones are not such a great invention.

I picked up the shaving cream and turned around to go back to the other side of the store - to the BACK of the store where the canned vegetables are located. As I trudged along I began to compose a text in my head which I thought I'd send out to my entire family.
It went something like this:

Unless the thing you need from the store is in an aisle I have not yet come to, it IS too late for you to ask for anything else. You know right where the paper is upon which to write the things you need from the store each week. This call-me-in-the-middle-of-shopping-and-send-me-all-over-the-store gig has got to stop. Love, Mom xxooxxoo

Just as I was pressing 'send' in my imagination I picked up the cans of corn and proceeded to the end of aisle 16. Where I saw the baked beans. And realized I had forgotten to get them the first time I was at this end of the store. Even though I had them on my shopping list.
So I grabbed a can and put it in my cart.
Then it occurred to me, if Joshua hadn't sent me for the corn? I would have left the store without baked beans, and would have been really frustrated one evening when I went to the cupboard and didn't find them there.
I smiled at God for the little goose chase on which He'd just led me.
I stood there thankful.
And humbled. In aisle 16.

Sometimes Hard Times Draw Us Closer

Lessons From the Edge

A mother's love never grows old.

Last Friday we were having a birthday party in the dining room. We'd gotten to the time for our sing-a-long and I was standing in the back of the room, uh, singing along.
As I glanced out into the atrium, I saw someone I didn't recognize and walked out to see if I could help him find someone. This man told me he was E's son (I could see the family resemblance!) and that he would wait until she was finished at the party. So I returned to my place in the dining room - which just happened to be right by E. (I love her, and choose to be next to her frequently. *grin*)

What happened next absolutely blessed my heart!

We finished one song and E looked up from her lyric page. She saw her son standing in the atrium and gasped, "My son! That's my son!" And the smile on her face was so big, it almost didn't fit.
He waved at her to indicate she could finish singing, and I stood by her enjoying the brightened light in her eyes.
When the party was over, I saw that 80-something-year-old woman move faster than I've ever seen her move before, as she glided to the atrium to hug her son. It was a beautiful sight. Absolutely beautiful.
And when I had cleaned up from the party I walked over to the two of them just to say,
"Thanks for giving me such a beautiful sight today."
At which time E said, "This is my son! I have eight great sons!"
I smiled at her and said, "I know!" And I do know. Because she has told me about them before.
And in that moment, looking at E beaming by the side of one of her eight great sons, I was fully convinced:
A mother's love never grows old.

Declaring My Dependence

It's the fourth of July!

And while the rest of this nation is celebrating our Declaration of Independence, I am here to declare my dependence.

When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one Man to die in order to dissolve the chords of sin which have destined His loved ones to an eternity in Hell, and thereby take on the punishment for their sin - setting them free and reuniting them with their Father in heaven - a reasonable response from those loved ones requires that they should declare their gratitude and devotion to the One who died for them.

I find these truths to be self evident, that I am a sinful woman without hope and without a future - except for the love and mercy shown to me by God through His Son, Jesus Christ. --That the blood Jesus shed on the cross was enough to cover my sins (and yours!) and bring forgiveness for all mankind. --That I have been made new by the grace of God through Jesus. --That the Holy Spirit now lives in me, and leads me in every day. --That apart from God, I can do nothing. --That God is perfectly faithful and I can trust Him. --That I now have hope, where there was no hope before.

I therefore solemnly declare by the grace of God that I am a free woman, absolved of all allegiance with the enemy of my soul; and by the power of the Holy Spirit I may declare War on my enemy at any time. I furthermore declare my intention to follow Jesus Christ with my whole heart, all the days of my life on this earth - while relying on the Holy Spirit's power to enable me to walk in His ways.

Wanna add your signature to this Declaration?

The Real Deal

Have you ever gotten one of those emails containing a touching story - which seems almost too good to be true? You know, so perfect of a set up and application that you figure it must be a made up story? Or am I the only skeptic?
Well, the story I am posting below is the real deal. It comes from a friend of mine. Her brother is the pilot telling the story.
Enjoy!

So I had to fly today. I was taxiing out in my 24000 lb 30 seat aircraft. The reason I bring up the size of the aircraft will be relevant in this story.

As I taxied out of the ramp, I saw a bird squatting right on the center line and in a position where we would definitely kill it if we continued with take off. I slowed down thinking the bird would move. I slowed down more. The bird got up and exposed she was covering 4 babies. These babies were each about the size of a golf ball.

But here is why I am telling you this story. The mother, faced with a vehicle that is a billion times over her size, turned and charged the nose of the aircraft. At this point, I had set the brake and radioed the tower that I would be holding for a moment. The airplane I fly has two 10 foot props on it and is the noisiest, most menacing thing on the ramp and the mother of these birds was determined to give her life in the smallest possible chance to save her children.

So I sat there and finally figured out how to get out of this standoff. I can put the props of this aircraft on reverse. So I did and gently blew the babies out of harm’s way. The mother to the end of this stood her ground and never showed any signs of moving until it was apparent that her babies would not be harmed.

All in all it has been another blessed day for all of God’s creatures!

So what did I learn this Sunday morning on a day I have to fly and can’t be in God’s house? A mother’s love would face total destruction and death to defend her children. This is the same love a man named Jesus Christ had for you when He gave His life knowing it would save yours.

On Patience

Lessons From the Edge

What you do and say today matters.

I was talking with the daughter of one of our residents this week. She was sharing some difficulties she has with one of her brothers and I was taken back by the anguish in her tone of voice.
As she was wrapping up her complaint she said, "Well, that's what happens with a mother treats her son like..." Though she didn't share any details, I could hear the pain in her heart. Hurts which stem from 50 or more years ago, and seem to still be growing today.
To hear this woman's mother talk, you would think they lived a perfect life. I know she loves her children. She speaks freely about how she enjoyed being a mother. But somewhere along the way, something went wrong. Something injured her daughter, and the wound is still festering. I don't believe for one second that L intentionally said or did anything which would harm her children or cause lasting pain. But, clearly, something went wrong.
And, although I felt powerless to do anything to help, I felt empowered by the lesson I was learning: to be intentional about the things I do and say, that they may make a positive impact and have a lasting influence on the lives of those around me. Especially my children.

Are you tracking with me? I imagine you are just like me in this regard - not wanting to wound another person with careless words or actions. So, let us resolve together to live intentionally, on purpose, making every effort to build up and encourage the people God has put into our lives. Let's make their tomorrow wonderful by our behavior today.

What you do and say today matters.

In the Midst of the Storm

We've had some rainstorms rolling through mid-Michigan.

Last night my husband and I got poured on as we took a walk.

This morning there was a good amount of thunder echoing through the sky.

Even as I type this post, the sky is gray and cloudy. And there is a steady rain falling.
Not really the kind of weather which has me excited about doing much of anything except sitting snuggled in my blanket. Safe inside.

But the windows are open and, when I pay attention, I can hear something else besides the falling rain. Outside in the trees there must be three or four, maybe five different birds singing back and forth to one another. The sound is beautiful. Happy, even. As in, if I closed my eyes and focused on only the song of the birds, I would picture a bright, sun-shiny day - full of hope and promise.

I listen to the birds, and hear not even a hint of concern in their song. I wonder what they're saying to each other. Are they thankful that the worst of the storm is past? Perhaps the birds are glad for the rain, because they know that soon the worms will surface and they can feed themselves and their babies.
OK, I really have no idea what they're trying to communicate.

But one thing I do know.

Their song is joyful. Yes, peaceful. Even though the sky is gray and the rain still is falling.

And if I listen with the ears of my heart, it is as if I can hear God speaking through their song. It is like HE is saying, I see your storms. I know all about them. The ones raging within you, and the ones coming at you from the outside. But you do not need to fear the storm. I am bigger. I am more powerful. I am LORD - even of your storms.
See the birds? They are not afraid of the rain or the wind. I care for them in every season and every circumstance. They can sing in the midst of the storm.
You can, too, dear one.
Come, hold My hand. Stay by My side. Find your peace in Me.
I've got this storm.

What are you hearing today?

I Don't Really Want to Trust God

OK, confession time.

I don't really want to trust God.

All this time, I thought I did. But recently I realized quite the opposite is true.
I was thinking about some struggles I'm facing and was praying as I wrote in my journal. I wrote, LORD, I really want to trust You, but... and I was about to write "I just wish I could see how this was going to work out."

As I thought about what I was saying to God, it hit me: I don't really want to trust God.
What I really want is to see and be sure of the outcome.
What I really want is for all uncertainty to be removed, so I can carry on in my life without concern for how my circumstances are going to be resolved.
I want to be able to read the end of my story ahead of time.
At the same time, I want to be able to say I'm trusting God.

In my moment of admitting to myself what was really true, God showed me the reality of what it means to trust Him: If I could see how my circumstance was going to work out, I wouldn't need to trust Him. If I knew the when, why, and wherefore, there would be no room for trust. I would have no need of faith. I could be secure in my own knowledge.
And I began to realize how lonely that would be.
*Just me, relying on myself and my knowledge.
*No need to seek my Father for guidance or insight or comfort - because I would know it all.
*I would have no reason to cling to Him, as I do now.
*I could just go along my merry way, knowing exactly what to do and expect. No surprises. No uncertainties. No need for faith.

Oh, I love that God knows my heart, my thoughts, and my every need.
I love that HE knows just how to reach me.
Because after the time we spent while God spoke to me about what it means to trust Him - and what it would mean to know it all myself - I realized, I actually do want to trust Him. I need Him, and I want to keep needing Him. I don't want to be self-sufficient, an island unto myself. I have a Father in heaven who is writing my story, who knows what He's doing, and who is completely trustworthy. And, with everything I am, I want to continue holding His hand as HE leads me through this life.

How about you, friend? Are you struggling to trust Him? How can I pray for you?

I Won't Clean for You...

...Will you return the favor?

I read a great post last week on Lisa-Jo Baker's blog about the things we moms can do for each other. And, while I appreciated the entire thing, there was one sentence which stood out to me above all others.
What can you do to encourage another mom?
How about "Not cleaning up before she comes over."

Does that statement resonate with anyone else as much as it does me???
I mean, seriously. I don't believe I am the only mom who struggles with feeling overwhelmed in just about every aspect of life. And when I go to another mom's house and it is spotless, well? Let's just say I have to really kick the positive self-talk into high gear.
*It's OK that your kitchen is cluttered, Karen. That doesn't make you a failure mom.
*Don't feel bad that your floors aren't free of dog hair. You aren't a loser.
*Ignore the perfectly arranged family room. Your worth comes from Me, not from your home.

But when I go to a friend's house and there are dishes on the counter, and toys on the floor, unfolded laundry in a basket in the hallway, and maybe spots of dried milk on the kitchen table? Well, I feel relaxed and comfortable.
I feel like she understands me.
I feel like the pressure's off.
I feel like it's OK to be me.
I feel like giving her a hug and saying, "Thanks for not cleaning up for me!"

I am totally not opposed to cleaning my house.
But if you come over, and the house is cluttered? Please know it's because I love you and I don't want you to feel pressured. *wink*

HE is Writing Your Story

Some Reading While I Rest

I had a great retreat last week, and am thankful for a time to rest.

But it occurred to me I could leave you with some reading while I rest from blogging. I made a quick visit to my archives to bring up some of my favorite posts for you this week.

Monday: This is Hard - One of my first video devotions, from November 30, 2008.
Tuesday: 100 Things - Not so random facts about me, from May 11, 2007.
Wednesday: I Forgot! - In retrospect, this should have been my first clue about Matthew's attention difficulties, from May 16, 2007.
Thursday: Bath Time - Makes me laugh remembering this event, from January 22, 2009
Friday: This Week's WORD - A good thought with which to end the week! From May 8, 2009.

Lessons From the Edge

You've got to accentuate the positive.

This is one of the songs which plays frequently at Edgewood. And even though I *ahem* get a little tired of hearing it, I must admit it's a catchy tune. And I found myself singing it to some residents last Friday.
We took a trip to an airfield nearby to watch radio controlled airplanes fly. The event was called WarBirds and Classics Over Michigan, and it was fun for our residents to look at the planes. (Especially some of our veterans. I thought one man would have tried crawling into the plane if no one was watching. And if he was able to shrink himself to nine inches tall!)
It was great hearing them reminisce.
The not-great part was the weather. It was quite chilly. And breezy.

BUT, it wasn't raining.

Last year when we came to WarBirds and Classics Over Michigan, not only was it chilly, but it was also raining. And we didn't get to see any planes fly.
So this year, whenever someone commented about the temperature, I said, "At least it isn't raining!" And I started to sing...You've got to accentuate the positive.

How can you accentuate the positive today?
***************************************************************
Just so you know, I took my retreat day yesterday. So the blog will be resting next week.
I'll be back on the 17th.

A Not Scary World

Last week I got a phone call from a woman who had read an article I'd written. We were having an enjoyable conversation when the subject of school came up. She was surprised to learn that I do not homeschool my children. Like, really surprised. She asked if I send them to a public school, and when I told her I do she asked, "Isn't that scary?"

In the midst of that conversation - for a very brief moment - I revisited my feelings of I'm-not-a-good-enough-mom-because-I-don't-homeschool, but God quickly and graciously took me past my faulty thinking. And I responded with a confident, "No."
No. It isn't scary to send my children to a public school.
*My daughter leads a Bible study in her public school and is shining the Light of Jesus among her classmates.
*I know there are Christian teachers at all the schools. My children have been in the classroom of several of them.
*My son told me recently about his science teacher affirming her belief that life begins at conception. He thought that was remarkable enough to tell me about it several hours after he'd heard it.
*I've had good conversations with Christian parents of other kids who attend our public school.
*And I've had the opportunity to be in the lives of and pray for kids who would not be in our lives if my kids didn't attend public school.
Besides all those factors, I thought of the fact that I met Jesus and HE saved me while I was attending a public university. At a university where partying, drinking, and sexual promiscuity were the norm, Jesus sought me out and captured my heart.
Even now, I live in public. We all do! And there is no need to be scared. (OK. It can be scary to consider some of the things going on in our world today. I often find myself asking Jesus to hurry up and come back!) The reality is, Jesus is alive and active in the public world just as much as He is in our privacy.

HE is too big and too powerful to be confined to our safety nets.

I am so grateful for that phone call, the conversation I had with that young mother, and the ensuing reflections through which God has led me.

I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

John 16:33

Inadequate, or Inspired?

My husband is quite a stud.

Have I ever mentioned that before?

He works out almost every day. And works hard.
A couple of years ago he started doing this thing called Cross Fit, and he really enjoys it. He likes going to the gym and "kicking the butts" of the young 'uns. (Those 20-something studs, and even some Marines. *proud wife*)

So, a few days ago Brian was watching an event from the Cross Fit Open online. This particular competition involved workouts with high weights, high difficulty, and high repetition. And the athletes were amazing as they tackled the routine.
After watching almost the entire event, Brian said to me, "I am feeling incredibly inadequate right now." And I replied, "So, why are you watching that?"

"I'm looking for inspiration."

Oh, did I ever understand!

Brian's comment - about feeling inadequate while he was looking for inspiration - sounded just like me during my years in MOPS.
I was so hungry for inspiration, yet after nearly every meeting I had the same response. "I will never be as perfect as the woman who just spoke to us."
*I remember hearing tips about getting your child to obey 'Right away. All the way. And with a happy heart.'
*I listened to women talk about how to decorate our homes 'just so'.
*And let us not forget the women who talked about scheduling and activities which would make your child a little genius.
All those women seemed to have it so together. Everything was all figured out, and they were well on their way to "happily ever after".
And I? Was left with the feeling that I would never be as perfect as they were.
I was looking for inspiration, but I felt incredibly inadequate.

Now, I know those speakers who came to my MOPS group had good things to say. They were all godly women, but I was dealing with my own issues which prevented me from hearing the inspirational things they were saying. The truth is, I needed someone to tell me I wasn't alone in my struggle. I needed someone to tell me what I was going through didn't make me a loser-mom.
I needed someone to point me to Jesus and show me how HE could bring hope and peace to my circumstance.
I needed to know it is OK to not be perfect.

And that is why I am so thankful God has given me the opportunity to share my story with other moms. To confess my struggles and testify to the goodness of God as He brings beauty out of my mess. I cannot begin to express what a delight it is to hear these words from a mother who needed to hear my story: "I'm so glad to know I'm not alone!"

Jesus, please keep speaking through me so overwhelmed mothers know - they are not alone!

You 'da Man!

I witnessed the cutest interaction a couple of nights ago.

Matthew was sitting at the table playing games on the computer when Elizabeth came up from the basement. (She had been down there working on a project all evening.) Seemingly out of the blue, Elizabeth asked Matthew if he wanted to come downstairs and play his video games in the basement.
A bit confused, he looked at her and asked, "Why???"
"Because it's cooler downstairs. You'll be more comfortable...And I don't want to be alone. My imagination is playing tricks on me."
She probably flashed him a puppy-dog look at that point, too.

Matthew is a very accommodating guy, and it didn't take him too long to agree to Elizabeth's request. So she turned and bounded back down the stairs.
Looking up from my place in the kitchen, I said to Matthew, "She needs someone brave and strong to protect her. And you're just the man for the job!"

I only wish I had a camera ready to capture the look of pride on Matthew's face, as he gathered up the computer and went to the basement to stand guard over his big sister.
It was priceless!

A Picture of Grace

Lessons From the Edge

Charm and lots of personality, can overcome twang and lack of punctuality.

We had a country singer come to our birthday party last week. This was the second time he has come to Edgewood. The fourth time I've had him scheduled. (The first time he didn't come, he got stuck in a snow storm somewhere. Don't remember the reason for his second cancellation.) So when I got a phone call from his manager just a few hours before he was due to arrive, my heart sank a bit. Fortunately, it wasn't another cancellation. Simply a report that he'd gotten held up in construction, to let me know he'd be late.

Even before M arrived, I had decided I wouldn't be hiring him again. He comes from far away, and it just didn't seem to be working. Cancellations and delays don't fit well with me or with residents who tend to show up 15 minutes early for everything.
I served birthday cake and explained that M was on his way. Hoping I could keep everyone interested enough in staying, so M wouldn't be singing to an empty room.

The concert began shortly after M's arrival, and the residents seemed to quickly forget about the time they'd sat waiting. Smiles covered their faces, toes were tapping along with the beat, and several of them were singing along.
That was all nice, but I still wasn't planning on hiring M for another program somewhere down the road. Did I mention he's a country singer? Not my favorite kind of music. In fact, in a room full of 80 and 90-somethings, I had a feeling I wasn't the only one aching for some Big Band tunes.

However, when the concert was over M walked around the dining room, greeting all the residents who had come to listen. And with each interaction he had, I kept hearing the same thing: "Oh, please come back again!" "I enjoyed your performance so much!" They exchanged hugs and hand shakes and lots of kind words, and I realized the residents had easily forgiven the tardiness. They didn't seem to mind the twang. M won their hearts with his charm and personality, and nothing else really matters.
Looks like I'll be hiring him again, after all.

Charm and lots of personality, can overcome twang and lack of punctuality.

Dog Lessons: Part 3

Go to the Comforter.

It used to be that Mindy had a kennel. She slept in her kennel, and that is where she stayed whenever we left the house.
But then she got really weird about it, so we quickly got rid of the kennel. And Mindy had to find a new place to sleep.
She chose Joshua's room. He made a comfortable nest for her right under his bed, and she was a happy dog. Every night when he goes to bed, Mindy faithfully follows.

The other day as I was getting ready for work, Mindy took her usual day-time position. She likes being where the action is so, while I had my breakfast and gathered my things for work, she was laying on a blanket in the corner of the family room. I think she felt comfortable there - watching me do my thing.
When I put on my shoes and grabbed my purse, Mindy got up and slowly walked to the steps - looking at me with her sad eyes as if to say, "Mommy, don't leave me alone again." I said my usual, "Good-bye, Mindy. Have a nice day!" And as I opened the door to go into the garage, Mindy ran downstairs.
I knew where she was going.
She was headed straight for Joshua's bed - where she would stay all day when no one was in the house. Yes, she would be alone. But I knew the familiar smell of her beloved big brother would comfort her little heart.
And she would be OK.

What do you do when you're feeling alone and sad?
May I suggest applying this lesson from Mindy? Go to the Comforter!

Dog Lessons: Part 2

You can't hide disobedience.

It can happen one of several ways.
*I might hear the familiar click of Mindy's claws as she lands on the wooden floor while I'm walking down the hallway toward the family room.
*Sometimes I hear the her dog tags jingle just as I'm about to open the door and walk into the house.
*Every now and then I notice the corner of the couch is warm, even though no one else is home so I know there hasn't been a person sitting there.
*And other times, it's simply dog hair on the cushions which blows her cover.

Whatever the form of revelation, I know Mindy has been on the couch. Even though she knows she isn't supposed to be there. And honestly, sometimes I sort of laugh to myself about it because I wonder, Does she really think I don't know what she's doing?
Because even though I don't see her doing it, I totally know!
That little dog is going to have to get a lot trickier if she thinks she's going to hide her disobedience from me.
*She might start by installing carpet so I don't hear her claws hit the floor every time she jumps off the couch.
*Perhaps she should take her collar off so her tags don't jungle when she jumps down.
*It might be a good idea to pull a blanket up onto the couch with her, which she takes down with her as well - to insulate the cushions from her warm body.
*The blanket would help with the dog-hair-left-behind issue, too.

Or, maybe, she could just stop laying on the couch.

So, I have to ask. Is there disobedience in your life which you think you can hide from our loving Father? Because He's been reminding me via my interactions with Mindy that HE can see it - even if we think we're being smart enough to cover it up.
You can't hide disobedience.

Yet, just like I keep loving that little mutt (in spite of her laying on the couch), God reminds me His love for us remains. Unconditionally.
And when we choose to obey, we find HE knew the best way all along!

Dog Lessons: Part 1

I'm beginning a mini-series today.
Lessons I'm learning from my dog. Lessons about life, and faith in God - which HE is speaking to me through this little mutt, who has captured my heart - in spite of herself. *wink*

How long will this little series last?
I have no idea.
Let's just take it one day, er, one lesson at a time.

Lesson #1: When you're stuck, follow the Leader.
Mindy has a long leash which pretty much gives her access to the entire back yard. I think it's a 30 (maybe 40?) foot leash, and it's attached to a cable which runs from the deck to the shed. It allows her to go all over. And she loves to explore!
Problem is, sometimes her wandering leads her in circles and she ends up restricted in her movement because she's tangled herself up around a tree or the swing, or some other plant. And in those moments my normally-hyper-dog becomes quite pathetic. She lets out her woe-is-me yelps until someone comes to help her out of her mess. (That someone is usually me...)
So I go outside, assess her situation, and then lead her backwards through the mess - until she is untangled and can run free again. And it's in the untangling that I have learned this lesson.
You see, sometimes Mindy has to go through some uncomfortable things during the untangling. She might have to squeeze under a low bar on the swing, or walk around the tree two and three times, or squeeze under that bar yet again. But I've noticed she never questions me when I'm leading her through the obstacles. Because she trusts me, and she knows from past experience that I will ultimately lead her to freedom. So she keeps following.
And when she makes it through, her little tail wags happily and I usually get some kisses.

OK, my friend, it's time to apply the lesson I learned from Mindy.
Do you see the parallels for our lives? For the times when we get stuck in our own messes?
I'm not the only one who ever gets stuck, am I?
Each time I go out to lead Mindy out of her stuck-ness, it is as if God says to me, Karen, do you see how this little dog is trusting you to lead her? Do you see how she obediently follows you? (Don't start with Me about how she got herself into this mess, dear. You know all too well, you've done the same thing.) Just like you can see the solution to her problem and she can trust you to bring her out of it, so it is with Me and you. I see you and I know everything about your circumstance. I will lead you through your mess. I will get you un-stuck. You just need to trust Me.
When you're stuck, follow the Leader.
I love you!

I Want to Hear HIM

Lessons From the Edge

Some people are impossible to please.

OK. I just need to vent for a minute.

So, there's this woman, V, at Edgewood - about whom I have never said, "She's my favorite." Because, well - she isn't.
Recently she was complaining to me because we weren't going to Walmart this month. (Low attendance on this trip the past few months, the distance between Walmart and Edgewood, and the fact that we make two trips to Meijer every week played into that decision...) She told me "everyone" was upset about not going - and pointed out that sometimes people like to go to Walmart just for an opportunity to "go" somewhere.
OK, V. I hear you. But the decision isn't mine, anyway. I just listened and smiled.

Fast-forward to last week.
I was in the dining room making announcements - which included an invitation to everyone to attend "coffee time" with me at a local restaurant later that afternoon. As I was putting the microphone away after announcements, I heard V say to one of the ladies at her table, "Why would we go out for a cup of coffee when we can have coffee right here?"
I bit my tongue and pretended I didn't hear her, but part of me wanted to march right over to her table and remind V of the complaining she did to me. I wanted to ask her how I could possibly please her. You're upset about not going to Walmart for an opportunity to "go" somewhere, but you don't want to go "out" for coffee (or dessert, or whatever else you might get...) because you can get coffee here? What gives???
Indeed, some people are impossible to please.

Even so, I realize I need to love on V. She is a difficult woman - often grumpy, and hard to please. That's just how she is. Yet, she is loved by God and I trust HE has put me at Edgewood for her, too. Father, give me the grace to love - even when it's hard.

Do you need grace to love a difficult "someone", too?

Corrector for Eyes?

I was putting on my make-up the other day when I noticed something different on my tube of concealer. I recognized it as Spanish writing, and I chuckled as I "read" it.

corrector para ojos

It's been about 26 years since I've been in Spanish class, but I still remember "para ojos" means "for eyes". And I don't know about you, but to me "corrector" in Spanish looks an awful lot like "corrector" in English. And I wondered at the literal translation for those words, and the implication for my make-up.
Corrector for eyes? Is that what I'm doing when I put concealer on blemishes? Correcting your eyes? Now, I don't wear much make-up, but the thought of "correcting your eyes" made me feel a little vain. *blush*

And then I began thinking about the rest of the day. You know, those hours we spend out in the world after we have corrected what eyes will see on our faces? And I asked myself if I was applying corrector para ojos to anything besides my face.
When I go out, am I concealing the real me?
Am I correcting what other people see, so they believe what I want to portray?
These are hard questions for me, because my heart's desire is to be authentic - to be REAL. But it is so tempting to put on a mask and act like everything is always great.

The truth is, everything is NOT always great. My circumstances can get me down and discouraged. But God is always faithful. ALWAYS. And that is what I want people to see.
If I apply corrector para ojos to my life, I fear I will block the ability of others to see God's faithfulness in the midst of personal trials. And concealing God is something I NEVER want to do!
So I pray God will give me the grace to keep my corrector para ojos in my make-up bag.

How about you? Are you allowing God's faithfulness to show through your life?

Her Horse, My Son

I needed her to listen to me, and she needed me to get off her back.

We all laughed when Kris made that statement.
Kris was one of the speakers at the Captivating Retreat I attended last month and she was telling us a story about an adventure she'd had with her horse. As you can guess based upon what she said, Kris and her horse were having some challenging times. They were both frustrated, and though they obviously understood one another - their own desires were too great to give in to what the other wanted.
As she spoke, I could feel the tension in Kris's heart because I'd just experienced a moment, er - a few days - like that with Joshua. So when she made that statement, "I needed her to listen to me, and she needed me to get off her back," I felt like God was speaking directly to my heart.
Suddenly I was transported back to one of the episodes with Joshua when he wouldn't listen to me; when I was simply trying to show him the right way to do something, and he wouldn't listen.
And I - in my *righteous* desire to have him obey, because that's what kids are supposed to do(!) - wouldn't let go. I kept riding him.

But he needed me to get off his back.

And there - in the unscheduled bliss of the retreat, where I was able to slow down and think - I could see the reality of that situation with my son. I realized my desire to have him "listen" was really a reflection of my desire for perfection.
*I wanted him to do the job right.
*I wanted Joshua to acknowledge that I know better than him how to wash greasy pans (or whatever it was we were bickering about that day...).
*I wanted him to do the job the way I do the job.

But he needed me to get off his back.

And there - again, in the unscheduled bliss of the retreat, where I was able to slow down and think - God moved my heart. He convinced me to get off Joshua's back. Because my pride is NOT worth driving a wedge between my son and me. Ever.
Thank You, JESUS, for opening my eyes!

Finding a Rhythm

One month ago I had the opportunity to spend an extended weekend enjoying a wonderful women's retreat. It was the Northern Michigan Captivating Retreat.

(PSA: If you ever have an opportunity to attend a Captivating Retreat, do it!)

At first, I thought someone had it in for me and was attempting to ruin my weekend.
You see, there was no schedule in the packet of information I received upon arrival. And I was told there would be NO schedule provided for the weekend. At.all. As in, I had nothing to look at which would tell me where I needed to be at 6:00, 7:30, or 8:42. I didn't know what time breakfast would be served, when I would have time to use the bathroom, OR when I could schedule in a walk around the lake.
Now, for a control freak person who lives her life by a schedule - who even sets alarms on her phone to remind herself when to run errands and taxi her kids various places - NOT having a schedule for the weekend is NOT GOOD.
But there I was - three whole days without a schedule.
And, I'm telling you, the person who came up with that plan? Is brilliant!
By the grace of God, I adjusted very quickly - and learned to go with the flow. I didn't worry about when to be where, because at the end of everything we did someone told us when and where to be next. I wasn't concerned about what to do, or if we were running according to schedule. Because there was no schedule! And with that burden lifted, I was able to fully immerse myself in the content of the weekend and to allow God to hold and heal my heart.
One morning, I just sat with Jesus for a while and cried. And it was glorious! I realized I was actually slowing down enough to have feelings. That's something I hadn't experienced for much too long.
What a gift it was to have that weekend away!

But then I got home, and I don't feel like I've stopped moving since. There were speaking engagements, birthday parties, prom, events at work, gatherings with friends, and on and on. All good things, but so much of it!
And this feeling - that I haven't stopped moving for the past month - has convinced me I need to follow through with the plan I felt God leading me to when I was at Captivating. Once a month on a Wednesday I am going to go straight from work to a retreat center not too far from where I live, and I am going to spend the night there. I'll stay there until Thursday afternoon. And for that 24 hours, I am going to be completely un-scheduled. (Did anyone else catch the irony in that last statement? I didn't do it on purpose. Really. It's the control freak in me, fighting to not be forgotten. *wink*) I am going to allow God to make all the plans for my retreat time. I am going to trust Him with the outcome.

Ahhhh, yes. Once a month I am going to take a very needed rest. I realize a schedule is necessary in life and in the working world, but I also realize I have gotten too tied up in mine. And I am soooooo looking forward to finding a rhythm between following a schedule and NOT.
*happy face*
********************************************************************
By the way, this retreat thing means a new rhythm for my blog, too. Since I do the majority of my blog preparation on Thursdays - my blog will take a monthly break, as well. That is, I will not be spending my retreat time blogging. So the week after each retreat, this blog will also be resting.

Sometimes, HE Prunes

Lessons From the Edge

Powerful doesn't always look like it.

Picture this:
A room full of thirteen people.
Only two of the heads are not completely gray - mine, because I'm only 41 (the next youngest person in the group was in his 70s); and D's, because she colors her hair.
There are five walkers, four replaced knees, eight hearing aids, eleven pairs of glasses, one hip which needs replacing, and probably a couple of pace-makers, too.
Two people have Parkinson's Disease and cannot control their shaky hands.
One person recently suffered a mini-stroke and is still dealing with tingling in his face and hands.
Everyone has memory issues of some sort (myself, included!), but one woman in particular often needs to be reminded of things as simple as sitting down in her chair.

Now, with this image in your mind, how crazy do you think it is that I sat in this room, looked at this group, and proclaimed, "There is a lot of POWER right here!"?

We'd just been looking at 1 Samuel 16, when little David was anointed king of Israel. We talked about how unlikely of a candidate David was - according to the outside - and the reality of the power of God's Spirit to do things we could never imagine. And that's when it occurred to me: I was surrounded by a lot of POWER in that room full of wrinkles, arthritis, and back-aches.
I said, "We may not look like much - and our problems may make us look like even less - but if you are a believer in Jesus Christ the Holy Spirit lives in you. And His POWER is more powerful than anything else in the world!" And, together, we realized God could use this motley crew - empowered by His Spirit - to do amazing things. Just like little David slayed the giant by the power of the living God, so we can do big things by His power.

Are you feeling small and insignificant today? Powerless to do much of anything? Remember, if you are a believer in Jesus Christ, His Spirit lives in you. And His POWER is more powerful than anything else in the world!

The LORD who delivered me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will deliver me from the hand of this Philistine.

1 Samuel 17:37

I Think Mrs. Proverbs 31 Probably Struggled with Motherhood

And I think the title of this post probably has some people thinking I'm a little heretical.

I hope you'll keep reading, anyway.

I've been thinking about Mrs. Proverbs 31 quite a bit recently, and the more I think about her - the more real/normal/relatable she becomes to me. I think in many ways, she was a mom just like me. Her children were probably pretty normal kids. They probably were needy and whined now and then. And she probably got tired of hearing the whining.
I imagine she got frustrated on occasion and had to take her own "time out" to get herself back under control.
Verse 16 of Proverbs 31 says she planted a vineyard, and I wonder if now and then she might have lingered a little longer than necessary in the vineyard - just to enjoy the peace and quiet. You know, the same way you and I have lingered a little longer than necessary in the bathroom?
C'mon. Admit it. You've done it, too! *wink*
And as I read about all the amazing things she did, part of me has to believe there were probably nights when she fell into bed exhausted, crying herself to sleep at the thought of going through it all again tomorrow.

I can hear your question now. It's the same one I had. If this is true - if Mrs. Proverbs 31 struggled at times with motherhood - why don't we read about it in Proverbs 31?
That's a great question.
And I believe the answer is: Because she was not defined by her struggle.
Mrs. Proverbs 31 didn't focus on her challenges. Rather, she feared the LORD. That means she had a profound trust in God. Everything about her revolved around her faith in the God who loved her, and that impacted who she was and what she did. I believe she saw her struggles as opportunities to grow closer to God, rather than as reasons to despair.
She was defined by her faith in God - and that made all the difference.

Beauty and the Beau: Prom 2013

Elizabeth attended her first-ever prom Saturday night.

And I have pictures for you.

First, a look at the Beauties.
Elizabeth's friends Michaela and Brianna came over to get ready for the big event. They were all lovely. *proud momma smile*

Beau looked great, too!

And, just to keep it real - see Beauty's shoes?
Yes, she wore her black Converse tennies. And she didn't have to kick them off during the dance. *smart girl*

After dinner and pictures at our house, the kids and Beau's mom and grandma went to our church for more pictures. Formal pictures were taken in the gazebo.

Then it was time for "fun" on the Noah's Ark structure on the playground.

And then, Beauty and the Beau and their friends went to church before going on to Prom. Because they were going to attend Post-Prom which lasted until 3:00a.m.(!), and they knew they wouldn't want to get up for church Sunday morning. And they didn't want to miss it.
They're just awesome like that. *proud momma smile*

What Do Moms Need?

I had a great conversation with a few moms after I spoke at a MOPS meeting last Friday. And the things we talked about reminded me so much of the devotion I recorded for yesterday, I felt I needed to do a follow-up post to keep the conversation going.

In addition to time alone with God, we moms most certainly need time alone with one another. And by time "alone" with one another, I mean - time with one another sans kiddos.
We need time when we can just be women who share our hearts, our joys, AND our hurts so we know we are not alone in the things through which we're going.
We need to be able to be real with one another.
We need to listen and share, to support and encourage.
And no matter how good we all are at multi-tasking, this level of intimacy can really only be accomplished when we are able to get away with friends. Throwing kids into the mix - even if they're happily occupied in the other room - significantly impedes a mom's ability to be fully present with other women. Thus impeding her ability to share deeply and support whole-heartedly.

The problem - as I was hearing it Friday - is that, too often, moms just can't get away.
*We talked about the feelings of guilt they have over leaving hubby alone to do bedtime, or dinner, or any number of things he is perfectly capable of doing alone.
*We talked about too-busy schedules which prevent anyone from planning much of anything when it comes to getting together to just talk.
*We talked about not realizing how important it really is for moms to take off the mom-hat just long enough to get re-fueled.

So, if you fall into any one of the camps mentioned above: feeling guilty, being too busy, or not realizing the importance, may I implore you to hear me right now?
*For "feeling guilty" and "too busy", I hereby give you permission to let go of your feelings of obligation. Please consider yourself FREE to get away and be REAL with your friends.
*For "not realizing", I'm telling you now - it is important for you to have that time away, to deepen friendships and be encouraged. So often you feel like something isn't worthwhile if it doesn't directly benefit your family, I know. Trust me, friend, your time away will directly benefit your family. You will come back to them a better woman and a better mom.

Here's to a world full of better moms!

What Do You Need?

I Am NOT Perfect

I've been working on a talk I'll be giving for a MOPS group this Friday. The talk is inspired by the devotion I wrote for the new NIV Mom's Devotional Bible, and has the same title: I Will NEVER be that Perfect!
Thinking about how NOT perfect I am gave me the idea to create this post. Not that I need to prove my imperfection. But I thought it would be fun to display it. *wink*

First, I'm sure you've seen the beautiful pictures of food perfect some women have posted, which highlight their culinary skills. You know - those pictures that look so lovely you can almost taste how wonderful the food is?
Well, here's my NOT perfect picture:

I grilled the pork chops and it was raining outside, so I didn't keep a very close eye on them - and they got burned. (The one pictured wasn't the worst!) I told my family it was a good thing they were thick pork chops, because it would be easy to cut off the burnt parts. They tasted great. Just didn't look very good.
If you look closely at the bread, you can see the top portion is a little gooey. The bread didn't bake all the way through. And to be honest, I knew it wasn't completely done when I took it out of the oven. But I didn't have time to wait any longer...So I just told my family to not eat that part. Problem solved! I may not be perfect, but that isn't the end of the world.

OK. On to other NOT perfect examples.
I'm sure you've seen pictures of interior decoration. Perfect Some people do a lovely job putting together wall art and other displays and then post their pictures on the internet for all the world to see. So here, for your viewing pleasure, is the wall of my guest room:

Oh, I have finally purchased some decorations to enhance that plain white wall. But they are currently sitting in bags in the corner of the room.

I am lacking in confidence for how to hang them. And I am lacking in time and energy to do anything about my missing confidence. So, for now - the decorations remain in bags.
The good news is, a plain white wall does not seem to impede the ability of guests to rest well in the bed beneath the plain-ness.

And, now, let's take a look outside.
Ever seen those beautiful pictures of someone's amazing landscaping?
Well, I am NOT perfect, and at my house there is no amazing landscaping. We have a couple areas which are nice, but nothing amazing.
And the walkway to my front door (which we don't use, anyway...) looks like this:

Kinda over-grown, pretty much un-kept, and way too green. But people feel welcome when they come over, anyway. And that's really what matters.

I hope you have enjoyed this tour of my NOT perfect-ness. Maybe you even had a laugh, or two?
But my greater desire is for you to believe and embrace the truth that we do NOT need to be perfect. And maybe, just maybe, we can learn to be comfortable enough with our imperfections that we're able to be who we are - unashamed.

Now that would be a beautiful thing!

Lessons From the Edge

Unconditional love.

Those are the last words I heard her speak.

And those are the words I witnessed her living out every day.

Gladys was my favorite at Edgewood.
And when I say "favorite", I don't mean one of my favorites.
I mean favorite. In every sense of the word.
As in, there is no one more special to me at Edgewood than her.

Last Friday morning, Gladys went to be with Jesus - where she'd been longing to be.
I am so happy for her! And so sad for those of us who are still waiting.
Because we will all miss her deeply.

I remember the first time I talked with Gladys.
It was my first glimpse at her life of unconditional love.
I was eating lunch at Gladys' table shortly after I started working at Edgewood and asked about her family. When she told me about her son, I remember tears flowing down her cheeks as she recalled the time he said to her, "Mom, thanks for never giving up on me."
I have often thought of that moment when I'm "in the middle" of something with my boys, and I listen to her encouragement. Don't give up on them.

I remember the story she told about the time her granddaughter mentioned that she'd put her husband "in the doghouse". And with a passion all her own, Gladys said, "I told her, 'You go get him out of that doghouse. You should never put your husband there. You LOVE him!'"
Gladys was married to her precious husband for 73 years. She knew what she was saying!

And I will never forget the moments I, myself, was the recipient of Gladys' unconditional love.
Somehow she always knew when I needed encouragement.
I am certain it's because she listened to God so well!
I could be having a rough day, or might be feeling discouraged about something, and then I'd see Gladys and her uncomparable smiling face. Without exception, she had an uplifting, heart-soothing word for me. I always left my interactions with Gladys feeling loved, encouraged, and precious. That's just the effect she had on people.
So it makes perfect sense to me that when I visited Gladys in her dying days, the words she kept repeating were, "Unconditional love. Unconditional love. Unconditional love."
Because that's what she experienced from God, and that's the way she lived.

Loosening My Grip

It isn't quite time to "let go", but I think I need to start loosening my grip.

There are just a few weeks left in Elizabeth's junior year of high school. Next year at this time we'll be in the midst of graduation plans. *yikes!* And soon after, my baby girl will be headed off to college, and then - if she's anything like me - she'll never really "live at home" again.
*mix of excited-for-her-but-sad-for-me feelings in my tummy*

So last Friday I came to a realization when Elizabeth told me about plans she'd made with friends. They were all going to meet at a local park and hang out for the evening. Ride bikes, play on the swings, talk - just doing things teenagers like to do.
That was all fine with me, until she mentioned they were planning to meet about 5 or 5:30, and I said, "What about eating dinner?" Elizabeth said she would grab a snack "or something" before she left. And that's when my control issues flared.
I immediately thought, You can't just grab something and go. You need to be here for dinner. We need to eat together as a family. Doesn't all the latest research point to how important it is for families to eat dinner together? We have to do things right. We must eat together.

Because it's important to do what the researchers say is important, right?
I mean, if I let her go hang out with her friends instead of staying home to eat with her family, I might be viewed as an unloving mom who doesn't care about the well-being of her daughter. Right?
And I certainly don't want to be viewed that way. Because I do love my daughter. And I am concerned about her well-being.

But then something happened.
I asked myself, Why?
Why do I think it would be better for Elizabeth to stay home and eat dinner with us, than for her to go spend time with her friends? Because I'm concerned about what other people would think of me? Because I'm afraid of letting her go???
That's when the reality hit me about her moving on in the near future. And I realized letting her go hang out with her friends didn't mean I was "letting her go", but that I was loosening my grip.
My baby girl is growing up, and she will leave the nest one day. I realize I can't change that fact. And, honestly, I don't want to. Rather, I want my baby girl to grow into the young woman God has created her to be. To live for Him and honor Him as a mature, independent adult.

So, with the knowledge that she would be back in a few short hours, I sent her off to be with her friends. And when she got home and told me about all the fun they'd had together, I was so glad I'd loosened my grip. She would have been totally bored if I'd made her stay home. *wink*

Chosen