Trusting HIS Plan

TLC at GLC

My husband is participating in a fitness competition.
And he is simultaneously battling some kind of sickness.
Which, doesn't bode well for his performance.
Which, is leaving him pretty discouraged.
So, the other day he asked me, "Will you still love me even if I don't make it to Regionals?" I said, "Of course I will." And then I thought to take it a step further. I said, "Brian, I'll still love you even if you stop working out and get all flabby and stuff." I wanted to remind my husband that my love for him does not depend upon his athletic physique or performance, nor upon any other kind of condition or performance.
I love him, because I promised both him and God that I would - some 22 1/2 years ago!

So, all these thoughts about love and "even if" got me thinking about some of the love I see expressed at GLC. I see "children" older than me visiting and doting on moms who can no longer speak to them. I see other "children" holding the hand that once held their's, to guide the one who once guided them. I see a wife tending to the needs of her unable-to-communicate-much husband - who once vowed to provide, protect, and care for her.
I look at these examples of tender, sacrificial love and I realize - back in the day, these folks probably couldn't imagine this is where they'd be "some day."
Yet, here they are.
Still loving.

They all inspire me.

Are you committed to loving the people in your life, "even if"?
Do they have confidence of your unconditional love?

While You Were Sleeping

Ahhhh, that was such a good movie!

BUT, I am not writing about cinema on the blog today.
Just thought it would be fun to borrow the title for my post. *wink*

Anyway, Tuesday night I had a little fun with Matthew.
Brian and I were on our way to our room and noticed Matthew laying on his bed - with the door open, the light on, and his earbuds in. It looked like he was asleep, but we weren't sure. I called his name, popped the earbuds out, and called his name again.
No response.
Brian got a big smile on his face and asked, "What should we do to him???" This, from the guy who was known to torment his little brother when he "woke up" at night to go potty - by constantly turning him in the direction opposite the bathroom.
Yeah. I didn't have any form of torture in mind for our sleeping boy.
Instead, I leaned over his nearly-as-long-as-mine-body and started singing "You Are My Sunshine."
Just like I used to when he was a little guy.
And when the song ended, I leaned over a little bit more and kissed his almost-sixteen-year-old-cheek.
*Be still, my momma's heart.*
Then, with a smile on my face and in my heart I turned off his light, spun around to see my husband's grinning face, and went to bed myself.

HE is Working All Things for Good

TLC at GLC

When you work with people who are accustomed to being forgetful, who frequently doubt their ability to accomplish tasks, and whose self-esteem is sometimes diminishing - there is almost nothing better than seeing them succeed.

Even at little things.

And that's something I've been able to do at GLC.
See people succeed.
Over the past couple of weeks, I have had several opportunities to work on jigsaw puzzles with different residents. Some have approached the task saying they're no good at puzzles. Others love doing puzzles but realize their minds "aren't what they used to be," and - therefore - think they won't be able to help much.
Ahhhh, but I am not so easily deterred!
Besides, puzzles have a sort of magnetic affect on me. I am drawn to them, and will jump at the chance to work on one with somebody.
Anyway, I have experienced the special challenge of convincing people who are doubting themselves that they really can succeed at a task. Sometimes I have to nearly sit on my hands to keep them from grabbing puzzle pieces and putting them together, but in the process I am seeing residents delight in getting a job done. We look at the open spaces, discuss what the missing piece probably looks like, then search the table until we find that piece. Always, I let the resident pick up the piece and put it in place. And, always, there is a proud smile on their face when the piece fits.
During the time we're sitting at the table looking for puzzle pieces, we also spend time talking. About today and "yesterday." About life philosophies. About lunch. About whatever comes to mind. (Sometimes repeatedly. *wink*) And that's a joy.
But the greatest joy by far, is the pleasure I see on the residents' faces with each piece they snap into place, and the little celebration we have when the project is completed.

How can you build somebody's confidence by setting them up for success today?

Dear Mother of Young Children

I saw you at the dentist's office today. Heard you telling your son to be quiet. You thought he was making too much noise by playing in the corner. Playing, that is, with the toy which was put there to help him pass the time while he waited for sister to get her check-up.
Just wanted you to know - the noise didn't bother me. And I don't think anyone else in the waiting room noticed it much, either. Truthfully, I'm pretty sure we all understood he would have rather been somewhere else, and was simply trying to occupy his time. None of us were thinking your son was too noisy, or that you're a bad mom.

I recall seeing you at the airport once. Remember the time your children - I think there were three of them - were holding onto the floor-to-ceiling pole and chasing each other around it?
Of course, you remember.
You were mortified by their behavior.
You told them to sit down and be still.
Told them to, Behave!
I wish I would have said this at the time, and I'm hoping somehow you'll see these words now: It's OK. Your children weren't bothering anyone by being children. In fact, I was pretty impressed that they were sticking so close to you! And, honestly? I thought their game was kinda cute.

I don't go out to eat very often, but I now I've seen you a few times at a restaurant. You have that certain look of nervousness, and often don't really seem to be enjoying yourself. Rather, you appear to be quite preoccupied with trying to keep your child quiet, and focused on the table in front of her.
I have to tell you, I don't mind when your daughter reaches over the booth and touches my head. She's just exploring. No harm done.
Oh, and when you notice me repeatedly peering in your direction, please know I am simply admiring your precious little guy. He's adorable and I can't get enough of those cheeks!

By the way, I didn't see you at the grocery store yesterday. But I heard you.
At least, I heard where you must have been.
That is, I heard your toddler screaming.
And I can only imagine how you must have been scurrying trying to quiet him down. Because you felt humiliated by the noise, and the appearance that you couldn't contain your child.
Can I just say, no one was more bothered by the outburst than you? Quite frankly, all the other moms in the store were just glad it wasn't our kid who was crying.

My point in writing this letter, Mother of Young Children, is to let you know the noises, the outbursts, and the carrying on aren't as bad as you think. Consider who's watching: moms like you are in the same boat and feel your pain; moms like me have been where you are and empathize with each moment; and anyone who is judging you probably never had children and doesn't have a clue. (Or they haven't had children yet, and will change their tune when the time comes.)
So, please, accept this offer of grace from me to you. Let it rest in your soul until you are convinced you're OK, even when your child is being noisy. And then, extend the grace to your little ones.
Cause they need it too!

Much love,

Bill Gates Wants to Give Me $5 Million USD

Seriously.
I have the email to prove it!
Though I don't understand why it was delivered to my Junk E-mail folder.

The thing is, while I would love to have $5 million given to me (Can think of soooooo many good things to do with it!) I really don't need it. I have all I'll ever need in Jesus.
HE is enough for me.
No.
HE is more than enough!
The Son of God left the glory of heaven to come to earth.
He lived a sinless life, yet died a criminal's death.
All so we could be forgiven.
Then God raised Him from the dead. So we could have new life.
So we could be restored to a right relationship with God. Simply by confessing our sin, believing in Jesus' atoning death and resurrection, and receiving His gift of salvation.
Yeah.
With His blood, Jesus bought new and eternal life for me. For all of us who will accept it.
Because of what He did, we can know God. We have hope for today and all our tomorrows. We have security through the storms of life. We once were lost, but now we're found.

And there is NO amount of money that can do what HE DID.
Have you accepted HIS offer?

Come Retreat with Me

Besides spending time alone with my loving Savior, one of my favorite things to do is to encourage other women to pursue His faithful embrace.

That's why I am hosting a Women's Listening Retreat in October. With the help of a few wonderful friends, I am organizing a 24-hour period for 20 women to come away and experience the loving touch and gracious words of their Savior. I look forward to sharing from God's Word, but even more - I am excited about giving women space to just listen.to.Him.

If this kind of retreat sounds like something your heart needs, please visit my website for more information and to register.

HE Hears

On Sick Leave

Sooooo, there's this cold virus in my body which is attempting to kick my butt.
(I may have overdone it yesterday by traveling to Belmont to speak for a MOPS group. But God's Spirit spoke to struggling mommas and it was totally worth it!)

Anyway, in the interest of getting better all my spare minutes for the next little while are going to be spent resting - not planning and writing blog posts.
Lord willing, I hope to be back Monday with a video devotion.

May grace and peace be yours in abundance!

Four Arms

Recently our conversation at the dinner table turned to stem cells - and how they can be used in various ways to treat diseases and provide therapy. It must have been a topic in science class that day, as one of the boys mentioned that some researchers had been able to reprogram adult cells to revert to stem cells in living mice. But noted that they haven't been able to fully control the process just yet.
Without missing a beat, the other son contributed, "Yeah. And that's too bad. Cuz the mouse has five legs now." And he chuckled at his wise crack.
Also without missing a beat, I responded saying, "That's no big deal. I have four arms!"
When they looked at me with eyes that said, Yeah, mom. Whatever, I quickly pushed my sleeves up and presented my forearms.

Their eyes rolled and their chuckling stopped immediately. But I sure got a good laugh out of it.

Fore-arms. Four arms? Get it????

Ahhhh, I crack myself up!

I'm Going to Keep Praying

So, I went a little longer than usual today. Praying and trusting it will be worth your time.
I'm thinking it'd be great if someone invited me to share this topic at a women's retreat or other event.
Cuz I'd really love to dig into it more!

TLC at GLC

I had the most delightful conversation with a charming man at GLC on Monday.
Well, really, it was about a thirty to forty-five-second conversation which we had anywhere from 15 to 20 times. And it just kept getting more delightful with each repeat.

To be honest, things started out slowly and there was a time when I wondered if I'd be better off just giving up attempting to talk to this man. But once we got past trying to identify his interests, and discovered that he had gone to a Catholic school (which he really liked) in Lansing, we were on a roll. I was able to pinpoint two Catholic schools which he thought *might* have been where he attended. But he wasn't sure. After a few minutes the name of another one seemed to slip out of his mouth and when I repeated it - he was sure that was the school he had enjoyed for so many years.
From there, we were trying to figure out the name of the street upon which he had grown up. And, sure enough, a short time later he said the name of a street which I know to be near his school. He determined that street was the location of his childhood home.

And, so, our conversation began:
Him telling me the name of the school he attended and liked a lot, and the name of the street upon which he grew up. (With me reminding him of the street name as necessary.)
Me commenting that the street was very close to the school, and asking if he walked to school.
Him confirming that, yes, he did walk to school every day. And liked it. Then asking me the name of the street I lived on in Lansing.
Me, answering.
Him repeating it. "Yes. Clemens."
And, somehow, that always got us back to talking about the school he liked so much.

Truthfully, I do not know how long the two of us sat together repeating that conversation. But I do know every second of it was time well-spent. When I first sat down with this man, he seemed a bit unsure of me. But by the time I had to leave he was smiling ear-to-ear, shaking my hand, and thanking me for visiting. And, while I don't know if he'll remember me the next time we see each other, at least now I know how to get him engaged in a conversation.

Is there someone with whom you have been having trouble communicating? My hope is this little story will give you the inspiration to persevere with TLC until you encounter a break-through.

I Need Wisdom

Help!

Something, or someone, has robbed me of all kinds of wisdom.

Really.
Twenty-seven years ago when I was a senior in high school, I knew SO MUCH.
As in, I was even smarter than my parents. (OH, they knew nothing!)
I knew what a senior in high school should be able to do.
I knew what was reasonable (and UN-reasonable) for a parent to ask of an almost-adult.
I could list off rationalizations for why one ought to be able to go here (or there), to do this (or that) - regardless of what parental units thought was wise. (Did I mention, they knew nothing? From what I could tell, I figured they had never even been teenagers!)
Fortunately, I was also a fairly good liar. And since I earned high grades and had a goody-goody reputation, I could make my way around the ridiculous restrictions they put upon me. It was a good thing, too. After all, they knew nothing and how else was I going to make it through my senior year?

So anyway, everything was favorable back when I knew it all.

But, alas, I have a senior in high school and it is becoming very clear to me that now he is the one who knows everything. As in - he rolls his eyes, mutters under his breath, and makes smart remarks just like I did when I was so brilliant.
The kicker of it is, now that I have twenty-seven more years life experience under my belt I figured I must have gotten wiser. But here my senior is - demonstrating his superior judgment - so assured he knows more than me. Just like I felt about my parents all those years ago.
So I'm doing the only thing I know to do. Yep. I'm calling on my Father to help me navigate this road and continue to raise this man-child.
Cuz there is no way I can do this without Him.

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.

~James 1:5

Preach It

I've mentioned, haven't I, that I absolutely LOVE being in Precepts and studying the book of Acts inductively. That is, God is speaking to my heart, encouraging my faith, and convicting my spirit through this study. And I am delighted by His work.

Therefore, I feel compelled to share about our study again. About what I learned this past week, and how God continues to move.
I have spent the past seven days studying Acts 8. (This is the chapter in which the persecution of the church begins, and a whole lotta preaching about Jesus takes place.) And, let me tell you - in addition to holding the universe together in perfect balance, and attending to all the details in your life - God has spent the past seven days speaking to me through His Spirit, about speaking of His Son.
That is, I read about the church being persecuted and scattered - yet continuing to preach Jesus.
I studied the details of Philip traveling to Samaria and proclaiming Christ to the crowds.
Then Peter and John came along to invite the Holy Spirit to come upon the new believers, and as they went back to Jerusalem they preached the gospel in Samaritan villages.
And then an angel of the Lord sent Philip to preach Jesus to an Ethiopian eunuch.
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!
Everyone was talking about Jesus.
And lots of people were being saved.

Then came the question: Am I preaching Jesus?

In answer to that question, I could not deny the sinking feeling in my heart.
While I freely share that I am a woman of faith, though I live every day to be the hands, feet, and heart of Jesus to the people with whom I cross paths, albeit I'll pray with and for anyone at anytime, and even though I encourage individuals to trust God with their struggles daily, I could not name the last time I shared the gospel with anyone. (Well, except for in Sunday School. But I'm not counting those instances - since sharing the gospel is typically "on the schedule.")

I imagine you've heard this quote:

I fully agree with the heart of the statement - that our every action should exemplify Jesus. But my spirit was convicted through the study this week that the gospel needs to come forth from my mouth, not just from my actions. It is highly unlikely that a person on the receiving end of my kindness is going to wake up the next morning saying, "Hey, I bet that lady was nice to me because Jesus Christ died to pay the price for my sins, that He was buried and raised again to give me eternal life, and I can experience that life if I will just receive the gift of salvation He offers."

Know What I mean?

I intend to continue living so people will be lifted up and pointed to Jesus by what I do. But I want to take it further. I am asking God to fill me with His Spirit and give me courage and boldness to preach Jesus everywhere I go.

Overheard at the Dinner Table

Honestly, I am not sure how "incest" became the topic of conversation between my boys.

(I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. *ahem*)

Nonetheless, last week Josh and Matthew were arguing with each other about the correct usage of the word. Essentially, they were debating whether "incest" is a noun or a verb. One said, "You would say they are 'engaging in incest.'" And the other retorted, "No! You'd say, 'Do you want to incest?'"
Brian stepped in to put an end to the dispute and said, "I think 'engaging in incest' is appropriate."

When the boys' eyes got HUGE and the three of us started laughing hysterically, Brian realized his words didn't come out the way he'd intended.

What Do YOU Want Me To Do?

TLC at GLC

I had the very fun opportunity yesterday to sing at GLC.
My boss plays the piano, so we teamed up to provide a musical treat.
That is, we were hopeful it would be a treat. *wink*

We did several songs from yesteryear which the residents knew, and to which they could sing along. The songs were interspersed with stories, jokes, laughter, and some silliness - all with the goal of bringing joy to the listeners. We ended our program by singing a hand full of classic hymns.
Singing the hymns gave me opportunity to testify to God's love, and His care for us in our every-day struggles and trials. I know there are mixed backgrounds of faith in the men and women at GLC - from pastor's wives, to no religious interest at all - and I count it a privilege whenever I get to share my belief in any form. So I was particularly happy that we sang these songs of faith.

But it got better.

When we were finished with the music I saw someone waving her arm in the air. This woman has significant memory impairments, which affect her communication and social interactions. She is very troubled, and is frequently in need of help - somebody to take her here, or there; assistance in sitting up; answers to questions which she's asked a hundred times, already. So as I approached her, I was expecting to hear a request for some such assistance.
But that request never came.

Instead, she simply asked, "Will you pray for me?"

If you know me at all, you know my heart leaped at the opportunity.
I took her hands in mine and cried out to God on her behalf. Confident that HE was listening. Certain that HE sees her. Assured that HE will meet her needs.
And I will continue to pray for her - in and out of her presence.
Because there is power in the Name of JESUS.

To whom can you show TLC today, by praying for them?

What She Said

Father,
My son is growing and becoming more independent. He likes to figure things out for himself. He doesn't always think things through and becomes frustrated when his plans fall apart. It's hard for him to slow down and take advice before he jumps into a new project. He tries to set his own goals and determine the road to achieve them, ignoring those who have more experience to share. His resistance to input and guidance is creating tension at home. He's hindering his success by refusing the help that's offered. He's having to learn life lessons the hard way, bringing unnecessary struggles and stress into his life. Give my son the humility to receive instruction and admit that he doesn't know everything. Show him that parents and teachers are on his side. Help him to see that accepting help is not a sign of immaturity or weakness - it takes wisdom and strength to face our limitations. Fill him with a quiet spirit that can be still and listen. May he gain understanding so that he can walk the path of life without stumbling...
From "When He Needs Good Advice" (p.59)
A Mom's Prayers for Her Son by Rob and Joanna Tiegen

I know Joanna Tiegen.
We've been friends since our girls were cabin mates at summer camp many years ago.
We've spent time together.
Shared the ups and downs of mothering.
Encouraged each other in both writing and speaking endeavors.
Disclosed struggles, and prayed for one another.
But I never knew she had a window to my heart (or a camera in my home!) until I read the above excerpt from her book the other night.
I mean, seriously! This is the stuff of the Hossink household of late.
Her words describe my boys!!!
And the prayer in which she lead me (I only quoted a portion of it above) echoed my heart's desire for these precious (albeit, at times, very frustrating) boys of mine.

Here at home, I have a front-row seat to the struggle of raising teen boys. Every day I have opportunities to see them try and succeed, or try and fall. And my mother-heart falls with them - especially on the days when their fall is because they refused good advice. BUT, I have a Father in heaven who knows what these boys need, who sees each step they take and knows what each outcome will be. I have a Father in heaven who listens to my prayers for my boys, and who has the grace, power, wisdom, and mercy to gently lead them down their roads to adulthood.
Oh, how thankful I am that HE listens. And cares. And responds!

HE Touched My Heart

He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young.

Isaiah 40:11

Lord, thank You for this Truth and the image which goes with it.
Thank You for holding me; for carrying me close to Your heart.
There is nowhere else I would rather be!

A Surrogate Mother

I saw my girl!

And I heard her voice!

Saturday afternoon, Brian and I had a Skype date with Elizabeth. And it was such a delight to see and hear her. We got to see her room, and the home where she's living in Mexico. Got to briefly meet her host parents. And we heard all about life in Santiago de Queretaro.
But, for the life of me, I was having a hard time concentrating on the things Elizabeth was saying.
Because she was clearing her throat frequently.
And she was sniffling.
I thought, Is she sick? Is she crying? Why would she be crying?
And I started asking if she'd found the vitamins she wanted to buy.
I checked on her fruits/veggies intake.
Asked about her sleep habits. Was she getting enough? (Because I know lack of sleep has health consequences. But with my girl, lack of sleep can also lead to weepy-ness.)
I realized this beautiful young woman - who has done very well acclimating to a new culture, new language, and new way of life - is very capable of making the necessary choices for her health and well-being. But inside, I started going all Over-protective-mother and just wanted to jump through the computer screen and tuck my girl into bed for an afternoon nap, or something.
Anything to feel like I was taking care of my girl.
Then, as if on cue, Elizabeth's Mexico-mom stepped into her bedroom and handed her a glass of cantaloupe water.
Unbidden, and unexpected.
A simple act of courtesy to show love and care for my daughter.

And I silently thanked God for providing another mother to watch over my daughter while she and I are so far apart.

On Prayer and Grocery Lists

TLC at GLC

Last Sunday in church, the pastor closed his sermon by reminding us about Matthew 25:31-40, which reads in part:

34 “Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

37 “Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’

40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

The pastor's point of application gave me pause to think of how I might do something for Jesus this week, by doing something "for the least of these brothers and sisters of [His]." Of course, my mind quickly went to GLC and the precious brothers and sisters who call it 'home.' Because God gives me opportunities to do something for Him every day I'm there.
Let's see.
This week I filed His nails when they were too long. I painted them when the previous manicure was chipping off. I sang with Him when His nerves were upset. I laughed with Him when He wanted to be silly. And I held His hand when He needed comforting.

It is an absolute joy to love and serve Jesus by pouring TLC onto the men and women at GLC!

It's So Tempting

I've been thinking about my tasks around the house recently.

Thinking, that is, of how I might be able to get out of them.

For instance:
*I could skip shopping for groceries. And when one of the boys asks why I didn't refill the cupboards and refrigerator, I could explain that I didn't have time. Because I had to go to work.
*I could come home from work and lay down for a nap. When one of the boys asks when I'm going to make dinner, I could say I'll do it later. And when they ask me in another half hour when I'm going to make dinner, I'll reiterate that I'll get to it. Again, when they ask at the end of the day - just as I'm about to go to bed - I could apologize and say I forgot. That I'll do it the next day.
*Then there's laundry. I've been thinking I could simply not do it. Maybe go for a walk or read a book, instead. When one of the boys comes to me in the morning, distressed because they've no clean clothes to wear, I could smile sheepishly and say, "Oh. I got distracted and forgot all about the laundry."

Yeah. That's what I've been thinking.
I wonder if it would work.
I mean, I think it should.
Cuz those are the same excuses my boys have been giving me for the past I-can't-remember-how-long. *ahem*

Just keepin' it real here.

Think About This for a Minute

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

~Acts 4:13

Are you familiar with the apostle, Peter, and the amount of preaching and teaching he did?
Have you read his sermons and witnessed his zeal for the Lord? (Acts 1:15-22, 2:14-40, 3:12-26, 4:8-12)
Ever admired his unshakable faith, as he stood before the rulers and respectfully defied their threats? (Acts 4:19, 5:29)

Do you remember from whence he came???

The unschooled, ordinary guy who put his foot in his mouth more than once, fell asleep during prayer twice, denied his Savior thrice, and failed the faith test over and again.
Yeah. That Peter.

And, yet, the rulers and leaders in Acts were astonished by his courage. Oh, what an inspiration it was yesterday - while watching the video during our Precepts class - to hear Kay Arthur suggest that if we're feeling less than adequate, what we need to do is spend more time with Jesus.

Eavesdropping with My Eyes

I wasn't being sneaky.
Wasn't looking for anything I wasn't meant to see.
Honest!
This thing I saw was left out in plain sight on the kitchen counter and I just happened to read it when I was cleaning.
And it was so good, I picked up the whole stack and read them all.
The reading material in question is a stack of notes which all had "Josh" on them.
And when I glanced over a few words on the first note, I remembered my son telling me about a certain class project. That is, one of his teachers had assigned students with writing a note to everyone else in the class. Each note was intended to tell the reader what qualities and personal attributes the writer admired in the reader. So, naturally, when it came to notes containing positive things about my kid?
I couldn't stop by reading just one!

*I found out that Josh is perceived as "quiet" by a few people.
*Lots of students like his humor.
*Apparently he shares freely about his love of fishing during class, and a number of people admire him for his dedication.
*One girl said she watches all of his fishing videos on Youtube. Even though she doesn't fish.
*Several classmates commented on Josh's caring demeanor, and thanked him for being easy to talk to.
*And another girl gushed about his nice hair.
None of these revelations came as a big surprise to me.
I mean, Josh is a likable guy.
I already knew that.
But a few of his classmates talked about something of which I had no previous knowledge. Apparently Josh was in charge of leading a discussion during class one day, but wasn't there for some reason. In his absence, he sent discussion questions to school with another student so the class could carry on without him. And his classmates thought that was a good idea.
Ummmmm. So does his mom!
How about that? My son - who manages to leave all sorts of tasks forgotten or undone around the house (such that his mother wonders how he'll ever make it on his own) - had the foresight and responsibility to get the job done even when he wasn't there.
Nice.
I'm so glad I saw those notes sitting on the counter Josh left those notes sitting on the counter where he knew I'd see them. *smile*
***************************************************************************************************
Oh, the irony. Within eighteen hours of the time I wrote this post, the subject of it nearly got on my last nerve with a string of shirking-off-responsibility behaviors. And normal teenage-boy-attitude.
Ahhhh, the son I know and love.
*wink*

HIS Power

TLC at GLC

OK, so this week at work, I wanted to cry.

Honestly.

We had a staff meeting early on, at which time I learned a little more about Alzheimer's disease. It's cause and progression, and the ways it manifests in a person's life. And when I saw it playing out before my eyes the next day, I simply wanted to cry.

I sat at the head of the table calling Bingo in the usual way. "B, twelve." *pause* "B, one-two." But I found the need to wait until I called the next number to be longer than I'm used to. Because the dear woman to my left took a long time to look over the numbers on her card. And the dear woman on my right took a long time, too. Even though my co-worker was right there with her, helping with the search. And reminding her each time she had a number that she should place a chip over it.
That cognitive loss and the inability to quickly identify numbers - I learned Tuesday - is one of the assaults of dementia.
But not everyone was so slow. And one of the ladies who was quick to place her chips wasted no time in hollering at my sweet friend when she was going too slow.
Oh, the heart break of seeing my friend deflate at each scolding.
The loss of self-control and social graces is another dementia casualty which I discovered at the staff meeting.
I sat at the Bingo table calling numbers slowly and deliberately, as I watched grown adults who -through no fault of their own - struggled to comprehend and find numbers, and toiled to contain their angst. I was alternately holding back tears, and asking God, Why? Why is such a terrible disease allowed to steal life???
Then it was as if HE said to me, Yours is not to know the reasons why. Yours is simply to love these people. And I understood. God has placed plenty of smart people in the medical field to research and seek a cure for this disease. And HE has placed me at GLC to love on those who suffer with it until that time comes.

So, when Miss Speedy became anxious, I told her it was OK - that we had time enough to wait.
And when the ladies to my right and left found and covered a number, I congratulated them on the fine job they were doing.
At the end of the game, we exchanged hugs and kisses and "I love you"s.  And, although no visible signs of memory or social improvement were made, the smiles on everyone's faces gave a clear indication that hearts were happy.

Mission accomplished.
*****************************************************************************************
Are there people in your life who struggle to meet the expectations of others around them?
How can you respond in ways which will build them up?

What Am I Worth?

I enjoy many things at the beginning of a new year.

Doing taxes is NOT one of them. *ahem*

And because my husband likes to be on top of them (i.e. As soon as tax documents start coming in the mail, he's entering information into the computer.) he asks for my ministry tax information early.
So, guess what I was doing Sunday evening.

*insert agonizing groan*

I try to keep good records, and I use the previous year's worksheets as a reference - so the process, itself, isn't too big of a deal. The part I don't like is the inevitable battle which takes place in my heart and mind over the question, What am I worth?
Because the course of doing taxes requires that I add up my income and expenses.
And once that is done, it's pretty easy to do the math to answer the question, How much did I make?
Which translates to, What was my contribution to the family?
Which unnecessarily (yet persistently) leads to, What am I worth?
And the reason I so dislike answering that question while preparing my taxes is because, Sunday night the answer would have been, "Pretty close to nothing."

Now, I've been through this cycle before. Jesus has picked me up in previous tax-years when answering those questions brought me low. I know my worth comes from Christ, alone. And nothing is greater than the price of HIS life, which He was willing to pay for me.
But Sunday evening as I was crunching numbers, HE showed me something new. That is, while my income and expenses were almost the same amount, nearly half of my "expenses" were in the category of "Charitable Giving". And 85% of that category went to the support of my little Compassion girl in Ecuador. (I remember when I decided to become a Compassion sponsor those many years ago telling God, I'm going to trust You to provide for this sponsorship through my speaking, and book sales.)
As I looked at the numbers Sunday night, tempted to evaluate myself as not being worth much, God's Spirit prompted me to ask a different question.

How faithful is God?

Looking at the numbers, the answer was so easy to see: HE provided precisely what was necessary to meet my needs (and those of my sweet Noemi).
So, how faithful is God???

100%.

It Makes Sense

TLC at GLC

OK. I know you know what TLC means. Right?

Tender loving care.

Please tell me you knew that.

In this case (and every Friday from now until, um, otherwise noted) GLC means
Grandhaven Living Center.

As I see it, my new role in life - at least for the hours I'm clocked in at work - is to bring TLC to the folks living at GLC.
So there we have it. TLC at GLC. My new Friday series.
I pray you'll enjoy it, and - more importantly - that you'll be encouraged and inspired to apply some TLC to your little corner of the world. *smile*

*This week at work I told one lady where I live about a dozen times. That is, because she asked me that question as many times. In a matter of probably 10 minutes.
*On another occasion I showed a lady how to dip a paintbrush into water and then swirl it in watercolors so she could paint a picture. Also showed her how to put the paintbrush on the paper to put color there. (Repeated regularly for the duration of the time the group was painting.)
*While playing the GLC version of Uno, I helped someone chose which card to play. By reminding her (for the umpteenth time) that she needed to follow suit or number.
Yes. I repeated myself a lot this week.
Because I spent most of my time on the memory care side of campus.
Can I just tell you? I work with a wonderful team of people at GLC. When I am not repeating myself to one resident or another, I often find myself watching various team members doing the same thing. That is, they're answering repetitive questions, redirecting wandering souls, singing the same ol' songs again (Honestly, that part never gets "old" for me.), and listening to a story for the gazillionth time.
And the part of it which delights my heart, is seeing my team members doing all this repetitive behavior so kindly. We know folks are going to ask the same questions over and over. We are well aware they love singing the same songs today as they did yesterday. (Or five minutes ago!) We expect to hear S tell about this story, and J to talk about that one.
It's what they do.
So we answer the questions, sing the songs, and listen to the stories - with grace and love.
It's what we do.
And it's what makes the difference between joy and frustration at GLC.
Simply put: we know what to expect, and we know the best way to respond is with grace and love.

So I got to thinking... What if we (That is, you and me.) employed this same principle in our homes? When the toddler asks, "Why?" for the fiftieth time; when the pre-schooler can't find her shoes again(!); when the tween forgets to use deodorant again(!); when the teen comments for the sixth time today that he's tired of school; when the husband goes another day without making the bed; when things happen just as we have learned they will - what if we responded with grace and love?

Something to think about! *smile*

Inside Sadness

I've never hidden that I'm a little behind the times, have I?
Like in the fact that I am still using a basic phone. Hey, it still works just as well as the day I got it. Three and a half years ago. Although, I think I want to get a smart phone in the next few months.
I mean, really? I just want a camera. But who buys cameras anymore?

Ahhh, I digress.

Anyway, about being behind the times - I finally saw the movie Inside Out this weekend.
To be fair, we did try to see it in the movie theaters months ago.
Twice, in fact. But both times when we got there the showing had been sold out.
Oh, I had tried to get the family out the door early.
"Relax, Mom," they said.
"We have plenty of time," they said.
"Don't be in such a rush," they said.
"Sorry, that show is all sold out," the gal at the ticket counter said.
"Told you so!!!!" I wanted to say. (Someone must have been keeping Anger away from my control panel in order to keep me quiet. *ahem*)

So, this weekend, we finally saw it. And although the movie wasn't what I had expected - I loved it.
Because it allowed me to think about feelings.
Was it just me? Or did other people who've seen Inside Out also feel exhausted when Joy was running around trying to keep everything "happy?" I mean, I'm all for being happy and having a good time. But that character had me gasping for breaths with the way she was racing here and there, trying to keep Sadness from touching anything.
And as the movie played on, and Riley kept going deeper and deeper into her pit of despair, I just wanted to jump into the scene and hug her. Invite her to cry on my shoulder. Let her know she was loved. That the darkness wouldn't overwhelm her. That it was OK to miss her old home, yet encourage her that her new home would be good, too.

I was so glad that's where the story line ended up going.

Because as one who has struggled with feelings of despair, I know. Simply having someone say, "Cheer up!" "It isn't that bad!" "Everyone has tough times." "This, too, shall pass," does nothing to help.
Forgive me, Joy, for not receiving your remarks the way they're likely intended, but when you're in the bottom of a pit - words are pretty meaningless.
I remember in those days, wishing someone would just put an arm around me and tell me it was OK to feel sad, frustrated, upset, even lost. Platitudes weren't what I needed. I so desperately wanted to know that I was still loved - even when I wasn't feeling lovely. (Not that such gestures would have kept me from needing anti-depressants, but I sure would've felt less lonely.)
So I was delighted at the end of the movie to see memories touched by all of Riley's emotions. I was thankful to see an acknowledgement on the screen that sadness and hard times can be mixed in with joy - that they aren't mutually exclusive. And I was glad for Hollywood's encouragement for us to put our arms around a sad person and invite them to share their feelings - that we might love them where they're at, and encourage them to keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Have you seen Inside Out? What did you think?

A Boy Needs His Momma When...

...he's at the mall.

Forgive me, please, for being stereotypical in this post but - as you'll see - the material was there, and I just couldn't let it go.

OK, disclaimer aside, let's get on with the story.
This past weekend, Matthew and I found ourselves at the mall. He needed a new winter coat and some shirts, and I wanted a new necklace. So we ventured out together to get 'er done.
The winter coat was found and purchased without too much difficulty (But definitely with Matthew being impressed with the sale price we'd gotten. I took advantage of the opportunity to tell him about looking for coupons online before going to the store.) and then the challenge ensued. You need to understand: Matthew is very particular about the clothing he wears. Must be the right color, not too bright, the right kind of fabric, not too long, certainly not too short(!), comfortable-to-him cuffs at the end of the sleeves, no annoying graphics - but not too plain, either. I think I've covered it all. (Oh, and when it comes to athletic pants? He doesn't like a stripe going down the pant leg. The next time you're in the store, take a look at the athletic pants. They all have stripes!)
Anyway, we were looking for sweatshirts Saturday.
As we were walking through the first store, Matthew was basically silent. And not stopping at racks to look at shirts. When it seemed to me Matthew was wandering rather than looking, I reminded him he needed to verbalize some opinions about what he wanted. Such as, "I don't see anything here I want," or, "I like this. I am going to try it on." All the while I'm thinking, Do I really need to teach you how to shop? Isn't that something you should just know how to do? Er, wait. You're a boy.

We left the first store without so much as trying on one shirt. Everything I had pointed to was wrong somehow. Too bright. The wrong texture. Not enough design. Too much graphic. Yada, yada, yada. Quite frankly, at that moment, I was already ready to take a break. And I came up with a great idea. Since I was pretty sure Matthew wouldn't want to stand around while I looked at necklaces, I suggested he look through stores for a sweatshirt, or two, while I went to pick out a silver chain. I told him to call me when he found something and I'd be there as soon as I had my necklace.
I figured he would have the freedom to find just the right shirts, I would get my necklace, and we wouldn't frustrate each other in the search. Wins, all around.
As I was narrowing down my search, my phone rang and I thought, Wow. That didn't take long. Guess I was right. All he needed was a little freedom to pick out what he wanted. (The thoughts of a true female shopper...) But when I said, "Hello," Matthew didn't tell me of his shopping victories. Instead, he said, "Um. I can't do this without you." *swoon* So I told him where to find me, and after I'd gotten my necklace (for 20% off the already 50% discounted price, thank you) we went out in search of shirts, again.

We found a sweatshirt that might be OK, but Matthew thought he'd need a white t-shirt to wear underneath it. And in his mind that seemed to be a legitimate obstacle. I said, "So, we'll get a white t-shirt," and found a two-pack on a near-by rack. Problem solved. Then we looked at a different display of shirts and, by some miracle, located another sweatshirt he was willing to try on. He was slightly concerned that the collar might be too wide, but I pointed out he could wear a t-shirt underneath if necessary. Brilliant!
In the end, we bought the two sweatshirts and got the white t-shirts for free because of a "Buy 2, Get 1 Free" deal. Matthew was happy with our successes, and impressed by my deal-finding ability.
And I learned that shopping isn't an inborn skill for boys.
*wink*

Confessions of a Control Freak *re-post*

OK, so last week was my first week back to work. And, uh, it's taking some adjusting.
So, let's just say I didn't have a chance to record a video devotion.

Fortunately, I have an archive full of devotions from which to pull, and I found one I wanted to re-share.
I recorded this video shortly after Brian and I returned from a cruise we took two years ago. (The cruise we were going to take on our 10th anniversary, which became the one we were going to take for our 20th anniversary. Which we finally got around to seven months before our 21st anniversary.)
Anyway, I had completely forgotten this incident happened (The one I'm going to mention in the video. Not the cruise!) and it brought me such joy to be reminded. Hoping and praying God will use this to encourage you in your journey today.

New Friday Series: Title TBD

Soooooo, I started my new job this week!

I am a Life Enrichment Assistant at Grandhaven Living Center in Lansing.
In other words, I am helping facilitate activities for some precious senior citizens.
It is very similar to what I was doing at Edgewood. Except this time I am not the one "in charge."
And I am so good with that. *smile*

I have much to learn, like names and buildings/floor plans and entry codes associated with each. (It's a memory care facility. So the doors must be secured.) I did it before. I know I can do it again. But, oh - my brain is in overload right now.
There is one very sweet woman who implanted herself in my mind and heart right away. She lights up the room when she walks into it, and after knowing her for only a short while - I am convinced she can do nothing except be nice. Yesterday before I left work, she gave me these:

They're paper flowers she made (She attached the middle with needle and thread!), and upon which she composed kind notes to me. Honestly? I wasn't able to decipher everything she wrote. But I did interpret that she loves me, and she's glad I have joined the staff at Grandhaven.
My cohorts in the Life Enrichment department assure me - I'll be receiving more notes like these from J. I've seen their collection of these flowers in our office and now I understand what they are. Little pieces of love from a very sweet little lady.

And so I embark on a new vocational adventure. Thankful to God for leading me here, and trusting Him to walk me through it. Don't know what I'm going to call it yet, but I hope you'll join me for the journey.

We're Both Growing

There was a time when I thought we'd never make it this far.

I remember days of tears, fits of rage, nights of anger, and outbursts of yelling.
(Coming from both my son and I.)

Indeed, at the time I was convinced one or the other of us wouldn't "survive" motherhood.
That is, if I didn't eat my offspring first...
Yeah.
Life was that hard.
I couldn't handle his animosity, and I hated who I was becoming in response to it all. I resented the fact that motherhood wasn't the picture-perfect world I'd imagined it would be. And I found myself despairing of another day - another opportunity to fail as a mom, get angry with my child(ren), and miss the joy I had thought would be mine.

Writing this out makes me even more thankful for the grace of God and the work HE has done in my life.

Anyway, back when I was in the midst of those struggles I thought we would be stuck there forever. But yesterday, my son turned 18 years old.
Now, I am not saying we never struggle anymore.
Far from it!
But I am saying the trials we faced which I thought would be the end of me - weren't. I am saying God has faithfully brought us through every valley and HE has made us better for it. I know I am not yet the woman God intends for me to be, but - Praise Jesus! - I am also not the woman I was.
I remember very clearly the day I was on the edge, and - probably in an attempt to console myself - I thought, One day, these kids will grow up. And they won't be the same. They're going to mature and leave these childish ways behind. And almost immediately I had the very distinct sense God was saying to my heart, Darling, they aren't the only ones who are going to change. I'm going to use these trials to change you, too.
And so today - as I look at my now-adult child and consider all we've been through, as I ponder what lies ahead, and anticipate more of God's good work in his life - I am overcome with joy. Not because we've had a perfect life. But because we have a perfect God, who works good even out of what seems to be bad.

Are you facing a struggle today which seems like it will never go away? I pray the God of hope will fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

Welcome to my Alternative Classroom

Grrr.

Stupid winter weather.

I was very much looking forward to attending Precepts Tuesday, to begin our discussion of Acts 1.
But our unusually mild winter has come to an abrupt end, and unsafe driving conditions lead to the cancellation of our class.

Did I mention I was looking forward to our discussion?

If you don't mind, I've decided to process my thoughts with you here on my blog. Actually, even if you do mind - I'm going to do it. You have the option of clicking off this page, I suppose. But I hope you'll stick around - that we might encourage each other through the Word of God. *smile*

So over the past week I have been studying the first chapter of Acts. And, while there is a lot of good stuff in there, one thing in particular stood out to me and has been ruminating in my spirit.
Consider this:

6 So when they had come together, they were asking Him, saying, “Lord, is it at this time You are restoring the kingdom to Israel?” 7 He said to them, “It is not for you to know times or epochs which the Father has fixed by His own authority; 8 but you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you; and you shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth.”

Acts 1:6-8

What did the apostles want to know?
And what did Jesus tell them?
He answered their question. But did He tell them what they wanted to know?
Indeed, He did not.
He told them what they needed to know.
Seems the apostles were focused on the wrong concern. But rather than chastising them for their misplaced curiosity, Jesus gently redirected their attention - and told them what was important. In my mind, Jesus' words sound something like this: Hey, guys. Yours isn't to know the details of when the Kingdom is coming. Yours is to tell everyone about Me, so when the Kingdom comes - they'll be ready.

I believe it is no accident that I am studying this passage at this time in history. For very often recently, I have taken into consideration the happenings of our world - the natural disasters, the steep moral decline, the terrorism, the constant battle with evil. And I cannot help but wonder, Is it happening? LORD, are You getting things ready for Your return???
It may be that He is. But in studying Acts 1 this past week, I keep getting an overwhelming sense that we don't need to know when Jesus is coming back. Rather, we are to "be [His] witnesses" all over this world, so that when He comes back - people will be ready.

By the power of the Holy Spirit, let's do this!

Good Mail

At first I thought it was SPAM, and I was about to delete it.

See, I glanced at the name and didn't recognize it. So I figured the email was just another one of the dozens of junk messages I receive every day.
But then I read the subject line and my heart leaped with joy inside of me:
Safe and sound! - Wheaton in México 2016
The message was from my daughter's college professor, telling all 17 sets of parents that their kids had made it to Mexico. And my day of praying and wondering turned into a chorus of thanksgiving.

Saturday morning at about 3:45 I walked into Detroit Metro airport with Elizabeth, helped her get checked in and find her way to the security point, and then I walked out.
Without her.
My baby girl (who isn't a baby anymore) is spending this semester with her professor and 16 other Wheaton College students studying in Mexico. She is living with a Mexican familia, taking classes at a Mexican universidad, and being fully immersed in a new culture.
I am both excited and scared for her.
With both of those emotions in full force, I spent my entire day Saturday praying for my girl. Wondering if she'd made it to Dallas yet. Was she on the plane to Queretaro? Had she begun speaking only in Spanish - as her professor had instructed the students to do? Would she really be able to adapt to hearing, speaking, and understanding Spanish 100%? Was she going to become home-sick and wish she hadn't chosen to study cross-culturally?

All these questions turned into prayers as I waited for some indication that she had arrived in Mexico.

And then I received that good email - which seemed to me to be God's way of saying, OK, Karen. I managed to deliver your daughter safely over 2,200 miles today. You can trust Me to care for her heart and meet her needs, too. Have faith, dear one. I've got this.

And so, I'll trust.

How about you? What steps of faith is God asking you to take today?

For the Kids

He is NOT My Enemy

So I'm gonna stop living like he IS.

I try, oh - how I try, to interact peaceably with my teenage son. Looking for just the right blend of I'm-the-mom-that's-why, let-him-be-a-kid-while-he-still-can, get-your-chores-done-now, tell-him-he's-doing-a-good-job, remove-your-boots-before-you-take-another-step, don't-sweat-the-small-stuff, I-love-you, and leave-him-alone-he-doesn't-need-mommy-right-now.

Wondering how long the search will last.

But I have discovered that in the midst of my searching, while I'm trying so diligently to cultivate a peaceful relationship, I have lost sight of who I am fighting. Er, have you seen War Room yet? I'm realizing I have a lot in common with Elizabeth. That is, just like she felt her battle was with her husband, I have been feeling like I'm fighting against my son.
Cue Miss Clara: You're fighting the wrong enemy!
Ah, no. My son is NOT my enemy. The enemy of my soul is the one causing all the trouble. And he is the one to blame for the turmoil between my son and me. My enemy doesn't want my son to feel love from me, doesn't want me to build him up, and certainly doesn't want God to be glorified in our relationship. So he whispers lies into my ear and gets me to believe my battle is against my son.
But thanks be to GOD!
The Lover of my soul (and my son's!) speaks Truth. He reminds me of His promises. He calls me to pray and tells me to never give up. Because HE will fight for me against the real enemy.

So this girl, here, is gonna get back to living like she knows who the real enemy is. Trusting the One who already has the VICTORY. By the power and grace of the Holy Spirit, this girl is gonna love her son when it's hard. She's going to pray for him when he's being temperamental and difficult to endure. She's going to recall the promises of God in the face of discouragement. And she's going to trust that in His time, she's going to see a beautiful picture unfold before her eyes.
Because God is good and He makes beauty from ashes.

Wherever you are today, I invite you to join me on this journey. Whether you're struggling with a teen, a toddler, or even the reflection in the mirror - may you surrender your battle to the One who can win it. Who knows what you need. And Who will never give up on you.

Come. Let's do our fighting from our knees.

Can You Hear Me Now?

In retrospect, I imagine God must have been shaking His gracious head - wondering why I insisted on playing Verizon with Him.

It was last week, Wednesday, and I was preparing to go in for a job interview. I'd already interviewed with two other companies, had one job offer, and was asking God to direct my heart to the place He wanted me to go. In fact, I specifically asked Him to give me a sense of peace (or NOT) in my heart to help me make a decision. Then I gathered my stuff and headed out to the interview.
Things were going well enough during the interview and I thought I could see myself working at this particular facility. But then the scheduler said she had second and third shift positions to fill - that is 4pm to midnight, and midnight to 8am - and my heart sank. Because those shifts would not be conducive to family life for me and my tribe. Still - I felt the job would be very rewarding, an offer had been made to me, and I began to justify that it wouldn't be "too bad" because I would only be working part-time.

Three crazy shifts a week couldn't be unbearable, could they?

On the drive home I began to come up with other justifications and was building a case in my mind for why this job seemed right. Totally ignoring the sinking-heart feeling I'd gotten when the shifts were discussed. Seems I'd forgotten that I had suggested God could give me a NOT sense of peace as a way to direct my heart.
Then it occurred to me that I ought to call my contact person from the first job offer to ask a couple questions. I was making assumptions about a concern I had with that company and figured it best to verify rather than assume. Call it Divine intervention.
So that afternoon we spoke on the phone, and my fears were laid to rest. Furthermore, I received words of encouragement from her which made me feel relief. Not to mention a couple of text messages she sent after our call, which seemed to bring peace to my heart.
And that's about the moment it hit me.
While my heart sank during my interview earlier in the day, all these things associated with Grandhaven Living Center were making me feel peaceful.

It was as if HE were saying to me, Can you hear Me now???

Women's Listening Retreat

Nearly twelve years ago I attended a listening retreat with about 15-20 other women, which strongly impacted my relationship with God. As long as I live, I am certain I will never forget the tender moments I had with Jesus in that 24-hour period.
(Ask me sometime about my Beautiful Chair, and waltzing with Jesus!)
In recent years I have dreamed of hosting a retreat for women - modeled after the one I attended. And I am happy to say, God is bringing it all together. Because a new year often brings with it desires to grow spiritually, and cultivate spiritual disciplines, I want to invite you to consider attending this retreat with me. The theme of the weekend will be What Are You Waiting For?, and I will be speaking as we learn from Matthew 14:22-33. However, the focus of the retreat will be on listening to Jesus - as we spend concentrated time in His presence.

If this event sounds like one in which you would like to participate, please visit my website here for more information and to register.

Looking forward to what the LORD has in store for each woman who comes to listen.

A New Year

Show Me the Way

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love,
for I have put my trust in you.
Show me the way I should go,
for to you I entrust my life...
Teach me to do your will,
for you are my God;
may your good Spirit
lead me on level ground.

Psalm 143: 8,10

Psalm 143 was the focus of my quiet time yesterday. And I suppose it is little wonder that I was drawn to verses 8 and 10. Because yesterday I had my first job interview since I started sending out resumes last week. And all I want to do is to go where my Lord wants me to go.
Truthfully, going into the interview yesterday I was super excited about the opportunity. Thought it sounded exactly like what I wanted to do. And that it fit so well with how God has wired me and filled me with passion. But when I got there, things were not as I'd assumed they would be. I discovered a couple pieces of information which reigned in my excitement a bit. And as I was leaving the interview I started thinking, Hmmmmm. Maybe Job Opportunity #1 isn't the place for me. Because "this" isn't what I was expecting. And "that" is not what I'd hoped for. Maybe Job Opportunity #2 (for which I am interviewing in a couple weeks) will be the one. Or perhaps I'll get a call from one of the other places.
Right on cue, I sensed God's Spirit nudging my heart.
Perhaps. Or maybe My idea of the right fit isn't quite the same as yours. Although "this" and "that" seem out of line to you, maybe I am looking at "the other thing." Be careful, My dear, not to confuse your will with Mine. As you go through this process, be sure to keep your heart open to everything Mine wants you to do. Remember - My plan might look different than yours.

And what can I say to that? Nothing but, "I have put my trust in You. Show me the way I should go. Teach me to do Your will. Lead me on level ground."
And so shall my prayer remain as I go through these next weeks. Show me the way.
Because all I want to do is to go where my Lord wants me to go.

P.S. I am driving to Wheaton tomorrow to pick up my girl for Christmas vacation, so I am officially beginning my blog-break...NOW.
Planning to re-enter the blogosphere January 4.
Until then, I wish you a very Merry CHRISTmas, and days filled with love, peace, and joy from on high.

I Believe

I sat in church Sunday morning thinking I was "good."

That is, when the pastor asked the question, "Do you believe God is mighty?" I was full-on, YES!
And my mind immediately went to people for whom I have been praying. LORD, You are mighty to bring healing to Patty. Please fight for her. You are mighty to heal Greg and Dot. You are mighty to lead Ashley. You even have the power and ability and wisdom and might to manage the mess our world is facing today. I'm sure of it.
I sat in the pew, listening to the sermon, believing I believe God is mighty.
Yep, I thought to myself. I have faith. I'm good.
But suddenly it was as if God were tapping me on the shoulder asking, Oh, really? Then please explain to Me what was going on last night.
And like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar, I felt the need to quickly concoct a story to explain away what appeared to be a lack of obedience.
Because I knew exactly what HE was talking about: Saturday night I had been sitting on the couch with Brian, lamenting my concerns for a certain teenage son of mine. I was frustrated with particular behaviors coming from this man-child. I was second-guessing my performance as his mother. Have I failed at teaching respect? Should I come down harder on specific actions? Or non-actions, as the case may be? If I had done x, y, and z when he was a toddler, would things be better now? Am I being too uptight? Or is this simply a result of him being almost-18, and feeling the need to exert his independence? Yes, I was sitting on the couch giving in to feelings of despair. Allowing frustration and unmet expectations to cloud my heart.
Sunday morning I found myself sitting in a pew with the distinct sense that God was asking me, What about your troubles, Karen? You believe I can handle things for your friends, and that's good. I'm glad you trust Me for them. I'm glad you pray for them. But what about your troubles? Do you believe I am enough? Am I mighty enough to fight for your son? Am I mighty enough to lead you through this phase of parenting? Am I mighty enough to manage the mess you feel is closing in around you as a mother? Am I? Am I???

Uh, yeah. I was feeling conviction, for sure.

And here's a peak at my bulletin - and the thought-process through which I went during that exchange with the LORD:

How about for you? Do you believe God is mighty enough to handle your circumstances?

Don't Wait to Praise HIM