So, this past summer someone I love very much had a double mastectomy. She is doing well now. Doesn't even need chemo. And that's a good thing. Thank You, Jesus!
Her experience caused her to implore me to go get my annual mammogram. (Which I was
So, this past summer someone I love very much had a double mastectomy. She is doing well now. Doesn't even need chemo. And that's a good thing. Thank You, Jesus!
Her experience caused her to implore me to go get my annual mammogram. (Which I was
I found a treasure. Hidden away on a bookshelf, in a folder I'd long forgotten existed.Inside the folder were notes from a few leaders of moms' groups for whom I have spoken, materials from a couple retreats, and papers my mentor gave to me years ago.And then, there was this gem: A "journal" entry on two pieces of loose-leaf notebook paper with the date 2/26 written in the margin. Further investigation helped me determine the year was 2005. And some additional processing made me realize I wrote this the day God cemented in my heart a call to share my story with moms. This is what I wrote:
I'm home, Lord. An evening and a day with a hundred other women, spent hearing from You. And it was good. Thank You.And yet being home for only a few minutes, I am overcome with requests for help with this and that. Can I have hot chocolate? Will you hang my coat up? Will you untie my shoes? I come upstairs for space to unwind and think through what You've spoken at the retreat and I find that the hallway and my room are a mess. I have just spent the day, peaceful, hearing from You, and suddenly I feel deflated.What is it that makes me feel this way? I was in an environment where I could rest in You. Here at home I am compelled to be a do-er. But You are just as present here as You were at the retreat. You have not changed, only my location is different. Please help me, Lord, to rest, to be, in You even when there are clothes in the laundry basket that need to be put away, when Matthew has wet his pants again(!), when there is melted snow on the kitchen floor. When the kids are yelling and fighting and making a mess in the bathroom, please help me to rest in You.I need to know, Lord, what am I to do? I need wisdom from You. When Matthew makes a mess, do I smile and clean it up? Do I make him do it? Do I battle over it with him? What, Lord? How am I to do it? What does it look like for me to seek You in times like this? To pray for him ~ To be aware of You ~ To forget about me?Lord, thank You for the glimpses of hope You give to me. Like Joshua's caring heart as he brought me my "favorite" toast. He is a lover. Please help me to keep sight of that part of him, especially when I am becoming angry with him.Oy! All this and I haven't even gotten to the "processing" I wanted to do: My purpose.Is it this mother/transformation to holiness thing that You want me to share? Is this station in life, where my heart has been broken and through which You are leading me, the intersection of our hearts? If it is, Lord, please show me.I want to be faithful and Your mouthpiece - a messenger of hope and life. Where You lead, I will follow.Please show me the way.I read those words and weep for the brokenness I know is behind them. I remember the pain so clearly. The frustration. The feelings of being lost.But now that I am on the other side of those words - now that I have the benefit of hind-sight, I also weep for joy at the faithfulness of God. I marvel at what HE has done. And I rejoice.On February 26, 2005 I never would have imagined what God would do over the next eleven years in my heart and life, in my children, and through me - in ministry. I had no idea. But HE saw it all.God's faithfulness in the past is why I am trusting Him with my future - with all the un-seens of parenting and speaking and every other part of life. And His faithfulness is why my prayer remains:Lord, please show me. I want to be faithful and Your mouthpiece - a messenger of hope and life. Where You lead, I will follow. Please show me the way.
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Labels: Mom's Heart, Reflections, Trusting God

Last night I met a dear woman.In fact, I'll call her Dearly Loved. Because she is.Dearly Loved is a guest at the City Rescue Mission and I sat next to her during the chapel service. (I was there "observing" as part of my preparation to become a volunteer speaker for chapel services. I'm super looking forward to sharing hope with those ladies!)So, anyway, Dearly and I were talking after chapel and she told me about a new discipleship program which is about to begin. Participants in the program will have the opportunity to dig deeply into God's Word, and Dearly reeeeaaaally wants to get into it. I could hear in her voice and see in her eyes a hunger for knowing God and His Word more. And if that weren't enough, the tears she shed because of her uncertainty at being selected would have convinced me of her desire.So we sat and talked for a while.Dearly - pouring out her heart, and me - trying to encourage her with Truth. Oh, she knows God knows what He's doing.She has a testimony, and she knows HE is good.Dearly understands that God's timing is not ours, and HE might have a reason for delaying her entry into the discipleship program.But the tears she kept wiping away spoke loudly of her desire to know God more through His Word.Her response caused me to wonder, Is my desire as deep?I am so happy to be in my Precepts class. I love doing inductive Bible study. God delights me as He opens my heart to His Word.But I had to ask myself, Am I taking it for granted???How many people around the world - in my own community! - only wish they had the opportunity and ability to be satisfied by God's Word?Oh, I do not think I comprehend how fortunate I am to have His Word - and solid instruction for study - so readily at my fingertips.
LORD, thank You. Thank You for Your Word. Thank You for teaching me how to study. Thank You for filling my heart and satisfying my soul as You open my eyes to what You have to say. And please, Lord, please make a way for Dearly to participate in that discipleship program. Please satisfy her hunger to know You more!
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Labels: Adventures in Mothering, As the Children Grow, Being Real, For Laughter

Yesterday one of my daughter's friends stopped by. She was in a messy emotional state, full of worry and anxiety. And without much time to stay. But in the moments we had, I prayed with her. And I reminded her over and again that Jesus is living in her, and she has His power at work in and around her. We agreed that she cannot do "this" on her own, BUT she doesn't have to. HE is with her!Then I walked her outside to say good-bye. And when I came back in the house, this song was blaring on the radio.Confirmation!
When my kids need to conquer a task which challenges their comfort level, I cheer them on and tell them, "You can do it!"
At other times, when the exercise is one they simply don't want to do I might empathize for a moment, but ultimately the words coming from my mouth will sound something like, "C'mon. Let's get 'er done!" Whether it's registering for college courses, preparing for a class speech, or just washing the dishes - sometimes I have to give my almost-adults
Remember when you were a little kid, and you predicted a certain outcome to a particular event? And when it happened as you thought it would you paraded around shouting, "I told you so!!!!!"
NO? I'm the only one who did that??? C'mon. You know you did it at least once. Humor me. OK, so anyway. I'm pretty sure I just heard a very loving and wonderful I told you so come down from heaven. Because bit by bit details are coming together for the Women's Listening Retreat. And I couldn't be more delighted. I mean, I have believed from the get-go that God was in this and would see it through. But HE seems to frequently test my faith - by allowing me to wait to see in the physical what HE has already accomplished in the spiritual. And although I have seen His faithfulness over and over again, and I know He will do what He says He will do, my heart does a great big happy dance when I get to finally see it in the physical. Ya know?So, yeah. Our God is faithful. And very comfortable operating according to His own schedule.And seeing what I'm seeing now has me 100 times more excited about what I'll see Him do at the retreat. *smile*There are still openings for more listeners.
14 He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth, 15 for he will be great in the sight of the Lord. He is never to take wine or other fermented drink, and he will be filled with the Holy Spirit even before he is born. 16 He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God. 17 And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord. ~Luke 1:14-17It must have been eight or nine years ago when I listened to my mentor reading those words. And although I knew they were spoken to Zechariah in reference to his not-yet-born son, John - in the quiet of those moments in my friend's living room, I could have sworn God was promising that hope to me in reference to my son, Josh. As the years have passed and I have gone through various struggles with my son, I confess that sometimes I have lost sight of that promise. Even believed at times that it couldn't possibly come to pass. Still, God's Spirit brings it to my mind time and again - and I am convicted of my obligation to trust and believe. And my responsibility to pray.Thus, in recent days I have found myself seeking wisdom. I have been confessing my trust in God's power, His perfect plan, and His sovereign ability to work it out. And I am laying these struggles at His feet. Believing He has a purpose for the path we're walking. Trusting He will use it to form my son into a vessel which He will use "to make ready a people prepared for the Lord." Ahhhhh, friends. I don't know how it's going to happen. Some days it's really hard to trust. But my hope is in God because I have experienced His faithfulness, and I know He does not change.And so - I will continue to pray. And trust. And believe.By the power of Your Name, JESUS!What burden are you being called to entrust to the Lord?
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Labels: As the Children Grow, Being Real, Mom's Heart, Prayer, Trusting God

My Facebook friends know. But I am not sure I've said anything about it here.
I am now a part of the new millennium. Yes, folks. Karen got a smartphone! And, in addition to providing a lot of people with comic entertainment while I have tried to do things like - enter appointments in my calendar, send a text message, and, oh, answer a call - I have begun accomplishing amazing feats.For example, I bought my own case and put the phone in it all.by.myself. I learned how to use the new messenger app. I'm playing around with a video app which may, or may not, result in a really cool video being posted here some day. And yesterday? I applied my screen protector - all by myself - even though Brian told me it's kinda tricky to do.I must admit, however, that I felt doomed to failure from the get-go.Because I read the directions. And they specifically state: "Clean handheld screen with the cloth provided in a dust-free environment." And I'm thinking, Where am I going to find a place like that? Dust-free??? I mean, in my house there's dust everywhere. Even after I dust, it finds its way back to table tops and figurines in a matter of minutes. It's just like vacuuming. I put Mindy outside so I can vacuum up all of the hair she so freely leaves around. But as soon as I let her back in, so comes back the dog hair. And I'm thinking, Why bother?So there I was, preparing to apply my screen protector - reading the directions and fearing I was going to foul up the whole procedure - when it occurred to me, it doesn't matter. If there is dust in the air or on the table when I am cleaning the screen - and my smartphone isn't smart enough to figure out how to get rid of it - and if as a result my screen protector doesn't go on perfectly, so what?I'm not perfect. My house isn't perfect. My family isn't perfect. Nothing in my life is perfect. Except my Jesus. HE is perfect in every way. And that does matter.Oh, how thankful I am for all the times HE fixes my outlook.How has Jesus affected your perspective lately?
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.~James 1:5I don't know about you, but I am sure thankful for that promise right there.Because I lack wisdom.Big time. You see, the thing is, I have never had an 18-year-old son before. I am traveling in uncharted territory. And I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. (This situation feels kinda similar to when I had a new-born. Only this time the circumstances are weightier, and the child has more to say about it all.)Thus, I find myself feeling helpless, but not hopeless. God, in His grace, keeps on reminding me that HE is completely in control. HE sees - not only to the end of this semester - but through every single day of my son's life. God has a perfect plan, and HE reigns.Not only is HE sovereign over all creation, but if I ask Him to give me the wisdom I need for my little space in the history of time? HE will! Generously. And without finding fault.So I ask, and I believe. And I trust God is going to deliver us through this phase, too.Is there a situation in your life for which you need to seek God's wisdom?
What?
You've never heard of a pin pal before??? Well, neither have I, to be honest. And I am not really sure what a typical pin pal would do. To be honest-er. But my pin pal and I? We write letters to each other.At the beginning of the school year last September, my sister-in-law told me that her daughter's class had an assignment to find "a dependable adult to be their snail mail pen pal" during the school year. And she wondered if I would be willing to fill that role. Which I was happy to do! (In part, because I thought it was really cool to be referred to as a "dependable adult." *ahem*) Only, the entire time we've been writing my niece has been referring to me as her pin pal. And I think it's entirely too cute to correct.Thus, I am - and have - a pin pal.And may I tell you? It has been one of the most delightful experiences I've had as an "aunt." An experience, that is, which we decided to continue beyond the end of last school year. Because it's fun to write letters - and to receive them. Ya know?Our correspondence has helped me better know my niece. I laugh when I read her letters because she has a charming sense of humor. I enjoy hearing about the world from my niece's perspective, and chuckle to myself at the things she notices. And I love having a window into her young heart.More than that, I love having an avenue which allows me to speak into her life. I want to speak, er, write words of faith, encouragement, and hope. I want my letters to be a source of inspiration for that sweet girl. Since we live in different cities and don't see each other often, I see our letter-writing as an opportunity to build into my niece and grow our relationship. And I am praying God will use it as such. Besides, I am aware that letter-writing is a dying art, and I am eager to help keep it alive.So, my take-away challenge for you today:Are you a "dependable adult" with a kiddo somewhere in your life? How about training them up in the fine art of letter-writing, and building into their life in the process?
I poked my head into the Breezeway where my co-worker was playing Bingo with some residents last weekend - to say good-bye as I was heading home. (My co-worker, that is, who I hardly ever see because he works on a very part-time basis on the weekends.) And he said, "I hear you're leaving!?"The look on my face must have told him that piece of information wasn't yet public knowledge, because he quickly covered it up recovered by saying something like, "You're leaving to go home?"
So, the other night we had a family meeting of sorts.
That is, we got together to explore a possibility. OK. We test-drove a car.Brian is in the driver's seat. I'm riding shot-gun. The boys are in the back.And as soon as we get out on the road it seems the three of them simultaneously exclaim, "Alright. Let's see what she can do!" While I'm all, "Whoa, buddy. Take 'er easy now."From the backseat I hear, "Zero to sixty, Dad. I'll time it. Go!" And I'm saying, "Oh, really? What if there's a policeman ahead of us. You wanna pay the ticket?" Then comes, "Oh, yeah! Take this curve without slowing down!" And I'm all, "What if a deer jumps out in front of us?"Next, someone challenges, "See how fast you can go in reverse!" And I reply, "No you don't. What if..." At which point Josh interrupts with a hint of exasperation in his voice, "Oh, Mom. You're just worrying about every little thing that could possibly go wrong."And I'm all, "Well, yeah. I'm a mom. That's my job!"Can I get an "Amen!" from a sister who knows what I'm talkin' about?
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Labels: Adventures in Mothering, For Laughter

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.~John 10:27My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. Seems like a fairly simple statement at first, doesn't it?The sheep listen.The Shepherd knows.The sheep follow. Simple.But what if we dug deeper? What if we studied the implications?If the sheep are listening, the Shepherd must be speaking.If the Shepherd knows, He must be knowledgeable. Furthermore, the sheep must be knowable. That is, they must be submitting to the Shepherd and trusting Him to know them.And if the sheep follow, the Shepherd must be leading.So, perhaps that simple statement could also read: I, the Shepherd, speak. And because I speak good things, My sheep listen to my voice. I have the ability to know all things, thus I know my sheep. They know I am good and they trust me - so they welcome Me into their lives, to know them and care for them. And My sheep - who listen to and trust Me - also follow Me. Because I lead them, and show them where they should go. Oh, what if we took time to dig deeper into the Word of God and seek His voice? If we got quiet and listened? Really listened - with the intent of letting Him shape us?What would HE do in our lives, if we let Him have free reign?I would love for you to join me at the Women's Listening Retreat on October 7 & 8, as we embark on this journey to seek His voice.
Three weeks.
That's how much time we got to have with our girl before she went away again. Yeah. Sunday, Brian drove Elizabeth back to Wheaton. Cuz it's time for her to start a new school year. *sigh*And she doesn't have plans to come home again until Christmas break.And if she gets accepted for a project for which she's applying (Which I'm sure she will. Because she's such an amazing young woman. And I am not biased in the least. *ahem*) she says we probably ought not come out for Family Weekend in November - because she'll be busy with preparatory activities for the project all weekend. So we really wouldn't get to see her, anyway.And I'm going to miss her sweet presence around here.But this is good and right and the way it's supposed to be. My baby girl - growing into a beautiful woman. Following the path set before her by God. Who loves her even more than I do.Ahhhhh. So thankful I can trust HIM to watch over her every minute of every day - with love and wisdom and power and grace.
Several weeks ago I shared a story here about playing Uno with a few friends - two of whom I labeled "All There" and "Hanging on by a Thread." Remember them? If you don't have time to go back and read that post, I'll remind you: In addition to having most of her mental faculties intact, All There also has a tendency toward impatience and being easily agitated. So, for today's post, let's call her: Easily Agitated. And now, if you will, imagine playing a round of Euchre with Easily Agitated, Wouldn't Hurt a Fly, and Mr. Nice. I thought I was being smart - and ending problems before they began - by partnering myself up with Easily Agitated. I mean, I can handle her scowls and jabs when I make stupid plays. Would rather they come my way than be sent to Wouldn't Hurt a Fly.So we set on to playing cards, and I had the false sense of security that we could play together nicely. Oh, Karen. When will you learn???? Before we got too far into the first round, Easily Agitated became agitated with Wouldn't Hurt a Fly for playing an incorrect card by mistake. And when Easily thought Wouldn't had repeated the same mistake a few minutes later? She actually picked up the card and threw it back at Wouldn't. Uh, Easily humbled herself quite quickly when she realized her own mistake. And, thankfully, Wouldn't seemed oblivious to Easily's antics.Of course, through the entire game with all of its drama, Mr. Nice was being just that. He's such a nice guy!I think it was his kind demeanor which helped me to not get upset with Easily. I was reminded of a conversation I'd had with another staff member about Easily. She had commented that Easily was probably a really sweet lady in days gone by. Before dementia started setting in and changing her personality. Thus, I kept telling myself the behavior I was seeing probably wasn't coming from her true self. And by the grace of God I was able to extend kindness to her - even when she seemed not to have any for anyone else. And so I learned another method of covering a person with TLC. You've gotta give them the benefit of the doubt.Is there someone in your world who needs you to assume the best of them, even though they may be showing the worst?
Oh, how I love Jesus!
Oh, how I love His tender mercies and faithfulness. Oh, how thankful I am! If you've been hanging out with me this summer, you probably know that I've been wrestling. It has felt like a very long time of praying, and waiting, and wondering, and longing for answers, and thinking I know what to do, and doubting, and praying, and waiting, and... I have finally made the decision to which I believe God has led me.So, yesterday morning I was sitting in the living room having my quiet time and I was thanking God for leading me. I thanked Him for His faithful and perfect provision, and the peace which is resting in my heart. I thanked Him for knowing what I need, and for the memories He was bringing to me about His faithfulness in the past.I spent time praying - thanking and praising God. And petitioning Him to continue leading me. Because I only want to go where HE wants me to go!And then I read the verse for the day:I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.~Psalm 32:8And my heart nearly burst.Could He have spoken any more clearly???In that moment it was as if God were sitting right there next to me, holding my hand and looking into my eyes, saying, Dear one, just as I have been faithful to you in the past, I will continue to be. You have been seeking My hand and I know your desire is to follow My lead. And now, I give you My Word - I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you. And I? Am listening for His instruction and counsel!
Imagine, going to the doctor and having him give you a GOOD prescription!
I mean, I'm not talking about anything as wonderful as a script for a cruise - paid for by your insurance. I've long thought something like that would cure all my ills. And would certainly be a worthy investment on their part. But, to no avail. Anyway, my doctor's recent orders weren't that good. But they were good! The thing is, I have mild scoliosis and am seeing a doctor to try to "straighten up". At my first visit he found that I have one leg shorter than the other - which is the cause of the whole problem. He instructed me to get some lifts to wear in my right shoe, and gave me some stretches to do. Which I have been doing. At my second visit I was happy to hear his report that it looks like we're heading in the right direction. But the best part was when he added to my list of daily exercises. He pointed out a spot on my back where the apex of the curve is located. And he told me to fold a wash cloth/small towel, place it under my side relative to that spot, and lay down on it. Just lay down.No stretching, tensing, turning, or anything else.Just lay still.Had me start off once a day for five minutes, and told me to "work my way up" to 15. (As if he knew how hard it is for a mom to sit still in one place for that long! *wink*)And that was the first time I have really been super excited about Doctor's Orders.Because my doc told me to lay down and do nothing else for 15 minutes.Yes, sir!
Did you know yesterday was National Chocolate Day?
Yeah. I didn't either. Until I read about it in the announcements at work. And it just so "happened" that one of the day's activities was a cooking demonstration of Chocolate No-Bake Cookies. Coincidence? I think, NOT!So, as soon as dinner was over I got busy with a few of my favorite friends and I showed them how to prepare those tasty treats. (Most of these women had never made No-Bakes before. It was fun to see how amazed they were that you can NOT BAKE cookies. *smile*) As you can imagine, the chocolate-y aroma filling the kitchen made our mouths water. And when we sampled the cookies (Still warm. Yummmmm!) everyone was delighted. But the most delightful part was when I witnessed one particular lady ticking off a mental list of everyone in the building with whom she wanted to share the extra cookies. Oh, she kept me busy running from room to room as I hand-delivered each cookie at her command.Oh, if you could only have seen the way their faces lit up as I told them we'd just made cookies and wanted to share. Many of them resembled excited kids on Christmas morning who've just been given a great big gift to open. It was beautiful!And all because one dear woman made sure we shared. Is there someone in your life upon whom you want to shower some TLC? Why not try sharing a chocolate cookie???P. S. We're getting Elizabeth back Sunday! And we're whisking her away to take a short family vacation next week. Sooooo, I'll not be posting here until (probably) August 8.Until then, may the peace of Christ rest upon you, and may His grace sustain you.
Last week I received an email from a very worn-out, discouraged mother. Who happens to be expecting her fifth child(!) at the end of next month. As I typed out my response to her, I couldn't help but remember the struggle of having littles. Of battling feelings of jealousy towards a husband who "got to" be gone so often for work and work-related activities, when I "had to" be home with the children. While simultaneously being grateful beyond words for his efforts and long hours - which allowed me to be home with the children. (Yeah. That nearly gave me whiplash, too. No wonder moms are such volatile creatures! *wink*) I could recall the angst I felt toward their angst. The days when I wanted to fall on the floor kicking and screaming, simply because they were. And it wasn't because they made it look so attractive. It's just that I felt like I was about to explode, and kicking and screaming seemed like a good release. I resonated with her disdain for a young child's expression of disrespect - though I've found it doesn't change much when they're teenagers. *ahem* And with sadness I identified with her comment that she often finds herself so angry and short-tempered that she doesn't even laugh when her kiddos do something cute.Oh, those were some tough days.Then, yesterday morning during my quiet time, I was reminded again of another years-ago struggle. When I longed, even ached, for quiet time alone with God. When I simply wished for an uninterrupted opportunity to read my Bible and pray. When I would have loved to not have to tip-toe down the stairs, fearing that one creak in the floor would invite a trio of "helpers" - who would do anything but help.OK, let's be honest. At the time I just wanted to be ALONE. If God were limited in His ability to be all places at all times, I probably would have been content for Him to rock the babies in the other room while I decompressed. Alone.
And the crazy thing?I found myself enjoying the memories.Really.Honest!!!That is, I found myself reflecting on God's faithfulness to see me through those
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Labels: Adventures in Mothering, As the Children Grow, Motherhood Encouragement, Struggling and Growing

Monday night Brian and I were at one of our rental houses painting bedrooms. In the sweltering heat. For our "date night" activity. Yeah. We're quite the romantics.Ahhh, but sometimes necessity trumps romance. And the painting needed to get done.(By the way, if you know any girls looking for a house to rent in Lansing, please send them to me. I would sure love to have girls move in this time. Cuz guys? Oh, how they can trash a house. Just sayin'.)
Anyway, back to Monday night. Brian and I were diligently painting trim (and wiping up occasional drips) when he asked me a thought provoking question. In light of all the political rhetoric flying around these days, he said, "Karen, what would you do to make America great again?"First, I laughed because I thought he was joking. Then I paused, because I had no idea what policies would make this nation whole. And, finally, I had an answer. I said, "Well, I have a proposal. But I'm pretty sure it would be met with resistance. No, more than that. A lot of people would have nothing to do with it." In my heart, the answer to the problems we're facing as a nation - no, as an entire world - is submitting to God. If we would only - every.single.one.of.us. - surrender to His Lordship, follow Him, obey His Word, love like He loves, and trust His heart - oh, what a beautiful world we would have in which to live.Can you imagine it?It would be heaven on earth, I'm telling you.Yet, the sad reality is - there are many people who would have nothing to do with it. Because their hearts are hard and their eyes are blind, and they do not understand that God is good. So with this vision fresh in my mind, I am praying for those people. I am begging God for mercy and asking Him to draw this world to Himself.Because HE is our only hope.
A friend asked me the other day if the listening retreat I'm hosting in October is "for mothers". She wanted to know - what is going to be the subject of the messages I'll be sharing?
Actually, her first question could best be answered, "Yes, and." That is, it is for mothers - as I trust God will be speaking to every mother in attendance. And it is for women who are not mothers - as I trust HE will be speaking to the heart of every woman who comes, whether or not she has children. Regarding her second query, over the course of our 24 hours together I will be speaking three times. The text I will be using is Matthew 14:22-33. However, while I have in mind an outline of what I'll say, the focus of the weekend is going to be listening to God - not to me. And so, while the subject of the messages will be that passage, the content of the messages will be unique between each woman and the Holy Spirit.Because HE knows each heart. HE knows every woman's circumstance. HE sees tomorrow. And HE knows what to say. So, what's it about?It's about listening to God and trusting Him to speak the words we need to hear. I cannot wait to witness what HE will do!If you would like to register for this retreat or find out about the details, please visit my website.
It's simple, really.
Just give him a gun! OK. Wondering how many readers have flipped out and are ready to send me hate mail.*wink* But, honestly, that's what just happened in my home. My mom and dad are getting ready to move, and are giving away all the things they don't want to take with them to Florida. Which includes a few guns my dad has had since who knows when. Which included a Remington something-or-other - like the ones that were standard-issue in World War II.Full disclosure: I am not a fan of guns, but Matthew is intrigued by them. Talks about them all the time. And, while I didn't really see the value of this "gift," he was thrilled. And can I tell you? I don't think Matthew has been on his Play Station since we've gotten home with those guns. Granted he's been at work some of the time (Did I mention he's working at Arby's now? Yep. My baby has a job!) but usually if he's home for more than 20 minutes, he's sitting in front of the TV - ridding the (virtual)world of zombies and other bad things.Ahhhh, but not the past few days. Nope. His every spare moment has been spent researching the guns, learning about when and how they were used, and even some studying about how they're made. In his braver moments he has started taking them apart. And I - though I am not terribly interested in the ins and outs of a gun - absolutely love seeing his young mind so engaged. He's all about discovering the mechanics of the gun - figuring out how it works, why this lever goes this way and that one does that, etc. Matthew is like a sponge, eager to soak up information and knowledge about his new finds. And I am delighted to see it.Because I get tired of the constant battle we have over screen time.Soooooo, fellow moms, if you're looking for a way to have your kiddos participate in mind-expanding discoveries - rather than mind-numbing games - might I suggest you let them get into something which really interests them? Even if it means you have to stretch your comfort zone?And, to put any restless hearts at ease - know that everything is secure. Matthew has been through gun safety training. We don't even have ammunition for the guns in the house. No need to worry. Edited to add: *insert eye roll* Not even five hours after I finished writing this post, Matthew was playing on the Play Station. But we had a good conversation about how great it's been for him to be involved in using his mind to learn the past few days. And, he did ask me to leave the tabs open on my computer which he is using to research the guns. So I am confident he'll be back at it soon. *wink*
Posted by
Karen Hossink
at
6:00 AM
0 surviving with me
Labels: Adventures in Mothering, As the Children Grow

Oh, what's a girl to do with someone who drives her a little batty?
Especially if the one who does the driving is rather irrational at times. (By no fault of her own, that is. Rather, because her mind isn't what it once was.) What if the driver is down-right hostile on occasion? Ah, yes. Such is the scenario I had to handle at GLC this week. There was an argument in the kitchen when my back was turned, and when I approached the table to discuss the problem - one of the involved parties fled the scene. I was very aware of what had happened, and I knew it really wasn't a big deal. So I approached the flee-er and asked if everything was OK. She bemoaned the behavior of "the driver," noting that this wasn't the first time such a demeanor had been displayed. And she went on to say she knew the reason "the driver" was so unkind. She said, "Because I am a Christian!" And she shared an anecdote to prove her point.At which point I looked at my angry friend and I said, "Then you know what we need to do, don't you? We need to love her!" My friend shared another anecdote, and I responded with, "See? We need to love her. We need to keep on loving her!" And as I pleaded with my eyes, my friend agreed to the plan. Thus, we went back to the table to continue with our project.Annnnd, who knows if tomorrow she'll remember our plan? Ahhh, no worries. Sometimes I think these lessons-learned are more for me than the parties involved in the struggle.How about you? Is there a "driver" in your life to whom you can apply this TLC?
Oh, how many times I rolled my eyes when an "older woman" said things like that to me in years gone by. Because at the time I was so tired of the endless questions, and the constant need to pick up after little hands made big messes. My lap wanted a few minutes to just be mine - not somebody's chair. And I really thought I would be content to never hear a small voice beckoning, MOOOOOOMMMMMY! ever, ever again. I was ready to change my title. (To something, ANYthing, besides "Mom".)Several times. Yep. Those were some rough days. And I believed anyone who thought I'd miss them someday - was crazy.
OK. So, fast-forward to a few days ago - and a phone conversation I had with my daughter. Yeah. The one who's in South Dakota for the summer - studying and having a great experience. The same one who graced us with her presence for a short month before going to SD, after she'd spent a semester in Mexico - studying and having a great experience. Of course, I am talking about the very daughter who has spent the majority of the past two years away at school and a summer job - making me feel very lucky to see her face in person on rare occasions. Yeah. That's my girl!So we're talking on the phone the other day, and I'm all excited because she's coming home in a few weeks. And we'll get to spend a few weeks with her before she's off to school again. And then she informs me that, Oh, by the way, she won't be coming home much next semester. Because she's probably going to her roommate's home in Colorado for Thanksgiving. And she and her roomie have decided to stay on campus to just hang out and have fun during Fall Break. BUT, she will be home for Christmas. I shook my head and thought, Gee. I guess this is what it means to miss those days. Because my girl is almost all grown up. And she's out in the world learning stuff and experiencing great things. She has a beautiful heart and love for the Lord, and she is spreading His love everywhere she goes.She's pretty much smarter than I am. She cleans up after herself. My lap really isn't adequate to serve as a sitting place for her anymore.And I absolutely LOVE IT that she still calls me, "Mommy".Ah, yes. This is as it should be. My girl growing up, living the life God has called her to live.But I sure do miss her!*sigh*
I know I am not the only one who is heart-broken over the shootings which took place last week.And I doubt I am the only one who keeps asking questions like, WHY? What's happening to this world? How will we ever heal??? Our nation seems to be stuck in a quagmire of Us vs. Them. Each group feeling like the other has it in for them. Allowing anger and fear to build up - and express itself in unthinkable ways.We seem to only see each other as an enemy. And it is literally killing us.
WHY? What's happening to this world? How will we ever heal??? So I took my broken heart and I knelt at the feet of JESUS. I asked Him, WHY? What's happening to this world? How will we ever heal??? And the image which came to my mind is one I will never forget. It was all of us - broken, angry, afraid, hurting, unsure - standing at the foot of the Cross.At the Cross, we were not different. That is, our differences weren't evident. Because at the Cross we recognized our same-ness. That is, our common need for help and healing and whole-ness. At the cross we are all broken and in need of a Savior. His Name is JESUS. And only HE can heal our land.Come, JESUS. Have mercy on us all!
When you're a kid, sometimes all you want to do is grow up and be an adult. So you can have freedoms, and privileges, and all that other fun stuff you imagine is on the other side of the fence.
But then you get there, and you discover - adulting isn't necessarily all fun and games.In fact, sometimes it stinks! Such is the experience of the newest adult in my household. Josh recently drove over some train tracks and had something fall out of his Jeep. Maybe it was the steering shaft? Whatever it was, he couldn't drive it anymore and had the Jeep towed to the repair shop. Of course, that was a Saturday. And the following Monday was the Fourth of July - so the shop was closed. And they were real busy Tuesday and Wednesday and didn't have a chance to look at the Jeep yet. So Josh was getting antsy because of the transportation restrictions which had so unexpectedly been placed on him. And were lasting longer than he wanted.He was anticipating the repair would be a quick fix. Just re-install the part! And the delay was vexing him.I understood his frustration with the wait. And I wished there was some way I could assure him - because I've had a lotta years of waiting - that it would come to an end. Part of adulting means waiting. Sometimes on other people - because they're busy getting other things done. And sometimes on God - because HE knows the right time.But I knew his heart was too anxious to listen, so I kept my thoughts quiet.When I got home from work Friday, I found Josh had entered into another one of the down sides of adulting. That is, making big financial decisions.As it turns out, the repair is going to be more difficult than it would seem to the untrained observer. That is, about $1,400 more difficult. And Josh is faced with the choice of going forward with the repair, OR coming up with a plan and the money to get a new (new-to-him, that is) vehicle. Because, how much more money does he really want to put into that Jeep???The poor kid - I mean, adult! - is beside himself. This pot hole was not in his plans. And he is not prepared to face it. (Our graduation gift to him was "forgiving" the remainder of his loan on the Jeep. So he hasn't had much time to save up for his next vehicle.) He's a mix of angry, sad, and feeling like life isn't fair.And I get it. I do!Unplanned, hard times like this are a part of adulting.It's one of those times when adulting stinks!And although my son's anxious heart may not be prone to listening right now, I pray God will give me the words Josh needs to receive encouragement. Because growing up is hard to do, and I don't want him to feel like he's got to go through it alone.
Posted by
Karen Hossink
at
6:00 AM
0 surviving with me
Labels: Adventures in Mothering, As the Children Grow

So, what do you give a kid young adult to celebrate his high school graduation?
*Sheeesh!* I just got grilled by LinkedIn. I had an email from them suggesting I log-in to "accept" a couple of endorsements. (Which I didn't accept. One was for Press Releases and the other for Nonprofits. I mean, I know what they are. But to say I know anything about writing or running them? Ahhh, that would not be true.) Anyway, after I declined said endorsements LinkedIn began asking me to endorse someone else. And their first suggestion was right on, so I gladly agreed that, Yes, Connection #1 knows about XYZ. But as soon as I made that endorsement, more options popped up. For those I knew, I gave the nod. However, LinkedIn kept asking and asking and asking. And it got to the point where I was feeling bombarded. I'm all, I don't know if he knows about MRI's, or if she knows about Community Organization. I have no idea if he knows about Legal, or Military, or Medicine, or... I don't know! Leave me alone!!!
I mean, really. How am I supposed to know what everybody knows? Half the time I don't know what I know.But there, in the midst of all the questioning about who knows what - even in the honest evaluation of what I know - I came to the conclusion that only one thing matters.Jesus loves me. This I know! And all the rest is secondary.Are you with me? *smile*
'Tis the season for scheduling talks with MOPS and other moms' groups for the coming year. Annnnnd, it's got me thinking back to when it all began. It was a simple desire back in 2005 to share with my local MOPS group the hope God had instilled in me. Because I was in the midst of a huge struggle - with children who were 9, 7, and 5 - and I had spent four years in that MOPS group feeling so alone. I remember meeting after meeting when I would go in and leave - feeling like every other mother had it all together, and I was the only one who didn't. When I would grumble under my breath, I will NEVER be as perfect as that woman who just spoke to us!
But God. HE met me in the midst of my pain and promised me that HE was not going to allow my struggle to be wasted. Rather, HE was going to use it - to grow me! I believe I will always remember the day when God revealed that concept to me. I was reading about His use of adversity in the life of a believer in Jerry Bridges' book, Growing Your Faith, when I read the statement: The road to holiness is paved with adversity.(!) Over time and through His Word, God convinced me that these struggles I was facing as a mom were not pointless. Instead, HE was going to use them to make me more like Jesus. To shape me into the woman HE wants me to be. Oh, the hope HE poured into my heart! And I was eager to tell other moms about it. You know - just in case my previous perception had been wrong. That is, in the event that other moms were also struggling. So, I called my friend Barb - who was the MOPS coordinator - and asked if I could get on the calendar. And Barb put me in touch with another MOPS leader - who put me in touch with other coordinators - such that I ended up on several MOPS groups' calendars that year. My favorite moment from each meeting was at the end when at least one mom would hug me and - often through tears - tell me, "I am so glad to know I'm not alone!"And here I sit, eleven years later. My children are 20, 18, and 16. We have come through so many, many trials. God has been trustworthy in each one. The struggles didn't kill me - like I often felt they would. The moments I thought would be the end of me - weren't. And God has been faithful to His promise to use the adversity to grow me. Oh, we still have challenges around here. Being a mom has not gotten "easy." And I am fully aware I am not yet the woman He wants me to be. BUT, I am not the woman I used to be. God is at work in me, and I am forever grateful.How have you seen God use adversity to shape your faith, heart, and character?
Posted by
Karen Hossink
at
6:00 AM
0 surviving with me
Labels: Adventures in Mothering, Make Me More Like YOU, Struggling and Growing

I was playing Uno with five ladies last night after dinner.
I know - that may sound like an easy enough task. But when you have a group of ladies whose memories/capabilities range from "all there" to "slipping" to "hanging on by a thread"? Well, let's just say it gets complicated. Especially when "all there" gets easily agitated because "hanging on by a thread" needs things repeated (a lot!) and she sometimes forgets to call out, "Uno!" when she only has one card left. So, we're playing along, laughing and enjoying ourselves - when "all there" starts making under the radar jabs at "hanging on." Her eyes are rolling, she's mumbling under her breath, and giving me she-doesn't-know-how-to-play-this-game looks. Honestly, I wasn't sure "hanging on" even noticed the jabs, but I surely didn't want her feelings to get hurt. So I mouthed to "all there," It's OK. And I hoped she would drop the subject. I mean, I understood she wanted to play the game. And her personality is such that she doesn't like to wait. So, "hanging on" was testing her patience. But I dearly wanted "all there" to get over herself and just enjoy being with friends. I wanted her to realize the slowness of the game wasn't what mattered. Rather, the relationships around the table were worth every minute. Then it occurred to me - the truth I had just discovered is true everywhere. Not just in the Community Room when we're playing cards. And I realized TLC can be shown all over the place by simply coming alongside someone who is having a hard time, and gently guiding them toward their next move. Do you have a green card, or a seven? No? OK. Then pick a card from this pile. Is it green, or a seven? No? Then put it in your hand, and it will be the next person's turn. *smile*No need for scowling, or putting them down, or making some other sort of jab. Just smile, and keep playing.Is there a "hanging on by a thread" in your life? May you always remember that sometimes TLC is spelled G-R-A-C-E.